Voldie Goes to Mordor: Part 4
By: Paw M, Paw Greenleaf/etc., Cousine Funf, and introducing (!) Maw and She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
This was our last pep band writing. *SOB* Perhaps we shall write more someday, but for now, this poor dialogue may be through. We don't own anyone except most of the things that say random in front of them and Rosie. Actually just Paw Greenleaf/etc owns Rosie because she IS Rosie, but you know how it is. We also own Super Scottish Man who is based on a poem by a friend of ours about our Literary Magazine advisor. He's a Scottish English teacher. OH! And we also have the Barbie Elf song in this (albeit somewhat revised) because it is one of the most hilarious pieces of fanfic ever written. I can't remember who wrote it right now, but I'll stick the name up in the reviews somewhere when I remember. If whoever wrote it is reading this and wants our head on a platter, we don't taste that good so please stick to flaming us and we'll take it off. Okay, have fun!
Shifty Character: Meanwhile... You know, I'm really getting sick of saying that.
Hugo Bracegirdle: Shush and get on with your job!
Frodo: You still didn't disappear.
Hugo Bracegirdle: Get over it!
Shifty Character: *SIGH* Meanwhile...
Random Pen: Fanfic SUCKS!
Rosie: Shut up, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!
Voldie: OKAY, ON WITH THE STORY! THANK YOU!
Dumbly: Who wants to go break dancing with me?
Frodo: Me!
Snape: Me!
Sam: Me! I just LOVE break dan-
Voldie: I meant my story, entitled "Voldie Goes to Mordor!"
Frodo: Well, they have break dancing in Mordor, don't they?
Voldie: Somehow, I don't think so.
Paw: Get Back here boy, I'm your PAW!
Paw Greenleaf: I'm comin' Paw! But I just wanted to be in this here story!
Paw: I don't care, Paw! I'm your PAW!
Maw: Now you two listen here! I'm both of your Maws! So git!
Paw and Paw Greenleaf: *exit*
Shifty Character: I HATE this job! It SUCKS! I mean, Meanwhile... *AHEM*...
Dumbly: Hey dudes, let's get outta this totally boring Quidditch game and hang it down at Mirkwood.
Legolas: That sounds spiffy and then everyone can admire my luscious blonde hair.
Samwise: Okay, I am so getting bored of this here ring, anyone else want it?
Everyone: Oo! Oo! Oo! Me! Pick me!
Samwise: I choose you Pippin! Use it well.
Pippin: Umm... I wonder how deep this here hole is... *drops ring*
Gandy: Fool of a Took!
Sauron: there is a disturbance in the Force.
Shifty Character: Hmmm... I've got it, by Jove! Someplace else...
Maw: You feel the disturbance and y'all gonna git one! *picks up Pippin and flings him into a well* Damn jews and their disgustin' feet. What's this? *looks at Pippin's glittering ring* Well I be damned. What da hell is this purty thing doin' on this freak's claws? *grabs ring*
Shifty Character: Uh... I wouldn't
Maw: Oh, shut your trap! Ya just jealous I saw the purty thing first. *grabs ring*
Sudden Voice: My precious!
Maw: Where in the blazes...?
Super Scottish Man: Aye! What be goin' on herrrrre? Are ye stealin' that man's ring?
Pippin: I'm not a man!
Maw: Yeah, but da man be ugly.
Pippin: I'm soooo not a man!
S. S. Man: It doesn't matter if he's ugly. At least he speaks with correct grammar! *takes out his bagpipes and slaps Maw unconscious with them* Aye. It is a perty ring, but I have to dew the rrrrright thing. *puts ring back on Pippin's hand*
Shifty Character: Where is that random pencil? Meanwhile, somewhere else...
Random Pencil: Where am I?
Professor Flitwick: Here.
Random Pencil: Where's here?
Professor Flitwick: Um... I dunno. But it's fun. Check out the bouncy walls.
Random Pencil: I'm allergic to bounciness.
Professor Flitwick: I'm sorry.
Random Pencil: Me too.
