Temper the Soul

Chapter 26

By Zapenstap

Relena stayed in the backseat of the jeep Wufei was driving, slouching so that if there was gunfire, she would be protected, though it limited her vision. Heero sat on the back of the truck, getting ready to leap out as soon as they came to a stop. Relena couldn't stop looking at him. Heero was beautiful. She had always thought he had a rare, masculine beauty that was as pretty as it was powerful with his muscled body, brown hair and beautiful deep blue eyes. When this was over, they would go back home and love each other and forget about all of this. He was wearing a brown, khaki coat belonging to the army, and in it he carried two or three guns, extra bullets, a few explosives, and two knives. She had seen him putting it all together after they had had their discussion. All she had asked of him was that he would stay alive for her. All he asked of her was to let him do his job to the fullest and not hold him back. She understood, but she was a little afraid.

They pulled up to the manor with the other trucks, stopping just beyond the gates. A shout went up from the manor, followed by the first gunshots, aimed at them probably, though they were not close enough to be hit. Otherwise, it was a lovely manor house, desolate in the area, but complete with gardens along the walkway and a fountain just beyond.

"Stay here until the area is secure," Heero told her, and bent down to kiss her forehead.

She nodded. They had agreed to this.

Wufei stopped the truck and both Heero and Duo leaped out on either side, hefting heavy, two-handed guns. All the trucks parked in a line, several rows deep, and soldier leapt out of them by the hundreds, armed and racing for a set of two black wire gates. Four hundred additional soldiers climbed out with Heero and Duo, their booted feet pounding against the ground as they inched toward the manor house in a running crouch. Relena shrank back into the back seat as the sound of gunfire exploded in the area. The beautifully, hand-crafted black wire gate was practically torn off its hinges as Preventor soldiers swarmed into the courtyard. Relena covered her ears as shots rang out and men began screaming. She wasn't alone in the jeep. Wufei was still sitting up front, talking on the radio, commanding the troops.

Shouts rang out as more of Gardiner's people flooded the courtyard from outside. Relena tried to remember that they were four hundred strong and Gardiner could have only half that at most. They would win. It just depended on how long it took to contain the enemy. Hopefully, not long at all.

Strangely, Relena didn't feel that frightened. All her life she had conditioned herself not to be the sort of person who lost their head in a situation like this. It had served her when she met Heero and her life turned upside down. This wasn't the first time she had been in a battle, nor been exposed to gunfire. At least she wasn't targeted.

"You all right back there?" Wufei said calmly from the front, though shouts and gunshots almost drowned out his voice.

"Yes," she said, unable to see anything and wishing she could look out over the battle, but she promised Heero she would stay as safe as possible until it was safe to search the house for Damion. "Wufei? Are you angry that I came along?"

"No," he said. "You've got the strength or Heero wouldn't like you so much, and I respect Heero Yuy. Just don't do anything foolish. You're both prone to that."

She smiled a little smile. "Thank you, Wufei."

After what seemed like only a few rounds of fighting, everything became quiet. Wufei was talking into the radio again, but she couldn't make out what he was saying. Abruptly, he climbed out of the truck and waved a hand at her to do the same. Slowly, she rose, the wind catching her hair and blowing it into her eyes. The battle at the front door must be over. All of the opposition on the outside of the manor was subdued. Men were filing inside, reloading if they needed to.

"Sir," a young soldier said to Wufei. "There aren't as many here as we feared. The two hundred that escorted Gardiner here are less than half that number now. We should have 100 per cent containment momentarily."

"Anyone see Gardiner yet?" Wufei asked.

"No sir," the soldier replied.

"Prince Damion?"

"No sir."

Relena looked around for Heero, scanning the lines of soldiers waiting patiently for orders. There were about twenty prisoners, men from Gardiner's mob who had surrendered. The doors to the manor had been flung open, bodies on the stairs. She estimated maybe 40 people lay dead, largely on the other side, but a few of their own men. The soldiers outside were tending to the slain and the wounded.

"I don't see Heero," she said.

"He went inside," Wufei told her. "With Quatre. They were the first to enter. Trowa and Duo just went in together."

Her stomach fluttered. The first to enter, which meant the first targeted, the first killed if there was opposition on the other side. Taking deep breaths, she looked around, blinking in the morning sunlight, and tried not to think of anything horrible.

