Inu-Yasha
Reflection
A Songfic

Disclaimer: Considering the fact that I don't live in Japan, and I'm not even Japanese, I doubt there is any way I can own Inu-Yasha. ^^

A/N: Wow....this month has been a lot of firsts for C-Chan! First, she finished her a chapter story, Deceiving Images! Then, she wrote her first challenge fic, Winter Wonderland! Then, she wrote her first one-shot, Trust and Love! AND....those were her first Inu-Yasha fics! *Sigh* But now it's time for another first, a type of story I used to look down upon for the meaningless value of it....but no more! Today, I present my first songfic, using the song "Reflection" by Christina Aguilera. This has always been a favorite song of mine (Despite the music I'm always listening to), and has a lot of personal meaning. When I decided I wanted to write a songfic, I chose this song for those reasons and personal ones. But now I'll shut up and get to the story! Arrigatou, Ja ne, and Review, Onegai! (Gomen for the long A/N ^^)


Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me

Kagome Higurashi let out a depressing sigh as she leaned on the windowsill of her room. It was probably around midnight, but the young miko had completely ignored the time. She was so upset and angry that time didn't matter right now. All she wanted to do was be left alone to her thoughts. The reason for her anger: none other than Inu-Yasha, the half-yokai she traveled with on her search for the Shikon no kakera.

The afternoon the dog demon had gotten seriously hurt after a fight with a ravenous Wolf yokai in possession of a shard. And since they had separated from Miroku, Sango, and Shippo for the time being, the mirai no miko was left to tend for the stubborn hanyou. That's when trouble started....


"Inu-Yasha, onegai! You're seriously hurt!" Kagome pleaded, tugging on the sleeve of Inu-Yasha.

The dog demon swatted her hand away angrily, and turned so he was now glaring down at her. "Look wench, I don't need yours, or anyone else's help! I'm quite fine taking care of myself!"

"Demo, you're bleeding really bad!" Kagome argued, pointing to the rather large puddle of blood pooling around Inu-Yasha's feet.

Inu-Yasha looked down, blinking a few times. The girl had a point, but....he wasn't one to show weakness! "Feh, no big deal. I'll be healed in a few days."

Kagome fumed. How dare he, how dare he! She tries to show she cares by asking, nearly begging, for the hanyou to sit and rest so she could tend to his wounds, and he has the nerve to say he doesn't need anyone's help!? "You jerk, if you don't sit your ass down right now, I'll use the 'O-word' so many times you won't be able to get up for days!" Kagome demanded, using her colorful array of words that she had learned from being around the dog demon too long.

Inu-Yasha scoffed and complied, sitting on a nearby rock near the side of the road. Kagome pulled out her first aid kit and immediately began to set up her supplies. She looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "Take your shirts off."

Inu-Yasha matched her gaze, and once again listened. His chest was covered in deep punchture wounds and claw marks, all bleeding without any looks of stopping. Inu-Yasha winced as she sprayed the antiseptic on the wounds. "Damn, that hurts girl!"

"Stop whining! Do you want an infection?" Kagome replied, moving to bandage his chest.

Inu-Yasha "Feh"-ed, and allowed the girl to bandage his chest, a soft look on his face as he watched her. *This girl....she really cares about me...*

Kagome moved up to the large scratch on Inu-Yasha's face, pausing a moment.

"Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"I don't want to spray any antiseptic in your eyes."

"Feh, whatever."

The hanyou closed his eyes, and Kagome carefully sprayed the medicine on his cheek. She looked up at Inu-Yasha sadly. *Why doesn't he understand...I just want him to know how much I care...*

Kagome placed a large bandage on his cheek and leaned back. "Done. Was that so bad?"

"Yes!" Inu-Yasha snapped, standing up and putting his shirts back on.

Kagome was having about enough of his attitude, and was minutes away from snapping. Why was he being like this? What happened to the sweet and kind dog demon she had encountered the other day? The one who had come to pick her up from her world and actually didn't demand that she return to the Sengoku Jidai that moment. Maybe she should say something... "What's with you today?"

"Nani? What the hell are you talking about?" Inu-Yasha asked, confusion mixing with the anger in his eyes.

"What am I talking about? You're being a total jerk to me for no reason whatsoever! All I wanted to do was take care of your wounds so you wouldn't get hurt more, and you give me a big deal about it! Then, you don't even thank me!"

