Obi-Wan entered the last of his calculations into the hyperdrive computer and sat back, watching them process across the screen. When he was satisfied that all was well he swiveled in his chair, turning to face his companion.

"We have some time before we reach Naboo space," he said. "Why don't you go rest?"

Eliel spared him a somewhat sour glance, then returned to her analysis of the ship's systems. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine," he responded as casually as he could muster.

She refused to look at him, choosing instead to stare out the viewscreen at the streaks of light streaming by. "If one more person tells me I am not well, I swear"

"You're not well, though," he countered.

True, her most recent treatment, ordered by Master Yoda himself, had done her a world of good. Eliel's complexion was closer to its normal, healthy shade than he'd seen it in days and she was moving far more freely than she had on Tatooine. But she wasn't completely healed. Not yet.

"I told you, I'm fine."

She wasn't fine, of course. Her lung capacity was still severely compromised, despite Ando's ministrations, and her right hand was weak; too weak, even, to grip the weapon that was as much a part of Eliel Jensei as her own arms. Every trip to the bacta tank brought her closer to wellness. Every potion that Ando slathered on her scarred skin loosened damaged muscles and made it easier to control her digits. Every day and every breath carried with it more strength and stamina. And every moment was tainted by the fact that she was healing while her Padawan was dead.

He frowned, but thought it better to refrain from responding. It was clear from both her tone and years of experience interacting with her that Eliel was more than done with the conversation. A change in topic was the only way to avoid a very long and very silent trip to Naboo.

"What made you decide to come?" he asked.

Obi-Wan watched as a flicker of jocundity ran across her face and he guessed that she was about to make a wise remark in reply, but Eliel swallowed the expression suddenly.

"If someone really is interested in Anakin, it seems a safe bet that a good place to find him would be somewhere in the vicinity of your Padawan," she said.

"You don't think that's a littleobvious?"

She shrugged. "If they're desperate enough to hire bounty hunters to kill two Jedi in broad daylight"

Obi-Wan grunted, conceding the point. "Is that all?"

Eliel turned in her chair, fixing him with a curious gaze. "What else would there be?"

He spun back to the controls, affecting a need to examine the stream of data that their R4 unit had just sent. Some things were easier to say without eye contact. "When Qui-Gon died, the last place I wanted to be was in the temple."

Eliel swallowed suddenly, clearly displaying the fact that he'd struck a raw nerve. She turned back to her own display, but wound up staring blankly into the space between her body and the console. He left her alone for a few minutes, knowing that the potential for things to get ugly was very great. Finally, when he was convinced that she wasn't going to leave the cockpit all together, Obi-Wan spoke.

"Do you remember," he asked, "what you said to me about him?"

"I said a lot of things."

"You said that none of us can control the moment when another's work becomes complete."

Eliel shot a glance his way, then buried herself in a second run through of the diagnostic program for the weapons system. "It's not the same."

"It is."

She looked up sharply, allowing an edge to creep into her voice. "Qui-Gon was a grown man who lived a long and useful life. Nerilu was just a girl."

"Perhaps," he offered, still studying the viewscreen, "her work was to save you on that day."

Eliel snorted derisively. "You give my place in things entirely too much weight."

"Perhaps," he nodded, glancing over. "But you can't control the moment any more than I could."

She bent to the display once more, conveying that this conversation was over as well. This time, though, Obi-Wan was unwilling to let her steer things. He paused, gathering both his thoughts and himself, then plunged ahead.

"Do you remember what else you told me?"

She looked over, sporting a plainly hostile expression.

"You said," he continued, ignoring it just as plainly, "that I should not ignore my emotions--that I should work through them."

"I was wrong," she answered flatly.

He shook his head. "I don't agree."

Eliel sat perfectly still for quite some time and he could sense her tension. It was, in fact, practically palpable. Then, without warning, she flopped back in her chair, slouching against it wearily. "There is no emotion," she quoted, repeating words he'd heard no less than a million times. "There is only peace."

"Now who's taking the rules too seriously?" He countered with a smile.

She looked over, her face devoid of any hint of humor. "What kind of Jedi would I be if I didn't take the rules seriously? We tried that route, remember? They almost kicked me out of the Order."

