The plane ride from Seattle to Rhode Island was a full 5 hours of entertaining a toddler. Emma was great, but her energy was through the roof. She was excited to be on a plane and even more excited that she would be seeing her family soon. I kept her entertained the whole time with toys, games, an iPad at one-point but mostly she just wanted to talk and talk and talk. She held her turkey hand on her lap the entire plane ride excited to show it to her grandparents and Lexi. I still hadn't shared with her that we would be seeing her dad and other grandparents at the end of the trip. I wanted it to be a surprise and couldn't wait to see the look on her and Derek's face when they finally got to see each other in person again after so long.

She made a list of all the things she wanted to do while we were in Rhode Island. They included: swinging on her grandparents swing set that they built her last time we came to town, make a cooking video with Lexi, go see the Christmas trees and go visit the dog park. She way dying for a puppy so badly but until Derek and I figured out our living situation and schedules that would have to wait.

When we eventually did get in, Susan and Thatcher picked us up from the airport. They were over the moon to see their granddaughter and Emma was so happy to be with them. She was basking in the fact that she is their only grandchild and is therefore completely spoiled. She showed them her turkey hand which they immediately put on the fridge as soon as we got back to their place. Emma and I stayed busy with Susan and Thatcher for most of the week until Lexi came into town. She was living in New York with Mark near Derek and was going to school at Columbia. Emma was helping Susan prepare dinner when Thatcher told Emma he had a surprise for her.

He told us all that it was a secret and that they would be back in a few hours. I used this time to join Susan in the kitchen and catch up on everything going on in our lives.

"I think you hit the jackpot when it comes to kids. She has such a good spirit." Susan told me as she prepared the chicken cutlets.

I smiled as I pulled out a wine glass from their cabinet and poured a cab into my glass.

"She does. She is very chatty these days. I hope she isn't driving you nuts."

"Oh please. That's my granddaughter. I can't get enough of her."

I took a sip of my wine enjoying being back on the East Coast. I love Seattle but this is where I started my family, and it will always feel like home to me in a sense.

"Can I ask you something a little… well a little personal?" Susan asked looking up at me to make eye contact.

"Sure" I shrugged.

"You and Derek. What's going on there?" She asked me as she went back to butterflying the chicken and seasoning it.

I played with the rim of my glass not knowing exactly what to say. It was a loaded question and definitely a loaded answer.

"We're friends and we're co-parenting." I told her dismissively

Susan nodded and put the pan of chicken in the fridge to season for a couple of hours. She leaned above the stove and looked me over as I sat on the bar.

"Are you seeing anyone out in Seattle? Do you know if he's seeing anyone in New York?"

I shrugged "I barely have a single second to myself let alone time to date. I don't think Derek's seeing anyone." I didn't even want to think about the possibility. It would hurt too badly.

"Candidly, I think you two are both fools." Susan told me honestly. I opened my mouth to protest but she put her hand up to stop me.

"I know I'm not your mother and I know this really isn't my place, but Emma needs both her parents, and you need support. Meredith honey, we love you. You shouldn't have to do this all on your own. You're only 25 years old."

I couldn't help my eyes welling up for a second, but I mostly felt anger. "You're right. It isn't your place. I wish you could have had an epiphany like this while my mother was raising me by herself across the country while my dad started a brand-new life with you. Derek may not physically be here but he's a dad to Emma. He calls her every chance he can, and he flies out to see her. It's not perfect but it's a hell of a lot more than I ever had."

Susan sighed "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry." She told me.

"I'm going to go study." I told her

"Meredith. Wait. I didn't mean-"

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." I told her and stalked up the stairs.

Once I made it upstairs, I felt like I needed to vent or scream or just break down. Susan had no right and no place trying to insert her two cents into what is a very complicated situation. We would be staying here another two days and Thanksgiving is tomorrow, so I just need to calm down so that Emma doesn't sense that anything is amiss. I don't usually do this, but I felt like I needed to talk to my best friend.

The line rang a few times before I heard his voice come on the line "Mer- is everything okay?" Derek asked somewhat panicked. It wasn't like me to call him especially not out of the blue. If I needed to talk, I usually texted him first.

"Derek" I replied.

"Hey, are you okay? Is Emma, okay?" he asked rushed

"Is now an okay time?" I asked him

"Yeah. Yeah. I just scrubbed out of an aneurysm surgery."

"How was it?"

"It was massive and amazing and so smart. We saved the guy's life and I got to hold the clamp for a number of hours throughout the surgery."

"Oh, that's great."

"Meredith, what's wrong. I can tell somethings going on. You voice is…off"

"Do you love me?" I asked him pointedly

"You know I do." He told me without hesitation.

"Can you say it?"

