Chapter 7: Singin' down the house with Tom Jones
The 4 homies stepped over the threshold and stood still, blinking. They were in the foyer of Tom Jones's house. It was decorated ghastly. Leopard skin curtains, fur rugs, and red walls. They walked through to another room, this room was also vulgar. That wasn't the first thing you noticed when entering the room though. In the far corner, past the disco balls and dance floor, was a woman, setting up a karaoke machine. The woman, had hair like a horses tail, but white. Her clothes made of PVC and leather was criminal but what struck you was her face, it too seemed almost plastic. 'Hey there' she said when noticing them. 'Come in boys, don't just stand there, I'm Cher-Berry, and your just in time, me and Tom were just about to have a go on the karaoke machine' she added clapping her hands. 'One of yours, or one of mine?' Tom asked, walking over to Cher-Berry. All of the homies began to fear for their lives. Obviously these musically impaired freaks, had been taking something. Illegal. Of course the homies had not actually heard any of their music, but between you, and me we know it's terrifying. The music of Satan. Cher-Berry moved over to the door. 'Its better if we close this, we get some guys out here throwing stuff at the house, eggs, vegetables, mostly rotten. We don't know why' she explained as she closed the door. 'But you don't have to worry for you are in the house of Tom Jones and Cher- Berry!' Tom said. He chuckled. This was a reason to worry. 'Sit down, sit down' asked Cher-Berry, pointing to some inflatable chairs. The homies were hesitant to sit down, but noticed that by sitting were they were shown; the glow from Tom's teeth could be avoided. As they sat down they noticed that Tom had actually disappeared. 'Yo Cher-Berry, ya gotta tell me who this Tom Jones's boy is' MC F.b said. 'Lordy, you don't know who my Tom is? why Tom is the master of music himself!' Cher-Berry replied. All the homies laughed. 'Girl, quit playin' me. Grandmaster Bilbo ain't never dressed so baaaad, he's the master of music.' MC F.b assured Cher-Berry. 'Who?. Well he is. He's had many hits. Why, he's famous world-wide!' Cher- Berry said. 'And uh, who the heck you?' Sam G questioned. Why, she's Cher-Berry, you silly boys.' Tom Jones said, he as reappeared from a behind a glittery curtain that the homies were sure hadn't been there before. He chuckled. He was dressed differently, and obviously and quite sadly, he thought he looked good. He wore a black suit, made of velvet, with the shirt underneath undone just a little too far, to reveal some rather unsightly chest hair. Cher-Berry had disappeared as Tom had returned, but she too now appeared again. You now had to squint at her also. She had changed into a gold glittery dress. Let me you tell this, it was a fashion crime! 'Its karaoke time!' they both said in unison, microphones in hand. 'Me and Cher-Berry will start, then you boys can have a go' said Tom, his smile beaming. The homies held hands in fear, but hush, cause that's so uncool for homies to do.
2 excruciating hours passed until the vocal torture was finally over. The homies explained they were very tired and would like to sleep. They sprinted to their rooms and got into their beds.
Unsurprisingly, the homes were never the same, and I don't want to scare you by explaining what they had to endure. I scare myself thinking about it.
MC F.b had dreams that night. Dreams he wished he'd never have again. He was being taught dance moves by 3 blonde, good looking, non-stop smiling boys. He had joined a boy band.
They woke, all four at once. Tom was singing. They leapt up. 'Morning boys' said Tom. 'You should have woken up earlier, we could have had a go at the old karaoke again.' He added. 'Um yeeah boy, but we were so tired an' all'. said Mezza B. 'Well later then' he said chuckling.
They all sat down for breakfast, while Tom told them many long and boring stories about his past. 'Yeeah, I get that boy. How ya meet Cher-Berry?' asked Sam G. 'Well, we used to live in the same town, but one day the guys living there kinda booted us out. And threatened to hurt us if we came back.' Tom explained. 'So Cher-Berry and me decided that if we sung then maybe they'd let us back in. So we did, but they just got mad, angrier and violent. Don't know why... So we came to live here.' he said finishing his story. 'Daang' said P.Tooky MC F.b soon found himself telling Tom and Cher-Berry about his life and why he was here. 'Show me the bling-bling' said Tom suddenly. MC F.b felt into the pocket of his trousers, designed by P.Tooky's clothing label and handed the bling-bling to Tom. All the homies noticed that when Tom put the bling-bling onto his little finger, that he didn't disappear! They decided that because Tom could never be happenin', the ring didn't affect him. They planned their trek for their next day and returned to their fur-lined rooms.
