Waiting
Author: Joy
Email: Julianna@ziplip.com
A/N: SeeI didn't make you wait. Things are not perfect at the end of this chapter but they are a lot better than last chapter.
"Talismaniac?"
"Where is my partner?" Danny snipped to Gabriel. "Just because I gave my approval doesn't mean she can ditch work."
Gabriel swallowed slowly trying to sound neutral; "She's not here Danny. She probably is just not feeling well."
"WhateverYou aren't fooling me. You're hiding your Snuggle Bunny over there, I'm sure of it. Sara has never not returned my calls unless a guy was involved."
"She isn't here," the hacker said firmly. "Look Danny, I have a buyer coming by this morning. For some reason people always decide over the weekend they want to purchase a vase belonging to an Inca Princess and get tense that I'm not open on Sunday or Monday."
Danny started to get worried. Gabriel didn't sound at all like his chipper self. "What's going on Gabriel? I haven't heard this level of frustration in your voice since the whole thing with your ex went down."
"I can't help you Danny. You're going to have to find Sara on your own."
"GabrielI haven't been able to reach her since dinner on Friday."
"Well here's a news flashneither have I. Like I said I can't help you."
Danny stared at his phone; "You broke up after dinner?"
"No," Gabriel said exasperated. "More like there were some things that Sara hadn't been facing and I'd been letting it slide. When I realized that the whole marriage answer to your Intentions' question was a big joke to Sara I forced her hand. She is supposed to call or come by when she's done working it out. Saturday was hell, Sunday I drowned myself in family, and yesterday I mainly moped. Today I am trying to concentrate on work."
"You haven't heard from her at all."
"She dropped me off a female version of the Velveteen rabbit I gave her on Saturday morning with a little note. She rang the doorbell and put it down I think she was going out of town. We were supposed to spend her days off together but"
Danny's expression turned grim. "I'm sorry man When I reach her I'll give you an update."
"Please don't. If its over I need her to tell me flat out not eased into it," Gabriel stated.
"Whatever you say. Later man."
"Later."
"Sara Pezinni you open this door right now or I'm jimmying it open!" Danny called banging on the door. He got fed up and busted in. Empty Chinese boxes lay on the counter, beer bottles, and used Kleenex laid around. Danny started to search the apartment. The most prominent thing he noticed was in all the disarray in the kitchen the living room table had in neat piles, documents and research. Sara's handwriting was scribbled on a notepad.
"What the hell is a Witchblade?" he muttered. That's when he saw the photos and sketchesSara's bracelet. He started to study the images and text when he heard movement in the bedroom.
Danny found Sara apparently convulsing on her bed. She looked to be in excruciating pain. He tried to unclasp her hands from her knees touching the glowing eye by mistake. The bracelet had embedded itself in Sara's skin and now recognized a friendly spirit reaching out to him as well. Danny soon found himself pierced by the angry gauntlet. Images swirled in his head of a history that hadn't happened. Being shot and killed as well as haunting Sara after death. As suddenly as it began the images stopped and he was released.
Danny went to the bathroom to inspect his wound as well as get a wet washcloth for Sara. His phone rang, "Hello?"
"HoneyCan you go over to Mai-Ning's? Something is wrong with Ian. She wants to get the doctor from the estate but she doesn't want to leave him alone," Lee said excitedly.
"Why doesn't she just call him?"
"She did. The doctor said that Ian occasionally has these attacks and is fine, she just has to wait."
"LeeSara is sick and Gabriel has a client so I'm taking care of her. If Ian's doctor is aware of the situation and says it happens occasionally convince Mai-Ning just to wait it out."
"I'll try."
Danny looked Sara over and suddenly was struck by a couple things, Ian was sick at the same time with the same description. He lay the wet washcloth on Sara's head and went to the living room to wait.
Sara woke from her visions and stumbled to the bathroom throwing up what little was in her stomach. She felt a presence behind her and smiled. "I was so hoping you would be here when I woke up Would you call Danny for me and tell him I'm okay?"
"I don't know okay is the right word Pez," he said softly.
Sara looked up at him and started to give in to the impulse to cry. "He's not here He didn't come," her body shook with emotions.
Danny knelt beside her in the small bathroom and held her as she cried. "He's worried about yougoing nuts really, but is giving you space."
"I want him here!" she demanded.
Danny urged her to her feet and laid her down on her bed again. "I'll make you some tea." Sara went for the phone. "What are you doing?"
"Calling Gabriel. I don't care what the rules are I need him."
Danny took the phone from her, "Pez stop. He loves you but don't take advantage of that. He has every right to want to know you'll be his and not decide one day that fate was right and you should be with Ian."
"What? How do you know?"
"Why didn't you tell me Pez? I would have believed you. I asked how you found me buriedyou could have told me then," he questioned.
"Danny What do you know exactly?"
"I've been waiting for you to wake up for five hours. I had a lot of time to read." Sara remembered the file Gabriel had compiled. "Ian was seizing too for part of the time you were out. Gabriel had mentioned on Friday if there was someone he was afraid of losing you to it was Ian. Reading the accounts only served to bring things into focus."