*silence*
Professor Flitwick: How about a game of Parcheesi?
Random Pencil: I'm not good at anything involving hands.
Professor Flitwick: Oh.
Random Pencil: I do like to write though.
Professor Flitwick: Imagine that. Let me introduce you to Pepperming Humbug Smelling Really Cool Red Random Marker.
PHSRCRRM: Hi! Like, I'm the elven prince, in Middle Earth... I live in Mirkwood, where life is soooo good! I'm so blo-onde!
Random Pencil: But... But... You're a marker!
PHSRCRRM: Too true. It's just a song I heard.
Random Pencil: Oh.
PHSRCRRM: I'm a Barbie Elf, in this Barbie world... Come on Gimli, let's go party! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Random Pencil: Um, yeah. I think he's had waaay too much pipeweed.
Pippin: I'll have some of the Old Toby! And a PINT!
Voldie: *head in hands*
John Lennon: Here I stand head in hands, turn my face to the wall...
Voldie: *shoots JL an evil look* Oh, the pain, the pain! My story is completely pointless! And I want to go to Mordor? Will it ever end?
Bozo: (a/n That's Rita Skeeter's photographer) I don't think so. But would you like to do lunch sometime next week? You could share your struggles with Rita Skeeter!
Voldie: LEAVE!
Bozo: Bye-bye. *leaves*
Wendelin the Weird: I'm another random character. I'm not a pencil or a marker though, and I'm certainly not shifty.
Random Narrator: Will V-dawg ever get to Mordor? What will happen to Random Pencil? What ever happened to TNT?
Shifty Character: Okay! Back to Meanwhile...
Sauron: This place is so Dullsville, let's everybody get it on at my bash down in my crib, Mordor.
*Later in Mordor*
Shifty Character: Um, Sauron, when they say crib, they mean a house not an actual crib.
Sauron: Oh. I wondered how we could party in a crib.
Shifty Character: Sometimes I wonder about you.
*Super Scottish Man flies in, with cool Scottish socks*
S. S. Man: Aye, you used "crib" as a slang noun. Don't use a word if ye can't use it properly.
Paw: *randomly appears* Dang-nab it! How'd we end up here, Paw?
Paw Greenleaf: *enters* Dang-gum it! How'm I supposed to know, Paw?
Paw: Aw, quit tryin' to copy my style, Paw.
Shifty Character: What are you guys doing here?
Paw Greenleaf: We be lookin' for a par-tay.
Paw: Yeah! Tell 'em Paw!
Sauron: Well... You can dance in my crib.
Paw Greenleaf: Hot damn! Let's go Paw.
Paw: Yeeeee-haw! Hot dog!
Shifty Character: Yeeah. It's definitely time for a "meanwhile..."
Harry: I'm feeling ignored.
Frodo: Why don't you get an obsession, like my ring!
Harry: I dunno!
Legolas: I'm a Barbie elf! In a Barbie world!...
Frodo: He's obsessed with himself.
Harry: I can be obsessed with Quidditch.
Frodo: Why don't you use my ring for awhile to get obsessed.
Pippin: Hey! I was using that!
Harry: I dunno.
Random Pencil: Umm.. this is pointless.
Random Orc: No, you will be though if you keep it up.
Random Pencil: Wanna take this outside?
Hermione: Oh, no... Not this again!
Harry: No! I don't want to be taken out of the dialogue yet!
Frodo: Tough, kid.
Legolas: This party is totally happening but there are no flowers for my purty hair.
Random Orc: I'm a hottie!
Pippin: Mmmm... Pipeweed good. Me likey.
Gandalf: Dude! Let's like totally have a dance contest. I invited my pal Balrog.
Balrog: Raaa!
Gandy: Say "hi" to the nice people.
Balrog: Good day, chaps. 'Tis a fine day in Mordor.
Rosie: Say "'twill"
Balrog: 'Twill.
Rosie: *dancing around* He said 'twill! He said 'twill!