"Sir, first floor cleared, sir, over," someone said loudly over the radio.

"Roger that, Leif," Wufei said into the communicator.

"Can we go inside yet?" Relena whispered.

"It's not safe," he told her.

Together they walked closer to the manor as Wufei began issuing orders to the remaining soldiers still outside. There was still shouting and gunfire coming through the radio, but Relena tried not the listen. She also refused to think about anyone shooting down from the windows at them.

Relena waited nervously until the noise of battle through the radio died out. All was quiet for a several long moments.

"Wufei, " Trowa's voice came through. "All the floors are cleared. We have 98 per cent containment, fifteen prisoners and twenty of the enemy killed. We've lost five of our own."

Relena held her breath as Trowa paused suddenly, as if hesitating.

"Quatre's wounded."

"How badly?" Wufei asked.

"He'll survive. He got hit on the head and went unconscious. Heero's with him."

Relena let out her breath.

"Any sign of Gardiner or Prince Damion?" Wufei asked.

"We're still checking, but no, nothing," Trowa responded.

"All the rooms have been checked?" Wufei asked.

"Yes. There's still a storage cellar below and the attic above."

"All right," Wufei said. "We're coming inside."

"It's secure," Trowa assured them.

Relena strode in without hardly waiting, ignoring the surprised looks the soldiers gave her. She kept her head high and her face straight under their scrutiny. Inside the manor, Preventors lined the room, standing around in straight lines with their guns shouldered. On the left side of the room, bodies were being laid out and their faces covered. The enemy's fallen was separated from their own people. Relena didn't recognize any of the dead and avoided looking at them. On the right side of the room, fifteen prisoners waited on their knees with their hands tied behind their backs with twine. Each prisoner had two guards, one on either side. Relena didn't look at them either. In the back of the room were the wounded and the remaining soldiers. From just behind her, the first thing Wufei did was order the wounded that could be moved to be carried to the medical vans. Other soldiers were sent to fetch nurses and supplies from the trucks to tend those that could not be moved. Next, Wufei ordered the bodies of the enemy to be removed outside. Their own dead were to be carried out ceremoniously.

Through all of this, Relena's eyes searched for Heero. As people began to file out, she found him, kneeling on the ground behind a crowd of soldiers among the wounded. Quatre lay on his back at his feet, head turned and blonde hair strewn over his forehead and eyes. Trowa leaned against the wall behind him with the radio in his hand and Duo crouched on the other side of Quatre, his wrists on his knees.

When Relena entered with Wufei, Heero looked up and smiled at her. She smiled back and approached him quietly. Gracefully, he rose to his feet.

"How is Quatre?" she asked, but her mind was distracted with her husband, alive and well after the last battle. "Are you hurt?" She lifted a hand to his face as if she expected to find a cut there, but he turned his head away with a smile.

"Quatre will be all right. I'm fine."

Her eyes shimmered. "Can you promise me that when this is done I won't have to endure it anymore?" she asked.

"I hope so," he said, and took the fingers of her left hand in his, his thumb and forefinger playing with her wedding ring.  For the first time, she wholly believed him.

"Oh," Quatre said suddenly, blinking.

"Hey!" Duo cheered.  "Welcome back."

Quatre sat up slowly and rubbed his head.  "Were we successful?"

Anxiety seized Relena again.  She clutched at Heero's clothes urgently.  "Where is Gardiner?" she whispered. "And Damion?"

Heero shook his head and she knew he was wrapped up in dark, troubled thoughts. "I don't know."

Her stomach lurched. "Don't tell me he's dead and Gardiner has escaped, Heero."

"I said I don't know. Leif and some of the others are searching the house."

"What do the prisoners say?" Wufei asked.

"They don't know where Gardiner went," Duo said from the ground.  Quatre was still blinking.  "No one saw him leave, but they said two ladies came here recently. They don't know what happened to either of them accept that they both went to see Gardiner individually."

"Audrey and Julia," Relena breathed.

"And Prince Damion?" Wufei asked. He sounded far too calm.

"They said he was being held underground," Heero replied in almost the same tone. "A group of Taravren soldiers went to check." Heero looked away from them all, staring off into space with those blue eyes like he sometimes did. "The prisoners were afraid when we asked about his health, but they said they thought he was still alive."

