Golden Leaves of Lorién

Chapter Five: Daylight

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She could not remember when the Lady left her room. It must have been near dawn, Erlyannil decided, her eyes still closed as her mind gradually woke. The golden sunlight of midday was streaming through her open window now, warming her skin as she sat, curled up, her head resting on her knees. Erlyannil had fallen into a light, disturbed slumber for the most part of the morning and she awoke to find the day half gone.

Erlyannil felt no compulsion to venture down into the city or to speak to anyone. The Lady had disappeared, no doubt to console her people. What had happened last night? She blinked twice, then reached up to run cold fingers through damp hair. Erlyannil was fully awake now, and she recalled that she had cried herself to sleep.

That's right, she thought, Lyndariel and Elladin. My mother and father. What will Galadriel do? No, what will she be able to do? People do not easily forget tragedies if they are reminded of it with every passing day. What am I going to do? The people here know my story, better than I know it myself. …Even Legolas knows it.

With the thought of the young but shrewd son of Thranduil, her thoughts halted.

Legolas…

He had not known why she was troubled by his story of the two young lovers, or why, when he had kissed her in the hedge, she had looked so frightened. Erlyannil drew in a shaky breath.

Why am I so afraid of him? Because he recognized me in the trees and every time he looks at me, I feel like my entire soul is exposed to his eyes? Or because I am afraid of how I feel when I am near him.

Erlyannil could hear the words repeating in her head, "I must confess something. I know that it will happen again. It happened long ago, and it happens now with the maiden and Elladin…and now it threatens to happen once more," Legolas had told her. That was what frightened her. Erlyannil rubbed her burning eyes and struggled to stand. History should not be given the chance to repeat itself. But it does, and it will.

But things change, she thought in defiance to the words, and what I do is in my hands, not anyone else's. Why should I let history repeat itself? I refuse to let myself fall prey to what consumed my mother and father…

There was a movement in the trees near her window, and she turned, her senses alert. Someone was moving in the tree branches, making way towards the small overhanging ledge of her window.

Erlyannil's heartbeat quickened as her eyes fell upon the young elf swinging with agile ease into her room. Legolas stood and she noticed his expression change from one of casual wariness to a look of despair as soon as he saw her watching him. Legolas' eyes wavered as he looked at her.

Once recovered from shock, she felt ashamed at her disheveled appearance. But then she came to again and resumed her defensive glare as he approached her. She noticed quite involuntarily that he was wearing a collared black tunic that only accentuated the pale of his face and eyes.

Once he was within a foot of her, though, Erlyannil found herself unable to hold up her defenses any longer. Her expression faltered and her eyes betrayed her yielding to her feelings. Legolas' eyes were trained on her now, studying her face, and she could tell that he was breathing rapidly. He stopped finally, looking down at her, and he took her sweaty hand in his.

"Erlyannil Galadh…I have only just met you, but…" Legolas' voice was despondent.

Erlyannil could not speak. She was too conscious of the Elf's fingers caressing her own.

"I tried to tell you last night. That when I saw you amidst the golden leaves, I could not explain to myself the feelings that ran through me. And to be near you, to speak with you as I did last night…you have no idea how long the hours of the night were when I could not find you, when I was kept by the conflicts of the city. In all my travels I have never seen anyone with such effortless charisma…such grace, and such shrewd wisdom. I swear by Eärendil that I will never fully understand what it is about you, but that I will never find another like you."

Erlyannil stood stock-still, eyes wide in astonishment. When she did not reply, Legolas pleaded, "Erlyannil, do you not see the despair in my eyes?" He brought her hand to rest on his chest near his left shoulder. "Do you not feel the pounding of my heart?"

She gently pulled her hand away from where he held it. Having finally found her voice again, she began timidly, "Legolas, you are the son of the king of Northern Mirkwood. My guardian is the Lady of Lorién. Let me ask you my question: do you not see the barriers between…between…"

"Between us? Between our people? Erlyannil, you do not understand how irrepressible this is. Barriers do not stand in its way. You do not understand."

She laughed bitterly. "No, I don't. I don't understand why my father murdered for love. I don't understand why my mother killed herself for love. I don't understand why Lyndariel is so set on marrying her prince," she said, a sneer in her voice. "When obviously she is just as conscious as I am of the grudges that exist between two different races, the mistakes that one made in cowardliness and the mistakes of another in not forgiving!"

She was on the verge of tears and her voice was cracking, but she continued relentlessly. "You are right, of course, I don't understand at all. I don't understand why I feel the way I do when you are near me, or why you sneak into my room in the midst of turmoil, ignorant of what may happen between your people and mine just so you can say these words to me and torment me! Do you not see that I am the product of a marriage like Lyndariel's, one that did not prevail and that will never prevail? There are too many differences between our people, too many tragedies." Erlyannil stepped back from him and sat on the edge of her bed, angrily pulling at her hair.

Legolas was speechless. He knelt and gently pulled her hands out of her hair, then ran his own fingers through the dark mass of tangles. He pushed the hair from her face and caressed her cheeks with his hands, wiping her angry tears away. Erlyannil finally raised her face to meet his eyes. Her eyes were red; the pain she had kept so long inside without ever acknowledging its presence finally unleashed.

"I knew," she whispered, voice hoarse, "I knew from the beginning when Ma-ma left me here. That day when she knelt down and told me that she loved me forever and then deserted me. I saw the pain in her eyes, the suffering that would not cease until she ended her own life, when she prepared to leave me forever. I saw the sobs that racked her body when she was nearly gone…" She trailed off, unable to continue any longer.

"I never did know," he whispered, his voice just as quiet as hers, "and I'm sorry for it. I'm sorry for what I have done to you." He stood, and her gaze followed him. He looked down at her, all the despair gone from his eyes, replaced by a poignant look of resignation. "Some things change," he said, an edge of bitterness to his voice, "there are too many tragedies between our people, but they will learn to accept things as they are. We do not run from the future, we have to make it." He was silent for a moment, then he walked over to the open window, adding before he swung out onto a limb, "But I am not sorry that I fell in love with you."

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