AN: here's chapter 2, hope y'all enjoy. Expect the AOT part to start like chapter 7 I'm not sure but we'll see. Love you and as always enjoy!
Ps this chapter was getting very long so I split it into two parts, expect the other soon (just had to finish editing 3
TW: cutting (like the mirror scene)
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Chapter two: The second dawn
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The first thing she felt was the cool metal against her sweaty skin. The air around her was musty and humid, and the fur she was wearing itched her skin. However, she was unable to move to relive such a nuisance. It was as if her limbs were frozen, refusing to respond to her mental commands. She breathed in deadly through her nose, the aroma of sweat and something else filling her senses. She sniffed again, wondering what that was. As soon as if entered ber synaces again she realize with a start. It was the tangy, rotten smell of carnage. She wrinkled her nose, attempting to rid herself of the horrid sensation. However, no matter what she couldn't fade back into the darkness she had come from. Not slowly enough, sound began to drift into the blackness. As soon as it did, her auditory senses were overwhelmed. Loud screams, banging, and hollering were the most prominent of these sounds. But, in the undertones she could hear the crunching of bones, the slicing of flesh, and the splattering of blood. She opened her eyes.
She was seated on a throne, guarded by armed men. Infront if her was a pit, surrounded by a tall fence. Rowdy onlookers were pounding on the fence, as if attempting to break into the pit below.
Octavia's eyes followed theirs, pondering the scene that lay in front of her. The first, and perhaps most notable thing, were the body's. Laying strewn upon the bloody floor were 11 men. The sight would have made a younger Octavia gag, but instead she remained motionless. Her eyes squinted, her mind pricing together what exactly was happening. Standing in the ring, covered in blood, was Kane. He looked down at his hands, apparently disgusted. He looked up at her with sheer anger, confusing her. What was he doing, why was he mad at her?
"….. get to live?"
Octavia didn't even register the question coming from her right, until too late. Turning her head, she realized it was directed at her. The room suddenly quieted, as if waiting for her response.
Upon realizing her confusion, Gaia repeated the question. "Bloodreina, I asked if Marcus Kane has earned his freedom."
Octavia turned back to Kane, what did he do? Was she to decide his fate? She closed her eyes hoping that in the darkness there would be an answer. However, there was only silence, silence that stretched on forever.
Until the silence eventually faded, and small sounds began to filter through her ears. The first was the sound of pained moans, followed shortly by screams of sorrow and agony.
When she opened her eyes she was no longer here, but instead surrounded in a field. All around her dead bodies, piled one on another. She looked down, realizing these were the faces of her comrade. In the back of her mind she heard her voice. "Ethen was the first to die, all because you made a deal with the enemy you knew she would never keep." She could feel the emotion in her words.
"You gave me no choice, you were lost, you're still lost-" his words ended with the sound of gurgling.
Octavia closed her eyes tightly, wishing for whatever this was to stop. When she opened them again she was back, looking into Kanes angry eyes.
"He lives, Marcus Kane has earned his freedom." She said, ending the silence. The spectators cheered, but she didn't pay attention. The only thing she could see was the confusion written on Kane's face. Whatever this was, she would need to talk to him about it later. First she had to get out of here and make sure Ethan was okay. Strangely, she felt a sense of protectiveness for him. She had never even been particularly close with the child that she could remember, but something inside her said otherwise. Something inside her hurt when she heard… well her words.
Gaia looked at her, head titles and brows furrowed in confusion, before turning back to the crowd. "We are done here, bring Kane to his cell, the rest of you return to your chambers." The grounders nodded and dispersed, and in less than five minutes the only people left in the room were Octavia, Gaia, miller, and Indra, Gaia having dismissed the rest of her guards.
As soon as the last person was gone from the room, Gaia turned to Octavia, disapproval written on her features. "Why would you let him live after defying you time and time again." She asked, voice trying to remain calm.
Octavia turned to Gaia, trying to hide her confusion. But, when she stared into Gaias eyes, they weren't her eyes at all. They were the eyes of a young, brown haired girl. A girl dressed in the robes of the colander. Behind her stood Gaia and Indra, along with the other grounders. The image was gone in an instant, but the sense of betrayal stayed. And with it, an overwhelming sense of anger.
