Temper the Soul
Chapter 10
by zapenstap
Relena closed the suitcase on her bed and scrubbed the back of her hand across her cheeks. She'd been crying all afternoon, but now there was just a quiet ache left in her breast. To distract herself, she'd called home and asked Noin to bump up her meetings with the Colony delegates for tomorrow. If she wasn't kept busy, she feared her bones would turn into jelly and she'd melt into a quivering lump of tears.
Stiffening her knees, she grimly locked her suitcase and lifted it from the bed. Glancing at herself in the mirror, she grabbed her purse and left the rooms she shared with Heero...the rooms she no longer shared with Heero. Stop thinking about him, Relena, she berated herself as she stood a moment longer on the threshold. It was almost like a little house. Almost. No more.
She should say good-bye to Damion, she really should, but she did not think she could bear to remain another minute longer than she had to, for fear of running into Heero. If she saw him now she would just break down again. He made her feel weak and hollow in her bones, made her feel out of time and place with reality. Her life with him was one gigantic detour. When he refused to publicly claim her, what else could it be? No, it was time to go home, sort things out and put their relationship a rest. Maybe someday he would be ready, but.... could she really afford to wait for him?
Sniffling, trying not to remember how safe and warm she felt in his arms, she strode down the hall and out into the lobby. Several of the servants watched her curiously as she passed.
Quatre caught her in the hall, surprising her when he grasped at her coat sleeve. "Relena," he said kindly, placing a hand on her shoulder to halt her. "What's going on? Is there an emergency somewhere?"
All dressed for travel, Relena just looked at him. Quatre has been in and out of the palace since that first day, staying in a hotel somewhere in the city, attending to his own affairs, every once and awhile paying herself or Duo or Damion a visit, but she did not think he had planned to come to the palace this morning.
"What are you doing here, Quatre?" she asked, trying to manage a smile, but she knew her face only looked contorted.
"I don't know, actually," he said. "I was thinking about you guys and I thought I would come down and see Heero since he's been kind of scarce lately. But now that I'm here, I think maybe you're the one who could use a friend. What's wrong? Did something happen?"
Relena set her suitcase down, suddenly exhausted. "Heero and I broke up," she said with a thick, muted voice.
Quatre's baby blue eyes widened, making him look more child-like than he usually did. "But why?" he asked in stunned surprise. "You're great together!"
Relena managed a weak smile for him, lifting her suitcase again. "It just didn't work out, Quatre," she said apologetically through sudden tears. "It just wasn't going anywhere. I..." she blinked rapidly, dispelling the tears from her eyes. "I can't wait for him forever, Quatre." She flushed. "He doesn't seem to be interested in much more than my body lately, and when that interest failed..." she choked, remembering the way he had held her so tenderly in the garden, how he had looked into her eyes with such incredible urgency. What had he been trying to say? "I don't know," she said, shaking her head to clear away the imaged. "I don't understand what he wants from me. I just..."
Quatre's eyes softened with understanding as she turned her face away. "It's okay, Miss Relena," he said sympathetically. "If it's meant to be, it will work out."
She smiled at him once more over her shoulder and hoisted her suitcase. "I suppose so," she said quietly. Perhaps it was just not meant to be then. The princess and the soldier... was everything she believed just an unrealistic ideal? "Thank you for listening anyway."
She hurried past him, aware of the fresh sprout of tears welling up in her eyes. Today she would go home and surround herself with the comfort of friends and family and the satisfaction of her work, praying that some day God would be good to her and she would find a love for someone that would last. Though how that was to materialize in anything other than the soldier she had come to love with every fiber in her body she did not understand. She loved Heero so much it hurt. Even now her stomach was all twisted up into knots thinking about him. He was...Heero. He would always be her Heero. She'd almost rather be alone than start over while he still breathed somewhere in the world. Why couldn't he just...? But she knew why, and she understood in a way, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't fair to just accept it forever and love him until she bled her heart out. All the sorrow, the confusion, the insecurity, the desperation, the willpower of Heero Yuy were so ingrained in her that she knew she could never turn away, but she couldn't live in torment any longer, living for him. Something had to change...unless this was good-bye forever. Maybe it was even better that way.