Relena closed her eyes.

Nobody said anything.

*****

There had been movement above them for some time now, the trampling of feet and shouting. Damion muttered that he had never heard so much commotion during his time here, but it sounded like battle. Audrey did not say that she hoped it was Heero. For some reason, that seemed to infuriate him. He did speak occasionally aloud, perhaps to her and perhaps to himself, about wishing he had a quarterstaff or a knife or a gun. Her breath caught whenever he spoke like that. She could understand Damion being forced to kill someone in great need and wishing to fight for himself, but not being eager for it. It frightened her. His sense of revenge and hatred were so unlike him. She couldn't tell what was making him so furious. She knew that being in someone else's power, abused in someone else's power, might cause him to seek control over his life in extreme ways, but this felt more connected to what Gardiner had said about her, and what had happened to Manny.

That still choked her up. Manny really was dead. She had assumed it was true, but it was hard to stomach. She had come to love him after spending so much time in the palace, and her heart ached, but for her it was just a matter of letting go of a life she had valued. It was quite a different thing for Damion, who would have to rebuild practically everything about his life with that one man, his oldest and possibly only real friend, missing. She couldn't imagine Damion having to watch Manny being shot dead at his feet. What frightened her was that Damion continued to ignore it. He didn't seem angry or sad. He kept saying "Not now. Not now." By the way he spoke, it was like he expected to find Manny alive as soon as he could get out of this room, like everything that happened in this room was a dream that would disappear as soon as he was free.

Audrey tried not to fidget, even in the dark. Damion might pick up on her anxiety. Instead she kept her arms to her sides, listening to Damion pace the room like a panther in a cage with its tail lashing. If she could see anything, she was sure she would have been able to see his eyes gleaming like storm clouds and lightning.

She could tell he was agitated and it had to be because of Abel. Gardiner must have said something about her, something to cause Damion to retract his hand even when he reached for her. There was nothing she wanted more than to accept his love and let it wash over her, even if she was afraid, but he seemed unable to touch her now. He hadn't spoken in some time. She could tell he still loved her simply by the way she felt when he was close, but he wouldn't kiss her or hold her anymore and there was little she could say because she understood. She didn't let herself wonder for long what it meant, though. She wanted to see him safely home first. Alive.

"Why doesn't he come?" Damion muttered savagely. "Audrey? Audrey where are you?"

"Over here," she whispered, and felt him come near to her. Gingerly he took her hand, curling his fingers around her palm and leading her into the darkness. Unsteady, she walked along beside him until they came to the door.

"I wish this had some sort of handle," Damion muttered. "I will not be trapped in here forever." He said it with such grim determination she almost believed he would claw the door down.

"Would we escape?" she whispered.

"I need to kill Gardiner," he said, so casually, "but after that, yes. And if that guard is still alive I'll kill him too." He said it like it was nothing, like it mattered not at all that such an act would be murder, regardless of whether or not he was provoked into it.

"Damion, I know you're angry, but…"

"Don't start that again," he said harshly. "They deserve worse!"

She grabbed his arm. "You can't erase what wrong's been done to you by killing those who did it. That's revenge, not justice, Damion. You will be a king. Surely…"

"What's wrong with revenge?" he demanded, cutting her off.

She took several breaths, holding onto his arm with both hands. "It feeds off of hate," she said very quietly, shaken. "I don't want you to hate like that. I don't want you to become something like that." Black and angry and twisted inside, never satisfied… That sort of man on a throne would be terrifying. Revenge instead of justice, contemptible pity instead of mercy, anger instead of kindness. "Please," she whispered. "You're not like that."

For a moment he didn't say anything, as if contemplating what value her words had. "I'm sorry," he said in a cooler voice than she expected. "But I hate them. I want to kill him."

And he would. She knew it. In hot or cold blood, he would take his life.  He had never killed anyone before all of this. Lowering her head, she bit her lip, still holding onto his arm like she was his lady at a dance. The second he came across Gardiner with his hands loose, he would kill him. What would be the result? Would he feel disappointed that dealing death would not assuage his anger? Would he take pleasure in it? Both could be dangerous. Maybe it would make him want to cause his adversaries pain too, and humiliation, and fear, all the things that people like Gardiner fed on to make them feel more powerful, more secure…because they were not. "Don't do this, Damion," she pleaded. "I love you. You're better than this!"

