Note: This fic is rated R for a good reason. This is a revised version of 'Falling Tears'. None of these characters are mine! There will be an eventual Legolas/Aragorn pairing in this fic. POVs are marked with *********. Elvish speech is in ''. Major angst!!! Sorry, I'm drawing out the angst even more. Takes place about a week later. Can anyone figure out who Legolas is speaking of? Chocolate coins to those who get it right!

What Is Not Meant

Part 5

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Legolas
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I lay on the ground face-first, with a rough hand over my mouth. My eyes were closed, as silent tears ran down my face, while it happened again. My arms ached terribly from the painful grasp they were held in, above my head and back.

The dirt pressed against my bare body, as I merely lay there. It would be over soon, I knew. It always was. I briefly wondered how I would explain the bruises this time.

I know Aragorn's worried about me. He tells me I'm pale and thin all the time, and asks what's wrong. I can't tell him. He presses me for answers as to why I'm suddenly withdrawing into myself.

A cry of pain left my lips, and I was struck across the face for it, as the hand temporarily left my mouth.

How easy it would be to scream for help. But I can't. Even though I know that the Fellowship is breaking, and it isn't because of me. That was the reason to keep it secret, then, and now I say nothing because I am ashamed.

I could fight him, but Boromir has the advantage right now. He hurts me so bad. But it's not his fault.

Frodo has a wary expression on his face all the time now. Even Merry and Pippin do not jest very often anymore. Sam takes care of Frodo as best as he can.

Gimli says nothing, but his eyes are troubled.

Aragorn is more focused on finding out what is wrong with me, and I've told him more than once that it was none of his concern.

Boromir's corruption comes and goes, and I do my part to keep him from going insane.

As for myself, I am just numb. Aragorn would laugh at me if he knew, I am certain. Most Elves are promiscuous, after all. But I am not most Elves, though I have had my share of lovers in the past. All female, even though Elves do not frown on single-sex relationships.

I feel no hatred toward Boromir, only the aching numbness and pity. He's told me several times that he does not want to hurt me, and I knew he meant it. But he forgets everything when the Ring takes over, much like Men do after getting intoxicated. Boromir never remembers my cries, my pain, or what he is doing until it's over. And then he's sorry.

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Flashback Four Days Ago

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I knew I had to speak to Boromir again. So when he went out on patrol, I went with him, until we were a good distance away from the others.

"You still want me, don't you?" I'd stated, rather than asked.

Boromir nodded. "I am cursed," he told me harshly. "Your nearness drives me insane." His hands reached out and grabbed my arms, before he brutally kissed me. I froze and did nothing, until he pulled away, and buried his face in his hands.

I sighed, and made my offer. "If you need relief, turn to me. Look not to any of the others for it." My voice was calm and composed. I wish that I felt that way inside.

He looked at me in shock. "Why?" he asked, not understanding.

"I would rather you hurt me than the little ones or Gimli. Aragorn, I know, can take care of himself," I said. "I am much more experienced than any of them for I am nearly three thousand."

"You would let me… God, Legolas… You are much more than a whore," Boromir snapped angrily. "You are an Elven Prince, kind, beautiful, and noble."

I said words that I knew would get through to him. "Boromir, if you do not release it on me, you will hurt someone else against their will. I will not fight you, unless you prove to be cruel."

That was a lie; I would not fight him, even if he was cruel. The safety of the rest of the Fellowship was more important than one Elf.

***************

Present Day

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This cannot continue anymore today, for the others are probably wondering where we are. As if he disagrees, Boromir starts over again. His hand leaves my mouth, finally.

'Please… no more,' I whispered in Elvish.

The words meant nothing to Boromir, for he did not understand them. His hand automatically covered my mouth hard again, forcing me to remain silent.

But the words meant everything to the one that I did not know was watching, as I lay with my right cheek pressed against the dirt.

*************
Boromir
*************

I pulled myself off of Legolas, and he lay there. I released his hands, and winced when I saw the bruises on them.

I'd done it again, in spite of my determination not to.

Legolas sacrificed himself to me, and I'd been weak enough to accept.

I pulled my clothes on hastily. I could not look at the Elf.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Legolas coughed hard. "I know."

God, he was so strong. I felt awe just to look at him. He could easily fight me off, but he did not.

I didn't understand this, and I was tired of hurting him so much.

I walked away, leaving him in a crumpled heap.

Maybe I should just end it, I thought. But suicide was betrayal of the self. So I could not, even though I knew that this secret was going to be exposed very soon.

Aragorn had questioned me sharply over what I had done to Legolas.

I'd answered, "Nothing."

That was a lie, of course, and Aragorn knew it for the lie it was. But he had no proof- yet.

I miserably went back to the camp where everyone else was, hiding my guilt. Then, I realized that Aragorn was not there. A sinking feeling came over me. If he found Legolas, he was really going to let me have it.

But this secret is not meant to be kept.

I've seen it in Aragorn's eyes.

He loves the Elf, who is not exactly immune to him.

If this whole thing had never happened, the two of them might have told each other of their feelings and they would be happy.