"How dare you pretend to care, when you would leave me for the first night blood that comes knocking." She said, noting the change of Gaias facial expression. Her features first showed confusion, anger, sadness, and then realization. Gaia knew Octavia's words were true, and she accepted them.
"And you," Octavia turned to face Indra, saddened and betrayed. "You would do it too, don't try to deny it, you think I'm a monster."
Indra looked at Octavia, betrayal written on her features. "You know that's not true Octavia-"
She cut her off. "It is true, because you do it. All of you!" Octavia's breathing was ragged, and she had to force herself to calm down. "Get out, all of you but Miller." She said, staring dead into Indra's hurt eyes. Octavia was expecting her mentor to argue and reprimand her for the outburst, but instead she bowed her head. Mother and daughter left, leaving only Octavia and Miller in the big room.
Miller knelt down to Octavia's level, putting a hand on her shoulder. "O, are you okay?" He asked, looking into her eyes. Octavia looked up at him, but it wasn't him.
Instead, it was her brother. His features were not concerned as miller had been, but angry. "You may be my sister, but you're no longer my responsibility." The hand on her shoulder tightened, and then with all his strength, Bellamy pushed Octavia down the ramp. Before she even knew what was happening, the ship was gone into the sky. A feeling of abandonment washed over her, a feeling that felt so real. However, as quickly as it came, it was gone. She was once again met with her friend's worried gaze, his hand on her shoulder.
She quickly changed her hurt expression to impassive, and shook her head, leaning back into her throne. "I need you to do something for me, and you can't ask why." She said, staring into Miller's eyes. She knew he would do anything she asked of him, however she needed to specify.
He nodded as expected, "of course, anything you ask bloodreina."
Octavia smiled, assured by his sincerity. "I need you to steal the flame."
Miller blinked, tilting his head. Why would she need the flame? To destroy it? She seemed to be paranoid about their being a new commander, perhaps to put her at ease. But, what was there to fear, the only surviving humans were in this bunker, and none were nightbloods. Miller shook his head, he could figure out her reason later, for now, he had a mission from his queen.
After receiving his orders, Miller went directly to Nylas room. She had been the one person he was allowed to tell, and he would need her help. Not only did he not have a plan, he had three hours till he was to meet Octavia in the fighting pit. But, he was positive that with her help he would be able to obtain the flame.
And he was, only it didn't happen how he expected. As soon as Nyla e,edged from the vent, as soon as he saw her flushed and terrified face, he knew something had gone wrong.
She shook her head as he helped her out, "I left my identification badge there, which means when the notice it's missing they are going to come straight for us." She sighed, showing him the flame resting in the palm of her hand.
Miller grumbled under his breath. "Octavia you better have a good reason for this." He scowled before heading to meet his queen.
Octavia closed her eyes, relishing in the pain. At times like this, it was the only thing she knew was real. It brought her away from the images that plagued her mind and back to reality. Reality being that she was never meant to lead. In fact, she was never meant to be born.
She cut deeper.
If it weren't for her, her mother would have been alive. Lincoln would have been alive. Bellamy would have been alive.
She cut deeper.
She felt the blood oozing from the self inflicted wound. It was warm, and the sensation reminded her of the truth. Her blood was red, she was never meant to be a commander.
She cut deeper.
She had simply been fooling herself, fooling her people. People she had slaughtered. People who would betray her.
She cut deeper.
Perhaps it would be best to end it here, as she was very clearly losing her mind. But no, that wasn't right.
"Stop," Octavia heard the voice of a girl and looked up into the mirror. In her reflection, she didn't see the Queen everyone thought she was. She didn't see the pitiful girl she knew she was, she saw a commander.
Her eyes were filled with strength and resolve, wearing the robe of Lexa, the mark on Heda on her forehead.
"The only way to stop what's to come is to take the flame."
