(A/N: This is a prequel to the prequel in the last chapter.)
Peach's Mansion (the remix)
*****
--Before Peach ruled over the Mushroom Kingdom from her castle, she ruled from a mansion. She lived there with her Mushroom Retainer, Toad. The mansion made her very happy, but there was one problem...
Peach: Bllaaaaargggg!
Toad: I'll get the mop.
--Ever since she moved in she couldn't stop barfing, and they couldn't figure out what it was that made her want to barf so much. She just did it over and over and over again.
Peach: Blllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggg!
--They didn't want to go through the walls to see what's wrong though, that'd ruin the mansion, they just lived as if it was normal.
Toad: Peach, the residents are getting antsy. They're saying that plants aren't growing as well because there's something wrong with the ground.
Peach: Okay......so......?
Toad: ...So do something about it, you're the ruler.
Peach: Why do I have to do something? Don't we have a minister of agriculture or Bllaaaaargggg!
Toad: ...
Peach: Toad it happened again!
Toad: I can see that. And it happened in mid-sentence...yuck.
Peach: (sigh) I just can't figure out why this is happening.
Toad: We both know it has something to do with the mansion, why don't we just leave?
Peach: No! I don't want to leave! I can't! It's so precious...and yet it came so cheap.
Toad: (to himself) Oh give me a f&%$'in break...
Peach: What was that Toad?
Toad: Oh noth...
Peach: Bllaaaaargggg!
Toad: ...
Peach: Yikes...that was a messy one...well chop-chop Toad.
Toad: What is that supposed to mean?
Peach: It means hurry up and start mopping. It can't just sit here all day like the rest of the puddles here. This one already smells like a dead moose.
Toad: You know what Princess, you can do that yourself.
Peach: Huh? You mean me...do it myself?
Toad: Yes you! I don't want to do your dirty work anymore!
Peach: But Toad, you're my slave.
Toad: ......
Peach: Well that's basically what you are....
Toad: I......I'm your slave. That's what you think of me? I thought I was the Mushroom Retainer!
Peach: Mushroom Retainers are just slaves. You know it and I know it. Now clean up my vomit.
Toad: I can't believe you could be so cruel. Why would you...
--Peach blew chunks right in Toad's face.
Toad: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
--Toad stomped out of the mansion and left Peach behind. Angry, Peach got the mop and bucket and cleaned up her vomit.
Peach: ....Stupid Toad....Don't need him....I can clean up my own Bllaaaaargggg....Damn, I did it again Bllaaaaargggg....Arrgh, at this rate I'll never finish Bllllllaaaaaaaaaarggggg!
--Peach began sobbing because she couldn't stop barfing. That made her want to barf more, which made her cry more. She barfed and cried until she finally calmed down and cleaned up the floor.
Peach: Okay all I have to do is not throw-up. It's not really all that Bllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggg!
Mansion: STOP IT!
Peach: ...Who said that?
Mansion: I DID!
Peach: Where are you? I can't see you!
Mansion: Of course you can see me I'm the mansion you screwed up wench! And I have to say that you are without a doubt the grossest, most disgusting human to ever live inside of me.
Peach: I'm Speechless!
Mansion: Now if only you could be barfless.
......
......
......
......crickets......crickets......crickets....
Mansion: THIS REMIX SUCKS!
Peach: Well you're not all that funny.
Mansion: I can't believe you just said that considering you want to live in me!
Peach: I'm just being honest. You're not funny.
Mansion: Well you can't live here if you're gonna say that I'm not funny all day long.
Peach: NO! Uh...you're funny...(cough)...
Mansion: Fine. You can't barf anymore either.
Peach: I won't.
--Peach went over to the side and wrapped tape around her mouth several times over. And than she poured crazy glue over the tape. And then she stapled it. And then she spread wet gravel over the entire mouthpiece.
Mansion: It won't make a difference. You won't last.
Peach: Mmah Mwe Mu Mmwimle Mhaham.
Mansion: And don't you know how unhealthy that is, to keep your barf juice inside. Your body is going to explode and I'm going to have to deal with it.
Peach: Mwamemer Mhaham.