The muscles in his arm flexed as he clenched his fists. "The only reason I have managed to stay sane is by imagining the things people like Gardiner deserve for hurting me!"

"It's not your fault!" she said. "And it's not your right to dispense justice. You're too partial. Don't dwell on causing suffering to other people. It's horrible when it happens! Listen to yourself. You're frightening me."

"I frighten you?" he said, sounding amazed. "You slept with him."

"Damion," she whispered, and felt hurt in spite of herself. "I'm sorry. That was a mistake and it meant nothing. I love you."

He jerked in her grasp, trembling. "You keep saying that. Don't. It doesn't feel the same here. This whole thing was different before and it was easy to forgive you then. It was all right. But now I keep thinking of you with him and I can't…" He pulled completely away.

"You can't love me anywhere if you continue to hate him so much," she said.

"I do love you," he said, but he said it viciously, like it had a dry taste. "But you're right. That's why I have to kill him."

"No," she said, shaking her head. Perhaps it was the pain in her voice that caused him to move closer to her.

His presence was comforting, but it was if he hardly seemed to hear her, or at least to understand. "I'll just kill him," he said quietly as if to no one at all, but then she felt his breath on her face, "and then we…" His hand touched her face softly, trailing down her neck to her collarbone. She stood frozen in one place, barely daring to breathe, wishing for this intimacy and fearing it at the same time. His hand slid down to the top of her left breast like he was looking for her heartbeat. She could hear him breathing heavily in the darkness. A moment later he seemed to realize his position, but instead of pulling away he gently palmed her whole beast, cupping it in his hand. She couldn't swallow or move or speak or do anything except stand there and try not to feel lightheaded. Her whole body was shaking like a leaf in a gale. She felt the thumb and forefinger of his other hand softly grasp her chin and stopped breathing when his lips came close to her mouth.

But he didn't kiss her. "You are frightened," he said sadly. He dropped both of his hands. "I'm sorry."

She opened her mouth to tell him it was all right, even though she was terrified, when there came a heavy banging on the other side of the door.

"Prince Damion!" a voice shouted. "Are you in there? Regent!"

They both stopped in shock. Relief flooded her body.  Rescue had come.

Damion turned from her abruptly. "I'm here!" he shouted back.

Audrey and never heard his voice sound more powerful or commanding. Mentally, she buried her fears and desires, everything that had just happened, and prepared herself to be his Queen, like a pillar or foundation from which he could draw power and support. That's what he would need right now. If his own soldiers had come to rescue him, the woman who would be the bride of their Prince could not appear scared or anxious or uncertain. If his authority was undercut by his condition after being here, she would need to compensate. Maybe that was why Julia had asked her to remain in her silk and jewelry.

The door was opened and Audrey could make out a bare sliver of light coming out from under the door at the top of the stairs. She could see several figures in the darkness, three or four, reaching their arms into the space of the doorway to help them through.

She accepted a proffered hand gratefully, feeling like she was being pulled out of a pit instead of a doorway. Damion took the hands of the people that reached for him too, clasping them like a handshake, but fended off their efforts to physically help him. He walked out his own, and in the dim light, she could barely make out the outline of his form. Her vision had never been so precious to her.

"Who are you?" Damion asked when the door to his prison was shut behind him.

"Leif, my Lord," said one of the figures, "Taravren soldier. We're all Taravren soldiers. You have command of us, sir, but we're under the command of Preventor Wufei Chang currently."

Damion nodded slowly. "Thank you for coming for me," he said with genuine gratitude.

The men turned their heads toward each other, exchanging glances. "There was nothing else we could do, Prince Damion," Leif said, sounding amazed. "It would dishonor ourselves and our entire country not to come for you."

"I've found a light," someone at the top of the stairs whispered.

A light flared to brightness overhead. Audrey shut her eyes, used to the darkness, and it took several minutes before she could see properly. But Damion shouted in something like pain, stumbling backward, his eyes visibly watering. The Taravren soldiers made exclamations of distress, reaching to help him. Leif yelled at the man above to turn off the light.

"No!" Damion said, his eyes shut tight and a hand pressed over them, not letting anyone touch him. "Leave it on," he said more calmly. They left it on. Slowly, he took his hand away and tried to open his eyes, but it was no good. They immediately filled with tears and he was forced to shut them again.