"Octavia," Millers voice echoed from the desolate pit. She turned towards the direction, before looking back into the mirror. Only, all she saw was her reflection, not whatever had been there before. She had no time to ponder what had happened. Instead, she just picked up the piece of glass, rinsing it off. She poured water over her arms, braising herself for the sting. Only, it didn't come. When the red had finished flowing down the drain, her arm didn't have a mark on it. She ran her fingers over the flesh, feeling the smoothness beneath them. Where a wound should have been was simply a warm patch of fresh skin. She shook her head, knowing she was losing it for real.
Regaining her composure, she opened the door, ascending quickly into the center of the pit where Miller and Nyla were waiting.
"Did you get it?" She asked, to which Nyla opened her palm, showing Octavia the small chip inside it.
"Why do you need Octavia?" Miller asked, angrily.
Octavia shook her head. " I told you not to ask that"
"Well considering Indra is probably on her way right now, whatever you need it for better be important." Nyla answered. Octavia didn't have the time to ask, because as if on cue the doors opened.
Gaia, accompanied by Indra and a group of grounders, entered the space above the pit, guns aimed at them.
"Octavia what are you doing?" Gaia asked, holding her hand in an order of the guns to be pointed down.
Miller was quick, pointing his gun at Gaia's head
"Give me the flame.'' Octavia commanded, to which Nyla hesitantly obeyed. Octavia turned to Gaia and Indra, both hurt, betrayed, and angry. But mostly worried, as Octavia hadn't been acting herself, paranoid and suspicious. Though, they supposed that's what power did to a person.
Octavia wanted to tell them, she really did. Only, she herself had no idea what she was doing. Even as she held the flame in her hand, she knew not what she was going to do with it. She closed her eyes, remembering the reflection she had seen in the mirror. She remembered what she had been warned of, and an image of carnage flashed before her eyes. Wonkru, her people, lying on the ground, dead. She knew she didn't have a choice.
"Ashanti superius," she whispered to the flame, watching in fascination as it's tendrils flung out. There were so many, and all seemed to be reaching towards her, becoming for her.
Milder, gun still pointed at Gaia, looked back at Octavia . "O, what the hell are you doing?"
Gaia seemed to realized what was going to happen and began panicking. "It will kill you."
Nyla rushed for Octavia in attempts to take the flame from her grasp. But, it was too late.
The tensions had already buried themselves into the flesh of her neck.
Her body instantly fell to the floor, Nyla rushing to her side. In moments, Gaia was there, holding a knife.
"Flip her over, if it hasn't merged yet we can still cut it out."
Her body was flipped over and Miller quickly pulled her hair aside to expose her neck.
Gaia brought the knife to her skin to begin the incision, however the blade cracked as soon as he touched her. What looked like a small layer of crystal covered the place where the flame had been inserted.
"What the hell?"
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Pain, so much pain. It was tangible, as if she could breathe it in. She felt it swirl around her, engulfing her in it's familiar embrace. Octavia remembered when she had first stepped foot on the ground, when she was no older than her thirteenth birthday. She had been thought to be the first on the ground in a hundred years, and remembered the wonder she felt. Eventually she learned she was wrong, as she had been many times over the past seven years. She had learned that the meaning of freedom was choosing to be engaged, she had learn that life was full of pain. And pain, while it meant you were alive.
Octavia opened her eyes, embracing the pain that meant, to her, life. As soon as her eyes adjusted to the brilliant lights and colors of the world, she was awestruck. She had read books, children's tales that spoke of lights dancing in the sky like fairies. However, she had never actually believed herself to be witness to such a sight. She was now, and it was beautiful. The colors sent shadows over the landscape, making it seem as if the world itself was on fire. The grass, normally shades of green, became a colorful painting brought to life by the hands of the artist. She was so immersed in this beautiful world that she didn't notice the man standing across from her. But, he noticed her.
In seconds, he was somehow standing in front of her, his face barely an inch away from hers. Octavia, eyes still filled with wonder, turned her face upwards to stare into the green eyes of the man before her. His eyes were dark, that of a predictor, but they held something behind them. Some sadness that only one who had lived through the same could see. His face was young, perhaps a year older than hers, but the expression he wore showed just how much he had lived through. Octavia, thinking he was some sort of expression of herself, simply stared into his eyes, examining him. Truthfully, she didn't expect him to actually be real, and was caught all the more off guard when his hand gripped her throat.
