…:: Chapter 8::…

Kirei Ame Park

…::…

She was the one to pull back, breathlessly, her eyes half-closed in pleasure. Suddenly, she felt another wave of guilt – Momo knew she had to make a choice between Toji and Kiley. She would never be able to hurt Toji's feelings, not after everything they've been through in order to be together. Then again, what did Kiley go through just so he could be here at this point and time? It was a sickening, worrisome feeling that haunted her now.

" Kiley, I…"

" No, it's okay. I know… you love Toji. It's fine. I've learned to live with it." Kiley whispered. " Thank you, though. That was really good." He made a little tiger growl and added: " I should save you more often."

She rolled her eyes in frustration but smiled in an unsure way. " I… I just don't know what to say."

" As I said, it's okay. Don't even think about it again." Kiley said, softly. " You're not mad?"

Momo looked as if she would cry. " Why would I be mad?" She raised her arms upwards and Kiley flinched away, covering his head. She grimaced. " I'm not going to hit you!" She pulled him closer and hugged him, her chin resting on his shoulder so that she was looking over his shoulder and out at the little cobblestone road and at the wrought-iron park gates.

Kiley seemed to be limp in her arms though. He didn't return the hug. His eyes were downcast and his body slightly concave so he wasn't really touching her as much as she was simply holding him close. His hands remained at his sides, balled up into fists. The painful feeling in her stomach returned again. It was a feeling that was a lot different then she felt about Toji. When Toji would kiss her or hug her, she felt safe and warm, but that was all. She just liked the warmth and safeness he gave her, a similar one that she remembered from her toddler days, when her mother would sometimes sit her down on her lap and read books with her, the warmth of her body strong and soft. Momo liked that safe feeling, it was a feeling of bonding. Yet, with Kiley, she felt another feeling, a new one. For him, she had given her all. Her kiss was passionate and long, and his body felt as if it radiated in her arms. It was a wanting, longing feeling.

Momo couldn't believe her thoughts. She felt passion and wanting around Kiley and brotherly love and safety around Toji. She realized that her love for Toji was entirely different, it had grown to simple and unreturned adoration after her long-time crush on him. Her feelings were confusing her. " Kiley, I… I really do feel something for you. I won't lie to you, I do feel for you."

He laughed. " You feel that I'm a pervert."

She nodded. " That too, but also… something else. I don't know, its' very different from what I feel around Toji though. Around you, I feel free and natural, too, but other then that, there's little common ground about my feelings."

Kiley crossed his arms. " Well, yeah. I know how you feel about me. You always manage to connect the word friend to my name. Do you think I didn't notice?"

Momo blushed suddenly. " I thought you were always joking when you said… those things…" Her stomach was hurting incredibly. She knew the feeling well – butterflies, as her mother would call them. She had butterflies in her stomach. She used to feel butterflies around Toji long ago, before she just ended up feeling safe and warm around him. Like a brother.

She stood up just then. " Kiley, I should go. I'm sorry. I… I feel like I did something really wrong." The kiss had finally awoken the dormant real feelings she had, the truth between her relationship to Kiley and her relationship to Toji.

" I understand." Kiley replied. He looked happy though, as if he let something big off his chest. " Well, see ya."

Momo bit her lower lip and fought an urge to kiss him again. I have to try and kiss Toji today. I have to know if the feeling during a kiss with Toji and a kiss with Kiley is the same. If not… if Kiley's is the only one that makes me feel so passionate and wanting… and if Toji's only gives me familiar warmth… I… I …

She rushed away, wishing that she had never woken up these feelings for Kiley. She didn't want to break any hearts. Toji and her were so happy, and Kiley seemed to be doing alright. At least he could manage a break up. Momo had never broken up with a boy, but she figured Toji didn't have too many girlfriends. He might be crushed.

What am I thinking? Momo thought, as she left the park. I'm acting as if I'm considering breaking up with Toji for… for Kiley. She had almost thought of him as 'pumpkin' again. Looking back at Kiley, still sitting on the park bench, she felt the butterflies again. Oh, no… what have I done?

…::…

Toji's apartment

…::…

Momo knocked on the door once, then twice. She wasn't used to coming to Toji's house. She waited impatiently as she heard shuffling inside, and then the locks on the door slid aside and Toji's head peeked out. " Oh! Hi!" He exclaimed, seeing her. He pulled the door open inwards and then motioned at the couch. " Come in."

Momo nodded and sat down on the couch. She smiled at him, then looked confused again.

" Is everything okay?" Toji asked.

She nodded slowly.

He didn't look convinced, but at least he wasn't asking any questions. His hand reached out and curled a strand of blond hair behind her ear, and she melted under his touch. " Oh, Toji." She grinned at him. " Just having an… unusual day, that's all." Her cheeks flushed.

" Can I get you anything to drink?" He was moving towards the kitchen already.

" Water will be fine." Momo replied. She used to like apple juice a lot for some time when she was a little girl, but eventually she grew out of it and now she was sick of it. She fiddled with the tassels on the throw over Toji's couch as he took out two glasses and poured water in them. He returned with the water and a plate of cookies.

" My mom likes to bake cookies at random." Toji explained with a laugh, putting the cookies down in front of her. He grabbed one and popped it into his mouth.