--Peach decided to pass the time by reading some of her favorite books. She pulled over a chair and started with the instruction manual for "Super Mario Kart". When she reached the part about red shells her cheeks began to puff.
Mansion: Oh no. I know what that means.
--The mouthpiece started to shake violently.
Mansion: NO! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!
--The mouthpiece broke.
Peach: BLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG!
Mansion: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHH!
--The mansion tilted forward and stayed there until Peach crashed through front doors. The mansion stood up again and slowly lumbered away.
Peach: Wait! Don't leave me!
Mansion: Uh oh.
--The mansion picked up speed and so did Peach until they were both running down the street.
Peach: Come back!
Mansion: No!
Peach: But...
Mansion: I don't want to hear it!
--Peach couldn't keep up with the mansion as it got further and further away, fading into the distance. The mansion continued to get as far away as possible until it reached a mountain cliff.
Mansion: (wiping the sweat off its brow) Phew! I finally lost her.
--But before the mansion could say anything else a shadow loomed over it. When it turned around Peach was standing on a higher cliff her hair ragged and her dress messed up.
Peach: You can't get away that easily.
Mansion: You again!
--Peach leapt from her cliff and landed on the mansion, causing both of them to tumble over the mountain. They grabbed onto a ledge midfall, the Mansion and Peach hanging on for dear life.
Mansion: I can't believe this happening! This is all your fault Peach!
Peach: It's your fault because you ran away!
Mansion: It's your fault for barfing all the damn day long!
Peach: It's your fault for making me barf! I don't know what it is but there is something in you that makes me feel ill.
Mansion: Don't blame me, blame my shoddy construction!
Peach: Construction.....?
--Suddenly the ledge broke. They spiraled down further and further until they landed in a marsh.
Mansion: ...
Peach: ...Urgh...uh...
--After a few moments a lone shadow walks through the mist and into the swamp. The person picks up Peach in his tiny yet firm arms.
Toad: I know I was a little upset but I'm over it now. You and I both know that we must never part..........MY LOVING BRIDE!
--Creepy organ music starts to play as Toad carries Peach out of the swamp and disappears into the mist.
*****
The End
Peach's Mansion (the remix)
*****
--Before Peach ruled over the Mushroom Kingdom from her castle, she ruled from a mansion. She lived there with her Mushroom Retainer, Toad. The mansion made her very happy, but there was one problem...
Peach: Bllaaaaargggg!
Toad: I'll get the mop.
--Ever since she moved in she couldn't stop barfing, and they couldn't figure out what it was that made her want to barf so much. She just did it over and over and over again.
Peach: Blllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggg!
--They didn't want to go through the walls to see what's wrong though, that'd ruin the mansion, they just lived as if it was normal.
Toad: Peach, the residents are getting antsy. They're saying that plants aren't growing as well because there's something wrong with the ground.
Peach: Okay......so......?
Toad: ...So do something about it, you're the ruler.
Peach: Why do I have to do something? Don't we have a minister of agriculture or Bllaaaaargggg!
Toad: ...
Peach: Toad it happened again!
Toad: I can see that. And it happened in mid-sentence...yuck.
Peach: (sigh) I just can't figure out why this is happening.
Toad: We both know it has something to do with the mansion, why don't we just leave?
Peach: No! I don't want to leave! I can't! It's so precious...and yet it came so cheap.
Toad: (to himself) Oh give me a f&%$'in break...
Peach: What was that Toad?
Toad: Oh noth...
Peach: Bllaaaaargggg!
Toad: ...
Peach: Yikes...that was a messy one...well chop-chop Toad.
Toad: What is that supposed to mean?
Peach: It means hurry up and start mopping. It can't just sit here all day like the rest of the puddles here. This one already smells like a dead moose.
Toad: You know what Princess, you can do that yourself.
Peach: Huh? You mean me...do it myself?
Toad: Yes you! I don't want to do your dirty work anymore!
Peach: But Toad, you're my slave.
Toad: ......
Peach: Well that's basically what you are....
Toad: I......I'm your slave. That's what you think of me? I thought I was the Mushroom Retainer!
Peach: Mushroom Retainers are just slaves. You know it and I know it. Now clean up my vomit.
