Chapter Twenty-One
Vowing

Serena had gone into the bathroom to change and get herself ready for bed. Hearing a knock on the door, she thought Trowa had returned.

"I'll be fine, Trowa. Go home..." she trailed off as she opened the bathroom door. Relena stood, covering her mouth as she laughed. "Relena? What are you doing here?" She wasn't expecting Relena to be the one who entered her room. "Where's Heero?"

"I came here to speak with you and Heero's out in the hallway," Relena said as she lowered her hand from her mouth. Serena nodded her head.

Tilting her head she took in Relena's appearance. Serena had never seen Relena in casual clothing before. Relena was wearing a light pink sweater with a pair of jeans. Her hair lay over her shoulder in a braid.

"I'm happy to see you're wearing my clothes," Relena commented. Serena blinked, looking down at what she was wearing. She had thrown on a pair of sweatpants and a plain t-shirt. All of which belonged to Relena.

"I'll return everything once I've gotten my own," Serena said as she brought her gaze back up to Relena's.

"Don't worry. Keep them as long as you need them," Relena offered her a smile as she stepped back. Serena thanked her again, motioning for Relena to sit down on the bed. Serena stood with her back to the wall closest to the door.

"You're too much like him," Relena said once she was seated.

"Huh?"

"I've been around Heero for seven years now," Relena bought a leg up, tucking it under her. "I know when someone is being protective of me. You don't need to be. Just relax," Relena smiled.

"Why are you here?" Serena asked. She had no intention of moving from where she stood. Even if Relena's statement was the truth.

"I came here because I wanted to thank you for what you did today."

"There's no need to thank me," Serena frowned. She didn't feel she needed recognition for what she did. It was simply the right thing to do at the time. Relena shook her head.

"Yes, there is. If you hadn't been there, who knows what Watson would've done?"

"Heero and Trowa could have handled it," Serena said.

"How did I know you were going to say that?" Relena said as she bought her hand up to cup her chin, resting her elbow on her leg. Serena lifted a brow but offered nothing in response. "It's true, but you came to help."

"What are you trying to say?" Serena crossed her arms over her chest. She knew the question was coming.

"Why did you come to stop Watson?" Relena lifted her head, allowing her hand to drop into her lap. "Why did you feel the need to come and help if you knew they could handle it?"

"Watson is a member of ROE," Serena said. Relena kept her face masked as Serena continued, "he was a former member of White Fang and before that OZ Special Forces."

"He was a Mobile Suit pilot then," Relena concluded.

"Yes."

"Can you tell me why he joined ROE?"

Serena wasn't sure where Relena's line of questioning was coming from. She wasn't sure if telling Relena any of this information was a good idea or not. Though part of her knew that she would likely find out one way or another.

"Same reason anyone joins a rebellion faction. They're either unhappy with being discarded as a soldier, or they're unhappy with the way their government is running everything."

"Soldiers aren't discarded. Just because we have disarmament doesn't mean those who once fought are forgotten," Relena looked down, clasping her hands in her lap. "We have programs to help those who fought in the wars. To learn to live in these peaceful times. We also have jobs set up for those who cannot find work."

"Those programs are only beneficial to those who seek out and use the resources provided. But you and I both know not everyone wants that. There are still those who wish to undo everything you've worked towards."

"Then tell me, truthfully, what does ROE want?" Relena brought her eyes up to meet hers. Serena could see the fighting spirit in Relena, but this wasn't a fight Relena could win with pretty words.

"Complete control."

"What do you mean by complete control?" Relena tightened her eyes.

"What are you getting at, Heero?" Trowa asked. They had been leaning against the wall near Serena's room talking after Relena had gone in to see Serena.

"She's not telling us everything. I want to know if you've been able to obtain more information from her?" Heero kept his voice as neutral as possible. But Trowa was able to detect the hint of anger.

"I already told you. She didn't want to talk about what had happened today," Trowa said as he pushed himself off the wall. "She's still upset from this morning and to top it off, someone attempted to take Relena's life. To be honest, I believed her when she said she didn't know this was going to happen."

"What did she tell you about this morning?" Heero crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Trowa.

"That J planned everything. The base in Germany, the e-mails," Trowa said flatly.

"You figured that out yourself?"

"Not all of it. It was easy once she told me that J set us up. I think the real question you and she have is why?" Trowa stated. Heero nodded his head.

"Then what else has she told you?"

"Nothing you don't already know," Trowa sighed inwardly. This was the same conversation they had daily. Heero turned his head away from Trowa.

"How close are you to her?"

"What do you mean by that, Yuy?" Heero glanced sidelong at him.

"She seems to trust you more than she trusts me."

"I don't yell at her," Trowa kept his face masked, even though his lips threatened to tug up at the corners. "I think you're reading too much into everything. She's not going to come out and tell us everything. She needs a little more time to decide if she can trust us."

"Time isn't something we have the luxury of right now."

"I agree with you, but you need to give her some time, Heero. You know more about her past than I do. From what you have shared with me, trust isn't something that comes naturally to her as it does for someone like Relena," Trowa kept his gaze on Heero. Waiting for any hint that his words were sinking in. "Serena just learned that she's been lied to. Her decisions from here on out will likely have a huge impact on her. You remember what happened during the wars to us," Heero gave him a small nod. "Give her a day or so before you go charging in there with some loaded questions."

"They don't sound any different than another faction looking for power," Relena said calmly. Serena shook her head.

"Their plans are more…" she trailed off trying to find the right words. "More… what they plan to do will be catastrophic to Earth and the Colonies. It's not just taking over the government and running it as they see fit. It's also the people they want to control," Serena turned to look back at Relena.