"I love you, Meredith Grey. I always have. I always will."

I took a deep breath but didn't say anything playing with the hem of my top.

"Mer- can you please tell me what's going on?"

"I'm at my dad's house. It just….It brings up a lot of things sometimes."

"Okay" Derek replied patiently waiting for me to go on.

"Susan has concerns about how Emma is being raised."

Derek sighed loudly "I'm not surprised." He said and I could almost see him running his hands through his hair.

"Why?" I asked.

"Hold on a second. I just need a bit of privacy. Bear with me." He told me and I could hear him shuffling around and closing a door behind him.

"I found an on-call room. Are you there?" he asked me.

"Still here."

"My parents have concerns too, especially, Ma." He confessed.

"But why? Emma is fine, she's happy. We're happy too. Everything is freaking sunshine and unicorns. Everything is perfect." I told him sarcastically. My façade was faltering. What Susan said struck a nerve because my life is exhausting. Dealing with my mother is exhausting. Dealing with school is exhausting and raising a child is exhausting and when you put all three together without any sort of help, it just spells disaster. I know Emma deserves more – but I can't be the only one willing to bend.

"Meredith" Derek said softly

"Everybody wants to tell me how I do everything the wrong way, but no one offers to pick up any of the slack they always seem to find."

"I know. Meredith, listen to me. You just have to hang in there for six more months and then I'll be in Seattle. Last time I was in town, I found some land. It's out of my price range right now – but oneday….. Oneday we will live together in a house I build us, and we will go to work together and save lives together and then we'll come home, and we'll help our kids with homework, and we'll have dinner together as a family and everything will be much less complicated than it is now."

I couldn't help the tears that were falling "How did everything get so screwed up Derek?"

"I don't know."

"Me either" I confessed

"Just focus on the good. It's Thanksgiving and our daughter exists, and you just have to get through the next two days and then we'll be together. Everything will be better by Friday."

"Friday" I breathed out "I should go. I kind of freaked out on Susan and I don't want it to make things weird when Lexi gets here tonight."

"You go. I'll be working on post ops all night if you need anything."

"Thanks Derek"

"You don't have anything to thank me for." He told me sincerely.

I closed the phone and went downstairs to talk to Susan. I wasn't fully ready to forgive her for her comments, but I did want to enjoy the rest of our time in Rhode Island before we left for New York. Susan and I made amends just in time to see Emma run through the door yelling excitedly.

"Mommy! You'll never believe it!" she yelled, and I picked her up happily. Her blue eyes were dancing and the look on her face is something I mentally committed to memory. Before I could ask her what she was so happy about, my dad came through the door with a sheepish look on his face and beside him was a dog.

"I have a puppy!" Emma yelled out.

I gave my dad a look that said it all.

"Well, before you get upset… I told Emma that this is our puppy that she can take care of when you come to visit."

"So, this is the big surprise that you wouldn't even tell me about." Susan said to my dad. I couldn't tell if she was mad or not, but my dad smiled at her.

"Look how happy she is." He said gesturing to my daughter.

She was on the ground playing with the new dog giggling and the dogs hyperness. I was happy to see my daughter so happy.

"Well, what shall we name him?" Susan asked moving to the floor to pet the dog along with Emma.

"Sweetie, what would you like to name him?" Thatcher asked Emma.

She looked thoughtful for a second.

"I want to name him after my daddy." She said smiling her eyes never leaving her new furry friend.

"That's sweet baby, but that might be confusing" I told her

"How about we name him Doctor? Since your daddy is a doctor?" Susan suggested.

"How about Doc?" I asked. "Might be easier for her to pronounce" I told Susan.

"DOC" Emma screamed, and the dog jumped up on her happily licking her face.

"Doc loves his new name!" Emma exclaimed.

Emma and my dad helped put together a little area for Doc in the living room. They had bags of toys, a new collar and leash, puppy food, a crate, and blankets. I had never seen her so excited and made a mental note that once Derek and I figured out our living situation we would for sure have to get a pet for our daughter.

When Lexi & Mark arrived, they both played with the new dog and Emma. They took her outside to play chalk and swing and then all of us went on a long walk around Susan and Thatcher's neighborhood where Doc sniffed everywhere, and Emma loved every minute of it. That night, Emma and I snuggled together in the guest bedroom that Susan and Thatcher decorated for Emma. Doc was glued to Emma's side and the two of them slept together all night long as I held my baby close to me. I couldn't sleep just thinking about all the things I wanted for her and for myself. It was nice being back on the East Coast and it was nice having help for once. I didn't know what to do about my mother, it's not like I could just leave her all alone in Seattle, but Emma had to come first and a part of me couldn't help the guilt of having her so isolated out in Seattle when she had so much love waiting for her here. At one point during the night Doc left her side to come lay with me. He gave me a few licks and I instantly felt a bond to him. The three of us cuddled up, all dreaming of what tomorrow would hold.