Yes, he remembered. Vividly, in fact. "You, Bel Eliel Jensei, make the best kind of Jedi, I think. My Master questioned the rules--broke them, when he had to. Jorus did the same. We are not meant to be blinded by our oaths. We're neither automatons nor slaves. They didn't expel you back then and they certainly won't expel you now, not for mourning the loss of Nerilu."

A series of emotions flickered across her face, wholly tinged by guilt and running the gamut from gratitude to the very bowels of grief. Eliel looked about to speak, going so far as to open her mouth and draw in a breath, but she clapped it shut quickly and shook her head. "If I start," she said, finally, "I'm not entirely sure I could stop."

****

They arrived at the Naberrie lake house close to sunset and both were awestruck by the beauty of the place as they disembarked from Paddy Accu's waterspeeder. Surrounded as it was by lush forests and verdant mountains, it was easy to forget that a war was brewing outside of this paradise.

One of Senator Amidala's handmaidens met them on the dock and ushered both Obi-Wan and Eliel into the house for the evening meal. To Eliel, all of the Senator's women looked alike--a trait that was both purposeful and practical, she knew, as any one of them had to be able to act as the Senator's decoy in a dangerous situation. But Obi-Wan seemed to recognize this one, even calling her by name and making pleasant conversation as they wove their way through the house. Eliel trailed along behind silently, glad of the opportunity to get a feel of the place without interruption.

They were lead through a series of long, winding corridors, each offering tantalizing glimpses of the richness of the rooms in the house. This place, Eliel knew, was owned by Senator Amidala's family. It had been her retreat as a child and was her refuge now. It was, no doubt, eminently familiar to the Senator, much as the temple was to Eliel, and offered a kind of solace that only sprang from what was known in both body and soul.

Bringing Anakin Skywalker to such a place spoke volumes.

The journey through the house stopped, finally, in an elegant, yet cozy dining room. The Senator rose to greet them, smiling openly at Obi-Wan. Her face fell, though, when Eliel came into sight from behind him.

"You've brought company, Master Kenobi," she said, smiling graciously once more.

Ever the politician, Eliel noted.

He gave a little bow at the waist and spread the fingers of his right hand, gesturing to Eliel. "My very old friend, Bel Eliel Jensei."

The Senator's face twitched subtly at the name, telling Eliel that it was not entirely unfamiliar. "A pleasure to meet you, Master Jensei," she said.

Eliel bowed as well. "It is good of you to host us, Senator."

The Senator gestured to the table, sending one of her servants skittering away to set another place for the unexpected Jedi. "Please, sit. Have you eaten?"

Obi-Wan waited for her to take her own seat, then slid into a chair across the table. "We are both hungry," he admitted. "But I must speak with Anakin. I can't seem to raise him on the comm, do you know where he is?"

Eliel dropped into the remaining empty chair and did her best to stay out of the way as her place was set, studying the Senator all the while.

"There was a dispute in a village not far from here," she answered. "Anakin went to see if he could resolve it before it escalated to a point where we would need to bring it to the courts in Theed."

Obi-Wan's brow wrinkled in confusion as a plate was set before him and Eliel guessed his thoughts. Since when was Anakin Skywalker interested in diplomacy?

"He left early this morning," she continued. "I expect he'll be back before too long."

"Anakin seems to have taken a great interest in Naboo," Eliel put in. She offered a smile of thanks to the woman who placed a steaming plate in front of her and picked up her utensils gratefully. Obi-Wan might be hungryshe, on the other hand, was famished.

He sent a frown her way from across the table, but Eliel ignored it as she dove into her food.

"I am trying," the Senator answered, smiling once again, "to convince him that politics are not as bad as one might think."

They passed the meal in polite conversation, covering topics ranging from the weather on Naboo to the length of their journey to the pastoral planet. No one, it seemed, was willing to discuss the actual matter at hand. Eliel cleaned her plate, making a mental note to inquire about the type of meat she'd been served, then excused herself, guessing that both Obi-Wan and the Senator would prefer to converse in private.

She was escorted through the house to a room where her bag was already waiting and took some time to freshen up before wandering out onto the balcony to enjoy the evening air. The sun dropped lazily behind mist-shrouded mountains and Eliel had spent quite some time studying the reflections of Naboo's moon dancing on the surface of the lake before she felt the Senator join her.

"Master Obi-Wan tells me that you like the water."

She turned to face her companion, smiling. "I am fond of it, yes."