Okay, I think we'll stop there. Perhaps there will be more, perhaps there won't. R/R
By: Paw M, Paw Greenleaf/etc., Cousine Funf, and introducing (!) Maw and She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
This was our last pep band writing. *SOB* Perhaps we shall write more someday, but for now, this poor dialogue may be through. We don't own anyone except most of the things that say random in front of them and Rosie. Actually just Paw Greenleaf/etc owns Rosie because she IS Rosie, but you know how it is. We also own Super Scottish Man who is based on a poem by a friend of ours about our Literary Magazine advisor. He's a Scottish English teacher. OH! And we also have the Barbie Elf song in this (albeit somewhat revised) because it is one of the most hilarious pieces of fanfic ever written. I can't remember who wrote it right now, but I'll stick the name up in the reviews somewhere when I remember. If whoever wrote it is reading this and wants our head on a platter, we don't taste that good so please stick to flaming us and we'll take it off. Okay, have fun!
Shifty Character: Meanwhile... You know, I'm really getting sick of saying that.
Hugo Bracegirdle: Shush and get on with your job!
Frodo: You still didn't disappear.
Hugo Bracegirdle: Get over it!
Shifty Character: *SIGH* Meanwhile...
Random Pen: Fanfic SUCKS!
Rosie: Shut up, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!
Voldie: OKAY, ON WITH THE STORY! THANK YOU!
Dumbly: Who wants to go break dancing with me?
Frodo: Me!
Snape: Me!
Sam: Me! I just LOVE break dan-
Voldie: I meant my story, entitled "Voldie Goes to Mordor!"
Frodo: Well, they have break dancing in Mordor, don't they?
Voldie: Somehow, I don't think so.
Paw: Get Back here boy, I'm your PAW!
Paw Greenleaf: I'm comin' Paw! But I just wanted to be in this here story!
Paw: I don't care, Paw! I'm your PAW!
Maw: Now you two listen here! I'm both of your Maws! So git!
Paw and Paw Greenleaf: *exit*
Shifty Character: I HATE this job! It SUCKS! I mean, Meanwhile... *AHEM*...
Dumbly: Hey dudes, let's get outta this totally boring Quidditch game and hang it down at Mirkwood.
Legolas: That sounds spiffy and then everyone can admire my luscious blonde hair.
Samwise: Okay, I am so getting bored of this here ring, anyone else want it?
Everyone: Oo! Oo! Oo! Me! Pick me!
Samwise: I choose you Pippin! Use it well.
Pippin: Umm... I wonder how deep this here hole is... *drops ring*
Gandy: Fool of a Took!
Sauron: there is a disturbance in the Force.
Shifty Character: Hmmm... I've got it, by Jove! Someplace else...
Maw: You feel the disturbance and y'all gonna git one! *picks up Pippin and flings him into a well* Damn jews and their disgustin' feet. What's this? *looks at Pippin's glittering ring* Well I be damned. What da hell is this purty thing doin' on this freak's claws? *grabs ring*
Shifty Character: Uh... I wouldn't
Maw: Oh, shut your trap! Ya just jealous I saw the purty thing first. *grabs ring*
Sudden Voice: My precious!
Maw: Where in the blazes...?
Super Scottish Man: Aye! What be goin' on herrrrre? Are ye stealin' that man's ring?
Pippin: I'm not a man!
Maw: Yeah, but da man be ugly.
Pippin: I'm soooo not a man!
S. S. Man: It doesn't matter if he's ugly. At least he speaks with correct grammar! *takes out his bagpipes and slaps Maw unconscious with them* Aye. It is a perty ring, but I have to dew the rrrrright thing. *puts ring back on Pippin's hand*
Shifty Character: Where is that random pencil? Meanwhile, somewhere else...
Random Pencil: Where am I?
Professor Flitwick: Here.
Random Pencil: Where's here?
Professor Flitwick: Um... I dunno. But it's fun. Check out the bouncy walls.
Random Pencil: I'm allergic to bounciness.
Professor Flitwick: I'm sorry.
Random Pencil: Me too.
