Chapter 7

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Kirei Ame Park

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He strolled leisurely, not really in a bored way as much as it was a casual walk. His eyes were focused calmly at the park gates ahead of him, then at a nearby bench under a cherry tree. He sat down and waited for Momo, wondering if she would even show up. She probably thinks I'm crazy – what was I thinking, making that phone call?

His hands grazed over the carved words on the bench. Some punk kids carved various obscenities and profanities into the wood. Not exactly a very romantic bench, ne?

Just then, he looked up and saw her.

Momo's hair was wet, as if she had taken a shower, and it was pulled up in a messy bun. Feather-light blonde hair spilled from it and settled on her dark shoulders. She had on only a simple blue tank top and a pair of ratty jeans. Her sandals made a soft thwop-thwop sound as she approached him, almost shyly. He grinned. " Hey, Momo."

" Hi." She eyed him curiously and finally put her hands on her hips. " I thought you were having a nervous breakdown or something, Kiley. What's wrong?"

" It's a long story. Sit down." Kiley said.

Momo sat down on the opposite end of the bench, leaving about forty centimeters of room between them. Momo spoke first after the momentary silence: " This isn't a joke, is it?" She looked nervous. " You little pumpkin! If you brought me out here just so you can laugh about it, then I hope you know I was really concerned!" Her cheeks flamed.

" No, please." Kiley doubled over, his forehead resting on his left knee, his hands flopped down so his knuckles brushed the ground. He looked defeated. With a groan, he braided his fingers behind his neck and moaned out: " Oh, I can't say it!"

She patted the top of his head, unsure of what else to do. He sat back up, taking her hand in his, concentrating on her square-tipped, pink fingernails. This somehow gave him the courage to continue, though his voice was still shaky: "I… uh… I…" He wanted to keep himself from laughing. There was something so comical about this that it was nearly pathetic. I always have something stupid to say and do, and when I really need to do or say something, I can't get anything out.

" I wanted to let you know that I'll always be there for you. You know, just looking out for you." Kiley said, finally. " Plus, I wanted to say that it felt really good to finally do something and leave Toji in the dust."

Momo's eyebrows raised. " Well, uh…"

Kiley looked at her shiny, strawberry-scented lips. He loved her new lip-gloss, he noticed it the moment he first talked to her on the first day she wore it. He always memorized the tiniest bit that was new about her. Her image was constantly fresh and beautiful in his mind. He knew he'd blow it all if he did something stupid again, like try to kiss her. Instead, he kept staring at her fingernails, knowing that he can't look at her face, and it would be perverted to look at her breasts or thighs. " I don't need you to pay me back." He said, finally. " I guess I sort of sounded mean on the phone. I'm sorry about that. You… you wouldn't understand." This is it. I'm back where I started. Yu told me to at least try to make her understand, but I just… can't.

Momo pulled up the strap of her tank top since it had slipped down her tanned arm. Her nails out of access, Kiley knew he had to talk fast before he went off an impulse again. " Okay, you promise you won't hit me?" He began.

She frowned. " Well, if you DARE try anything funny, I'll knock you into next week!"

Kiley sighed. " I don't think it'll be anything like what you think. I just… need you to listen. I know you probably won't like hearing it, but I'll leave you alone if you listen. Forever, if you want."

She realized this must be something serious. " You're not dying, are you?" She exclaimed. Her fingers poked at his stomach. " Internal bleeding?" She looked confused and then worried. " That… that guy in the hotel didn't mess you up too bad, right?"

" No, stop." He grabbed her wrist and then guided her hand back onto her lap. His eyes jerk upwards so he was looking at the sky. I look like an idiot. " Momo, I… I like you. A lot, okay?" He didn't wait for any sort of reply though. He continued: " I'd do anything for you. The only thing I think about at home is you. When I see another girl, I just compare her to you. Momo, I know you probably think I'm just being a pervert again, and all that, but… I just really want to kiss you. For real, without getting hit in a personal spot." He winced at the memory.

Momo's eyes were wide as saucers. Her mouth opened slightly, then closed again, like a fish out of water. She didn't know what to say, didn't know if there were any words left to say.

" That's all I want. I swear I won't tell Toji. I don't want to look at Toji." Kiley didn't mean to sound negative, but now that he got that out, he continued: " In fact, I can't stand Toji anymore. I did everything to help you and him get together, and what do I get? He's still a real bastard towards me. And you know what else? Do you think it's chance that I and Toji happened to arrive at the same time to help you? No! He saw you but then he went to get me. I would have never done that. I'd have run after that rapist and stopped him, but he went and got me."

" Kiley…"

He kept going, finally on the right track: " And you know what? Maybe I am messed up. I don't even know anymore. So yeah, I like girls, and I'm a pervert, but that's not how I am at home. At home I just sit around thinking about you and being depressed. I bet you don't even believe me. Just please let me get this all out, and then I'll leave you alone, I promise. Then you can be with your precious Toji, and…"

" I…" She had moved closer, but he didn't make anything of it.

" … I won't have to be in the picture anymore. I just like you so much, and I know everything about you, I think. I like your strawberry lip gloss and that perfume that smells like peaches, and your favorite purple hair barrette, and I like your favorite hoop earrings that you wore to school last week." He looked down at his own hands to make sure they wouldn't start shaking. " You never, ever even asked about me, though. In school you never ask how I'm doing, or how I feel, or how it is at home. I don't know, maybe that's good, because at home it's like hell sometimes, you know?"

" Kiley, please, I…"

" I always asked about you, though, and if I didn't ask, I'd always wonder about how you were doing, how you were getting along." Kiley's voice trailed off. " That's all I wanted to say. I know, I talk too much, and I'm a pumpkin, right?" His eyes were filled with hurt. " I guess perverted pumpkins don't have feelings." He added, as an afterthought: " But maybe Kiley Okayasu does."

Momo's eyes were filled with tears. Kiley wouldn't even let her say anything. Now that he looked ready to start raving again, she did something that was so intact with her deepest instinct that she didn't even give herself time to think over and register what she was doing. Later on she might regret it, but right now all she felt was a wave of guilt and unsteady feelings, and she grabbed the collar of his basketball jersey and pulled him close into a kiss.