I loved Thanksgiving at my dad and Susan's house. We always carried out the same traditions and Emma was at the perfect age where she was able to join in on the family fun. It started with the parade and this year Emma watched with wide eyes every float that passed by. There was a unicorn one this year that she loved. We then all helped Susan in the kitchen sampling the meal before we officially ate. It was nice catching up with Mark and Lexi too. They started dating officially when Emma was one and right before we moved out to Seattle. They were going strong and lived together in New York. They both seemed happy, and I was happy for them. Susan always served Thanksgiving dinner at exactly 4:00 pm. We weren't allowed to eat all day so that we would devour all her cooking and then after dinner we watched movies and helped put up the Christmas decorations. This was the first year we were doing Thanksgiving without Derek and I could tell everyone was trying to make up for it. Even when we weren't together anymore, we still carried out our tradition of Thanksgiving with my dad and Susan and then Christmas with his family. Things were different now though; he was a surgical intern, and his time was no longer his own. Once I graduated, it would be the same for me and likely we wouldn't be able to travel for holidays anymore.

Right before dinner I heard a knock at the door as everyone was putting the plates on the table and helping Susan move the food to the table so we could eat family style.

"I wonder who that could be at this time?" Susan said as she was moving the turkey to the table.

"I'll get it" I told everyone and left the dining room to go to the front door.

I opened the door and there was Derek clad in his leather jacket and black jeans. He looked a bit tired, but he had a joy coming from him that was infectious.

"Derek, what are you doing here?" I asked him amazed.

"Come here" he told me and in an instant, I was wrapped in his arms. He held me so tightly against him and for a moment I forgot that we weren't together anymore. His mouth was dangerously close to mine and if I didn't have a child to think of, I would have kissed him right there. We pulled back softly for a moment, and I could see him staring at my lips. I knew he had the same thought that I had.

One of us was about to make a move when I felt someone walking towards us. It was Susan and she gave us both a knowing look. Quickly, Derek and I untangled from each other almost embarrassed.

"Good to see you, Derek." Susan told him genuinely

"I hope it's okay that I just showed up." He told her sheepishly

She swatted her hand at him "Of course it is. You are always welcome here."

He grinned and proceeded to walk into the house.

"Em baby can you come here?" I called out to our daughter. I knew she was likely in the kitchen playing with Doc.

I heard little feet running across the hardwood and the sound of Doc's paws following her. The second that her face recognized that her dad was here all bets were off.

"DADDY" she yelled and in an instant Derek picked her up and pulled her into his arms. He held her tightly pushing back her curls. He started murmuring something to her that was private between the two of them. When I caught his eye, I could see the unshed tears he was holding back and even Susan cried a little.

"Daddy, I'm so happy" Emma cried and at that point he physically had to wipe a few tears away.

"Oh bean, I have missed you." He told her and hugged her tightly against him again.

"Is that Derek?" Thatcher asked coming into the living room with Lexi and Mark in toll.

Derek reached out his hand to shake my dad's all while holding onto our daughter.

"You made it just in time for dinner." Lexi told Derek who smiled at her in return.

"Daddy, I have a new best friend." Emma told him excitedly

He frowned "But, I thought I was your best friend." He told her jokingly.

"Silly. You're my daddy, you can't be my best friend."

He gave her a sad face and she giggled.

She wiggled out of his embrace, and he set her down where she picked up Doc to show him.

"This is Doc" she told him

"Nice to meet you Doc" Derek told the dog beaming at him. He took Doc's paw and shook it as if he was meeting a person for the first time and Emma giggled infectiously.

Derek looked over at me with questions in his eyes wanting to know more about Emma's new dog.

"Don't look at me. Thatcher surprised us all and this is his dog." I told Derek.

"Ah" Derek replied.

"Alright everyone, let's sit down for dinner before it gets cold." Susan told us all and Derek took Emma's seat holding her in his lap.

Throughout dinner, Derek and I would catch each other's eye and get lost in each other's eyes for a second before something or someone would pull our attention away.

Emma chatted incessantly about school, her friends, Doc and Seattle. She talked at length about riding the ferry boat and the water.

Derek hung on every word she said, and Thatcher chimed in his thoughts on Seattle since he had lived there for a long time.

"So Derek, when do you have to go back to work?" Susan asked

"I actually am off until Sunday. I pulled a lot of strings." Derek told her

"A lot." Mark chimed in. "No other intern has gotten time like that off." Mark responded

"Yeah, well no other intern has a daughter this cute who needs to see their daddy." Derek replied running his hands through Emma's blonde curls.