The Senator crossed the balcony to a spot near where Eliel stood. "You should take a swim," she said. "The lake is very warm this time of year."

Eliel offered a small nod, mostly for her own benefit. That might not be a bad idea, actually. Despite the fact that she had cleansed herself several times since returning from Tatooine, the dryness of the desert planet lingered about her. It would be good to submerse herself in liquid that was not the nutrient enriched fluid of Ando's bacta tank.

"Thank you, Senator," Eliel answered. "I may do just that."

"You should stay as long as you like, Master Jensei," she added. "We have plenty of room."

Eliel blinked, surprised that the Senator would make such an offer knowing full well that they would all be needed as the war began to escalate.

"Anakin says," she continued, "that you are on a leave of sorts--that your duties have been put on hold so that you may recover from your wounds and the loss of your Padawan."

The words, casually spoken without so much as a hint of malicious intent, sped straight to Eliel's gut and lodged there like a dart. Here, in this beautiful place of water and hills, she had almost forgotten about her wounds, her duties, and the loss of Nerilu. Here, on Naboo where the air was not choked with exhaust like the busy lanes of Coruscant or heavy with the impending doom of war, it was almost as if time had reversed itself. Nerilu could be around any corner, or down on the shore, meditating amongst the stones of the beach.

"I'm sorry, Master Jensei," the Senator said, "I did not mean to"

Eliel shook her head, forcing a smile. "It's all right, Senator. I thank you for your offer of hospice, but I cannot accept. I am on a mission. Once that is complete, I will be sent to Alderaan to aid Viceroy Organa during the conflict."

The Senator blew out a small sigh, suggesting that she found Eliel's choice of words somewhat lacking.

"What is your mission, if I might ask?"

Eliel took a moment to study the younger woman unabashedly. She knew that the Senator was used to such blatant examinations, living as she did in a world full of agendas driven by power and politics. The Senator amazed her, in truth. At the Senator's age, Eliel had still been under the tutelage of her Master. But this girl--this woman--had nearly two decades of experience in politics. She'd been elected ruler of her people. She'd proven to be adept at tactical considerations and had more than demonstrated both bravery and grim determinism at the Battle of Geonosis.

Someone, somewhere in the galaxy was determined to lure Anakin Skywalker away from his Jedi training. Someone wanted to recruit the boy and, no doubt, take advantage of the ability and talent he possessed. Naturally, the Council would do their level best to protect Anakin, to keep him from straying any farther from the ways of the Order and the good of the Force. But it could not hurt, she thought, to have an ally in the endeavor. And this woman, this small, delicate looking creature --wise beyond her years, yet foolish enough to indulge in passions that were not suited to her station--this woman could prove to be the crux of the battle for Anakin Skywalker's loyalty. She might, in fact, be the very key to it.

Obi-Wan intended to see to it that his Padawan was kept as far from the Senator as possible, forgetting, apparently, his own experiences with illicit bonds. His intentions were true, but Eliel knew that such endeavors often backfired, cementing where dissolution was desired. The number of transmissions exchanged between them during the first years of their apprenticeships proved that easily. If there were any hope of retaining Anakin's loyalty to the Jedi Order, this woman would need to be on their side. Denying them the chance to be together would only unite the young lovers against those responsible.

"I am investigating the death of Anakin's mother," she said.

The Senator's eyes went slightly wide. "I thought that she was killed by Tuskens"

"She was," Eliel nodded. "But there is evidence to suggest that it was not the accident that it appeared to be."

The Senator gasped openly, putting a hand to her mouth and forgetting herself for the moment. "Ihorrible. Does Anakin know?"

"No. Or, I have not told him, at least. It may be that Obi-Wan will choose to share the information."

The Senator paced away a few steps and Eliel sensed her efforts to control her emotions. "Why would someone do that?"

"It is my belief," she answered, "that whomever is responsible is trying to push Anakinto test his control over his emotions. And, perhaps to recruit him."

"Anakin is loyal to the Republic!"

"Of course he is," Eliel soothed. "But he is a powerful young man, Senator, and he has not yet learned to control his emotions."

The Senator looked down at the cool stone beneath their feet, avoiding Eliel's gaze. "Do you have any idea who would do such a thing?"

Eliel shook her head, clasping her hands together in front of her. Beautiful as Naboo was, the riddle of recent events was still very troubling. "No."