"Oh my god," Audrey whispered, and not for his vision.

Damion's face was covered in bruises. There were slash marks stained with blood on his coat. The bruises on his face weren't disfiguring, but they were ugly and purple, one that streaked under his left eye and another on the side of his head. His hair was disheveled, like Heero's at its worst, and the chafing on his wrists was worse than she had first thought. Against her will, sadness enveloped her and tears welled up in her eyes.

"Damion, your injuries…" she whispered.

"I'm fine," he said, his eyes still closed.

Leif and the other three soldiers were staring at their Prince in disbelieving horror, like they couldn't make sense of what they saw. There was also a softening about their eyes, like they were just realizing how human he was. One of the soldiers looked like he wanted to break something from the way his jaw was set. Leif just looked shocked. Audrey knew these men must be some of the most loyal to Damion, especially since they came all this way and then searched for him personally. She knew there would be others who would think less of him for this.

Audrey took deep breaths and moved between the soldiers. Damion let her touch him, though he fended the men off. She watched him anxiously, wishing to see his eyes more than anything, but he clearly could not open them. It wasn't even a bright light. "Just give it some time," she said. "You've been locked in the dark for awhile."

He nodded. "Help me upstairs."

"You can't fight Gardiner blind," she whispered in his ear. "Be glad you are not."

Slowly they made their way upstairs, using the railing a great deal. Audrey warned him of the first two steps and he made the rest on his own. His soldiers ran ahead of them, casting worried glances over their shoulders. Audrey could tell Damion was beyond frustrated, rescued by his own people and unable to even look at them, unable to see. As they reached the top of the stairs, he had managed to open his eyes a crack, looking at everything through a watery squint. Those lovely gray pupils still shone under that waterfall of tears, and he kept wiping those away and taking deep breaths.

When they came to the door Damion straightened, blinking his eyes rapidly until he could open them completely. They still teared up, but he managed to keep them open. Even with the bruises he was beautiful and her heart stopped to watch him. The bruises didn't look that horrifying now. It was mostly just the shock of seeing them. He turned to her with a creased brow. "Is it that terrible?"

"I can't believe they hated you so much," she said. "But it's not really too bad. We can't let the cameras see you."

He smiled at her and then turned to face the door, setting his face. His eyes flashed like sunlight on the blade of a sword.

That smile comforted her, but she could still sense a deadly rage about him, increased by the reaction of his soldiers to his condition.

When they stepped into the foyer, the lights were brighter and Damion flinched again, shielding his eyes with his hand, but he stepped out into the crowd with proud steps, Audrey walking just beside, just as proud and erect. She faced the crowd with her frostiest look, not unkind, but the sort of look that commanded respect, her spine straight and her arms hanging free at her sides.

Heero, standing by Relena and the other gundam pilots stared at them with open mouths.

"Oh, Damion," Relena said, taking a step forward. "Your face. Are you…?"

He raised a hand to halt her and Relena stopped ten paces from him and only two from Heero, looking surprised. "I'm fine," Damion replied carefully and quietly. "Thank you for rescuing me."

For almost a minute there was silence in the room as Audrey took normal breaths. Damion didn't smile at anyone, or look happy or relieved. Nor did he look fragile or in pain. To her he looked tired, strung out and barely able to contain a raging fury, but that was only because she had spent several hours with him already. One thing was clear. He looked nothing like the Damion anyone remembered.

Audrey caught the moment when Damion suddenly locked eyes with Heero, the way they squared off in an almost challenging way. She wondered if it was because Damion was embarrassed at having to be rescued by Heero…again. Heero just looked stunned, his lips parting slightly as they stared at one another, and for a brief moment, Audrey thought they looked exactly the same. Damion looked away first, but he turned his head coolly. Heero looked baffled.

