Tigerlily looked directly into her, through her–a dark vastness of nothing that could stretch between London and Neverland with space to go further still. She'd moved her arms into her lap, straightening into a stiff posture with the intention of protecting herself from whatever the Indian Chieftess thought that she could reach out and pluck into her possession. Unlike Peter, she didn't sense any cold calculation, no particular intent that should make her want to run and hide. If anything, Tigerlily only gave off a certain displeasure, one that she could safely assume had to do with her presence in her camp, alone.
And with Peter Pan of all people, no less.
Her outright insistence to whisk her away to a tent to talk had been a surprise, yet not one that Wendy welcomed with open arms and a heartfelt smile. Every muscle in her was primed and ready to bolt, the decay of Neverland having proven her right more than once that anyone could have changed–that the decay could have touched them too. In a world drowning in its own magic, she looked to be thriving, if her beauty was enough an indicator of that.
The dim light of a simple torch only highlighted her dark features and gave a soft glow that didn't touch Wendy in the same way. It never would. Not that she wanted to learn to thrive in such a place.
Over her shoulder, the darkness came rolling down from the long stretch of mountains stacked crooked on the horizon, the sun sinking. Soon night began its reign over the otherwise still lively village. A dismal grey cloud obscured the moon, veiling the stars with its murky cloak. Determination welled up through Wendy, settling her spirit into an icy kind of clarity. Archer had engaged Peter in a conversation outside and she took it as a wordless cue to act.
Her lips parted.
"I'm here because–" She started.
"I spoke with Peter once a while ago." Tigerlily intercepted. "I asked him about your world and yet he didn't have an answer. I thought that our meeting was only a mere hallucination until I noticed the changes in him."
Her eyes flickered back to her, shrugging her shoulders. "He has grown into his boyish charm, but his aging has been affecting the rest of the island. I wondered if the changes were mere coincidence. I am beginning to have doubts."
Wendy nodded without looking at the tribe queen. There was that guilt again, sinking like a stone in her stomach - she had joined the pirates. Familiar tendrils of dread snaked their way into her gut. She rolled her shoulders, cracked her neck.
What would Tigerlily say if she knew? She felt like a traitor. No, she couldn't tell her. Couldn't risk it. "I thought maybe you could help him." A frown besieged her features and she shook her head with hesitation.
She finally allowed herself to feel something other than envy towards the level-headed woman sitting next to her. It was an emotion that, albeit repressed, she knew had been there all along and it came astonishingly close to admiration. She felt a calm settle within her, a relief that came with talking to another woman, completely unheeded by their differences. "He's become..."
Horizon and sky met just over her shoulder in vague blackness. Perhaps it was just in her imagination, but a mysterious weight, some vague agreement, seemed to pass fine in the air between the two.
"A bit dangerous, I think. It started when he stopped visiting me, or so I've been told."
A slight smile pulled at the edges of Tigerlily's lips, but it was almost sad rather than joyous, as if she was reminiscing of a time when Peter was a simple Lost Boy on the island, sailing over the trees with a carefree demeanor and not worrying about any cruelty in the world. A simple boy living life as intended, making fun wherever he found himself. It strongly contrasted with the Peter they knew now, so authoritative and seemingly waiting for some inevitable outcome. "He has." She agreed.
"There is nothing that I can do for him." Her expression turned thoughtful, singed with regret that there was actually no help that could be offered from her side. Wendy shared that feeling; she knew it all too well. "But I can sense it too. He's not alone," one finger tapped gently at her temple. "There is something agitating him, and with only a fraction of his memories, I think he may be embracing it instead of fighting it."
While a part of her had greeted Peter with open arms and not a single sign that anything had changed between them, a part of her seemed to miss the old Peter too. "There were no immediate drastic changes when he returned to Neverland several years ago. It was gradual, and I believe a part of him flipped when Captain Killian Jones returned as well. Whatever has grasped hold of Peter is influencing his actions and decisions. His demeanor."
"Influencing him from the inside out?"
She nodded and turned her hardened gaze onto Wendy. "Neverland is rejecting him since he is no longer a boy and while I am unsure how much time he has, perhaps the solution could very well reside in the past, with his memories and with his changes from a boy, or with Killian Jones." Her brows furrowed. "There is a lot of ground to cover with very little time. There is also the chance that reminding him could only make his condition worse." She sighed, shaking her head. "I am just as unsure as you must be."
