It was Rae that woke up first and checked her watch; it was just after nine o'clock. She had spent all night asleep in a chair and was as stiff as a board. Her head was pounding, and she knew that she had to get some medication, fast. She also had to remember to take it with her when she went out, this kept happening.
She checked on Jo, quietly left the room and headed for what she thought was the ER. But instead she found herself at the other end of the ICU and saw a room that she thought she recognised. As she got closer she was suddenly bombarded by memories, she cried out and collapsed to the floor.
Steve had felt her move and had slowly started to wake up. He had looked over at Jo who was still as she had been the night before. Steve stood and began to stretch when he heard Rae cry out. He rushed out of the door and saw her outside the room that Jesse had been in at the end of the Levington case, laying on the floor with her hands up over her head.
"Rae, honey, it's Steve, look at me." There was no response and he rushed into the ICU room and pressed the nurse's buzzer, then he returned to his partner. "Rae, come on you have to sit up, can you do that for me?"
There was still silence, but he saw Rae slowly shake her head as the nurse came rushing down the hallway towards them. "I need you to get Doctor Sloan, Doctor Travis, or Doctor Martin up here right now, tell them that it is an emergency. Slowly Steve managed to get his arms around Rae and he gently began to pull her up so that she was leaning in to him. She was shaking, almost uncontrollably and he knew that everything that she had been trying to forget had just come rushing back at her.
Jesse heard his name over the tannoy along with that of Mark and Alex being called to the ICU. For once didn't have any patients in there and as he rushed in that direction he wondered what the problem was. He was just ahead of Mark and Alex and he saw Rae in Steve's arms on the floor just outside a room he would never forget being in.
"Jess, help me with Rae, we need to get her somewhere quiet, and maybe get Brian to come and see her, I think she has just remembered all about Levington all at once."
Rae began to speak, slowly, one painful word at a time. "He… wanted…to…kill…you… all. Ohh, my head hurts."
"Shhh, honey, just wait a few minutes and we can talk about it." Steve helped her to her feet and glared at Jesse. "She was coming to talk to you about this yesterday afternoon, because I was so tied up. What happened, couldn't you wait a little while before you dumped her, just long enough for her to talk to you, rather than leave all the memories clustered in the front of her brain with nowhere to go?"
"What?" Jesse looked at him. "She asked me why I wasn't there when she woke up."
"You don't like me, Jesse, go away."
"Rae." Alex spoke as he moved over to help Steve guide her to a quiet room. "This isn't the place, come on."
Mark had been on his cell phone while they were talking with Rae and now he moved over to her. "Brian says to bring her right down, Steve, and I'll stay with Jo, Alex needs to get back to the ER. I think Jesse should go with her too."
"Jo, where's Jo?" Jesse looked even more confused.
"She's in the ICU, she was kidnapped when Rae was hurt the other day. Yesterday she was left in the parking lot downstairs, and I found her. She is still unconscious. But then that wouldn't matter to you would it? You leave those that you love to wake up alone." Steve spat the words out and turned his back on his best friend and then he and Alex helped Rae walk towards the elevator.
As she got there she shook them off. "I can do it." She waited until the doors opened and then she walked in, leant against the back wall and slid down to the floor. Steve and Jesse got in and left a rather shell shocked Alex and Mark behind them.
Brian Dobson was waiting in his reception area when the elevator stopped on the fifth floor, he moved over and took Rae by the hand. He knew what had happened to her, and had spoken to Jesse, Mark and Theresa about her, but she hadn't been to see him, as she appeared to be coping with her problems on her own, or at least with the help of her friends. But it seemed to him as he watched the scene unfold before him, that friends were the last thing that these two men were.
"Rae, do you know who I am?"
Rae looked up slowly, her eyes were filled with tears and she brushed them away with the back of her hand. She thought for a long time, and then she smiled slightly. "I talk to you, and you help me."
"Yes, that's right. My name is Doctor Dobson. I think you should come into my office, and Lieutenant Sloan and Doctor Travis should come too. Is that all right?"
"Yes."
Rae was guided over to a chair and Brian let her sit and get her bearings, then he walked over to her. "Doctor Sloan asked me to make sure you took your medication. He handed her the two tablets and a glass of water, which Rae gratefully took from him. After a few minutes he smiled at her, "Ok, do you want to tell me what happened to you?"
"I take a long time."