"Feh, I have all the right to be a jerk if I want. You're only a shard detector, ne? Why should I care what you want to do?"

Kagome lowered her head so her bangs covered her eyes. Was that how he really thought of her? She truly was only a shard detector to him? But...weren't they friends as well?

Inu-Yasha blinked, but didn't change the expression on his face. "Feh, are you going to cry now? Why should you care about me, anyway? You know that I'm going to take that jewel from you the minute it's completed. You stupid humans and your weak feelings...I know all about them, you care because if I die, you won't have anyone to protect you!"

That's it. Kagome raised her head to him quickly, her eyes filled with tears. "Why should I care? Why should I care, even though you may kill me for the jewel?! You wanna know why, Inu-Yasha?! Because I can!" Kagome screamed, catching the hanyou offguard.

"Despite how you treat me, I have always cared about you! I'm concerned when your hurt! I'm worried when you get those distant looks on your face when you're remembering Kikyo! I cry when you almost die! You know what Inu-Yasha, you know nothing about me! How dare you!"

Inu-Yasha couldn't believe her words. She did care about him....as much as he cared for her. The hanyou knew if he revealed her feelings, that would become a handicap for him if anyone ever found out, especially Naraku and his brother, Sesshoumaru. Inu-Yasha, for one of the first times in his life, was speechless.

"K-Kagome..."

"OSUWARI!"

The rosary around Inu-Yasha's neck glowed with power, then slammed the demon to the ground, hard. Kagome glared down at him, then packed up her things. "You don't need me, do you? You think I only care about you because you protect me? Fine! I'm going home! You can find those damned shards all by yourself!"

Inu-Yasha winced as he stood up, staring at Kagome. *I deserved that.* "Kagome."

The miko from the future stood up and gave him one last glare. "You heard me. I'm going home, and you're not going to stop me! I may come back, but you'll just have to wait and see!"

She turned her back to him and began back down the path they started to the Bone Eater's Well. Inu-Yasha clenched his fists and began to follow her. "Hold on just a minute!"

"OSUWARI!"

Splat. Kagome spun on her heels and glared at his subdued figure. "And don't you DARE try to follow me, because if you do, I'll keep 'O-wording' you!"


And now she was sitting at her windowsill, staring at the night sky. "He doesn't know me at all...that jerk."

Every day it's as if I play a part
Now I see If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

And while Kagome was musing to herself on Inu-Yasha's thoughts of her, a certain hanyou was doing the same thing about the girl from the future.

Inu-Yasha sat in his favorite branch of the Goshinboku tree, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. But he wasn't angry at Kagome, oh no. He was pissed at himself.

I'm such an idiot. I know she cares about me, but I had go and say those stupid things and hurt her feelings. Now she'll probably never come back. Baka, baka, baka!

But maybe he was right in saying those things, despite what he thought. If Kagome's love for the hanyou and his love for her ever was revealed, their lives would be in danger. Perhaps in saying those things over and over the girl would get a clue and stop feeling so strongly for him. But it hurts so much to say those things...

And it did. The minute he screamed at the poor girl his heart ached with a pain he had never experienced before. He would never admit it to anyone, but the girl who had released him from his 50-year slumber meant everything and more to him. And in saying those things, he had broken her heart. Now his heart was aching as much as hers.

Maybe I should go apologize...would she listen? She's probably still angry at me, and if I show up she'll 'sit' me like there's no tomorrow. But wouldn't that be showing her how much he cared? Isn't that the sole reason he yelled at her earlier, to show her he didn't care?

Gods, love was confusing. Inu-Yasha remembered back to his feelings for Kikyo, the priestess that protected the Shikon no Tama before Kagome. He had loved her too, or so he thought. But thanks to Naraku his heart had been broken, and his love had gone to the grave believing he had betrayed her, as did he. And now, the priestess was walking around in a sham form of herself, her hatred for him the soul purpose for her existence.

He didn't want to lose anymore people close to him. First his mother, then Kikyo...and now, if he didn't do anything to fix what he did, Kagome. Inu-Yasha stood up on his branch, wincing slightly from the wounds that were still healing. He had to go to her...he had to save their love.

The hanyou leapt down and began to the short walk to the well, and to Kagome's time.

