He was slumped full-length on her couch, sleeping soundly. She quietly watched him, noting the tired bruises beneath his eyes. He looked very worn-out. And it was her fault. She had woken sometime after midnight and traipsed downstairs for a glass of water, only to stop in her tracks as a familiar form became evident on her couch, an afghan likely supplied by her mother covering his slumbering body. He was doing so much for her lately, so many nice things, she was afraid she'd never be able to reimburse him for the time he was wasting on her.
She sipped at the water, wishing idly that the cocoa she was making would hurry up. She wanted to drink something that would fill her with warmth and she knew from experience that hot chocolate was the key to that. Mamoru groaned softly and shifted in position, dark blue eyes sleepily opening as he frowned and managed to move into a sitting position, blinking at his strange surroundings.
"Arigatou, Mamoru." Usagi called lightly from where she was standing before the cool hearth. "You've done so much lately, so much that I will never be able to pay you back for. Arigatou."
He had started at her voice, unexpected in the dim hours before dawn when all the world was silent. "It was nothing, Usagi. I am thankful that I could help you. Are you …how are you feeling?"
"Chilled." She replied. "Chilled, my head is aching something fierce, wobbly, and like I have to vomit."
He rose quickly from the couch, all traces of sleep absent from his graceful movements and his voice as he spoke again. "Usa, lie down, you're very sick. I don't want you to get worse, I want you to get better."
She smiled at him. "Arigatou, iie. My mother is home, Mamoru, you didn't have to stay."
"She insisted that I rest, Usa, just as I am insisting that you do," He answered as he took her arm and carefully led her to the couch, sitting at her side once she had complied. "At least you can sit in your own house if you will not heed good advice by sleeping."
"Mamoru …"
"Hai?"
Usagi swallowed hard past the lump growing in her throat. "Could you leave please? Go back to your house, get some real sleep before you have to go to work or school or whatever. I am tired of being a burden on everyone."
"But, Usagi, you aren't," He started.
"Please, Mamoru …just go …when I'm ill I don't like dealing with anyone because I get cranky and I don't want to hurt you. Please, Mamoru …"
He clasped her hands for a moment, squeezing gently before rising without a word and picking his jacket up from the arm of the couch. "Usa, if you need me, give me a ring. I know Shingo has my number written down somewhere …" He trailed off and quickly shrugged into his jacket. "Sweet dreams, odango." He called quietly as the door closed behind him and Usagi sat alone in the pale darkness, wishing he still held her hands, wishing his reassuring presence was at her side still, wishing for a thousand things that she had just callously sent away.
* * *
Ikuko smiled wistfully as she came to the base of the stairs. Usagi stood near the large bay window in the den, a steaming mug of cocoa resting on the coffee table and a chocolate chip muffin between her hands. "What are you doing up this early?" Ikuko asked quietly.
Usagi permitted herself a small smile. "Eating breakfast," She replied lightly.
"Have you slept at all? It's six thirty in the morning."
The golden-haired child sighed softly but did not speak. Ignoring the inquiry, she took a bite out of the muffin and placed it on a napkin beside her cocoa, swallowing the morsel she had taken off. "I'm not hungry." She murmured in response to her mother's unvoiced question. The sleeves of her wintergreen sweater fell back from her slender wrists as she lifted her arms to stretch in the pool of dawn sunshine. Ugly purple bruises stood out in stark clarity against her creamy new milk complexion and she quickly lowered her arms, the slumping of her posture and understanding gulp testimony to her awareness that her mother knew. Ikuko noticed Usagi's small hands shaking as she lifted the delicate porcelain cup to her lips to take a sip of the cocoa, saw unshed tears glistening in her daughter's eyes …felt the waves of countless emotions flooding from the distraught young woman. Wordlessly Ikuko moved to her daughter's side as the cup fell from Usagi's fingers and bounced once on the pristine white carpet, the murky contents spilling forth and staining almost upon contact.
Usagi sank into Ikuko's caring hug, silent tears coursing down her tender cheeks as she trembled with the effort to hold back her pain. And then the dam broke. She buried herself in the comfort of her mother's presence and touch and wept brokenly, not the characteristic wails of a troubled teenage girl, but heart wrenching sobs of one who had seen too much too soon. Together, mother and daughter cried as the sun rose in the sky, signaling the arrival of a new day. At first they were tears of release …of hurt, shards of a shattered innocence that melted into tears of healing, and slowly the two returned from the brink.
Their tears were abiding, salty streaks drying on cheeks when Usagi finally spoke up again. "You knew,"
Ikuko smiled gently at her daughter. "I knew you didn't have a klutz attack. Are you ready to talk?"
Usagi paused and lowered her eyes, chest heaving as she bit down on her lower lip. After a long moment she raised her gaze again and nodded mutely. Wordlessly, Ikuko pulled her down to the floor, sitting next to her with her arm wrapped securely about her baby girl's shoulders. "Momma …I'm not sure I want Daddy to know. He …wouldn't take it well. Can, can we please just keep this between us …for now?"