"That's all right, I have cleared my appointments for this morning, so you have all the time you need."
"I hurt my head."
"Yes, I know and that made you lose your memory of all the things that had happened to you, and it made talking hard, is that right?"
"Yes, but everybody was kind."
"They helped you did they, told you little bits of what happened so that you could fill in the blanks?"
Rae looked at him and began to think. She could remember now sitting in this office and getting very upset. Slowly she began to put things in order in her mind. The first thing that she thought of properly shocked her. "I killed somebody."
"That's right, but do you remember why you killed him?"
"No."
"Because you knew that Steve was in danger."
Rae looked over at him and smiled.
Slowly they began to talk through what had happened from the beginning of the call girl case right through everything that Phil Levington had done, not only to her, but Alex, Steve and Jesse too. She got very distressed and they had to stop a number of times. Steve helped her to fill in some of the parts she was a little hazy on, and held her as she cried, but Jesse said nothing and didn't move from his seat.
When they finally got to where Jesse had been rushed to the hospital and had been in the room where she had ended up this morning Rae looked over at him, and after working out for a while what she was going to say, she began to speak.
"When you were in that room you loved me…I felt bad that you were hurt, but I didn't run away…I need you, Jesse."
"Rae, don't. I can't do it any more; this is the end of it, ok? I'm sorry, I do still love you, I love you too much to stay with you." With that he got up and left the room.
Rae turned to Steve and brushed at her tears. "Can you get Alex to take me home, then you can sit with Texas?"
"Sure, I'll go get him. Rae, I'm sorry, when Jo is better we can talk, ok?"
Rae just nodded and Steve left the room. She turned to Brian Dobson and gave him a sad smile, then she stood up and walked across the room. "I was married wasn't I?"
"Yes, you were."
"He didn't like loving a cop either." Rae stared sadly out of the window, but Brian Dobson was considerably cheered by what she had said. She understood the situation that Jesse found himself in, and if she understood it then he had every hope that she would be able to deal with it, too.
"They told me I had children, and I didn't believe them, but you met my son, didn't you?" Rae cut across his thoughts as she turned away from the window.
"I met your eldest boy, do you know his name now?"
"Yes…" Rae paused and thought for a moment. "John…and Patrick and Mara." The smile on her face was sad. "How could I forget?"
"The brain is such a complex part of the body, that nobody can tell you why you forgot your children, but you have remembered them now, that is the main thing, maybe you can phone them when you get home."
This time Rae's smile was broad, "Yes. Thank you."
The door opened and Alex came into the room. Rae walked over to him.
"Hi, I believe you need a chauffeur."
"Yes, please, and a favour when we get home."
Alex took Rae's hand in his and they walked out together. Brian Dobson stood at the door and watched them leave. He had every sympathy with Doctor Travis, but he also knew that Detective Yeager was an exceptionally strong willed woman, he had a feeling that their relationship wasn't dead yet.
Jesse headed for the doctor's lounge and made himself a coffee. He knew that what he was doing was right, so why did he feel so bad. He had sat and watched Rae cry in Steve's arms and all he had wanted to do was push him out of the way and take over, but he hadn't said a word, and until he had walked out he hadn't even been able to leave his seat.
Whenever he looked at Rae he saw her lying in a hospital bed. He was supposed to save people, make them better if they were sick, and the one person that he loved most in the whole world he was unable to help. He tried to remember the good times, but they always seemed to be taken over by the bad. He looked at the time and saw that he was due on rounds. He put his cup down and headed back to work.
Steve rushed back to the ICU, he checked his watch, it had taken Rae just over two hours to talk through the memories that had come back. They weren't complete, but there was very little missing now. He went back into Jo's room and saw his father sat by the bed, holding her hand and gently stroking it. He put his own hand on his shoulder and Mark turned to face him.
"Hi, Son, how's Rae?"
"Alex has taken her home, or at least I imagine he has by now. Jesse was no help at all, and in the end he walked out."
"Try to understand how he feels, Steve, he loves her and he sees her going out to work every day and putting her life on the line for her job, or lying in here, because somebody has decided that she was in their way."
Steve knew that his dad was talking from bitter experience.
"You watch your partner… or your child… leave each day, never knowing if they are gonna come back alive. It takes a very special person to be able to cope with that. Trust me, it is the hardest thing in the world to sit with somebody you love that much, and know that there is absolutely nothing that you can do but just wait and pray."