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

Kagome finally removed herself from the windowsill and sat herself at her desk. Next to her pile of books was a small vanity mirror, hardly ever used. She picked it up and gazed at her reflection, frowning. "Can't he see it at all? I love him...but maybe he doesn't want to love me back because I'll only go back to my world after the quest..." She said aloud to her reflection.

"Or because he still loves Kikyo."

Kikyo. Her past life, the protector of the jewel. She had also loved Inu-Yasha. Could she even compete with her? Kikyo had it all; beauty, smarts, skill....she could beat Kagome in everything if such a challenge was issued. She knew she was no warrior-babe compared to Kikyo, and probably never would be. Perhaps she should just give up, find the rest of the jewel, and forget about Inu-Yasha...he only saw her as Kikyo's reincarnation anyway....

"No! I will never forget about him....he's too important to me to forget. I could never, ever....forget about him..."

Tears began to run down the girls face in thick streams. He had hurt her so much...but despite that she still loved him just as much. "When will he see....who I really am? When will he see me, Kagome...and not Kikyo?" She cried, grasping the mirror.

She slammed it down on the desk and rested her head in her folded arms, balling.

"When.....when...." She repeated over and over.

I am now in a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Inu-Yasha clambered out of the well and stared at the door at the top of the stairs. He could already smell her scent, and the sadness that was weaved with it. He really had hurt her this time...

He slowly walked up the stairs and crept out the door, running stealthly to the branch closest to her window. It was late, and he knew Kagome would be up...probably cursing him for doing what he did.

"Screw it...I came for a reason, and I'm sure as hell going to follow through." Inu-Yasha told himself when he began to question why he'd come here.

He couldn't stand it anymore. He had hurt this girl so many times when he believed that he was saving her, but no more. He wasn't going to hide his feelings for the girl from the future anymore. He was going to show her the real Inu-Yasha, the one who wasn't a stubborn asshole that didn't care about anyone. He was going to show her what was inside his heart...that he could and did care about the people around him, especially her.

He slowly climbed the tree and perched himself in the shadows of a branch, peering into her room. She was slumped over at her desk, and he could hear her quiet sobs. Next to her was an small mirror, and he could see her sad expression reflected in it.

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

Kagome suddenly knocked the mirror off the desk, causing it shatter on her floor. She couldn't stand what she looked like. She looked so miserable, so sad, so depressed...she just couldn't take it. And most of all, she hated looking like Kikyo.

That was the reason Inu-Yasha probably hung around. So he could see her as Kikyo when the priestess named wasn't around. True, she did try to act like the priestess she had heard of so often, and even would ask her spirit for help during battles. She remembered the first time she had shot an arrow, how she stood there and asked the miko's spirit to help her.

Maybe if she started acting like Kikyo more.....then Inu-Yasha would love her. But wasn't that wrong? Acting like someone to gain the love of another wasn't right, that it wasn't. Kagome had always believed her mother when she told him that love was sacred, and a man would one day love her for what she was, not what she looked like.

Kagome wasn't ugly, she was often told. She had an innocent look to her gentle features, different from many girls her age. She wasn't beautiful either, but caught in the middle. Perhaps the word to describe her was 'pretty', because it seemed that Hojo liked her a lot. And his caring for her was because of who she was....

No! Hojo's a completely different story! Kagome's mind screamed. She wasn't going to think about her classmate now, because there was nothing really to think about. He was a nice boy, but Kagome harbored no feelings of love towards him at all. He was just a friend.

Kagome sighed and sat back up, wiping the tears from her eyes. It was late, and she should already be sleeping. She had school the next day if she decided to stay, and if she went to bed any later she wouldn't be able to stay awake. She sighed once again and looked down to the broken mirror.

She could still see her reflection in the broken pieces, looking back up her. All she wanted was for Inu-Yasha to see her.....as who she was....and not somebody he thought she was. She knelt down and began to pick up the pieces.

There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why

Inu-Yasha jumped when the mirror crashed to the floor, breaking. Then he saw her face, and his heart shattered into just as many pieces. Kagome looked so utterly depressed that even his soul was aching. Why did he have to do those things earlier? Why did he have to be such a jerk?

Inu-Yasha put on a determined look and leapt onto the windowsill, startling Kagome. She glanced up with him with shock, but that was quickly replaced with anger.

"What are you doing here? Come to tell me how weak I am?" She said in demanding tone, the tears still flowing down her cheeks.