"Who here is a soldier from Taravren?" Damion called out. Almost half the room stood, turning their attention on him as one. He nodded at them slowly. "Thank you for what you've done today," he said sincerely. "For all you have done for Taravren these past months." Gratified, the soldiers nodded at one another, smiling and looking extraordinarily pleased. Damion caught their attention again with a glance. "My entire guard was killed. I'll need a new one, if anyone is interested." Dozens of men looked up with something almost like excitement, or like people who had received a particular honor or distinguishing praise. Whispers began almost as soon as he was finished, but Damion raised another hand to shush them. "Understand," he said quietly. "That my old guard was completely destroyed. I know some of you may consider it a high honor to guard the King of Taravren and it has always been so, but there is a very real danger." The whispers died down, but hope and excitement still shone on many faces. "I will speak with those of you who are interested another time." He smiled at them. "Again, thank you. Resume what you were doing."

After a moment of silence, people began moving slowly, carrying bodies outside, tending the wounded and performing the other various tasks probably appointed by Wufei.

As soon as he was no longer the center of attention, a cold mask settled over Damion's face. Deliberately, he moved toward Heero, looking as if he was switching gears. Audrey practically ran to catch up, her heart beating wildly in her chest. He had a murderous look on his face.

"Wait, Damion," she said. "It's over."

"It's not over," he said darkly. "Heero!"

Heero turned, Relena again at his side. "Damion," he began. "We were worried. It's good to…"

"Where is Gardiner?" Damion demanded quietly but firmly. Without stopping or waiting for an answer, he reached inside Heero's coat. Audrey caught a glimpse of the gun Damion was aiming for before Heero caught Damion's arm almost automatically, turning aside and twisting sharply. Damion sucked in air through his teeth and anger flashed in his eyes.

It took a second for Heero to realize what he had done and hurriedly release Damion's arm, but by then it was too late. Damion hit back, elbowing Heero sharply in the side. Heero gasped, falling sideways and doubling over, perhaps unprepared in his shock and perhaps because he schooled himself not to retaliate. Like a snake, Damion snatched the gun from Heero's belt and began loading it as if he had been using one for years.

"Heero!" Relena cried, half kneeling to catch and steady him. She looked up at Damion in astonishment. "Damion, what are you doing?"

"Sorry," Damion said blithely, turning the gun over in his hands. "Where is Gardiner, Heero?"

Audrey looked around nervously. Most of the soldiers were outside, but those that were left were watching with open mouths and stunned faces. If Gardiner was anywhere in the manor, Damion would kill him, captured or not. "Damion," she said. "Everyone is…"

"Don't worry about it," Damion said without even looking up. "They will obey if I tell them not to speak of this. Heero, where is Gardiner?"

Heero didn't look at all frightened. The tone he took was exactly wrong and Audrey breathed in sharply the second he began to speak. "Put the gun away, Damion. You can't kill him."

Damion's head snapped up and he dropped the gun to the ground by his feet. "Can't." He said it curtly, biting off the words. Holding out his arms, he smiled a bitter, angry smile. "Can't?" His eyes were still teary from the lights, but he shouted. "Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?"

Relena's eyes were shimmering with confusion and fear and sympathy, but she looked angry too. "Damion, how can you talk to us like that? We've been worried sick about you! What is wrong with you?"

"He's angry," Audrey explained hurriedly in a hushed tone, tears in her eyes as she stared at their startled, hurt and angry faces. "He's been tortured and abused…"

Damion's face looked like he had been hit as he whirled to stare at her. "Shut up, Audrey!" he shouted, and she saw tears in his eyes before he squeezed them shut and ducked his head. She couldn't speak, stunned as Heero and Relena that he would say that to her. But Damion was out of his dark cage now and nothing was all right like he thought it would be. "Tell me where I can find Gardiner, Heero," he demanded with a bit of a pleading tone now, like that goal was the only thing he had left. Heero said nothing, remaining blank-faced and imposing, like a wall. Damion's eyes watered or teared up as he shouted; it was difficult to tell which. "I'm not doing this for me! I'm doing this for Manny! Where can I find Gardiner?"

"Killing Gardiner won't bring Manny back."

Damion just stared at him.

"Manny's dead, Damion," Heero said in a monotone.

Damion swallowed. There were definitely tears in his eyes, which looked more red now than gray. "I know," he whispered. "I saw it."

"We buried him," Heero said just as plainly. "I'm sorry." There was almost no emotion in it at all, to the point of being insulting.

"We're so sorry," Relena added with more genuine sympathy and concern. Gently, she tried to touch Damion's wrist. "Please understand that we…"

Damion wrenched his hand away almost jerkily, staring at Heero as if he was some sort of demon. "Why won't you tell me where Gardiner is?" he demanded.