"Yeah, I know, but…have you ever felt like walking away from it, like Jesse has?"
"No, Son, never." Mark paused. "But there have been times when I wished that you did something else for a living. I can understand a little how Jesse feels, and I know that it is a harsh thing to say, but maybe you can understand how we feel too, to a degree, while Jo is lying here."
"I'm sorry, Dad, I know that I put you in that situation every day, and have for years, but I love my job and so does Rae, and we are both good at what we do. If we didn't do it, who would? I feel guilty every time I see the strain in your eyes, but I couldn't ever do anything else, and I don't think Rae could either." Steve paused for a minute. Then he took a breath and continued. "Dad, Jo used to be a cop. She quit on medical grounds… after Waco."
"My goodness, you know, that was one of the few times that I was glad you were a cop here in LA and not somewhere safer."
They smiled at each other then, and Mark stood up. He hugged his son. "I love you, Steve, and I am very proud of you, I know why you do what you do every day, and I wouldn't want you any other way. I hope Jesse sees that about Rae because he is one of those special people and he'll be incomplete without her."
"Thanks Dad. I'll take over again now, but I would be glad of a visit every now and then."
"You can count on it." Mark turned and left the room and Steve re-took his place by the bedside of the woman he loved. He had been sitting there for just over an hour when he felt her moving her hand underneath his.
He pressed the buzzer and then watched in amazement, as she just seemed to wake up. "Jo, oh, honey, are you alright?"
Jo stretched and looked around. "What am I doin' here? An' what are you doin' here with me?" She paused. "Steve what is goin' on?"
He took her hand in his and began to talk. "Jo, what is the last thing that you remember?" Steve shook his head, this couldn't be happening to both Rae and Jo.
She thought for a moment. "I went runnin' with Rae, an' then I dropped her off back at her place…then I woke up here."
Mark came rushing into the room and stopped dead. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Jo was sitting up, looking like she had just woken up from a refreshing nights sleep. He moved over to the bed and took her pulse. "Well your pulse is normal. Steve, I'm going to run a few tests, could you go down to the doctor's lounge, and I will get you when I'm done?" Mark was completely confused. He shooed Steve out of the room and then he turned back to Jo.
"Mark, why am I here? Did I have an accident when I was runnin' with Rae?"
"No, honey, not in so many words. You were abducted. Shoved into a car, Rae was attacked and we hadn't heard anything from you until you were left outside the ER yesterday."
"Oh, God, Rae, is she alright?" Jo had been trying to talk the whole time Mark was telling her what had happened.
"Yes, I kept her in over night for observation, but she's ok. She has remembered almost everything that has happened now… and Jesse has told her that he doesn't want to go out with her anymore."
"What! Why would he go an' do a thing like that. I thought they were mad about each other."
"They are, Jo. He just can't cope with loving a cop. You should understand that, having been there yourself."
"Wait up. What did you say?"
"Jo, you were missing for long enough for Steve to go crazy. He looked up your records; he knows what happened after Waco… Steady honey, put your head down to your knees you will be fine in a minute."
Jo had lost all her colour as Mark mentioned Waco, it was as if somebody had unscrewed her ankles and drained all the life out of her. "Oh, God, Mark, I didn't ever want him to find that out."
"Well, when we have done these tests, you will need to talk to him, but he is still here. I know my son, he loves you, sweetie, I don't think he's planning on going anywhere."
Steve sat in the doctor's lounge, and thought over what had happened. He had been so confused when he had found out that Jo was a cop, or used to be one, but now that he had spoken to his dad, and seen how Jesse was behaving, he could understand why she had kept it from him. He knew that it didn't make any difference to how he felt about her, he still loved her, but the money, well that was a problem. But he would deal with that later. He dialled Rae's number, and for the third time in a row he got a busy signal. He sighed; he guessed it took her a long time to make a call these days. He leant his head back on the sofa and shut his eyes.
When Rae and Alex had arrived back at her apartment she had invited him in. She had told him what she wanted him to do for her and once they had a drink each, he picked up the phone and put in a call to London. It was very early in the morning, but he knew that it was important for Rae to do this straight away.
The phone was answered after a couple of minutes by a very sleepy voice.
"Hello, who is it please?"
"Hi, this is Doctor Alex Martin calling from Los Angeles, could I speak to Tony or John Yeager, please?"
