- c h a p t e r t h r e e -

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A Remembrance

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She'd left out the parts about crying. The ones where her insides turned to mush at the fact that the only love she had was for her book, not even for herself. This girl was what made young teenagers whole again. Her thoughts and dreams shared along lined paper are what made Lesley breath freely at last. So where had she gone? This happy and wondrous person who believed life's pleasures were those hidden in Elm trees and behind marshmallow clouds. Could she have moved to another state? Living with a relative?

Lesley thought maybe she was a cousin. This Cecilia girl who seemed to train her into becoming a young woman. But she couldn't find a last name. Just the first one that oddly enough matched her own middle name. And what a weird name, Lesley had thought when she first heard it.

But now it sang to her through poems and wonderful smelling perfumes you couldn't find at the Lisbon house. Inside her heart was warming. She closed her eyes and could smell the breezes that would have freshly lifted Cecilia's hair. How Lesley envied everything about this girl. She pictured her as the prettiest of her sister's she often mentioned she had. Yet their names were never written.

It had been three days since Lesley had escaped to the attic and every day she went up to find new things, careful to open everything with ease. Throughout her searches she was smiling, but dared not to go close to the side where the statue lay gazing at her. She kept her collection in The Closet, and after a while started piling up records under her bed. But still she only found religious statues, records, and dolls. She was waiting to find something truly worth her hours of interest.

Mrs. Lisbon never wondered where Lesley was because she would often come to the kitchen for some seltzer water and was always in hearing distance when dinner was called. Lesley talked about reading and school more happily and was even thinking about joining the science fair.

Of course Mr. Lisbon was delighted to hear the news and was set on starting right away. But Mrs. Lisbon bit her lip and let her fork drop hard onto the plate.

"Why would you bother with something like that?" She snapped.

Lesley's smile dropped and she looked over at her mother with big blue eyes. Mrs. Lisbon noticed the happiness in her daughter's voice and was starting to get suspicious.

"Because it's fun, Mommy." Lesley said.

Everyone was taken back by the remark. Lesley had never called Mrs. Lisbon, Mommy. She stared wide-eyed, remembering the laughing voices of her daughters as they called out her name.

"Mommy! Come see what we found!"

"Mommy, look at my picture!"

"Mommy, call the police! It's Cecilia!"

The dark memories slammed at her brain and she stood, practically knocking the table over. Lesley crouched in defeat. She knew where she had gotten the speech from. She had been deliberately ordered since birth to call Mrs. Lisbon, Mother. Mommy was what Cecilia had referred to her mother as, in the book.

"Don't you ever call me that again." Her voice cracked, but her eyes were cold and direct.

Lesley looked over to her father who was too busy nervously forking around the mashed potatoes on his plate. She looked down at her own plate and suddenly lost her appetite.

Mrs. Lisbon stormed from the table and upstairs where she would probably read a book to get her mind off things, Lesley thought. She looked at her father, wondering if he would have a similar reaction. But instead he smiled.

"How about that project of yours?" He asked.

.

Billy didn't believe me that Lesley Lisbon was my next door neighbor. I told him plenty of times but he was still under the assumption that she lived in some cave in the woods, raised by a pack of mangy wolves. He laughed after saying this and I looked away.

"Aw, c'mon. The girl even looks like a damn wolf. She has, like, these yellow eyes." He traced his own eyes to show enthusiasm.

"So what. Their called Hazel." I replied, leaning up against the bed post.

"And grimy brown hair!" He said.

"It's dirty blond!" I protested.

Billy snorted and started going through his Nintendo games. He was just jealous that she was in love with me and not him. He was fourteen, a whole year older than me, and he still hadn't gotten one girl to even look at him. He was a bit chubby, with a red nose and crystal blue eyes. He had spiky red hair that was always a mess, but still combed, with freckles all over his face. I wanted to tell him if Lesley looked like a wolf, than he looked like a damned fire ant. But I bit my tongue and dropped the subject, grabbing the controller and taking my anger out in the character I portrayed on the screen.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to be someone else for once? To be able to get inside someone else's mind and be them? I knew I wouldn't mind. Just as long as I didn't have to switch bodies with Billy, then I would be fine.

.

Lesley had stayed up late the night before working on her science project. Well, actually, just talking about the science project. Her father made her map out the entire thing on blueprint paper and then write a list of the things she would need from the store. He had even agreed to let her go with him. Like a father-daughter type thing. She was so excited she could hardly contain the urge to give him a hug, so she just did. And for once in her life she saw him smile warmly at her.

She flipped through the pages of Cecilia's book, practically memorizing the poems and knowing where everything was. Suddenly, something fell to her feet. It was a small pink envelope, one that could probably only fit a small memento card. And that was exactly what was inside. It was a list. The Top Ten Most Important Things I Must Do Before I Die.

They read as follows: 1. Switch Lux's shampoo bottle with peroxide. 2. Read the entire Bible. 3. Use Mary's make-up and hide her hairdryer. 4. Drink alcohol. 5. Smoke a cigarette. 6. Have sex. 7. Get Bonnie to teach me how to play the flute. 8. Fit into one of Therese's brassieres. 9. Graduate. 10. Fly.

Lesley was confused. She recognized the name Lux from that old record and it was on many of the other records upstairs. Mary, Bonnie, Lux, and Therese, must have been her sisters, she thought. And those were perfectly normal wishes to get back at her sister's for childhood things. But drink alcohol? She could do that when she eighteen, she wouldn't die before she was eighteen. Smoke a cigarette? She could do that whenever she wanted. Kids all over had those on there hands. Having sex was a bit of a weird one. Lesley had never even thought about that before. She still wondered where everything went on her own body let alone how to have sex. And graduate? Of course some people didn't do that well in school, but Lesley could tell that Cecilia was smart seeing to the fact that she wrote amazing poems and had the most proper English. Why wouldn't she graduate?

But the weirdest thing of all was the last wish. Of course everyone dreamed of flying, but even Lesley knew, at thirteen, that it was a little girl thought to think you could fly. Or to even dream it for that matter. Lesley had unusual thoughts and aspirations, but flying was definitely not on the list.

This made Lesley wonder if there were things upstairs that belonged to Mary, Bonnie, and Therese. She knew there was the records for Lux, but nothing else really had significant possession or claim by the others. She had never found anything but a few different books with different handwriting that she had just thought were a few school notebooks. She wasn't quite interested in those.

Five sisters. Now Lesley was curious. She knew her mother could hide one persons things. Cecilia's. But how was she keeping all of the other girls things up in that attic? And why?

Lesley closed the book and reached for the brass latch on the attic door. Maybe she did it for a reason, but Lesley took three deep breaths before going up this time. Because she was going to search the other side of the attic. The darker side where the statue lay. She wouldn't have a hard time ever remembering this moment.