"Good-bye, Heero," she said to the empty air, and headed to the airport
where a private jet was waiting to take her home.
*****
Damion's jaw still ached, but he hardly noticed it now. Duo, Terese and Manny were staring at him and Audrey in breathless, agonizing silence. Julia just appeared to be thinking. The ring on Audrey's finger still caught the light, but she had stopped twisting it.
Audrey's eyes were brown, dark and luminous, shining like hard glass. She was looking straight at him, her face blank, without accusation or anger or worry, nothing. It was like a void had formed behind her eyes and he could read nothing of her feelings. To him she looked cold, accepting, resolved. He would rather have her furious, hurt, anything but this. She looked at him as if to say what he had done was nothing more than she had expected. Remembering her father, he never felt so low in his entire life.
"Please leave us," Damion said to the others, looking only briefly at Manny to communicate the urgency of his request.
Manny's eyes were filled with concern, but he must have caught whatever Damion was feeling, and nodding, pulled Terese away by the elbow. Julia slipped out of the room as if she had never been there and Duo did not wait around either. When the door closed behind them all, it was if the gate of a vault has slammed shut. The stifling silence in the wake of it set his nerves on edge. His stomach felt like lead.
She was still looking at him, even now expecting nothing. He felt that if he didn't say something soon she would simply turn and walk out as if it didn't matter at all.
"Audrey," he forced himself to plead. "Please don't look like that."
She turned her head slightly, dark curls brushing against pale cheeks, and he was reminded of a snowy owl, silent and staring like a statue for a long time until its sudden movement reminded you it was alive.
"Audrey," he said again, and tried to say more.
"Don't," she said curtly, waving a hand to cut him off. "I don't care."
He took a step toward her, mortified. The floor seemed to be sinking beneath his feet. He wanted things to be right between them. He regretted every girl he had ever kissed at that moment, if only she would not look like that.
"You should care," he said urgently, moving a little closer until he could see into her eyes. She looked back at him, tilting her head proudly, but he could see in her eyes that there really was no resentment, just resignation.
"I don't love you," she said coolly. She was like the ocean in the tropics, rhythmic, salty and serene. She was not cold or distant, merely plain, honest. "Why would I care if you kissed someone else?"
The turmoil of emotions in his gut made him almost feel sick, but he knew she was not trying to hurt him. It hurt anyway. "Audrey," he said a little more roughly than he wanted. Inside, he shook, not with anger, but with desperation, with passionate urgency. He wanted to touch her, but refrained. "I'm sorry. I never intended it to happen. We were both drunk and we were both lonely and depressed… It just happened. It was bad timing, bad in any case, but it didn't mean anything."
"I know," she said more warmly and more forcefully. She smiled at him, a small, sad smile. "I understand, Damion. I'm just trying to tell you that it doesn't hurt me. I understand."
It hurt him. Would it be horrible to say that he wished it did hurt her? Was it fair of him, to desire her to love him, at least enough to be jealous when he made a mistake?
"You're my fiancé," he said quietly, and took her left hand in both of his, caressing the soft skin of her knuckles. She let him, straight-backed and stiff, staring still into his face. He could not wrench his gaze away from those eyes even if he had wanted to. "I feel…"
"I know," she said again, and even in that moment of confession she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. But her words, though full of compassion and comprehension, came almost like blows. "I told you I understand. It was a mistake. It won't happen again. You're always honest, Damion. This isn't an issue of trust. I get it."
He shook his head. Was it possible he thought she was being too practical, too forgiving? "No, it won't happen again," he said through his teeth, clutching her curled fingers more tightly. "But, Audrey," he said forcefully, "it's not okay. It was a stupid, drunk thing to do which will be forgotten in my mind, but listen to me, Audrey…" she was staring into his eyes now, her mouth slightly parted in astonishment at his forcefulness. He wanted to kiss that mouth. He would, if he thought it would help, but he knew it wouldn't. Instead he needed to make things clear. He needed to explain the situation to both of them, though it hurt to admit it. "You say you understand that it didn't mean anything. I believe you. I also understand. I understand that you don't love me and think you never will…"
"Damion," she said with such sadness, but he could see in her eyes that he had only spoken the truth in her mind.
