Chapter 2.
Lana stared at her drink. She was in the Mended Drum, one of Ankh-Morpork's seediest bars, and so it was probably a good idea not too look at what you were drinking unless you wanted to lose your appetite. Still, she was drunk enough not to care too much.
"I was raished to be a goo' lil' girl, righ?" she slurred to the man on her right, who was face down and snoring loudly. "None o' thish dancin on tables an' bein' a semsh- a seamsh-" she gave up, "thing. Sho what'm I s'posd do, huh? I ashk you-" she waved an arm expansively, "What's there f'r a girl like me t' do in a big city? I got m' dignity, but I'll tell you what I ain't got, that's money. Sho I took thish job, righ, thish job as a, as a cleaner. 'M I just s'poshd spend rest o' my life bein a bloody cleaner? I mean, s'not my fault isit? Coulda happened to anyone! I was doin' kay for m'self, keepin' outa trouble, then next thing I know they're askin' me leave! Just causa one lil thing, that's all! S'no way to treat a lady, righ?"
Lana was forced to stop at this point, the reason being the man she was talking to fell off his stool. Still, determined to tell the whole story to someone she turned to the barman for support.
"It'sh nothin' much, huh? I mean, how c'n they jusht fire summon for snorin? S'nothin big, am I righ?"
The barman carried on polishing the glass he was holding, although technically he was just spreading the grease more evenly. "So where are you working now?" he asked.
"'M workin' in the Watchhoushe," she muttered.
There was a sudden drop in the noise level. The barman gave her a careful look. "You work for the Watch, and you came to drink here?"
"Yeah, s'right." She burped, then seemed to notice that her mug was empty. "Hey, mr bar person, any chance of 'nother drink over here?"
"Bloody Watch," someone behind her muttered. There was a general murmur of agreement. "I heard they arrested Lanky Dai last week!"
"Hey, what's wrong with the Watch?" someone else said. "I gotta cousin in the Watch. You gotta problem with Watchmen pal?"
Lana carried on, oblivious to the problems she was causing. "I mean, I can't be th' firs' person to snore in th' order ever can I? They musta had summon before me, righ?"
"That right? That right? Well, let me tell you, if you're so bloody keen on the Watch, then-" the first man swung at the other, "then maybe you c'n give em that for me, yeah?" The man ducked, making him miss and hit the man behind him. That man picked up his chair and threw it at him, hitting the other man by mistake*.
"An' you shoulda seen th' canteen! It took me hours to get that muck off th' table, an' I've only bin workin' there one bloody day-"
The whole Drum was suddenly fighting. There was the general din you get in that sort of fight, made up of people alternatively yelling at each other and yelling at the person who just hit them by accident, punctuated by the crink noise of breaking glass as a table was thrown through the window**.
Lana sipped her beer, not letting a little thing like someone being thrown over her head screaming put her off her tale. "It'sh disgushtin! What'sh a girl to do, huh?"
*This sort of thing happens a lot when people spend hours carefully getting drunk, then decide to pick a fight while too inebriated to aim. Anytime now someone's going to start hitting people with a table.
**Told you so.
~*~*~*~ Lana sat in the canteen, clutching her head and wincing at the slightest sound*. She should probably start cleaning up, she thought, but she didn't technically start work until the Night Shift came back from patrol.
Sergeant Angua walked in, probably looking for somewhere to write her reports. She spotted Lana and grinned. "Rough night?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Lana said.
"Fair enough. I'm Angua. You're the new cleaner, right?"
"Sadly yes. Only 'til next month, though. Keeble said he had someone else working here from then on. After that I'm out on my ear and I have too look for somewhere else to go."
Angua gave her a sympathetic look. "I know what you're going through. When I first came to the city it took me weeks to find a decent job, and that was here of all places."
"You mean you didn't want to work in the Watch?" Lana asked in amazement. She had pictured Angua as being one of those bright-eyed kids who couldn't wait until they were old enough to join up.
"Not at first," she admitted. "I mean, you hear all the stories, and you know the kind of reputation the Watch have..."