"Can't argue with that logic" Mark replied laughing.

After dinner, we watched movies as a family and Derek, and I helped Emma make a gingerbread house. Emma fell asleep in Derek's arms, and he took her upstairs to bed. We put the baby monitor on that Susan and Thatcher still had from when she was very little and went outside to the back yard to talk. It was a cold night in Rhode Island, so I kept a blanket around me as Derek and I caught up with Mark and Lexi.

Mark passed beers to Derek and I and I was grateful for it the second the cold beer touched my lips. I couldn't remember the last time I was able to just kick-back with no responsibility drinking beers with friends. Not that I didn't have responsibilities now, but Thatcher and Susan were keeping an ear out for Emma. It was likely that she was out for the night though.

"How's Seattle?" Mark asked me

"It's great. Emma is pretty adjusted to pre-school, and I like my university." I told him taking a huge swig of my beer.

"I still need to come out there. Lexi says she loves the city."

"I think it suits you, Meredith." Lexi chimed in.

I shrugged "We'll see" I caught Derek's eye. I could feel his eyes on me constantly. I tried not being phased by it.

"I think you should move back to New York" Mark admitted. "Great city. Great company. Great potential" Mark spoke eyeing Derek and I suspiciously.

I sighed "Maybe eventually. My mother… She needs me…"I explained for what felt like the hundredth time.

"I'm moving to Seattle in May anyways" Derek blurted stopping my excuse. He played with the wrapper on his beer not meeting anyone's gaze.

"So, you say" Mark stated opening another beer and pushing the cold liquid down his throat.

"I am. I'm transferring to Seattle Grace as soon as intern exams are over."

"That's great Derek. Emma will be thrilled. You are all she talks about when we video chat" Lexi encouraged him.

Derek smiled and nodded. I could tell he was in his own head dreaming of what it would be like for the three of us to be all under the same roof again.

"Maybe we'll move out to Seattle too" Mark said grinning like a chesire cat. Lexi rolled her eyes

"Not for a while. I still have to get through med school." Lexi told everyone.

"Mer's doing med school in Seattle. You could too" Mark told her nudging her shoulder.

There was silence around us as we drank our beers enjoying the cool fall weather.

"Lex, I'm cold. Let's go watch a movie." Mark told Lexi abruptly. He seemed to have some information that the rest of us weren't privy too and Lexi agreed. They walked off hand in hand leaving Derek and I alone. It was quiet for a moment and then Derek grinned at me.

"My parents are out of their minds excited for tomorrow."

"Derek, how did you pull this off?" I asked him referring to the amazing surprise Thanksgiving visit.

He gave me his Mcdreamy look "I couldn't not be with you…. With both of you this year. It's tradition."

I smiled "This trip is the happiest she's been in months." I told Derek honestly.

He nodded thinking for a second. "You know what's crazy?" he told me meeting my gaze.

I looked at him questioningly.

"I'm on 2 hours of sleep, sat through hours of traffic and yet I feel happier today than I have since the last time I saw you. Seeing you…. Being with you…. It's a greater high than surgery."

"Derek-"

"I mean it Meredith. What are we doing?" he asked me.

"It doesn't make sense, does it? I love you and I know you love me and we have this baby that's well, she's not such a baby anymore but she still is in a lot ways. Why are we on opposite sides of the country?" he asked me

"Derek you said it yourself – just six more months. Just six more months and then everything will be different. It will be better."

Derek sighed "I don't want to wait 6 more months Meredith. I want more of this of us. I don't want to wait anymore."

"I can't leave Seattle."

"I know" he told me

We were quiet for several moments. Derek took several sips of his beer before smiling at me

"Hey, it's Thanksgiving. Want to know what I'm thankful for?" he asked playfully

"What?" I asked him with a small grin.

His arms reached out for me and he pulled me onto his lap "That I have a beautiful daughter with a beautiful woman who just so happens to be my very best friend and I am sitting here with her tonight under a blanket of stars knowing that in six months I'll get to do this whenever I want." He brought his lips to mine and I kissed him back passionately.

The truth is, Derek and I were never able to fight our connection to each other. After we broke up and spent a year barely speaking, hot angry impromptu revenge sex is what brought us back together again as friends. Over the years, there's been a few slip ups sex wise. The last time he was in Seattle, we had sex on my mother's dining room table. The time before that sex in his parents' bathroom and the list goes on and on. We never talked about it and it was always implied that once we lived in the same state, we would be back together officially.

It was very likely that Derek and I would be having sex in my dad's backyard tonight. Our only rule was that Emma couldn't find out and we couldn't confuse her. Until we were 100% ready to get fully back together, our attraction and lust for each other stayed between us.