Momo smiled back. So, when do I ask him to kiss me? How do I do it without making a fool of myself? She bit her lower lip in thought. She remembered kissing Kiley again and for some reason, it didn't make her feel as guilty as it made her feel excited. She must have been flushed again because Toji joked: " You don't have to be embarrassed around me. You can have something to eat."

Momo took a cookie and ate it. Toji seemed to wait for her to tell about why she was there, so Momo began: " I just wanted to see you, see how you were doing. I feel so jumpy lately after the incident, and since you were there, you saw how I must have felt… it just feels comforting to be around you."

Toji nodded and then downed his entire glass of water. He took two more cookies. For someone with a lean body like his, he really ate a lot. His mouth partially full, he said: " Aha, I see."

Momo didn't think it would be good to kiss him with his mouth full so she slowly moved the cookie plate aside and looked into Toji's eyes. She never really knew how to make a boy just kiss you at the right time, because obviously Kiley would kiss her for no reason at all, anytime, and he never needed reasons to do what he did. Which is sort of an attractive quality, I think. Though it did get annoying sometimes.

Momo was glad she put on lip-gloss – it gave her the fuller, shinier look. She pouted her lips out a bit, in a very kiss-able way, and then she watched Toji. He was quicker to pick things up at this point. He leaned forwards, his lips skimming hers before their lips joined. They kissed and Momo listened in to the feelings inside of her. No fireworks exploded, nothing blew up. He rested a hand on her breast, which made her feel nervous, but other then that, she didn't feel anything much. Just that familiar, overpowering warmth and the feeling of protection. But the real passion seemed to explode when she kissed Kiley.

And another thing… I was able to kiss Kiley first this time, and he didn't even make much of a move at me. Momo felt a bit afraid now. She had just led Toji on for the kiss, and now it would be really hard to tell him the truth. She sighed and pulled away and gave him a bright smile. " I feel a lot better. I think I'll go back home." She was standing up, ready to leave.

Toji took her hand. " Don't worry about the incident. It's over. I'll always be here to protect you." He gave her the "L" symbol with his hands and then waited to see her reaction. She gave him the signal back, but rather feebly.

" Love you." Toji whispered into her hair as she walked out the door. She turned to say something, anything in reply, but the door had shut behind her. Toji, I feel like a really bad person now. But what do I do? I really do feel for you, but … in an entirely different way then for Kiley. Why didn't I notice all this before I led you on like this?

…::…

Okayasu Apartment

…::…

Kiley was lying on his couch as if he were in a coma. His hand kept shooting up to his lips, his fingers grazing over the area where Momo kissed him. It felt as if it were still burning merrily, as if the kiss was seconds ago, and not nearly an hour and a half ago. Yu had simply stared at him for a while and then nodded knowingly before leaving for work.

Since there wasn't any school that day, Kiley didn't know what else to do with himself. He sat there, feeling as if he were in euphoria. His eyes stared at the slowly spinning ceiling fan above him, his eyes following it lazily. There was so little to do!

Having Yu out of the house, he could have done a number of things to amuse himself, but he didn't really feel in the mood. Just as he was thinking about turning the television on and checking the news, the doorbell rang. Then, it rang again.

Kiley dragged himself off the couch. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but he figured that whomever was at the door wouldn't care much about it. He opened his door and then saw Momo standing there, tears in her eyes. " Don't tell me some guy tried it again?" He asked.

" Kiley!" She simply said, and then she burst into tears: " I couldn't do it! I couldn't say it…"

" Whoa, what are you talking about?" He glanced down at himself. Suddenly, he really wished he had his shirt on. She'll think I'm a pervert again. His eyes scanned the room for a shirt but all he saw was his sister's sports bra, hanging from a doorknob. Well, that would make me even more of a pervert, wouldn't it?

Momo was saying something but she was crying and it was hard to make out her words. He stepped aside from the doorway and she walked in and sat down in an old wicker rocking chair.

Kiley handed her a box of tissues and she grabbed a handful and pressed them to her eyes. He sat down on the couch to her left, bending his legs upwards so that they were pressed against his chest. " Okay, uh… what are you doing here, again?" I'm not one for subtlety.

Momo sighed. " Kiley… I just… our kiss. It…"

" Hey, I told you, it didn't happen. Just forget it." Kiley said. " Don't even worry about it. If Toji asks, tell him I made you do it, or something. Just come to my funeral after he kills me, alright?"

She laughed but then she grew serious again. " Kiley, it's not what you think… your kiss was different, it felt different then Toji's. Toji, he feels like a brother to me, but you…" Momo took a deep breath and rushed the rest of her words out: " … I think I like you in a different way then Toji, in a non-brotherly way."

Kiley blinked. I better be careful about this, I can't jump to any conclusions. " You like me in a as-a-friend kind of way, right?" He reached into a bowl on the table and took a pretzel for himself. He waggled the pretzel at her, asking if she wanted one, but she shook her head.

Momo looked at him. He looked really good, his dark hair spilling across his forehead, his eyes round and large, much deeper and in an odd way, they appeared soulful to her. He had a great body, his arms were muscled, as if he was working out a lot recently. He looked even better then Toji without his shirt on. She shook her head. " I think… I should break up with Toji, because I don't want to keep leading him on. It took a while but now I know. I… I feel for you."

It would have been a perfectly romantic moment if Kiley hadn't choked on his pretzel just then.