"I think I found out last night," Lana said, wincing.
"But really, once you get used to it it's not all that bad."
"Maybe," Lana said uncertainly. A thought struck her. "Hey, you're not trying to recruit me are you?"
Angua laughed. "No, not me. It's Carrot who's more into that sort of thing. He's always getting extra recruits and swearing them in. You should watch some time, it's quite.. educational."
"Carrot? That's a very, ah, interesting name."
Angua stared. "You don't know Carrot?"
"Well unless you mean the sort you get in soup then no. Why, is that so unusual?"
"Yes actually. Everyone knows Carrot. Tall man, red hair? Speaking of which, he should have got back by now. Have you seen him anywhere?"
"Nope, sorry. Doesn't ring a bell."
"Hm. Hey," Angua said suddenly, "I'd better get started on these reports, Mister Vimes wants them by nine. I'll leave you to get cleaning, okay?"
"Yeah, sure," Lana said grimacing. She could hear the rest of the night shift shuffling in, which meant it was time to get to work.
She went into the locker room, trying to find where her broom had got to. Last time she'd seen it, it was in that corner over there.She shuffled past a pile of armour that needed cleaning in an attempt to look behind the lockers.
Lana was wondering about Sergeant Angua. Why had she thought it was strange she didn't know Carrot? And what a name! What was he, tall and orange with green hair?
Lana spotted a large cupboard over at one side and suddenly remembered one of the constables putting her broom in there.
If this Carrot was such a recruit-fanatic, she thought, then maybe he'd put Angua up to talking her into signing up. Lana hoped not- Angua was the first person to be friendly towards her in the city, and she could do with a friend or two here. But if she was just trying to recruit her-
Lana opened the cupboard distractedly. She was just reaching inside to pull out her broom when her hand brushed against something that felt like armour. She looked up-
-and found herself staring into the face of the late Constable Ping.
~*~*~*~
A/N: *bounces up and down happily* At last, I've got into the good part! I'm hoping it will get better from here on, so keep reading people!
Lana stared at her drink. She was in the Mended Drum, one of Ankh-Morpork's seediest bars, and so it was probably a good idea not too look at what you were drinking unless you wanted to lose your appetite. Still, she was drunk enough not to care too much.
"I was raished to be a goo' lil' girl, righ?" she slurred to the man on her right, who was face down and snoring loudly. "None o' thish dancin on tables an' bein' a semsh- a seamsh-" she gave up, "thing. Sho what'm I s'posd do, huh? I ashk you-" she waved an arm expansively, "What's there f'r a girl like me t' do in a big city? I got m' dignity, but I'll tell you what I ain't got, that's money. Sho I took thish job, righ, thish job as a, as a cleaner. 'M I just s'poshd spend rest o' my life bein a bloody cleaner? I mean, s'not my fault isit? Coulda happened to anyone! I was doin' kay for m'self, keepin' outa trouble, then next thing I know they're askin' me leave! Just causa one lil thing, that's all! S'no way to treat a lady, righ?"
Lana was forced to stop at this point, the reason being the man she was talking to fell off his stool. Still, determined to tell the whole story to someone she turned to the barman for support.
"It'sh nothin' much, huh? I mean, how c'n they jusht fire summon for snorin? S'nothin big, am I righ?"
The barman carried on polishing the glass he was holding, although technically he was just spreading the grease more evenly. "So where are you working now?" he asked.
"'M workin' in the Watchhoushe," she muttered.
There was a sudden drop in the noise level. The barman gave her a careful look. "You work for the Watch, and you came to drink here?"
"Yeah, s'right." She burped, then seemed to notice that her mug was empty. "Hey, mr bar person, any chance of 'nother drink over here?"
"Bloody Watch," someone behind her muttered. There was a general murmur of agreement. "I heard they arrested Lanky Dai last week!"
"Hey, what's wrong with the Watch?" someone else said. "I gotta cousin in the Watch. You gotta problem with Watchmen pal?"