"Who are you," he growled, his voice deep and scared. Octavia blinked, confused, just now realizing that this man wasn't a figment of her imagination.
After blinking a few more times, she managed to snap herself out of her shock. In one swift movement, she broke the hand that clasped her throat, flipping the man onto his back and holding his arm in a hold, so that if he even attempted to move, she could break it.
"I was going to ask the same thing," she spit out, voice filled with venom.
His head turned back to face her, his green eyes seeming to ripple like the ocean. Before she could react, he flipped over, throwing her off of him and rising to his feet. Anger overtook the girl, anger that this man bested her at her own game. Her blood began boiling, and her nerve began to vibrate, as if with some unknown power. She lunged, her attack fueled by anger, not logic. It took him no time to reverse her momentum on her, and pin her underneath him. Slithering from his grip, she quickly turned the tables, breaking his leg with a kick and grabbing him in a chokehold.
After taking a moment to breath, she adjusted her grip, making it so that at any moment she could break his neck. A voice in her head, unfamiliar and gravely, told her to do it. In no place to argue, she tensed her muscles, readying to end this man.
"Stop," the voice of a child commanded. Something strange overtook Octavias body, and without so much as a thought hesitation she released the man. Breathing heavily from the effort it took to think suddenly, she slowly turned around.
Standing in front of her was a girl, looking to be less than 13 years of age. But, Octavia wasn't fooled, she knew that this girl was no weak child. She had seen this girl before, only she couldn't remember where from.
However, the boy seemed to know, and his face became a look of awe and fear. "Ymir," he whispered, as if to himself.
The girl ignored him, and instead set her gazed upon Octavia. "It took me a while to awaken you, but now you are finally here," the child said, bare feet padding to Octavia. As if instinctively, Octavias body hunched over into a deep bow, splaying herself in front of this child.
"No matter, your timing could not be more impeccable," she said, hand coming to grasp under her chin. "You may not remember this, but we made a deal."
Octavia shook her head, she didn't remember. She remembered the girl but didn't know where from. Everything was… foggy.
"I uphold my end of the deal, now it is your turn." The girl continued talking, but Octavia could not hear anymore. The scene around her faded, turning into the black canvas of her eyelids.
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She opened her eyes to the dim lit pit, instantly aware of a knife to the back of her neck. She didn't have time to move, but her instincts creamed to protect that part of herself. And somehow, she did. She felt the knife break on a layer of armor that had materialized over the spot.
"What the hell?"
The confusion was enough time for her to regain her senses and lungs to her feet. A scream escaped her as she lunged for the people who had meant to harm her. She sensed shock as she lunged at one of them, prepared to kill the person. However, the reaction of the creature caUght her off guard. Because, they bowed.
So did everyone around her, as if to a god.
As if to… Heda.
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When she opened her eyes again, she was in the same, colorful, beautiful place. The girl was no longer there, but the man was.
"Who are you?" Octavia asked, confused as to what was going on.
The man sighed, "it doesn't matter, your simply a figment of my imaginations, my heart trying to justify exactly what I plan to do" Octavia shook her head. She had thought the same of this man, had assumed that he in fact was a reflection of her. If this was the case, and he was real, and so was she, then who was he. The only life that remained after Primfya was the small collection of people in the bunker, and she knew them all. She knew their faces, their names, their stories. But she didn't know this man. She sighed, perhaps it was some elaborate illusion she crafted to take comfort in.
So, she decided why not take comfort in this, her lips parting to ask. "What exactly do you plan to do?"
He shook his head, sighing and laying back on the grass. His eyes looked to the sky, searching as if for an answer to her question. "The only thing I can do to save my people, kill everyone else."
At this Octavia turned, her eyes reflecting understanding. She had once felt this same thing, this same need to protect her people at all costs. However, in the end, she realized that she had no people. "Her people" had thrown her out, killed her mother and sentenced her to death. "Her people," had only wanted her when they needed her. She had felt alone and isolated, until she realized that the whole separation of "us or them" was exactly what made the world end. If they had worked with the grounders, instead of against, they wouldn't have lost so many people. If they had worked with the mountain men, they wouldn't have had to kill every last one. If they had worked with Allie, perhaps they could have prevented the end of the world. If they had worked together, as one people, wonkru, they wouldn't be where they are now.
