Disclaimer: The characters belong to Guy Ritchie and the setting is an imitation of the one in "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels".

Part seven - Revelations

Soap accompanied her upstairs. She felt both guilty and relieved after kissing Ed.

"You all right?" Soap asked, not wanting to know the answer, not wanting to care.

"Yeah. Sort of"

"Then I'm off"

"Soap" her voice stopped him at the door. "I'm sorry"

"You did great today. It worked up just fine. I shouldn't have said that you shouldn't go. There's nothing to apologise about" he desperately wanted to leave.

"Not about today" she came near him, putting an arm on his shoulder, she begged for his forgiveness again. "I shouldn't have kissed you. I hope you're not disgusted with me. You're my friend and I don't want to lose you over a stupid mistake like that"

"Why do you say that?" he was confused. *Disgusted? Mistake? She kissed me?*

"It's not my place to talk, but you have nothing to worry about. I know. I'm sorry you didn't feel comfortable enough to tell me this yourself, but I figured it out by myself"

"What?" he grew nervous.

"That you're gay. Jesus, I know I should've waited for you to tell me when you felt prepared, but I couldn't stand this tension between us. I couldn't stand you avoiding me. I hope we can get over this"

"You think I'm gay" he let the revelation sink in. "So how do you explain my reaction to your kiss? I don't recall pushing you away"

"Soap, do we have to go through this?"

He was about to set her right when her next assumption blew him away.

"I know you're in love with Ed. It's obvious that you were thinking about him"

"Why is that so obvious?" but before she could answer, he had a revelation of his own. "Because you were…"

The man left, without another word.

*How did I miss this? It was so clear... she didn't kiss me. She kissed Ed through me. She just closed her eyes and pictured him instead of me. No wonder she was so bloody passionate!*

Being secure about his sexuality, he didn't mind all that much that she thought he was gay. Probably many people think so. Those who can't explain his lack of sexual affairs probably think the exact same thing. But he didn't care about other people's opinions. He knew the truth and that was enough.

~~~~~~

"Because you were..."

Soap's words were still echoing in her room and in her mind after he left. Was that right? Was that amazing kiss just another fantasy in the long line of daydreams she had about Ed? She felt the warmth raising inside her at the simple memory of those sensations.

No. It had nothing to do with Ed. She was in lust with someone even more inaccessible. She felt the desire and the desperation with equal force. She felt her body in fire, craving his touch, his possession.

~~~~~

Addie was throwing up noisily in her bathroom. Bacon sat on an armchair and waited patiently. He came by to congratulate her for her cool behaviour, but he was happy to find out that she was not insensitive yet. Having found out about her past made him aware of how little he knew her. He took another shot of whisky.

"Hey, what you're doing 'round her'?" she asked.

"Mandy left me" came out of him against his will.

"What? Oh, God, I'm sorry! Why?"

Bacon lit a joint, too depressed to think that he wasn't supposed to do that in front of her. Addie poured a large Martini and asked him for a smoke.

"She's pregnant. She just told me that and packed. Everything was going so well" he said half an hour later.

"Do you love her?"

Bacon thought for a long while.

"Yeah. I fuckin' do"

"Did you ever tell her?"

"Sure"

"Not in those moments, you stupid ass! Women need to hear this" she added in a whisper.

"That seems to be about you"

"No way! I'm not waiting for anyone to tell me something like that"

"You're still in love with him… after all this time"

"I hate him. It's not his fault. I should've known better"

"C'mon, kid! It's just a crush. You'll get over Ed"

"Soap. I hate Soap"

"Why?" Bacon was wondering if it was the weed or he had no idea what she was talking about.

"Because he's a fuckin' poof" she whispered.

"Who told you Soap is gay?"

"Oh, come on, there's no need to hide it now. I've never seen him with a girl. He doesn't look or whistle or make comments about women. Naturally, I assumed he's gay"

"Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups" Bacon whispered blowing a cloud of smoke. "Maybe you should know. Before you introduce him to the guy of his life" the man giggled, amused at the idea.

"What should I know?"

"He doesn't want to talk about it… but we all know… It's only fair that you should know, too"

"What?" the suspense overcame the weed's effect.

"He had an accident… about five years ago. He was beaten by these bad motherfuckers. I mean seriously beaten. He stayed in the hospital for about two weeks. His spine was affected or something. Anyway, the idea is that he can't have sex. He likes women, at least he liked women before the accident, but he can't do anything about it"

Addie felt her head spinning. Not just from the joint. He wasn't…. She said… And he said… What the hell had actually happened?

~~~~~~~ Hours later….

Addie was walking aimlessly, trying to figure things out. Her steps took her to Soap's restaurant. Filled with regret, she walked away.

The guys were in Soap's kitchen, ready to celebrate the job. That was supposed to be the end of all their troubles. Big Chris was going to pay them, they were going to pay the debts.

For the first time since they had come into her life, she felt out of place. Addie walked away from the restaurant and two weeks later she crawled back to Ireland.