"I won't say I don't care," he continued a little harshly, and his whole body stiffened with the effort to remain calm. "I think I may love you, but whether I do or not, I promise I will be good to you as you have promised to be good to me, even if you don't keep that promise."
"I will keep it," she said with quiet resolve, almost more energetically than he had expected.
He squeezed her hand. He was shaking so badly. "I know," he said. It wasn't what he wanted, but all he really had when it came down to it was the truth. "Whatever happens," he continued with passionate sincerity, "whether my love for you grows or fades, I promise I will take care of you in every way a man can take care of a woman. But I don't want to control you, Audrey, and I don't want to force you to feel anything you don't feel. I'm sorry this is so hard and so strange for both of us, but when I marry you I will keep my vows and I will be good to you. I will never intentionally do anything to hurt you. Audrey…" he closed his eyes, feeling for the first time how impossible this really was. She did not love him, and he could not expect her to. "You should expect me to do all of those things whether I love you or not, whether you love me or not. Vows are vows, however feelings change."
"Thank you," she said with feeling, and he opened his eyes. Her eyes were moist, he realized, and warm. "I didn't mean to hurt you just now. I see that I did. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
"I do," he said quietly. "If…"
She smiled at him and drew close, resting her forehead on his shoulder. Carefully, he gently put his other hand around her waist. She did not stir or pull away, and he tried hard to keep from sighing his relief. She was soft to the touch, pleasantly warm and real.
"Thank you for understanding," she said, pulling away just enough to speak to him. "I know what happened that night happened partially because of the way I reacted when…" she looked down and trailed off, flushing. "I've told you that I'm sorry about that too. But believe me, Damion, I am not upset with you now. These things happen. People make mistakes when they are lonely and confused. I can't be angry. But the truth is that I do not love you. I do not know if I can ever love you the way you want, to have that amorous passion young people are supposed to have. I saw it in that other boy just now, what he was feeling for that girl and the anger he had for what you did. I do not know if I could ever have as strong a reaction as that, if I will ever want to possess you as thoroughly as that, want you like that." She looked away and stepped back, out of his grip, a blush suffusing her pale cheeks. He felt heat rising his own face, remembering how nice she felt so close. Embarrassed, she hurried on, forcing her arms to her sides as she tried to meet his eyes. "The past is in the past. I will be a good wife to you. That's all I can promise."
"Okay," he said, accepting her words at the value with which they were spoken, though his heart cried out in plaintive protest. He was shaking inside. He wanted to cry or beat on things. That, or grab this girl and kiss her and touch her until she yielded to him. Unwanted images cascaded through his mind and he flushed, taking several breaths to calm himself. It was strange. He desired her suddenly, but not at all to satisfy himself. He wasn't sure what it was, and he wasn't sure if he was even ashamed of it. "Then I suppose I will see you in a few hours for the ceremony," he said quietly. "Until then, if you want to meet with my mother…"
"I do," she said.
He nodded and brought her hand to his to kiss. "I will show you the
way," he said, and she quietly took his arm, watching him with those dark
eyes, thoughtful now, tinged with sadness and respect. Well, at least she
was no longer cold. And she did not despise him.
*****
Duo found himself walking down the hallway and talking to Julia. He'd never met a woman like her before, lusciously beautiful, every smile and glance a teasing invitation to something mysterious and pleasurable. Even with those looks, which almost seemed unconscious, she did not appear to be interested in him, which was good, because he was perfectly happy with Hilde! Still, she has quite the face and body. He was curious if the rumors about her were true, that she was free with her favors when it came to men she considered profitable. Still, she seemed to be the quiet, reflective type, taking information in by silent observation or clever manipulation and processing it for her own benefit. He would probably annoy her the minute he opened his mouth. Why was she following him?