Sara leaned down grabbed her rabbit and hugged it close. "Are you mad at me?"
"Sort of I've known you a long time. I thought you would have trusted me with thisIts not like I don't believe in past lives. Hell I tried to move you and thatthing attacked me. I got to see my life or more accurately death if we had walked into that theatre after Gallo. I guess that's why it seemed so important for Lee and I to have another baby. Somewhere inside I knew I was living on borrowed time."
"So you're the wielder?" Danny said with a smirk.
"Don't sound so shocked," Sara muttered.
"I'm guessing Gabriel gave you that info out there?" he questioned.
"Yeah We got home from dinner and got into this really weird fight about Ian. In the end he handed me the file and pretty much said talk to ya when you're done' which I am still pissed about," she groaned.
"Sarahe has the right to want to know you're really with him in this relationship. He is playing for keeps and most of the time you seem to be just playing. It's only logical that he would think its because deep down you want to be with Ian."
She ran her hands over her face and shook her head. "No Danny I don't. I've watched vision after vision. Life and lifeand its never a life. Its battle and death with the possibility for a few moments of happiness mixed in. Mai-Ning looks at Ian and a light goes on inside him because he can feel her love. I don't love him. I can't ask him to give that up especially with everything he's been through. And then there is meI'm not that patient. I need to be the dysfunctional one in the relationship. I'm sorry but I am that high maintenance. It is too much to think about taking on his baggage. I know it's not his fault DannyI really do, but I have enough drama in my life with this thing attached to my arm. I'd prefer my love life be stable."
"That is not a good enough reason to be with Gabriel, Sara. That is love by default."
"I don't love him by default. I love him. I love that he can handle the psychotic nature of my life. I love that he wants to marry me and raise children with me. I love that when I look in his eyes I see something I haven't seen since my dad diedabsolute adoration and unconditional love. Look at this situationthe man finds out I am destined' to be with another and gives me the freedom to chose. I'm not an idiot. I know a good thing when I see it."
"But Sara you have said nothing of how you feel toward him," Danny pushed slowly.
"What are you talking about I just said"
"You just gave reasons to love Gabrielnot that you did love him." Sara sat silently. "This is why he gave you the space. The divide between you is getting larger. You are desperately trying to stay in control so you won't get hurtwhich is killing him. He's drowning in you and has accepted that reality. You are trying so hard to keep your head above water. You won't trust him with your heartHe's going to wait for you, but when you go back it has to be all or nothingno more limbo. You either have to love him with everything you are or you have to cut him lose."
Sara stared up at Danny eyes filled with tears; "I can't do that. I can't give him up."
"Why?"
"Because"
"Because why?" Danny prodded.
Her tears fell, "Because it hurtsworse than anything else. Gabriel Being without Gabriel is I couldn't make it. I couldn't get through the day."
Danny smiled softly hugging her to himself; "You don't marry someone you can live with Sara. You marry someone you can't live without."
"That's too much Danny I don't know how to make that promise. I can't promise always."
He nodded, "Because your next always will most likely be with Ian."
She grit her teeth not in anger but in pain and acceptance, "Yes."
Danny sighed, "Gabriel isn't asking for your always or your forever. He's asking for a promise you can keep to him in this life. One that says there will be no other, not even when things get hard and hurt, not when you look at him and don't feel in love' with him anymore. He is asking for a promise that says despite it all, bracelet or none, Ian or not, that you will come home to him and work at making a family and a life."
"And what if I can't?" she whispered.
"Then you're playing the Tin Man in life Sara."
She stared at him in confusion. Danny tucked some loose hair behind her ear; "Do you even know where this started? Where your fear of love comes from?"
There was no point lyingshe was talking to Danny. He would force her to see the truth, say the words. Sara swallowed and nodded, "My dad He was all I hadand then he was gone because someone took him."
"So you know when your heart was stolen Do you want it back? Cause you know you are defending a heart that isn't there."
"Metaphor guy is in full force huh?" Sara sniffled.
"Sara," Danny sighed, "Years ago you closed your heart off from being hurt. You let your heart die with your dad so you couldn't be hurt again. This may be a foreign concept for you but it wasn't yours to give away."
"Funny, Ian says that about the Witchblade."
"Listen to me," her partner demanded. "In a very real way the old adage you're only hurting yourself is an utter lie. Your heart, the one you buried with your dad, the one that you pretend to protect from all harm and pain was not yours to buryIt was meant for Gabriel or even Ian if the circumstance were different. You don't have the right to keep it from him."
Sara's anger flared out, as did the Witchblade. "Like hell I don't!" she screamed the blade of the sword embedded in the floor. "It is my heart. If I don't want to give it away I won't!"
Danny looked down at the sword and then up at Sara, "What was it you were saying about battle and death with brief moments of happiness?"
She breathed deeply attempting to calm herself. "I don't know why it did that. It normally only reacts when I'm in danger."