Wendy tensed a little when she mentioned Killian, but she fought to keep herself outwardly composed. An unexpected surge of worry pierced through her and she wondered what he was doing, if he was still on his ship or somewhere else. Killian, she thought, was never truly shipless; he stood on dry land as if bracing for the next wave, walked over sand as if his boots thunk instead against wood worn smooth from years of sea water. She had to tamp down on a small curl of heat that unfurled just under her ribs.
Her thoughts shifted and spiralled and dimmed.
Despite how peaceful it felt to talk to her like this, she suddenly couldn't bring herself to look at Tigerlily for some reason and so she spoke to her feet. "Perhaps he doesn't want to remember." she said thoughtfully. "I tried to bring it up. He didn't react well to it." The darkness surrounding them did nothing to hide the involuntary wince that skittered across her face. However, it vanished quickly.
The Indian Chieftess said she couldn't do anything, but it hardly hindered her from still being of help.
The thing about it was that she knew, intellectually, why Tigerlily's enigmatic personality was so intriguing to her. She had always been a bit reserved, always like something was hidden, and it would have been a lie to pretend that Wendy couldn't relate to that. She was beginning to find ways to brush some of the dust off of the window, get fractured glances inside.
Finally, she looked at her. There was a shimmer to her black hair, illuminated by moonlight peaking through the pale light sifting through the curtain, and she briefly wondered if she would ever want to be her friend.
"When we find a piece of ourselves missing, we do not give up in finding it." Tigerlily spoke with wisdom so far beyond someone of her age, with a genuine confidence genuinely in words that even Wendy had trouble doubting. It could rally allies, to get those she willed to listen, to obey no matter the circumstance. The tone of voice that could only belong to a leader that had ruled in a position as long as she had.
Beside her father of course. Her father, of whom, noticeably wasn't around.
"An entity is telling him to be angry as opposed to logical. To lash out instead of listen. Neverland and its people have changed too much to simply go back to the way it was, even if he does find his missing pieces." Not to mention Killian seemed insistent on having the boy's head—not a quick death as he had before, but to teach him a lesson, to make him regret whatever had transpired between the two of them before. A mystery neither had any intentions of sharing.
"So, is all lost, then?"
Tigerlily kept her head held high despite the circumstance; despite the heaviness of the topic at hand. "Our Peter isn't lost just yet, but he is well on his way. The mermaids whispered his name to me, and I believe the invisible force they spoke of and him are connected to what is happening. If we can rid the darkness in Peter, perhaps Neverland can gain some semblance of its previous peace." Even if Neverland would never accept their king as an adult. It would need a replacement before the darkness inevitably killed him—or until he was too far gone and changed the island for the worse.
"But he will fight, and so will this darkness so it must be handled carefully. Gradually but with haste." A newfound determination seemed to spark within her. They needed to understand how and why everything happened in order to reverse it; how he had gradually changed.
What happened after his return to Neverland that inevitably threw their prince into a hole that he couldn't crawl out of?
What had grabbed a hold of him and refused to let go?
It all began at one point after he left Wendy that final time. A point after he had returned home and spent time with the boys.
They needed Killian.
"You are missing one of your Lost Boys as well, I noticed." Tigerlily said from seemingly nowhere, after a brief few moments of silence had settled. Just long enough for her to barely process the information, only to be given another bewildering piece.
"Excuse me?" Wendy blinked.
"Surely you've recognized that you're missing Jagger? If I recall, Pan used to have six boys following at his beck and call and now I see only five." An underlying hint of accusation laid underneath a placid expression, Tigerlily's eyebrows raised, as if gently coaxing a response forth to contradict what she'd so blatantly laid at her feet. Wendy didn't have one, only stealing a glance over her shoulder to where the boys mingled amongst themselves in the center clearing.
Archer, Runner, Scout, Jester, and Fox…
She'd merely assumed that he'd been off on a request for Peter at the time, and she'd only just recently noticed his absence–so much had changed in the last five years that she had mistakenly overlooked one of their own. A pang of guilt yanked at her chest, giving the small group another once over before confirming within herself.