"Does your friend always have that short of a temper?" she asked suddenly, quickening her pace until she stood just beside him.
"Uh, not really," he fumbled. "Only when he thinks he's losing. He always succeeds, you see, and he hates it when he fails or loses control. And he's always been a head case when it comes to Relena."
"A strange pair," she murmured.
"They're both nuts," Duo laughed, crossing his arms. "Some people think they're weird together, but they give off the same kind of vibes to me. They're both hard to get to know, though Relena's openly nicer. They both have all these walls and inhibitions, but they're crazy about each other. You can see it when they're together, even if they're not speaking or doing anything."
"So why did they break up?" she asked in a cool, measured tone.
"I don't know," Duo replied truthfully, scratching his head. "Sometimes Heero gets all twitchy and starts doubting the validity of their relationship. He's had kind of a hard life and her brother has been disapproving lately, but more than anything I think Heero's just afraid of getting too close. They're so secretive about their sex life too. It's almost like they don't want anyone to know. Besides, she's a celebrity and he's just a soldier. I guess that's a lot of pressure sometimes."
He was talking too much, he realized. Heero wouldn't appreciate him spreading details about his relationship with Relena. Abashed, he bit his tongue.
Julia didn't say anything, though.
"Do you think Damion will be okay?" Duo asked her instead. He was surprised how controlled Heero's punch had been. He had feared much worse. "And Audrey? What were all of you doing in there anyway?"
Julia waved a dismissive hand. "Damion can take care of his own affairs. At this point it doesn't matter anyway. They have to marry each other no matter what Damion does. But, of course, Damion is a good kid." She smiled fondly. "He'll work things out."
Duo shrugged, deciding not to worry about it if Julia wasn't going to.
As they came out into the lower plaza of the palace, Duo caught sight of Heero, standing as if lost, his arms at his sides, staring off into nothing. Quatre was by his side, seeming to have detained him, and was talking is quick, soothing tones. Duo grinned. He hadn't heard much from Quatre lately. The guy had been traipsing all over town and beyond since that first day.
Heero looked like he always did, tight-lipped and distance, not looking at anybody. He didn't even appear to really understand what Quatre was saying. His eyes were shadowed, hurt and nothing on his face indicated that he was listening.
"What's going on?" Duo asked, sauntering over to them. Should he just pretend that that scene in Damion's study hadn't happened, like they were just a bunch of old comrades gathering together to ease the tension? Or was Heero willing to listen to advice now?
"She's gone," Heero said when he came over.
Apparently Heero's thoughts were still quite focused on Relena. "What do you mean?" Duo asked, blinking.
"She packed up her stuff and went back to Cinq," he said without much tone.
Duo stared in astonishment. She just left?
Quatre's big blue eyes shimmered with sympathy. "I know she cares about you, Heero."
Heero looked like he wanted to sit down, but there was nothing around. Instead he just stiffened, the muscles in his face tensing as he continued staring off into space. "I can't believe she's gone," he said quietly, looking away from them, his eyebrows drawn low.
"Heero…" Duo began.
"I can't believe it," Heero repeated with that same emptiness, shaking his head. Without further comment he turned from them and walked away, wandering out of the lobby with measured paces, though seemingly without destination.
Duo shared a look with Quatre.
"I hate seeing him so upset," Quatre said with a heavy, shoulder-heaving sigh. "And I hate being the bearer of bad news. I wish they could work it out."
Duo sighed, resigned. "Yeah. Me too. They more or less deserve each other."
It was then that he noticed that Julia had disappeared.
*****
Heero entered the first empty room he came to and sat heavily in an ornately carved chair. All his rage and fear was gone. It drained out of him the second his fist had connected with Damion's face and all he felt now was sluggish and absurd.
How had he missed her? She had fled from him like he was a disease. She must have run to their rooms to pack her things. She must have called Noin to have a plane sent before he even met her in the gardens. That meant she knew they would break up. She had decided it before he went to find her! That meeting had been his last chance then, in her mind. She had poured her heart out to him. She had touched him and cried for forgiveness and he had just… He let his head sink into his hands, closing his eyes.