Inu-Yasha sighed and knelt down, gathering the broken mirror in his hands. He was silent for a long time before speaking. "No, I came to apologize."

"You, apologize?" Kagome said in an amused tone.

"That's definitely a first."

Inu-Yasha resisted the urge to yell at her right then and there, and counted to ten mentally before speaking again. "Kagome, just listen to me. Today...you were right. I was a complete jerk to you for no reason and I deserved what you said to me." He said sincerely, earning a surprised look from the young girl.

"W-What?" Kagome stuttered, utterly bewildered at the dog demon's sudden onset of sincerety.

"I said those things...to protect you, believe it or not. I know that...you care about me, but...I don't want to see you get hurt because of it. If any of our enemies knew how much you cared about me...they'd use that against you to get the shards." Inu-Yasha continued.

Kagome narrowed her eyes and stood up, turning her back to him. "It's always about those shards...isn't it? Is that all you ever care about? Getting the shards to become a full yokai?"

"NO!" Inu-Yasha yelled, standing up and nearly causing Kagome to fall back down.

"Damnit...Kagome, I said those things because I care about you! I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt because of my feelings...that's why I'm always such an asshole to you! I...do it so...maybe...you'd stop caring for me and wouldn't be in any danger." He admitted, dropping the pieces of the mirror.

Kagome's jaw dropped. He...cares about me? Is he telling the truth?

The girl held a closed fist over her heart and looked down. Could it be true? Did Inu-Yasha just tell her something she would never believe could be true? "I-Inu-Yasha...how do I know this is some cheap idea of yours to get me to come back? How do I know you're telling the truth--"

Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?

She was silenced when the hanyou pulled her close to him and pressed his lips against hers. Kagome blinked rapidly, shocked that he was kissing her...something she had only dreamt about.

They stayed like the for a long time, before Inu-Yasha pulled back to look down at her. "Believe me now?"

The mirai no miko could only stare at him. He was only protecting her...like he promised he would. Kagome was knocked out of her thoughts when Inu-Yasha hugged her tightly. "I can't lie to you anymore, Kagome. It hurts me so much to say those harsh things, and I curse myself everytime to do it. Nothing--no battle wounds or osuwari's could compare to the pain in my heart every time I yell at you. Aishiteru, Kagome."

I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside.....
When will my reflection show Who I am inside?

Kagome felt tears falling from her eyes once again, but they weren't the same tears as before...these were tears of happiness. Kagome wrapped her arms around him just as tight, crying into his hayori. "Oh Inu-Yasha!" He cares...he truly does!

Inu-Yasha rested his chin on her head, taking in her scent. It calmed him so much.... "Kagome, I'm so sorry...please don't cry..."

Kagome pulled away to look up at him, the smile he loved so much on her face. "I'm just so happy...I thought you hated me...you said I was only a shard detector, and I didn't know what to think anymore..."

"I could never, EVER hate you, Kagome. And like I said before, I only said those things to protect you." Inu-Yasha said softly, gently framing her face with his hand.

Kagome placed her hand over his, tilting her head slightly. She looked up at him with sparkling eyes. "Aishiteru, Inu-Yasha, always and forever. I don't care who finds out. I'll always love you."

Inu-Yasha smiled and leaned down to kiss her. This time, the kiss was gentle, unlike the rushed one before that he used to make her believe him. Kagome parted her lips and their tongues met, swirling around each other. They savored each others taste, every second filled with more love than the second before.

The finally separated, lightly panting. Kagome rested her head on his chest, sighing happily. Inu-Yasha hugged her close to his body, never wanting to let her go. He didn't care if anyone found out. If they did, he would protect this girl, the one he held most sacred, with everything he had in his heart and soul. Their secret love would last, and nothing would tear them apart, not Naraku, not Sesshoumaru, and not even Kami himself.

Kagome knew at that moment that their love was sacred. He loved her for her, not because she was a shard detector or a miko's reincarnation. He loved Kagome Higurashi, the school girl who was thrusted into the past for a purpose. Her mother was right; she had found that person who loved her for who she was, and she'd never let him go.


A/N: *Big, long sigh* Wow, 8 pages and almost 4000 words...I think this may be one of the most meaningful things I've ever written. I hope minna-san enjoyed it, because this story is very important to me. There's personal meaning to this story as well...so please review and let me know what you think, it would be greatly appreciated. Arrigatou, and Ja ne!