The 4 homies stepped over the threshold and stood still, blinking. They were in the foyer of Tom Jones's house. It was decorated ghastly. Leopard skin curtains, fur rugs, and red walls. They walked through to another room, this room was also vulgar. That wasn't the first thing you noticed when entering the room though. In the far corner, past the disco balls and dance floor, was a woman, setting up a karaoke machine. The woman, had hair like a horses tail, but white. Her clothes made of PVC and leather was criminal but what struck you was her face, it too seemed almost plastic. 'Hey there' she said when noticing them. 'Come in boys, don't just stand there, I'm Cher-Berry, and your just in time, me and Tom were just about to have a go on the karaoke machine' she added clapping her hands. 'One of yours, or one of mine?' Tom asked, walking over to Cher-Berry. All of the homies began to fear for their lives. Obviously these musically impaired freaks, had been taking something. Illegal. Of course the homies had not actually heard any of their music, but between you, and me we know it's terrifying. The music of Satan. Cher-Berry moved over to the door. 'Its better if we close this, we get some guys out here throwing stuff at the house, eggs, vegetables, mostly rotten. We don't know why' she explained as she closed the door. 'But you don't have to worry for you are in the house of Tom Jones and Cher- Berry!' Tom said. He chuckled. This was a reason to worry. 'Sit down, sit down' asked Cher-Berry, pointing to some inflatable chairs. The homies were hesitant to sit down, but noticed that by sitting were they were shown; the glow from Tom's teeth could be avoided. As they sat down they noticed that Tom had actually disappeared. 'Yo Cher-Berry, ya gotta tell me who this Tom Jones's boy is' MC F.b said. 'Lordy, you don't know who my Tom is? why Tom is the master of music himself!' Cher-Berry replied. All the homies laughed. 'Girl, quit playin' me. Grandmaster Bilbo ain't never dressed so baaaad, he's the master of music.' MC F.b assured Cher-Berry. 'Who?. Well he is. He's had many hits. Why, he's famous world-wide!' Cher- Berry said. 'And uh, who the heck you?' Sam G questioned. Why, she's Cher-Berry, you silly boys.' Tom Jones said, he as reappeared from a behind a glittery curtain that the homies were sure hadn't been there before. He chuckled. He was dressed differently, and obviously and quite sadly, he thought he looked good. He wore a black suit, made of velvet, with the shirt underneath undone just a little too far, to reveal some rather unsightly chest hair. Cher-Berry had disappeared as Tom had returned, but she too now appeared again. You now had to squint at her also. She had changed into a gold glittery dress. Let me you tell this, it was a fashion crime! 'Its karaoke time!' they both said in unison, microphones in hand. 'Me and Cher-Berry will start, then you boys can have a go' said Tom, his smile beaming. The homies held hands in fear, but hush, cause that's so uncool for homies to do.
2 excruciating hours passed until the vocal torture was finally over. The homies explained they were very tired and would like to sleep. They sprinted to their rooms and got into their beds.
Unsurprisingly, the homes were never the same, and I don't want to scare you by explaining what they had to endure. I scare myself thinking about it.
MC F.b had dreams that night. Dreams he wished he'd never have again. He was being taught dance moves by 3 blonde, good looking, non-stop smiling boys. He had joined a boy band.
They woke, all four at once. Tom was singing. They leapt up. 'Morning boys' said Tom. 'You should have woken up earlier, we could have had a go at the old karaoke again.' He added. 'Um yeeah boy, but we were so tired an' all'. said Mezza B. 'Well later then' he said chuckling.
They all sat down for breakfast, while Tom told them many long and boring stories about his past. 'Yeeah, I get that boy. How ya meet Cher-Berry?' asked Sam G. 'Well, we used to live in the same town, but one day the guys living there kinda booted us out. And threatened to hurt us if we came back.' Tom explained. 'So Cher-Berry and me decided that if we sung then maybe they'd let us back in. So we did, but they just got mad, angrier and violent. Don't know why... So we came to live here.' he said finishing his story. 'Daang' said P.Tooky MC F.b soon found himself telling Tom and Cher-Berry about his life and why he was here. 'Show me the bling-bling' said Tom suddenly. MC F.b felt into the pocket of his trousers, designed by P.Tooky's clothing label and handed the bling-bling to Tom. All the homies noticed that when Tom put the bling-bling onto his little finger, that he didn't disappear! They decided that because Tom could never be happenin', the ring didn't affect him. They planned their trek for their next day and returned to their fur-lined rooms.