Toad: I can't believe you could be so cruel. Why would you...
--Peach blew chunks right in Toad's face.
Toad: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
--Toad stomped out of the mansion and left Peach behind. Angry, Peach got the mop and bucket and cleaned up her vomit.
Peach: ....Stupid Toad....Don't need him....I can clean up my own Bllaaaaargggg....Damn, I did it again Bllaaaaargggg....Arrgh, at this rate I'll never finish Bllllllaaaaaaaaaarggggg!
--Peach began sobbing because she couldn't stop barfing. That made her want to barf more, which made her cry more. She barfed and cried until she finally calmed down and cleaned up the floor.
Peach: Okay all I have to do is not throw-up. It's not really all that Bllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggg!
Mansion: STOP IT!
Peach: ...Who said that?
Mansion: I DID!
Peach: Where are you? I can't see you!
Mansion: Of course you can see me I'm the mansion you screwed up wench! And I have to say that you are without a doubt the grossest, most disgusting human to ever live inside of me.
Peach: I'm Speechless!
Mansion: Now if only you could be barfless.
......
......
......
......crickets......crickets......crickets....
Mansion: THIS REMIX SUCKS!
Peach: Well you're not all that funny.
Mansion: I can't believe you just said that considering you want to live in me!
Peach: I'm just being honest. You're not funny.
Mansion: Well you can't live here if you're gonna say that I'm not funny all day long.
Peach: NO! Uh...you're funny...(cough)...
Mansion: Fine. You can't barf anymore either.
Peach: I won't.
--Peach went over to the side and wrapped tape around her mouth several times over. And than she poured crazy glue over the tape. And then she stapled it. And then she spread wet gravel over the entire mouthpiece.
Mansion: It won't make a difference. You won't last.
Peach: Mmah Mwe Mu Mmwimle Mhaham.
Mansion: And don't you know how unhealthy that is, to keep your barf juice inside. Your body is going to explode and I'm going to have to deal with it.
Peach: Mwamemer Mhaham.
--Peach decided to pass the time by reading some of her favorite books. She pulled over a chair and started with the instruction manual for "Super Mario Kart". When she reached the part about red shells her cheeks began to puff.
Mansion: Oh no. I know what that means.
--The mouthpiece started to shake violently.
Mansion: NO! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!
--The mouthpiece broke.
Peach: BLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG!
Mansion: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHH!
--The mansion tilted forward and stayed there until Peach crashed through front doors. The mansion stood up again and slowly lumbered away.
Peach: Wait! Don't leave me!
Mansion: Uh oh.
--The mansion picked up speed and so did Peach until they were both running down the street.
Peach: Come back!
Mansion: No!
Peach: But...
Mansion: I don't want to hear it!
--Peach couldn't keep up with the mansion as it got further and further away, fading into the distance. The mansion continued to get as far away as possible until it reached a mountain cliff.
Mansion: (wiping the sweat off its brow) Phew! I finally lost her.
--But before the mansion could say anything else a shadow loomed over it. When it turned around Peach was standing on a higher cliff her hair ragged and her dress messed up.
Peach: You can't get away that easily.
Mansion: You again!
--Peach leapt from her cliff and landed on the mansion, causing both of them to tumble over the mountain. They grabbed onto a ledge midfall, the Mansion and Peach hanging on for dear life.
Mansion: I can't believe this happening! This is all your fault Peach!
Peach: It's your fault because you ran away!
Mansion: It's your fault for barfing all the damn day long!
Peach: It's your fault for making me barf! I don't know what it is but there is something in you that makes me feel ill.
Mansion: Don't blame me, blame my shoddy construction!
Peach: Construction.....?
--Suddenly the ledge broke. They spiraled down further and further until they landed in a marsh.
Mansion: ...
Peach: ...Urgh...uh...
--After a few moments a lone shadow walks through the mist and into the swamp. The person picks up Peach in his tiny yet firm arms.
Toad: I know I was a little upset but I'm over it now. You and I both know that we must never part..........MY LOVING BRIDE!
--Creepy organ music starts to play as Toad carries Peach out of the swamp and disappears into the mist.
*****
The End