The Senator fell silent, but an inner struggle was evident in both her posture and facial expression. "You've come to take him back then, haven't you?" she asked, finally.

"Obi-Wan and Anakin will return to Coruscant, yes," Eliel answered. "He must be--"

"Guarded?" she cut in.

Eliel raised an eyebrow as she digested the waves of emotion rolling toward her from the Senator. Anakin Skywalker was not alone in the depths of his feelings, then. So much the better that the Senator be brought on board as an ally. "Anakin has duties to attend to," she said. "And the Council wishes to keep an eye on him, yes."

The Senator paced away again, looking suddenly childlike in her elaborate gown and Eliel found pity welling in her chest. The Senator was a powerful and influential politician but, beneath that layer of duty, she was also a young woman in love for what might very well be the first time.

"He will not be punished," Eliel hedged, hoping to allay some of her companion's fears. Anakin might indeed be disciplined. He might even be thrown out of the Order, though that was unlikely, given his skill and the treacherous road he was on. "The Council does not wish to do anything but assure that Anakin's path is the right one."

The Senator stood rock-still for a long while, then crossed the terrace quickly. She flopped down onto a bench, visibly restraining tears.

"Senator?" Eliel asked, coming to stand near her. "I know this is disturbing news, but you must trust that we are doing all we can to protect him."

"May I ask you something, Master Jensei?"

"Certainly," Eliel smiled.

The Senator answered the smile and swallowed, trying to compose her thoughts. "The Jedi Code," she began, "is it difficult to live by?"

Eliel pursed her lips in thought for a moment, then took a seat. "No more so, I think, than to live by the codes that bind people like yourself. We are both servants of the people, after all."

"But I can feel emotion," she countered. "I can fall in love. Get married. Have children, should I want to."

Eliel's face twisted a bit at the misconceptions the Senator so obviously subscribed to. True, the Jedi were not encouraged to form strong attachments. But they did not, as many assumed, lead lives of enforced celibacy. Nor were they bereft of emotional entanglements with lovers. Children, though rarely conceived with intent, were not forbidden either, though such progeny were reared in the temple more often than not.

"Jedi feel emotions. Sometimes very strongly," Eliel admitted. "The difference is that we do not allow them to rule us. Or should not, anyway."

"Like Anakin. That is the problem with him, right?"

"Anakin isn't alone in struggling to control emotion. We all do. Jedi get angry. We know happiness, too. We love, though perhaps not how you speak of it. And we grieve. Peace does not come from absence of emotion, Senator. That, in my experience, is an impossibility.

"I'm not worried about Anakin because he feels his emotions," Eliel continued, "or because he has allowed himself to be governed by them a time or two. I worry because of his abilities and his," she paused, choosing her words carefully, "hisarrogance. He is at a dangerous place in his training. He has a choice to make and I am not convinced that he fully understands it, or what is at stake."

"You should talk to him," the Senator said , eyes suddenly bright with conviction. "You should tell him that."

Eliel shook her head. "It is not my place. I am not his Master."

The Senator frowned, forcibly checking the words that rose to her lips. She clenched her teeth and bent her head, twisting her hands in her lap.

"Do you care about him?" Eliel asked, though the answer was plain.

"More than I should."

"Then you must listen to me, Senator."

Eliel took a moment to examine the depths of the Senator's eyes, searching for a hint of the resolve that she knew would be necessary in the coming days. It was there, of course. So were a great compassion and an even greater love.

She drew in a deep breath, buying herself an extra slice of time to re-think what she was about to say. Her advice would be precisely what the girl wanted to hear, but it could also easily cost her the friendship of Obi-Wan Kenobi. It might also, she knew, prove to be another stone on the path to Skywalker's ruin.

"Anakin needs you," she said. "I cannot condone your feelings for him, nor his for you, but I do understand that you are the only thing keeping him in check at the moment. Say nothing of this--least of all to Obi-Wan--and continue on the path you walk with him. Once we get him back to the temple, things will be different--safer, I hope. Until then, you must help us to keep from losing him."

The Senator blinked in shock. "Whatwhat should I do?"

Eliel's answer was weighted with resignation and a sense of defeat, but both were lost on her companion, who chose instead to focus on the words themselves.

"Love him back."

[End Part 5]

Elismor
July 2002