He really was gone.
Why had no one thought to mention him to her, then? Surely, they would have wanted her to know, or rather should expect her to want an explanation once she finally noticed? "Peter and the other boys never mentioned him." She turned back. "Do you know what happened?"
"Think for yourself, Darling. You'll save yourself a lot of heartbreak that way." She rose from where she'd sat with her legs crossed on the floor of the tent, taking elegant strides that Wendy could never hope to mimic to the opening of the tent. She stopped there, leaving the opening just a crack. Wendy turned to face her but otherwise didn't stand. "If he's lucky, he'll have died rather than face Neverland at its worst."
Wendy gaped. "Died? You'd say such a thing?
"What did your Killian Jones tell you while you were gallivanting with the pirates? Surely, we are of the same opinion when it comes to our Neverland Prince and the island's new hidden terrors."
"How do you know of the pirates and I?"
"Peter Pan was not the only thing that the mermaids passed to me. Wendy Darling has returned under the watchful eye of Killian Jones, the newfound Captain of the Jolly Roger." She scoffed. "It is no difficult leap to suspect that of the truth, and here you are."
Wendy swallowed thickly. "Killian is looking for Peter, but he won't kill him. We made an agreement. He's chosen to play fair until we figure out what's happened to him, at least for my sake–"
"Nobody smart plays fair." Tigerlily's sudden rise out of her usual calm demeanor had been the first that Wendy had ever heard from her, then it settled. "If he were half a man, he would state his desire rather than lie to appease your delicate feelings. The blood between them has boiled long before your return, and do not think your charms are an olive branch between them." She said, flat. "They're not."
Wendy squared her shoulders, defiant. "You do not know Killian Jones as I do."
"And you are a sad, sad fool." Tigerlily cocked a smile, absent of any humor. Her tone came out harsh, the force of it nearly knocking Wendy back. "I refuse to be lectured by a child who believes that her world is some romantic adventure. Neverland is cruel. It is unforgiving. The sooner you come to terms with that, the longer you may just survive until you can go back to your cushiony life in London where men fall over their feet at your every whim."
"I do not think of it as anything romantic!" Wendy shot back, bristling as she finally rose to her feet. "I was brought here by the pirates, and I stayed because I wanted to help Peter. That is all!"
"Hold your tongue!" Tigerlily snapped, their voices rising past the privacy that the tent offered.
Wendy scowled. "You–!"
Peter appeared in the entrance of the tent, forcing the Indian Chieftess back a few steps. A skeptical stare was given to Wendy, one that forced her to avert her eyes before she shrunk back into her seat, still fuming. "One of the boys suggested that I pay you a visit," His voice held something else that he didn't quite regard Wendy with anymore.
Compassion. Respect. Recognition.
His head dipped to meet Tigerlily's eyes, gaze lingering just below her nose and back up again as though he were mulling over a possibility, a want that he couldn't quite bring himself to explore. That bit of distance remained maintained; a respectable amount that still showed a vast knowledge of the difference in their positions.
"It's been a while." He smiled, both corners of his mouth upturned in the barest trace of happiness that he could ever bestow in front of someone, intense green stare showing the inner workings of his emotions, the approximation of happiness that the old Peter so desperately grasped or behind the shadow looming behind him.
The gentle pounding of Wendy's heart, the raw emotion that held itself captive practically begged her to unleash it all–the part of her that was clouded in something else. Someone else. Her blood boiled.
"I can trust that you haven't run into trouble since our last visit. I'll be sad to hear if I've missed out on any of the action." He smirked. Another look to Wendy at the mention of trouble. "But thankful enough if you've managed to avoid it."
Tigerlily regarded Peter with a calculative distance in her expression, her eyes briefly swivelling to Wendy, narrowing. It took her a dazed moment to recover her wits, to swallow her unease as the chieftess observed her. A silence ensued and Wendy almost thought she wasn't going to say anything at all, but then she finally spoke, turning back to Peter. She sighed. "It has indeed been a while." Her features softened slightly. "No trouble around here that I am incapable of handling myself."