*silence*
Professor Flitwick: How about a game of Parcheesi?
Random Pencil: I'm not good at anything involving hands.
Professor Flitwick: Oh.
Random Pencil: I do like to write though.
Professor Flitwick: Imagine that. Let me introduce you to Pepperming Humbug Smelling Really Cool Red Random Marker.
PHSRCRRM: Hi! Like, I'm the elven prince, in Middle Earth... I live in Mirkwood, where life is soooo good! I'm so blo-onde!
Random Pencil: But... But... You're a marker!
PHSRCRRM: Too true. It's just a song I heard.
Random Pencil: Oh.
PHSRCRRM: I'm a Barbie Elf, in this Barbie world... Come on Gimli, let's go party! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Random Pencil: Um, yeah. I think he's had waaay too much pipeweed.
Pippin: I'll have some of the Old Toby! And a PINT!
Voldie: *head in hands*
John Lennon: Here I stand head in hands, turn my face to the wall...
Voldie: *shoots JL an evil look* Oh, the pain, the pain! My story is completely pointless! And I want to go to Mordor? Will it ever end?
Bozo: (a/n That's Rita Skeeter's photographer) I don't think so. But would you like to do lunch sometime next week? You could share your struggles with Rita Skeeter!
Voldie: LEAVE!
Bozo: Bye-bye. *leaves*
Wendelin the Weird: I'm another random character. I'm not a pencil or a marker though, and I'm certainly not shifty.
Random Narrator: Will V-dawg ever get to Mordor? What will happen to Random Pencil? What ever happened to TNT?
Shifty Character: Okay! Back to Meanwhile...
Sauron: This place is so Dullsville, let's everybody get it on at my bash down in my crib, Mordor.
*Later in Mordor*
Shifty Character: Um, Sauron, when they say crib, they mean a house not an actual crib.
Sauron: Oh. I wondered how we could party in a crib.
Shifty Character: Sometimes I wonder about you.
*Super Scottish Man flies in, with cool Scottish socks*
S. S. Man: Aye, you used "crib" as a slang noun. Don't use a word if ye can't use it properly.
Paw: *randomly appears* Dang-nab it! How'd we end up here, Paw?
Paw Greenleaf: *enters* Dang-gum it! How'm I supposed to know, Paw?
Paw: Aw, quit tryin' to copy my style, Paw.
Shifty Character: What are you guys doing here?
Paw Greenleaf: We be lookin' for a par-tay.
Paw: Yeah! Tell 'em Paw!
Sauron: Well... You can dance in my crib.
Paw Greenleaf: Hot damn! Let's go Paw.
Paw: Yeeeee-haw! Hot dog!
Shifty Character: Yeeah. It's definitely time for a "meanwhile..."
Harry: I'm feeling ignored.
Frodo: Why don't you get an obsession, like my ring!
Harry: I dunno!
Legolas: I'm a Barbie elf! In a Barbie world!...
Frodo: He's obsessed with himself.
Harry: I can be obsessed with Quidditch.
Frodo: Why don't you use my ring for awhile to get obsessed.
Pippin: Hey! I was using that!
Harry: I dunno.
Random Pencil: Umm.. this is pointless.
Random Orc: No, you will be though if you keep it up.
Random Pencil: Wanna take this outside?
Hermione: Oh, no... Not this again!
Harry: No! I don't want to be taken out of the dialogue yet!
Frodo: Tough, kid.
Legolas: This party is totally happening but there are no flowers for my purty hair.
Random Orc: I'm a hottie!
Pippin: Mmmm... Pipeweed good. Me likey.
Gandalf: Dude! Let's like totally have a dance contest. I invited my pal Balrog.
Balrog: Raaa!
Gandy: Say "hi" to the nice people.
Balrog: Good day, chaps. 'Tis a fine day in Mordor.
Rosie: Say "'twill"
Balrog: 'Twill.
Rosie: *dancing around* He said 'twill! He said 'twill!
Okay, I think we'll stop there. Perhaps there will be more, perhaps there won't. R/R