"This is John, Alex is that you? Is it Mum, is she all right?"
"Hi, yeah, it's me, John, listen…"
Alex explained the situation to the relieved and excited young man on the other end of the phone, he told him how long it would take Rae to make up a sentence so that she could speak to him, but that she had written some things down that she wanted to say. Then while John went to wake up the rest of the family Alex handed the phone to Rae.
Rae turned the loudspeaker on for Alex and then waited until she could hear a voice again. "Alex, can you put Mum on?"
"John?"
"Oh, my God, Mum, oh, you don't know how good it is to hear your voice."
"I am so sorry. I can remember now."
"Listen, say hello to Patrick and Mara and then Dad, and then I'll speak to you again. I love you, Mum."
"Ok. John I love you too." Rae waited, and Alex could hear the next voice as it cut across the miles.
"Mummy!! Are you all better now? Mummy?" Alex could hear muffled voices and guessed that Rae's daughter was being told to wait.
"I am almost better, but I have to think a lot before I speak."
"Oh. Didn't you before?"
Rae smiled. There was another pause. "Yes, but not for so long. I love you, Mara. I want to speak to Patrick."
"Mum?" The boy must have been stood right next to his sister, for there was no pause.
Alex saw her face brighten again.
"Hi, honey, how are you?"
"Better now that I can hear your voice. We have all missed you, I love you, Mum."
"I love you too. Is your dad there?"
"Yeah, hold on."
"Rae is that you, you gave us a real scare this time." The voice of Rae's ex-husband was tired and strained, and Alex felt for the man who would have had to help his children understand why their mom didn't remember who they were.
"Tony, I have to read to you, or it will take hours."
"Ok, are you reading all ready, that sounded fine?"
"Yes. I have remembered everything, or almost everything. I'm sorry I left you to tell the children what happened. I will write to them and explain everything, but Tony… I'm not going to come home, I want to stay here."
"Rae!"
Alex looked up at her. He hadn't seen her write that down.
"I will write to you, everybody can come visit soon, I promise. I have to go now." Rae handed the phone to Alex and then went into her bedroom.
Alex was extremely embarrassed as he began to speak. "Hi, Mr. Yeager, this is Alex Martin, I'm sorry, but Rae has gone now, the accident has changed her a bit, when she has finished what she wants to say she just stops talking. She normally puts the phone straight down." I wish she had this time too.
"That's ok. Mr. Martin, could you please make sure that she writes to her children, today if possible, or even better sends them an e-mail. They need to know what is going on. This has affected them all."
"Yes, Sir, I will do all I can. Goodbye, Sir."
Alex put the phone down and went into Rae's room. She hadn't shut the door and he was about to speak to her when the phone rang. He turned back and headed to the living area. "Detective Yeager's residence…Oh hi, Steve… Oh that's wonderful… I'm sure we'll be straight back in… Yeah, ok."
"Rae, that was Steve, Jo has come round."
Rae came back into the room, "I want to see her."
"Ok, come on then. Lets go."
By the time Alex and Rae arrived in the ICU Jo was dressed and waiting for Mark to finish the last of his tests so that she could go home. Mark could find nothing wrong with her, and although he didn't like it he had no reason not to release her.
"Texas?" Rae ran up to her as she called out her name. "You look … great." She looked over at Mark. "Why does she look great?" She hugged her friend and then moved away.
Mark laughed. There had been no hesitation from Rae except that of shock when she saw her friend. "I have no idea, but she is fine and ready to go home."
Steve had been standing quietly in the hallway watching the scene in front of him. His relief was so great that he felt that if he tried he could reach out and take hold of it, but it was more than that. Rae seemed different to him as well. He shook himself out of his reverie and moved forwards.
"Hey, Rae, are you alright?"
"Yes… I spoke to my children and they are fine." She paused and put into words what she had been thinking since she realised that she had forgotten all about them. "They still love me."
"Why wouldn't they, Rae, because you couldn't remember them? Do you love them less because you didn't know about them for a few weeks?"
There was a long pause as Rae tried to gather her thoughts together. "No, I don't think so, when I heard them I thought I would burst." Rae looked at her partner, needing to hear what he was saying.
"They won't love you any less either. You are their mom, even if you had never ever remembered them, they would have loved you all their lives."
"Thank you, Steve." She walked over and hugged her partner.
Mark came out of the room behind them and smiled at what he saw. "Well, I have no idea how, or why, but she is ready to go home with you."