"Of course, baby, you can tell him whenever you're ready. I'm here for you now to listen and to be your friend, not your mother and not a tattletale to easily provoked fathers." Ikuko joked lightly.
"Arigato, momma, but I'd like it if you were my mother now too." She took a deep breath and let it out in a rush, pursing her lips as she debated whether or not to reveal everything. But it was past time that her mother knew the truth …the whole truth and her heart ached to get everything into the open. "I don't really have the energy to make you believe me right now, but I can show you the proof later on," She forewarned, gulping. "I'm Sailor Moon, momma, I fight against youmas to protect our world and I'm searching for the Moon Princess and the Mystical Silver Crystal. Together, with Sailors Mars and Mercury …and Tuxedo Kamen, we work to bring about the downfall of the Negaverse. I'd love to tell you everyone's real identities, but I'm afraid that I can't do that. It would require breaking the trusts I have with them, and besides, I'm sure you could guess now anyway."
"I'm proud of you, sweetie," She whispered, tightening her hold and kissing her daughter's cheek.
Usagi managed a weak smile. "Arigato, momma." Now came the really hard part. "These …marks, didn't come from a youma battle though …or any klutz attack. I never meant to lie to you, momma, but I wasn't ready to talk to anyone. After visiting the Crown and talking with Mamoru about the horrible nightmares I've been having, nightmares I can't even remember and this languid feeling I can't shake off, I started home. It was getting late, but I hadn't noticed and the rain was falling heavily, but the thunder and lightning wasn't enough to really scare me …but before I could get too far, a man came from the shadows and grabbed my wrists. I tried to break loose, but then he slapped me. He picked me up from the ground and he slammed me against the wall of a building. His hands started to …to go places now that I was dazed and the fright almost made me faint, and he had a knife to my throat …and then, then …"
Ikuko felt tears coursing down her face again and wiped the silent symbols of hurt from her daughter's cheeks as Usagi took a ragged breath and went on. "And then …Mamoru was there, and he tackled the guy. They were wrestling on the street and Mamoru knocked him around before the guy went unconscious …and I can't really remember what happened after that …just that Mamoru was there, but he wouldn't come near me …and then he finally came over and lifted me into his arms and carried me home."
She was shaking again and clung desperately for her mother. "If he hadn't been there …if he hadn't come along and beaten that man …I could have been …I …I …" She stammered helplessly, collapsing into fresh tears. Ikuko was eternally thankful that Kenji was out of town and Shingo at a friend's, she wasn't sure how she could have salvaged anything from the current situation without telling part of what Usagi had just said.
"Oh my poor little baby," Ikuko whimpered. She wasn't precisely concerned with Usagi being a Sailor Soldier because she had a feeling all along that something was up when she ran off all the time and came back babying her right hand and sporting hurts that were gone within a few hours. She managed to stifle her own tears long enough to flash her daughter a cracked smile and murmured, "I guess Mamoru isn't as bad as you have always claimed," She knew of course, that Mamoru was the object of Usagi's affection, though whether her own daughter knew that was still debatable and from what she knew of the young man, he was intelligent, caring and a trifle distant. She had run into him one day while grocery shopping when he offered to carry her bags back home. He had been polite and possessed a strength she envied, but his dark blue eyes had been pained as they had walked past little families on the street and by the playground. She wasn't sure what skeletons were in his closet, but she felt sure that they weren't dangerous, just that they were the source of his hurt.
"Oh, momma!" Usagi exclaimed weakly, laughing despite herself. "You don't understand, he's been so nice to me lately! He gave me a ride to school one morning on his motorcycle and bought me a cocoa and …" She squirmed around to grab something from the coffee table and grinned triumphantly at the chocolate chip muffin through her moist eyes. "This! And his arms around me …when he held me for the first time …not after …after …the incident," She swallowed hard and forced another smile. "Momma, I think I may be falling in love." Her eyes glazed over in pleasure and she wrapped her arms about herself, sighing softly.
Ikuko cried again, this time in joy for her daughter. She wasn't sure how she knew, but she was beyond sure that Mamoru was absolutely perfect for her little girl. And she had a feeling that he liked Usagi as well. Her heart seemed about to burst within her chest, so happy she was for Usagi and so grateful she was for Usagi's savior, Chiba Mamoru. She reminded herself to invite the young man over to dinner sometime and to thank him beyond all measure of the word for preserving Usagi's dignity and her innocence, which while in shambles, was still intact. Indeed, if Mamoru had not shown up when he had …a shudder ran through her at this prospect and she felt bile climb into her throat. Unable to properly express how relieved she was, she merely threw her arms around Usagi and hugged the living daylights out of the golden child, feeling immeasurably elated when her daughter squeezed back.