He shook his head, "What is more dangerous than the human heart Sara?" The sword withdrew as she sat silent. "Go find your heart Sara. You have someone who will keep it safe for you." Danny leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I am going to go make sure Gabriel isn't climbing the walls." Sara nodded.
She sat alone in her apartment. Looking down at the bracelet on her wrist she said, "So where do I find my heart?" Several images flashed behind her eyes. "I will never be able to enjoy a strobe light again. You know you definitely can never belong to a migraine sufferer," she muttered throwing on her coat.
"Sara?" Ian stated in a rather disconcerted tone. "What are you doing here?"
"Will you to come with me? I need to take care of somethingand I need your help," she said simply.
"Why are you not employing Gabriel for this assignment?" he questioned.
"Because this is about making peace with the past not the future." Ian Nottingham actually smiled at her words. "What?"
"I will be honored to escort you to your father's resting place."
"How did you Never mind. One of these days I will just learn to accept the bond we share I'm working on it," she said steering him toward the motorcycle.
"I think not" he shook his head. "We will take my car."
"Scaredy cat."
"Speed demon."
"Wuss."
"Reckless wench."
Sara turned to him and smirked, "That was very good Nottingham. Now mastering accelerated insults and you'll be ready for the finals."
"Get in the car wielder."
"Of course oh mighty protector."
Danny left Gabriel shortly after eight in the evening. The hacker insisted he would be fine, research awaited him. Danny did not know what type of research however. Gabriel left his apartment and got in his car so he could just drive for a while. As he did every night he blared music and just felt the motion of the carbut he also went by Sara's to catch a glimpse of her. For the first time her apartment was empty and her motorcycle gone. His blood ran cold.
On impulse he drove to the manor. There sat the Burell in the drive way. Whatever remains of Gabriel's heart there had been were crushed into a million pieces. When she was done sorting things out she went to Iannot him.
He was about to drive away when Sara and Ian returned. Gabriel watched as Sara hugged Ian goodbye and got on her bike speeding off oblivious to his presence. The annoying sound of his phone going off grated him. "What?!" Gabriel snapped.
"Are you going to come inside my friend or are you going to jump to very misguided assumptions?" Ian stated from the open door of the manor.
"You wonI lost I don't need you to rub it in."
"Gabrielyou did not lose and I have won for me but not Sara. Now will you come inside."
"What do you mean you have won but not Sara?" the hacker asked agitatedly.
"I am no longer a freak or psycho in the eyes of the one person I was raised to protect. A woman I do not deserve loves me, and I am finally free of the bondage that was Kenneth Irons. I have wonmy life. And you my friend have not lost Sara to me or anyone else Be patient. There was far more on the table then her knowledge of our past together," Ian said eloquently.
"Then why hasn't she called?" Gabriel said dejectedly.
"Did you not ask that she not contact you until she had everything sorted out in her own mind and heart?"
"Yes."
"Then you made a misjudgment Sara has not been in possession of her heart for quite some time You are her future. She is in need of making peace with the past that is not something you can aid in."
Gabriel's mind burned in anger, "But you can?"
"I too am her past. I am one thing to be made peace withthat is all," Ian replied smoothly. There was silence. "I will leave the front door open. Come in when you are ready to receive my hospitality."
Gabriel sighed staring at the manor. Danny had his whole day consumed by this affair. He was not about to interrupt the water ballets of the children's baths. The hacker pulled into the drive and parked his car. This was like walking into the home of your girlfriend's ex husband for sympathy. Oh wellbeggars can't be chosers.
Sara pushed through the door of the small Italian restaurant. A young woman Sara recognized to be Gabriel's cousin Angela stood behind the counter. "Well hi there. Is Gabe with you? Should I get the usual going?" she asked.
"Actually Angela I need two things. One whatever Gabriel's favorite meal is to be ordered for take out for tomorrow night"
"Mama's spaghettiand?"
"I need you to get him out of his apartment tomorrow nightfrom like six to six thirty. I want to set up a special dinner for him as a surprise," Sara explained.
"Can do You want spaghetti too?"
"That's fine."
Angela smiled, "So things are good then?"
"Yeahwhy?"
"I cornered my baby brother on Sunday when he was less than his shining self. I knew he had planned to take you out of town last weekend so his presence was surprising."
"ReallyI meanI didn't know."
"That's why it's called a surprise So whatever was wrong is resolved now?" Angela questioned.
"Yeah I was wrong and now I'm resolved to fix it," Sara stated.
When Gabriel arrived home his female rabbit sat on top of his bed with a note and a copy of the Velveteen rabbit. The book was marked.
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side...
"Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse, "you become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't usually happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
The note read:
To my Snuggle Bunny,
Thank you for making me real. Read our book and hold your bunny. I'll home soon.
I vow to come for you, if you'll wait for me.
Love,
Sara
Gabriel climbed into bed and resisted the impulse he had to call her. Sara would come back to him when she was ready. He would wait He loved her. What other choice did he have?
TBC
A/N: Next chapter may be the end. I have to see how it goes. Just preparing you now for the possibility. I take it back maybe two chapters. Next one will be serious sap and hopefully I'll end on a humorous note.