Was he just supposed to have excused her for kissing Damion simply because she cried? He would have, though, he knew. He would have if he had not decided that moment to ask her to marry him. If it was just to mend their relationship he would have been mad for a minute, but then he would have forgiven her. But to ask her to marry him after such a confession, he just couldn't do it. Bad timing. All of his failures were a result of bad timing.
And now she was gone, back to her brother and back to her career, probably determined to forget about him. And he was here, thinking about her. She would probably marry someone else, some haughty politician or humanitarian that would suit her interests; not the poor soldier whose soul she had saved.
It was the sex too, he knew. It made him uncomfortable, loving her and then feeling like he was using her, even if he wasn't, not really. It made her position with her brother and her associates, her position as a model to the world, complicated. Even so, he still wanted her. And he definitely didn't want anyone else to have her.
The door creaked open and he lifted his head, wiping tears away from his eyes. He did not remember crying.
"Julia," he said in surprise, remaining where he was, though he straightened some.
She nodded at him over her shoulder and shut the door heavily. And locked it.
"How are you, Heero?" she purred.
"What do you want?"
Smiling, she turned, brushing golden curls from her neck and shoulders. As she paced toward him with a walk like a predatory cat, he swallowed, feeling suddenly trapped and suffocated. The way she was looking at him… the room felt very hot.
"You broke up with your girlfriend?" she asked, standing in front of his knees.
Alarmed, he tried to lean back but there was nowhere to go.
"Or she broke up with you?" she corrected herself, one slim eyebrow rising.
"Why are you here?" he demanded hoarsely. What was she doing, trapping him in his chair, towering above him? He would have to clamber over the armrests or physically move her to escape. She didn't look dangerous, of course, small and feminine as she was, just… predatory. Her eyes flashed like a tiger's, a glint like gold in her blue eyes.
Annoyed, he reached up to grasp her arms and move her, but suddenly found her arms snaked around his neck. Startled, he let go, hands flailing. Before he could breathe she had straddled him in the chair with bent knees, climbing onto his lap and wrapping her slender smooth arms around his neck. His breathing quickened and his heart raced as his body reacted to her position. Staring into her face, he noticed that she had a sultry mouth and full lips begging to be kissed. Her blue eyes seemed to swallow him into their depths, a bright, oceanic blue, tempting him, baiting him. The pale, creamy skin of her face and neck were too close to his face, her blonde, crisply curls clinging to his fingers as he touched it.
He sat as if frozen, staring into her face as she breathed warm sensuous air into his face. Pressed up against him, he could feel her thighs around his legs, gripping him steadily through the full skirt of her dress. Her cool, delicate fingers traced the contours of his neck and he jumped, jerking back suddenly.
Relena loved to touch his neck like that. With that thought, he lost focus. Julia's face blurred and he could no longer even sense her. His memory was overwhelmed by images of Relena. He saw her walking beside him, talking, lying on her couch, reading, smiling at him from her desk. He would push her into empty corners and kiss her until she begged for breath. His hands would wrap around her waist, tangle in her hair, cup her face… Oh God, he missed her. God, he loved her.
Abruptly, Julia laughed a crisp, hearty laugh that brought him out of memory and back to Taravren in a heartbeat. In three seconds she was off of him and standing some distance away, a coolly composed lady of control, stature and beauty, smiling at him with a friendly twinkle in her eye. He could only stare at her in astonishment, flushing in spite of himself.
"You are not a straying man, it seems," she said.
He stared at her, completely without words with which to speak.
She crossed her arms, her eyes twinkling. "I mean, you certainly are not looking for sex."
He flushed.
She chuckled again. "What are you still doing here, if your girl has gone home?"
"I…" he gasped, unsure where to go with that.
"You love her," she murmured with confidence. "Don't you?"
"Yes," he said, closing his eyes, still unable to shake the images of Relena. He felt he had to answer such direct questions. "I love her."
"She kissed another man, you know."
