It had been a few weeks since Levi's surgery and she was finding it hard to cope with the fact she hadn't been able to do anything for herself. She was physically healing well but the emotional impact had hit her hard and Levi would take it out on everyone and everything.
"Morning" shouted Arizona with a smile as she let herself into Levi's apartment. Since Levi hadn't been able to move much on her own between her, April and Meredith they all took shifts to make sure Levi had eaten and kept her company.
"Levi, where are you?" Shouted Arizona while tidying around.
"Hi" Levi said as she made her way slowly out of the bedroom.
"It's 2pm. Why are you still in bed?" Arizona frowned.
"Well, I was going for a 9am run but then I remembered I can just about walk!" Levi said sarcastically.
"Wow. This again." Arizona whispered under her breath.
"You've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Meredith said in the next few weeks you should be able to get back to work, you've just got to be positive." Explained Arizona.
"Positive? You know I've heard stories of how 'positive' you were when Callie decided to chop your leg off" snapped Levi.
Arizona stopped what she was doing and just stared at Levi.
"I'm not doing this with you. I'm not going to stand here and let you compare you having to get a little help for a few weeks to me losing my leg. Yes, I was so fucking miserable when I lost my leg and I ruined my marriage and I wasn't positive and it cost me a lot, so as someone who loves and cares about you, I'm telling you, being positive will save you a lot of misery in the long run."
"I'm not going to go out and cheat on you if that's what you're worried about" Levi replied.
"You know what, fine." Arizona grabbed her bag and stormed towards the door. "Don't come crying to me when you need help, I'm trying and you just keep pushing me away. I'm done."
"fine" Levi shouted as Arizona slammed the door.
'Fuck' Levi said as she fell back onto the sofa. Levi hated how she felt and hated how she was treating everyone but she couldn't help it. She was mad that she was so stupid to know those guys had guns in that house and still walked in thinking she was this big hero. She hated how she put everyone at the hospital in the position that if something did go wrong and she wouldn't have made it that person would blame themselves. April for not being quick enough to figure out how far the bullet had gone in, If Meredith grey somehow got it wrong in surgery or if Arizona blamed herself for Levi going for that walk that day. She didn't want anyone to take blame for her mistake and it made her angry.
It had been a couple of hours and Levi had just woken up from a nap. She grabbed her phone and decided to text Arizona.
'Hey. I'm Sorry. I need you and I'm sorry.'
It took seconds for Arizona to reply.
'I will be over with takeout after my shift. Ly.'
Levi smiled and decided she would try tidy around the apartment a little and drag herself into the shower and at least try make an effort.
"Hello?" shouted someone as Levi was mid shower. "Levi?"
Levi climbed out the shower and wrapped a towel around her and popped her head around the door.
"oh, Sarah, hey" Levi said confused at why she was there.
"Sorry, I came over to see how you were and the door was unlocked and I thought something had happened so I just let myself in sorry"
"Hey, no its fine, thanks for coming to check." Levi said while grabbing another towel to dry her hair.
"Sorry, I'll leave you to it"
"No. no its fine, company is nice. Sit down, do you want a drink"
"How about you sit down and I'll make the drink" Sarah suggested.
"Okay sounds good"
"So how you feeling?" Asked Sarah.
"Honestly, not good. I just feel yuk and just not myself." Explained Levi.
"To be fair to you. Your body has been through a lot and its traumatic to even think about being shot never mind living through it"
"You know you're the only person who hasn't told me to 'just be positive' and I know everyone means well but"
"Well, my next line was actually going to be 'but be positive' " smirked Sarah.
"Oh god, no!" laughed Levi.
"I've missed that laugh" Sarah said while grabbing Levi's hand.
"I've missed my laugh too"
They both just stared at each other, maybe for a second to long and Sarah began to move closer towards Levi.
"I missed you." Stated Sarah.
Levi was caught in the moment and moved closer to Sarah and just as their mouths were about to touch there was a knock on the door.
"Hey! its April! I brought soup"
Levi jumped up in panic and confusion, not knowing where her head was at and why she had almost just kissed Sarah. She shook her head in disbelief before looking at Sarah.
"I'm sorry, that shouldn't have happened."
"Nothing happened, its fine. I'll see myself out." Sarah nodded.
"Sarah? Hi." Greeted April as Sarah opened the door to leave.
As April stepped into the flat, she looked at Levi and noticed her eyes started to fill with tears.
"Levi? What's up? Did that bitch say something?"
"No, no. it's me. I'm a mess. I've just nearly kissed her. I was like one second away from making the worst mistake of my life." Cried Levi.
"Oh Levi. Why, what happened?"
"Nothing, she was just being nice and wasn't trying to tell me to be happy and I just got caught up in it all and then thankfully, you knocked."
"Well, you technically didn't do anything so" said April.
"April even you don't believe that, I was about to do it. If you hadn't knocked, we probably would have ended up in bed together and I have to own up to that, I have to tell Arizona."