A/N: Since this is turning into a massive crossover, I'll be moving it into the anime crossover category as of next chapter. Just didn't want y'all to miss the move.
Lucia: Hi, welcome back, all! Here we are on a strange planet, about to go spread angst to the masses! Wheee!
[she receives strange looks from the other characters present]
Lucia: [bangs on Subaru's shut door] Are you two ready _yet_?
Kamui: [opens the door abruptly, causing Lucia to fall into him]
Lucia: Oops.
Relena: [muttered] Oops my backside. She was trying to cop a feel.
Lucia: [sweetly] Not from him. Maybe from you….[winks]
Relena: ….
[Subaru appears behind Kamui and helps him up. They exit the room, looking rather tousled; Kamui's shirt is untucked and both guys look like they need a hair brush.]
Seishirou: [observing how messy they look] [glaaaaaare]
Lucia: Seishirou, you are not going to be able to kill Kamui by glaring at him. If I could have my posterboys and cabin boys come with me, we'll go spread some angst. [hands them each a bag of books]
Trunks: Shall I open the hatch?
Subaru: Hey, that's my job! [There is a brief scuffle, which Trunks wins. He presses the button for the hatch, and the characters all descend onto the strange planet.]
Shinji: Weird.
Kamui: Look who's talking.
Lucia: Hey, lookie! There's something over there!
Trunks: It appears to be a foreign life form.
Shinji: Aliens, ewwww.
Trunks: First off, I'm an alien, and second off, we're technically the aliens here.
Alien: [slithers up] Welcome to the planet Tobor. Prepare to be eaten.
Subaru: …Excuse me?
Alien: We haven't eaten since the last ship landed here a hundred years ago. [Dozens of menacing looking aliens ooze out of the ground]
Lucia: [looks alarmed] Crud, I've read about this planet. Everyone, back on the ship, back on the ship!
[They all turn around, only to find more aliens behind them, blocking their way]
[Vanyel and Trunks take the initiative and begin to blow shit up. Lan quickly follows, lighting alien blobs on fire.]
Relena: Now you have to feel sorry for me. I can't blow stuff up to take out my frustration. The rest of these characters can.
Lucia: [nods in sympathy.]
Kamui: [Lets out a yell. All aliens in the vicinity are vaporized. The group, let by Lucia, charges back on the ship.]
Shinji: [to Kamui] Wow. How did you do that?
Kamui: [shrugs] Phenomenal cosmic power?
Lucia: Subaru, you're supposed to have been trained to fly this ship. Please get us off the ground now and for heaven's sake please don't use autopilot.
Kamui: I've studied the records of other civilizations. Subaru, when you get us into space, set the ship for coordinates 56924-B and 492-4994-DJ.
Subaru: Got it. [glares at Trunks] No more piloting my ship.
Trunks: [looking guilty] Right.
[After a few minutes of activity, everyone flops back into chairs except for Subaru.]
Subaru: Well, Kamui? Let's get back to what we were doing before we were so rudely interrupted to go spread angst to a planet full of hostile and hungry aliens.
[Kamui jumps up and follows Subaru, smirking at Seishirou. Seishirou makes a noise very much like a dog growling as Kamui passes him. Just before Subaru's bedroom door shuts, Kamui sticks his tongue out at Seishirou.]
Kamui: Nyah, nyah, I'm getting some and you're not. [Subaru's hand reaches from inside the room and drags Kamui inside.]
[A half hour later]
Seishirou: Aaaagh! I can't take it any more! Subaru, I love you! [Runs over and pulls open Subaru's door]
Subaru: Full house.
[Kamui and Subaru are sitting on the bed with a carton of ice cream and some very chocolate-covered sheets. There are two spoons sticking out of the ice cream. Kamui's eyes suddenly widen as he looks towards the door. He jerks his head towards Seishirou, who is gaping in the doorway.]
Subaru: Oh, hi, Seishirou.
Seishirou: You- you-
Subaru: I love you, too, Seishirou.
Seishirou: …You…
Subaru: You said that already.
Relena: [right behind Seishirou] Aaaa! Do you know how difficult it's going to be to get those stains out of those sheets?
Subaru: No. And who cares?
Relena: I'm the one who's gonna have to bleach them! I mean, look at the other two women on this ship! [everyone turns to look at Hokuto and Lucia, who are having a contest to see who can lick the stripe off a candy cane faster]
Lan: Well, most of the guys are gay…
Relena: Yet they're still eating ice cream in bed.
Lan: Right. I'm staying out of this.
Subaru: [gives Kamui a look]
Kamui: Oh! Right! I'll clean the sheets! [quickly strips the bed and shoves everyone out of the room.] Show's over!
[An hour later]
Lucia: …Subaru's not going to be angsty any more, is he?
Hokuto: Not likely, no.
Lucia: Fine. Vanyel, you're promoted to captain, seeing as you're closest. [hits a big red button labeled "eject".] Bye Subaru, Seishirou. We'll miss you.