"There is no 'your people,'" she stated to the boy, whom she thought to be the part of herself that still didn't accept this. "There is only wonkru," she said, seeing his confusion. She picked up a twig from the ground, holding it in her hands. She grabbed a few more, and stacked them atop each other. She made a show of attempting to break them, but they stayed. "Together we are strong," she then dropped all but one of the twigs, and attempted to snap that one. It broke easily, splintering her hand. "Alone we are weak." She brushed off her hands, allowing the remnants of the twig to fall to the ground. "If we continue to view the world through the glass of us vs them, there is no peace."
Green eyes meet hers, filled with a sense of understanding, also resolution. "While I hear your argument, there can be peace if there is no 'them'."
Octavia looked into his eyes and saw his plan, mass genocide. That's what it looked like to her. Would she really, if she had the need, use such a ruthless form of war. Perhaps she would, or the old her would have.
Before she could explore the thought more, she heard footsteps approaching. She turned her face towards the sound, seeing a man approach from them.
She felt the person to her right shift, bracing himself for a fight. However, as the man came closer, and Octavia was able to see him more clearly, she was able to make out the robe he was wearing. The robe of Heda.
It was covered in blood, and Octavia was able to make out a scare running from one corner of his face to the other. She recognized him from studying the philosophies of past commanders. She had thought that, since she wasn't a commander and could t communicate with them, she could at least figure out how they thought. The general idea she had taken away from each commander was the need to protect and unite the people of the clans. However, this man was different. He sought to conquer, giving his victims two choices, kneel or die.
Octavia sprung to her feet, facing the man and growling. "Shadheda."
Taking note of her reaction, the man next to her stood up, quickly facing the river man.
"Chit dula op Yu gaf in?" What do you want? Octavia said, her voice raised to carry across to him.
He looked up, acknowledging that he heard her, then resumed walking, eyes set on the ground.
"Who's that?" The man asked, taking a stance that imitated hers.
"Someone who is supposed to be dead," she said, not giving further explanation. If he was upset by that, he didn't let it show, instead he simply stood there.
She blinked, trying to understand why and how he was here. However, her memories were fogged. It was like searching for something in a murky river. It was like attempting to find a needle in a haystack. She knew it was there, but it was as if she couldn't remember what it was.
In fact, the more she thought, the more she realized that she couldn't remember anything. How she had gotten here, where hear was. What she has been doing before she ends up here. She remembered the world ending, but didn't know how. She knew that they somehow survived, but couldn't remember how either everything was.
Octavia let out a gasp of pain as her mind tried to comprehend the current situation. The world around her shifted, changing and morphing into darkness. The man looked frantically at her, running in her direction before disappearing as well. Everything was gone, until it was just her, blackness, and the dark commander.
Her head still hurt, but less so. She was able to muster enough strength to push herself to her feet. Funny, she hadn't realized she had fallen, and look in front of her.
Standing, less than a foot away, was a man. A man covered in the robes of Heda, his only armor the scars that adorned his pale skin. Octavia tried to talk, but the effort had her falling over, into the imbrase of this monster.
He caught her, and as soon as she did, the pain became a little more bearable. She didn't understand why, it was like being close to him made it easier.
Laying her to the ground, his hand reached for her face. He stroked gently, almost lovingly, and the pain faded until it was almost nonexistent.
"Accept us Octavia," his lips moved, but it wasn't only his voice. No, it was the voice of every commander that had come before him. Only, Octavia could make out, behind the chorus of voices, one that didn't agree. The voice was quiet, as if far away, but she was able to make out what it said.
Run
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AN: so just a real quick thing, no one who meets and the "coordinate" remembers they were there. Like erens gonna wake up and forget what happened same with Octavia. It's yk just like that. But with the commanders she remembers them sort of, all the memories she has and doesn't get very mixed up, hence why she is seeing things that happened in the future, or past of however u look at it.