Alex had a wheelchair and he was walking back up the hallway with it. Jo looked at it, and then at Mark. "Oh, no, Mark, I don't have to ride in that thing do I?
"Hospital policy. You are our responsibility until you leave the building, and I am so confused by your case that I have no intention of letting you leave any other way."
"Ok, I'm sayin' nothin' more. I thank you for your hospitality, but I think I would like to leave now." She kissed Mark on the cheek, got into the chair and smiled up at Alex. "Let's go, young man."
They walked down to the parking lot and Steve opened the door to his truck for her, he had taken the wheelchair from Alex at the main doors. He looked over at Rae and then he hugged her again. "I'm so glad you spoke to your family, remember what I said, they will always love you, you're a good mom."
Rae beamed at him and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Ah, Steve, I think Rae is supposed to be the mother hen, not you! Rae did you want Steve to drive you, how are you going to get home?" Jo smiled at her friend as she spoke. She was so glad that she was all right.
"Oh, don't you worry about me, I'll find a way." She looked back at her partner, and he waited for her to speak. "I guess you won't be at work tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I will, I have some fences to mend. I'll see you there about ten, ok?"
Rae smiled him took hold of the chair and headed back into the building, she knew exactly who she wanted to take her home, she needed some answers. She walked back into the ER and found Jesse.
"Jess, I need a lift home, I want you to talk to me, please will you drive me?"
"No, I can't" Jess went to move away, but she began to talk again and he heard the desperation in her voice.
"Jesse, please."
Jesse took a deep breath and making sure his voice was steady he looked straight at her. "Rae, I'm staying here tonight."
"Oh, never mind!" Rae moved away from him quickly, but he heard the anger in her voice and saw the hurt in her eyes as she did so.
As Rae moved down the hallway she saw Alex coming the other way. "Hi, Rae, are you all right?" He looked at her with concern and she tried a smile.
"Yes, but I can't get home."
"That is no longer a problem, I am just going to sign out. I will take you." He was rewarded with a beautiful smile as he continued towards the reception desk.
Jo and Steve arrived home in time for one of Michael's wonderful afternoon teas. They sat together eating scones, jam and cream and drinking hot cups of tea. They had already had beautifully prepared cucumber sandwiches and to Steve's amazement also egg sandwiches. Jo smiled. "I don't get this treatment very often. I guess he must be worryin' about me."
"He's not the only one, I don't think I will ever forget how I felt when I realised that it was you lying in the parking lot. It was as if I was running through quicksand to get to you, like in a dream… or a nightmare… You know, I had so much I needed to talk to you about, things that I found out when you were … gone, but none of it seems important now." He leant over and kissed her on the lips and she ran her fingers through his hair.
"Honey, I'm so sorry. I don't remember what happened, but I know I caused you worry an' I would never do that on purpose."
"Shhh you're back now and you're better, that is all that matters." Steve smiled across at her, and then he finished off his scone in one bite and leant back in his chair. "Mmm, they were great. They're not something I normally eat, but they were a real treat."
They walked slowly out into the garden and ended up sitting together by the swimming pool watching the light get dimmer and the evening draw in. Jo cuddled into to Steve and looked up at him. "I love you, Lieutenant, thank you for bein' my knight in shinin' armour."
Steve felt her lips on his, and he scooped her up in his arms and began to kiss her with a need and passion that had taken over his very being. "Honey, let's go back in." Jo just nodded and they headed for the main staircase. Steve laid her gently on the bed and began to kiss her once again. He felt his t-shirt being pulled from his pants and then she was pulling at his belt, before either of them really knew it they were together on the bed and their bodies were entwined.
"Steve, darlin', don't be gentle with me, I need you so much, right now."
He looked into her eyes and the excitement in them heightened his impatience and he entered her with a groan. He felt her move her body in time with his, and before he had a chance to do anything more they exploded together. "Oh, God, Jo…" Finally he rolled over onto his back and lay on the bed, his chest heaving with the exertion. Slowly he felt his body come back under his control and he rolled towards her and began to kiss her once more.
This time they made love slowly and with a tenderness that showed how they felt about each other more than words ever could. As she felt herself come a second time Jo looked up into the eyes of her lover and saw a world full of trust and commitment. They rolled together and at home in each other's arms they slept for the rest of the evening and through until the sun came up on another day.