Next chapter: Lucia gets a mail-order bishounen, and the characters give up on any pretense of spreading angst.
Lucia: Hi, welcome back, all! Here we are on a strange planet, about to go spread angst to the masses! Wheee!
[she receives strange looks from the other characters present]
Lucia: [bangs on Subaru's shut door] Are you two ready _yet_?
Kamui: [opens the door abruptly, causing Lucia to fall into him]
Lucia: Oops.
Relena: [muttered] Oops my backside. She was trying to cop a feel.
Lucia: [sweetly] Not from him. Maybe from you….[winks]
Relena: ….
[Subaru appears behind Kamui and helps him up. They exit the room, looking rather tousled; Kamui's shirt is untucked and both guys look like they need a hair brush.]
Seishirou: [observing how messy they look] [glaaaaaare]
Lucia: Seishirou, you are not going to be able to kill Kamui by glaring at him. If I could have my posterboys and cabin boys come with me, we'll go spread some angst. [hands them each a bag of books]
Trunks: Shall I open the hatch?
Subaru: Hey, that's my job! [There is a brief scuffle, which Trunks wins. He presses the button for the hatch, and the characters all descend onto the strange planet.]
Shinji: Weird.
Kamui: Look who's talking.
Lucia: Hey, lookie! There's something over there!
Trunks: It appears to be a foreign life form.
Shinji: Aliens, ewwww.
Trunks: First off, I'm an alien, and second off, we're technically the aliens here.
Alien: [slithers up] Welcome to the planet Tobor. Prepare to be eaten.
Subaru: …Excuse me?
Alien: We haven't eaten since the last ship landed here a hundred years ago. [Dozens of menacing looking aliens ooze out of the ground]
Lucia: [looks alarmed] Crud, I've read about this planet. Everyone, back on the ship, back on the ship!
[They all turn around, only to find more aliens behind them, blocking their way]
[Vanyel and Trunks take the initiative and begin to blow shit up. Lan quickly follows, lighting alien blobs on fire.]
Relena: Now you have to feel sorry for me. I can't blow stuff up to take out my frustration. The rest of these characters can.
Lucia: [nods in sympathy.]
Kamui: [Lets out a yell. All aliens in the vicinity are vaporized. The group, let by Lucia, charges back on the ship.]
Shinji: [to Kamui] Wow. How did you do that?
Kamui: [shrugs] Phenomenal cosmic power?
Lucia: Subaru, you're supposed to have been trained to fly this ship. Please get us off the ground now and for heaven's sake please don't use autopilot.
Kamui: I've studied the records of other civilizations. Subaru, when you get us into space, set the ship for coordinates 56924-B and 492-4994-DJ.
Subaru: Got it. [glares at Trunks] No more piloting my ship.
Trunks: [looking guilty] Right.
[After a few minutes of activity, everyone flops back into chairs except for Subaru.]
Subaru: Well, Kamui? Let's get back to what we were doing before we were so rudely interrupted to go spread angst to a planet full of hostile and hungry aliens.
[Kamui jumps up and follows Subaru, smirking at Seishirou. Seishirou makes a noise very much like a dog growling as Kamui passes him. Just before Subaru's bedroom door shuts, Kamui sticks his tongue out at Seishirou.]
Kamui: Nyah, nyah, I'm getting some and you're not. [Subaru's hand reaches from inside the room and drags Kamui inside.]
[A half hour later]
Seishirou: Aaaagh! I can't take it any more! Subaru, I love you! [Runs over and pulls open Subaru's door]
Subaru: Full house.
[Kamui and Subaru are sitting on the bed with a carton of ice cream and some very chocolate-covered sheets. There are two spoons sticking out of the ice cream. Kamui's eyes suddenly widen as he looks towards the door. He jerks his head towards Seishirou, who is gaping in the doorway.]
Subaru: Oh, hi, Seishirou.
Seishirou: You- you-
Subaru: I love you, too, Seishirou.
Seishirou: …You…
Subaru: You said that already.
Relena: [right behind Seishirou] Aaaa! Do you know how difficult it's going to be to get those stains out of those sheets?
Subaru: No. And who cares?
Relena: I'm the one who's gonna have to bleach them! I mean, look at the other two women on this ship! [everyone turns to look at Hokuto and Lucia, who are having a contest to see who can lick the stripe off a candy cane faster]
Lan: Well, most of the guys are gay…
Relena: Yet they're still eating ice cream in bed.
Lan: Right. I'm staying out of this.
Subaru: [gives Kamui a look]
Kamui: Oh! Right! I'll clean the sheets! [quickly strips the bed and shoves everyone out of the room.] Show's over!
[An hour later]
Lucia: …Subaru's not going to be angsty any more, is he?
Hokuto: Not likely, no.
Lucia: Fine. Vanyel, you're promoted to captain, seeing as you're closest. [hits a big red button labeled "eject".] Bye Subaru, Seishirou. We'll miss you.
Next chapter: Lucia gets a mail-order bishounen, and the characters give up on any pretense of spreading angst.