Maybe I could set things right. I could tell Legolas of Aragorn's feelings for him, before I leave. I cannot stay here any longer.

None are safe while I am here.

And the secret will be broken.

*************
Aragorn

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I couldn't believe what I'd seen.

Legolas and Boromir? That made no sense to me, as I watched them.

Pain was in my heart. I waited too long, I thought, as I watched Boromir take Legolas a few times.

In spite of myself, I was curious and intrigued. I silently crept closer, and froze at what I now saw.

Legolas' hands were being held back by Boromir, who also had his hand over my Elven friend's mouth. Silent tears were running down his face as he just lay there, motionless, with his eyes clenched shut.

'Please… No more,' Legolas whispered.

My fears crystallized, and rage took over.

If Boromir hadn't stood, dressed himself, and left, after saying something to Legolas, I would have killed him. As soon as Boromir was out of sight, I went over to my Elven friend.

'Why didn't you tell me?' I demanded harshly.

Legolas turned even paler, as he looked at me. 'Tis none of your concern, Aragorn. Leave me be.'

I scowled. 'The hell it isn't, Legolas! How long has he been raping you?' I shouted.

'It's not his fault,' Legolas yelled. 'The Ring makes him do it. If I hadn't offered myself, he would have done it to Frodo or one of the other Hobbits. Better me than them!' My nude friend turned away.

I saw his ripped clothes laying nearby, and grabbed them. I thrust the torn leggings and shirt at Legolas, while I thought on what he'd said.

Yes, it would probably have been worse if Boromir had attacked one of the little Hobbits. But I could not agree with Legolas letting himself be used like this. He took his clothes, but merely held them.

'When did you turn into a whore?' I snapped. 'Did you like it or something? Because what Boromir did is sick. Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I wouldn't believe you?'

My rage was for Boromir, but I was taking it out on the Elf, as well.

An icy glare was given to me. 'I knew that if I told you, not only would you believe me, but you would kill him. The Fellowship would have broken sooner.'

'The Fellowship was already breaking, ever since we all left 'Lorien,' I pointed out. 'God, Legolas. I can't stand for anyone to hurt you. Not even a kinsman.'

His fresh bruises were growing larger, and purpling. Legolas finally looked at me again. 'Why do you care so much?' he snapped.

I knelt in front of him and looked into his eyes.

Anger… Pain… Self-loathing… Those emotions were what I saw.

'Because you are my friend, Legolas.' I hated lying like that. But if I told him the truth, it would drive him away.

'Stay out of my affairs, Aragorn,' Legolas said coldly. Hurt flashed in his eyes briefly. 'I need to be alone.'

'That's the last thing you need,' I retorted. 'When did this start?'

'That day…' Legolas finally said. 'The day you found me in the snow.' His voice was numb, as if he cared no longer of who knew. 'I tried to fight him, but I could not. He overpowered me.'

I scowled. 'Why did you say nothing?'

Legolas glared at me again. 'Remember what you told me? 'I would not have an old friend fight someone I need to befriend.' Does that sound familiar to you?'

I could see he was weakening. A glimmer of tears was in his eyes again.

'You have… you have to get along with him, so he won't challenge you over Gondor. It doesn't matter what happens to me. Gondor is your birthright, as Mirkwood could be mine, Aragorn. I do not wish for the two of you to fight,' Legolas said in a low voice. 'Besides, Elves are promiscuous.'

I sighed and took him in my arms carefully. 'Legolas, I do not want you to sell yourself for my sake. I care too much for that to happen. It matters to me.'

Legolas stated, 'I'm just a whore. I let him use me, thinking to save the rest of you and hoping it might lessen the tension between you and him.' I heard the self-loathing in his voice.

'That made it worse, Legolas. I knew that he had done something to you, and your refusal to say anything about it made it worse.'

He rested his head against my chest. 'Do not tell the others I am a whore. Especially the dwarf.'

I moved my hands to his face and cupped it. 'You are no whore,' I said firmly. 'Your heart was in the right place, though I wish you had told me. I will not tell the others if you desire it to be so.'

I felt that Legolas had a right to say whether I told the others or not. It was his secret, not mine.

Once again, Legolas' masks were slipping away, as he looked at me. Uncertainty was in his eyes. 'He will come for me again,' he told me.

'Boromir will not have you again, unless you truly desire it,' I vowed. 'Do you?'

Legolas shook his head. 'I desire another who I cannot have.'

Jealousy went through my heart again. 'Why do you not tell her?' I questioned.

'He is a Man,' Legolas softly said. 'And he does not even want me, though I have long desired him.'

'Then he cannot be worthy of your affections,' I said.

Legolas sighed. 'No, I am unworthy of him. Not only is he strong and brave, but he cares for everyone except himself, and protects what is his.' A wistful note was in his voice on the word 'his'.

I smiled a little. 'You desire to be his?' In spite of my pain, it was rather cute.

He nodded.

'Who is he?' I asked, wanting to make certain that this other Man was worthy.

'Someone that you know very well,' Legolas told me. 'You never go anywhere without him.'

To be continued