She had kissed another man. It was said so plainly. He imagined Relena's kiss with Damion for the hundredth time, down to the very details. It made him jealous, possessive and angry… But, he loved her.
Suddenly he realized how stupid this was. Another woman had just straddled his lap. If she had kissed him he probably would have kissed her back, before he had time to think, and he was not drunk. Surging out of the chair, he stumbled across the room toward the door, hardly thinking of Julia. He remembered what that pastor in that Church had told him about marriage, about his fears and his desires. She may be a princess, a politician, but she loved him, understood him, and he wanted to take care of her. He knew that in reality she would never abandon him; he was just afraid. Relena wasn't gone. She had gone home, true, but that would not stop him. He still wanted to marry her. He would make her hear him out.
"You're just a soldier," Julia reminded him coolly as he passed her. "What would she want with you?"
He turned on her, a flash fire of determination in his heart, and angry at her for flinging his own inhibition in his face. "Relena can make her own decisions," he said. "She's braver than most soldiers. She risks her life to live, not die, and she loves me." He lowered his eyes. "I love her."
"You can't look me in the eye and say that?" Julia said scornfully.
He raised his head and looked her in the eye. "I love her," he repeated. "And she loves me. I want to marry her."
She smiled at him. "Then what are you still doing here with me?"
Heero knew it was a game and that she was playing him, but he didn't care; whatever she was doing seemed to be helping. Nodding, he unlocked the door and strode out into the hallway, not looking back. Julia's light, whimsical laugh followed him out.
When Heero reemerged in the lobby, Quatre and Duo had been joined by Manny and Terese. Speaking together in quiet whispers, they did not see him at first. When they finally did notice him, Duo let out a cry.
"Whoa! Heero, what the hell is the matter now?"
Was there a glint in his eye? Did he look angry? "Nothing," he said, trying to sound non-aggressive, and turned to Damion's servant abruptly. "Tell Damion I'm sorry I lost my temper." Manny blinked in surprise, but Heero knew that Damion would believe anything relayed through Manny, and there was something to be said, though he hadn't the time to convey it personally. "Tell him everything is forgiven and forgotten by me and that I hope he has a happy marriage with Audrey."
"…Wha…?" Duo blinked. Even Quatre looked baffled.
"Sure," Manny replied in puzzlement.
Heero smiled, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his chest and he could say anything he thought and felt without feeling awkward and self-conscious at all. "Tell him he's a really good guy and I consider him a friend. I hope there's no hard feelings." He'd never admitted to himself that Damion was a friend before. He barely considered Duo and Quatre friends.
"All right. I will," Manny said slowly. Terese, hanging on Manny's arm, was smiling at Heero.
Heero nodded and took a deep breath, gathered his control and motivation and continued on his way.
"Heero, where are you going?" Duo asked. "Why this change in attitude?"
"I'm going to the Cinq Kingdom," he said, brushing past them. Quatre and Duo both followed him, flanking him on either side. "I've got to talk to Relena," he continued with a low growl. "It's not going to end like this."
He didn't tell them about marrying her, and wouldn't until he could talk to her first. He was resolute, though. Nothing she said or did could dissuade him from telling her what he wanted. Well, he ought to buy her a ring first, but he would do that after he apologized and won her back. There was plenty of time. Nothing could stop him now.
"Uh, Heero," Quatre said suddenly, smiling at him with a worried, child-like smile.
"What?" Heero demanded gruffly as he walked.
Duo and Quatre exchanged a glance. "We've been talking about it and if Relena's gone back to Cinq and you want her back..." Quatre began.
Heero glared at him. "Just spit it out, Quatre. What?" He hated inefficient delays.
"You're going to have to fight Zechs for her," Duo finished grimly.
Heero stopped in his tracks. The world lurched forward and back.
"Not physically," Duo clarified, crossing his arms. "But you know how he's disapproved of the two of you lately, and well, now that you've upset her and they're on the same page…"
They were right. Relena would go to Milliardo now for comfort and protection. He was jealous of that too, but the implications were more compromising. Everything had to come out into the open. He would have to deal with Zechs as well as Relena if he really wanted to be in her life.