Wendy was quiet, a heavy, solid sort of quiet that came with mental exhaustion. She couldn't help but notice the way Peter treated the woman. It hit her like a kick in the chest. There were hundreds of things she wanted to say to him, ranging from the unreasonable - how dare you, how dare you, how dare you - to logistical - why do you treat her differently - to something deep and strong and private, something that made her ache, but she knew there wasn't time for any of it.
Something in her dug deep, shoved it all aside to simply stay quiet. Considering the circumstances, she tried not to blame him too much, but it was difficult, and she wasn't fully successful at keeping the depth of her emotions off her face.
Outside, she heard the low chatter amongst the boys, protesting none too quietly that they had been forced to remain outside.
"The mermaids spoke to me about a force that isn't visible to the eye. A parasite that is sucking the life from the island and whatever lies beyond it." Tigerlily went on.
Peter didn't have an answer to her inquiry, nothing except a subtle shrug of his shoulders. "There is no gossip without secrets, and I most certainly have mine." He answered simply. "I have no control over any invisible force." He went on, scoffing out a laugh, his fingers grazing the nape of his neck, eyes trailing off.
"If I did, I'd wager that I could solve a lot of problems much easier." His tone betrayed no concern. "If you have suggestions, I'm all ears but the mermaids would be just as quick to drown you if you got too close. I don't place much faith in what they say."
He looked over Tigerlily again, one sweep with questions that he didn't outwardly express that made Wendy's throat tighten. "I didn't come here to talk about that."
Peter smiled despite himself, his hand hovering between them before snaking back into his pockets. Tigerlily was just out of his reach and never close enough at the same time.
"I've come to miss you, all business matters aside." There was an honest sincerity to the statement, a slight twinge of anxiety as the words fluttered from his lips to greet her. She'd been his friend once, and now more than ever he was farther and farther away, an unspoken piece of them missing somewhere, but one he reached out for and attempted to grasp.
What did a girl who had everything-at least everything that her side of life could offer, who only knew of certain traditions, endless seas and skies that plummeted to a flat and dark horizon-believe? What did she see beyond that, beyond chasing the ghost of who he used to be, beyond whatever stood after Neverland and its growing darkness?
Wendy could ask anything of her in the hope that she would answer, consider; and she could see her expression, half torn between puzzled and conflicted at the same time. Whether it was by her words or her expression that was so very like a time before her and Peter had been nothing more than children dancing around a fire and getting a bit too close with the expectation that it would go nowhere. After he'd saved the Indian's life for the umpteenth time.
Wendy turned to him.
There was a sense of mischief behind his eyes, a sort of pleasure that was derived from these games, the fact that while Tigerlily never admitted her affections for the prince of the Lost Boys, it was there, made him more determined to get it out, to chase her and yet never quite catch up.
Tigerlily smiled at him and it was the kind of smile that was so warm, so effortless, the way it tugged at her lips. She seemed to relax a little, her shoulders slumping the tiniest bit as she tilted her head in a playful sort of manner. She didn't say it back; that she had missed him. Still, her grin spoke volumes. "So I see that you didn't."
Her hesitance to welcome her old friend was easily cut through by his confession. "I share your sentiment, Peter Pan."
Wendy's heart plummeted, shattering about her feet. Something in her seemed to visibly unwind but she fought hard to keep a neutral expression. Wasn't it a good thing? That he had missed Tigerlily? It meant there was hope.
And yet.
Her hands made fists in the fabric of her trousers, and she sat completely still, trying to channel all of her nerves into the act of staring into the table between them. She felt distressed, unable to focus on anything other than the tangle in her throat before she stole another glance at the entrance.
"Wendy and I have just finished. Shall we go?" Tigerlily invited, beckoning with a gentle jerk of her perfect head. "The night is still young, and your visits are few and far between." She behaved as if it was normal, like he was not so different from the carefree and cheerful boy that they had known before, almost as if their initial conversation had never happened.
Relaying the message about Neverland spoken through the mermaids, while skeptical, the woman did not entirely place blame on him for his sudden changes, the island's sudden changes. Tigerlily had taken it in stride instead, showing an ounce of concern perhaps, a modest affection, but otherwise, she looked at Peter with the expression she always wore when he was around. Her faith remained unwavering.
He had a soft spot for the chieftess as well.
Wordlessly, he did as asked, settling down with her onto one of the quilts by the fire, with Wendy not far behind.