Lana carried on, oblivious to the problems she was causing. "I mean, I can't be th' firs' person to snore in th' order ever can I? They musta had summon before me, righ?"
"That right? That right? Well, let me tell you, if you're so bloody keen on the Watch, then-" the first man swung at the other, "then maybe you c'n give em that for me, yeah?" The man ducked, making him miss and hit the man behind him. That man picked up his chair and threw it at him, hitting the other man by mistake*.
"An' you shoulda seen th' canteen! It took me hours to get that muck off th' table, an' I've only bin workin' there one bloody day-"
The whole Drum was suddenly fighting. There was the general din you get in that sort of fight, made up of people alternatively yelling at each other and yelling at the person who just hit them by accident, punctuated by the crink noise of breaking glass as a table was thrown through the window**.
Lana sipped her beer, not letting a little thing like someone being thrown over her head screaming put her off her tale. "It'sh disgushtin! What'sh a girl to do, huh?"
*This sort of thing happens a lot when people spend hours carefully getting drunk, then decide to pick a fight while too inebriated to aim. Anytime now someone's going to start hitting people with a table.
**Told you so.
~*~*~*~ Lana sat in the canteen, clutching her head and wincing at the slightest sound*. She should probably start cleaning up, she thought, but she didn't technically start work until the Night Shift came back from patrol.
Sergeant Angua walked in, probably looking for somewhere to write her reports. She spotted Lana and grinned. "Rough night?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Lana said.
"Fair enough. I'm Angua. You're the new cleaner, right?"
"Sadly yes. Only 'til next month, though. Keeble said he had someone else working here from then on. After that I'm out on my ear and I have too look for somewhere else to go."
Angua gave her a sympathetic look. "I know what you're going through. When I first came to the city it took me weeks to find a decent job, and that was here of all places."
"You mean you didn't want to work in the Watch?" Lana asked in amazement. She had pictured Angua as being one of those bright-eyed kids who couldn't wait until they were old enough to join up.
"Not at first," she admitted. "I mean, you hear all the stories, and you know the kind of reputation the Watch have..."
"I think I found out last night," Lana said, wincing.
"But really, once you get used to it it's not all that bad."
"Maybe," Lana said uncertainly. A thought struck her. "Hey, you're not trying to recruit me are you?"
Angua laughed. "No, not me. It's Carrot who's more into that sort of thing. He's always getting extra recruits and swearing them in. You should watch some time, it's quite.. educational."
"Carrot? That's a very, ah, interesting name."
Angua stared. "You don't know Carrot?"
"Well unless you mean the sort you get in soup then no. Why, is that so unusual?"
"Yes actually. Everyone knows Carrot. Tall man, red hair? Speaking of which, he should have got back by now. Have you seen him anywhere?"
"Nope, sorry. Doesn't ring a bell."
"Hm. Hey," Angua said suddenly, "I'd better get started on these reports, Mister Vimes wants them by nine. I'll leave you to get cleaning, okay?"
"Yeah, sure," Lana said grimacing. She could hear the rest of the night shift shuffling in, which meant it was time to get to work.
She went into the locker room, trying to find where her broom had got to. Last time she'd seen it, it was in that corner over there.She shuffled past a pile of armour that needed cleaning in an attempt to look behind the lockers.
Lana was wondering about Sergeant Angua. Why had she thought it was strange she didn't know Carrot? And what a name! What was he, tall and orange with green hair?
Lana spotted a large cupboard over at one side and suddenly remembered one of the constables putting her broom in there.
If this Carrot was such a recruit-fanatic, she thought, then maybe he'd put Angua up to talking her into signing up. Lana hoped not- Angua was the first person to be friendly towards her in the city, and she could do with a friend or two here. But if she was just trying to recruit her-
Lana opened the cupboard distractedly. She was just reaching inside to pull out her broom when her hand brushed against something that felt like armour. She looked up-
-and found herself staring into the face of the late Constable Ping.
~*~*~*~
A/N: *bounces up and down happily* At last, I've got into the good part! I'm hoping it will get better from here on, so keep reading people!