"Oh hell," he said crossly to no one in particular, but he wasn't going to be stopped
*****
By some miracle of God, Damion's jaw did not swell up obviously or turn purple. At least, it hadn't by the time he was supposed to make his debut with Audrey on the balcony. The palace began to buzz with activity at about six o'clock. By seven it was organized chaos. Terese's voice could be heard in every corridor issuing orders as she leapt and dashed about in a hectic dance that would somehow arrange everything to a state of perfection of which even God would be proud. Despite the perspiration on her forehead and the shrieks that admitted from her throat, she smiled and laughed and glowed like she was having the time of her life. Manny was just as busy, helping Damion prepare and bolting at every opportunity to finish some task Terese had passed along to him in the madness. Damion did his best not to bite down too hard on his jaw and practiced his speech in his head, letting the words run through his brain in a continuous flow.
They were all last minute preparations. He had about five minutes before he had to step out in front of several thousand people and announce the date of his wedding day and coronation and present Audrey as his bride-to-be.
He currently stood dressed in his formal wear from head to toe, assisted by several attendants as he waited for Terese to tell him when the crowd was ready for his appearance. Audrey stood at his side, coolly composed, her hand resting lightly on his wrist. Everyone had been talking to her and about her since they emerged from his mother's apartments with his ring on her hand. His mother had been pleased with her, and Audrey had shown his mother a warm, happy and considerate aspect of her personality. One day, he hoped she would feel that and more for him, but things were just too complicated right now.
In the interval between his proposal and this announcement, Manny had informed him that Relena had left the Cinq Kingdom unexpectedly and that Heero, Duo, Hilde and Quatre had all followed her. Well, Heero mostly. The others had decided to travel with him to Cinq, but frome there they were destined to split and return to their own affairs. The news surprised him, but not overly. If Relena left, he knew the others would too, but it also meant that he was unexpectedly alone now with his own people in Taravren. Manny would always be there to support him, of course, and Terese too, but it was a strange feeling after being surrounded by friends for so many days. Julia would be lurking about also, and he could count on her to support him, especially with the Council Lords and political issues, but she had not the sort of sympathetic soul Relena did. Well, with the others gone he supposed he would have more time to spend with Audrey, take care of his mother, and attend to his duties a Prince Regent, especially in regard to this Gardiner crisis.
Manny also said that Heero had apologized before he left and called Damion his friend. Damion almost laughed, but didn't. Only someone like Heero would call someone a friend after a fight. Maybe Damion had met some sort of standard, but if so, he had no idea what. He had, after all, fallen flat on his back and did not retaliate. Even so, he returned to gesture and was simply glad the whole thing was behind them.
"Ready?" he asked Audrey.
She smiled at him behind her cool exterior, nodding. She looked like a queen, especially in the gown she wore, and it eased him to see her adapting so easily to that role, but it was not enough for his romantic heart. She was not a part of him right now. They were not functioning as a unit, but as too independent people in a compromise. He wished for more, he would have begged for it, but as it was he took a deep breath, smiled back at her and prepared to step out in front of the ten thousand people that would gather behind the gates to gawk at her and hear him speak.
Seven months before the wedding march would play, before a crown would be placed on his head.
"Be easy, Damion," she said. "The people love you. Everything will be fine."
Such assurance was not necessarily comforting, but he nodded and refused to think how much he wanted to kiss her for luck.
When Terese told him it was time, he led her out on the balcony, clearing his mind of everything else. It would be so much easier if he was not in love with her.
Kind of feels like an ending, doesn't it? Well, it's NOT! There's lots of action and drama ahead. The best parts are still to come. You all want to see what happens with Relena and Heero right? Actually, nothing's resolved with any of the characters. It's just not a cliffhanger like usual. Don't let that stop you from reviewing! I worked very very hard to get this out in a week and I really need to know it was worth it. So please review, okay? And then come back next chapter, yes? Am I whining too much? PLEASE REVIEW!!!