"We didn't catch him," Heero said. "We think he left before we even got here. Maybe just before."

Damion just stared at him for a moment. Then a look stole over him, like a sudden epiphany or realization. He looked up, his eyes widening, and let out a small laugh that sounded like a choke. "Julia," he gasped, and then clenched his teeth together in a look of pure fury. "Julia!" He sounded so angry and betrayed that Audrey was afraid he might turn violent again. Desperately she tried to touch him, but he pulled away roughly.

"You can't kill him," Heero repeated. "I won't let you. It would be a mistake. You need to…"

Damion's eyes blazed as he turned his attention on Heero. "You don't get to tell me what to do. And you don't get to tell me you're sorry."

Heero opened his mouth.

"You're not my mentor," Damion said, cutting him off. "And you're not my friend. You're not even my peer. You didn't care about Manny and if you ever cared about me, I couldn't tell." Heero looked stricken, shutting his mouth suddenly, looking stunned. "Don't pretend you ever tried to be friends with me. I don't understand you and you don't understand me so let's just leave it at that, okay? I've noticed you're socially challenged so let me give you a few tips. Just for your information, you don't come to a friend's home after his father has died and squabble with your girlfriend about your sex life. That could have waited. You don't leave in the middle of a party your friend and host needed you to be at to have sex with your girlfriend either. You don't hit your friend in the face in his own home when he is proposing to his bride and you don't leave your grieving friend without saying goodbye. And when his best friend dies you don't bury him on a some God-forsaken, forgotten plain and say you're sorry!"

There were tears in Relena's eyes. "It was my idea to bury Manny, Damion. We knew it would be hard for you, but there was nothing else…"

Damion clenched his teeth and just shook his head at her before looking back at Heero. "I think it's completely weird what you told me about Audrey, but if you were curious, you were right. You know, you were supposed to be there for me, but it might have helped if you maybe tried to have one conversation with Audrey instead of just assuming that she would eventually love me like everybody else thought just because I was a nice guy. I don't think you've ever even talked to her before." Damion took a deep breath, his eyes glittering with tears and anger, hurt and grief so deep it was like an open wound. "Thank you for coming to rescue me," he said with sincerity. "I appreciate that, I do, but stick to soldiering, because you're not very good at friendship. I'm a Prince. I'm battered and maybe I've had my ass kicked more times than you, but I am a Prince and in about a week I will be a King. You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do. And don't talk about Manny. You understood him less than you did me."

Audrey couldn't stop her eyes from filling up with tears or abate the revulsion in her stomach. She twisted her head between Heero and Relena and Damion, trying to convey her apologies on his behalf, mouthing in a mute voice that he was just very angry and taking it out on them. Heero wasn't looking at her, though. He was staring at the ground, breathing like he had lost all of his senses and looking somewhere between angry, indignant, and ashamed.

"Jesus," Duo whispered.

Clenching his teeth, Damion turned from all of them, looking back over the room. He looked like a man who had had his heart cut open, and even more sad and furious now that he said such horrible things without thinking. But if it bothered him that much, he still merely swallowed it and lifted his head. Stopping in the middle of the room, Damion had the attention of almost everyone. "I'm not myself," he said, but he said it to the soldiers, not to Heero. "Under the law, if Gardiner is found, he is to be brought to the throne. Under the law, there's a death sentence on his head, and also the standard reward," he paused. "For treason."

It was like all the air had been sucked out of the room or turned into water. Nobody drew breath. "Anybody caught aiding a fugitive guilty of treason," Damion continued, "is also guilty by association under the law. If Julia Bureun is found, she too, is to be brought to the throne on the charge of treason."

Audrey's felt strangled. The punishment for treason was always death, and since Gardiner was a citizen of Taravren, he was indeed guilty, and if Julia had aided in his escape, she was too, under the law. The only thing that could save either of them from such a judgement was a royal pardon from the King of Taravren. And there was no King or Taravren, and wouldn't be for another week. But when Damion became king, would he pardon anyone, even Julia? Could he?

Julia, what have you done?

"Damion," she called out, biting her lip.

He turned, looking cold and warn and grief-stricken. "I'm tired," he said, and the way he said it made him sound like he was on the verge of collapse. Maybe he was. "Take me home. I just want to go home."

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