The gravity of what Edwards was planning came to the forefront of her mind. Serena watched as Relena frowned before breaking their eye contact.

And it would start with me.

"Relena," Serena said. Relena turned her eyes back to her. "You need to watch everyone. Do not trust anyone. Follow any instructions Heero gives you. If they try anything again, if this was planned, they will not hesitate. If you are captured, I cannot promise that you will walk away with your life."

"What are you saying?" Relena gasped. Her eyes grew wide as the words sank in.

"I cannot protect you against Edwards if he were to get a hold of you. It would likely mean that he would have me as well. If that happens… I don't even know if Heero would be able to save you," Serena frowned. "You need to do everything you can to protect yourself, do you understand me?"

Relena looked away from her. Serena didn't want to go into too much detail. She could only hope her words would get through enough to Relena that she'd understand the gravity of everything.

"You would protect me if you could?" Relena asked after a few moments of silence.

"Yes."

"Why?" Her voice was just above a whisper.

"Relena, your role in this world is far greater than my life is worth. You've done the impossible and brought peace to this world. There will always be those who oppose you, but you have to remember to always keep fighting for what you believe in."

"Your life is just as important..." Relena trailed off. Tears pricked the corner of her eyes.

"In a perfect world, maybe. But this is not a perfect world, Relena." Serena's eyes hardened, even though she knew Relena was upset by what she had said. "Do you understand what I've told you?"

"Yes," Relena said, closing her eyes.

"Tell me you understand the gravity of this."

Relena placed her hands in her lap after a moment. She opened her eyes with determination in them.

"I will not let them take control of our government. I will fight with everything I have… and most importantly, I will be responsible for protecting myself should something like this happen again. To protect those who cannot protect themselves," Serena smiled as Relena continued. "I will fight them. But you need to fight back as well. You need to be willing to work with Preventer. No more secrets, no more hiding anything. Do I make myself clear?"

Serena's smile faded as she lifted a brow. She knew Relena was passionate about her work. She also knew that Relena wasn't one to bow down to anyone.

"I know you haven't been forthcoming with information. That needs to stop and it needs to stop now. Do you understand me?" Relena tightened her gaze. Both Serena's eyebrows shot up.

"Understood…" Serena wasn't sure how convincing she sounded at that moment. She wasn't even sure how this conversation changed to this.

"Good," Relena gave her a curt nod. "One last thing before I leave," Relena stood from the bed. "You and Heero need to work on getting along better. You will be working closely with him and if you two cannot behave, how will we bring ROE down?" Relena looked pointedly at her. "We both know how Heero can be, he'll eventually come around. He did have you help him earlier, remember?" Serena nodded her head. "I will have the same talk with him later. All right?" Serena offered her another nod. "All right, then I'll let you be. Get some rest. I'll see you soon?"

"Get some rest yourself. Heero is staying with you tonight, correct?"

"Yes and I will. Thank you again, Serena," Relena smiled, turning to head towards the door. Serena fell into step behind her. "That isn't necessary," Relena said from over her shoulder. A small smile on her face.

Serena leaned her head against the door. Closing her eyes she listened to Heero, Relena, and Trowa talk. She knew Heero was angry just by the look he gave her when she stepped out of the room first. Trowa looked frustrated and Serena could only imagine the conversation Heero and he had. Slowly their voices faded away and Serena knew they were finally leaving.

Her conversation with Relena moments ago started to trickle back into her mind. Had she done the right thing by telling Relena the truth? Even if she kept some of the detail vague?

Heero would find out and that brought more pressure on her to tell them everything she knew. The real reality was, that J had never trained her for this moment. He had always told her to watch what she said in case she was brought in by Preventer. But he had never fully instructed her on how to handle this very situation.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm the rage that was building in her again. She may have been tired but her body and mind were at war with each other. J had lied, again to her. He sent her in hopes of having Preventer catch her. That was never part of the plan. She was to go in, gather the data and leave no trace she was ever there. Then she was to go to a safe house and contact him. Why go through the trouble? If his end game was for her and Heero to meet.

None of it made sense to her.

Taking another breath she opened her eyes, pushing herself away from the door, hitting the light switch on the wall as she walked over to the bed. Throwing herself down she held her head in her hands. Letting the darkness of the room envelope her. Everything was going to shit. When she decided to stay, after she had first woken up and found Trowa sitting in a chair next to her, none of this was what she had hoped for.

Why would she think about him when she had so many other things going on? Between Heero, Relena, Preventer as a whole, and the fact ROE was potentially changing their plans, why did her mind want to think about Trowa? What good was it going to do for her? It wasn't like he was going to magically help her figure out her next move, what information she should tell them, or what to leave out. He wasn't going to give her orders to follow.

Shaking her head, she dispelled the thought. Trowa wouldn't order her around, not like he did. Trowa had been the first person in years to show her any kind of kindness. He never judged her, even if he didn't know what she was capable of. He never pushed her to talk and always seemed to listen to her. As if she was a person and not a toy. He always gave her personal space, and even this evening, he had apologized for coming into her personal space. Hadn't she done that to him several times already?

A memory flashed through her mind.

"Serena… Serena Lowell," she said playfully to him as she leaned into him.

"Serena," he said, without pulling away. She nodded her head, a smirk on her lips. "Is that your real name or the name you go by?" He questioned her with a brow raised.

"Is Trowa Barton your real name?" She countered back, moving even closer to him. A small smile crept onto his face.

"Touché"

Their faces had been so close, her body had been pressed up against his and she had felt something then. Had he been anyone else…

Serena shook her head again. Trowa wasn't just anyone. He had yet to give her any reason not to trust him, but trust was something she couldn't give freely. She knew she couldn't trust anyone. She had let him get close, but she knew she still needed to keep her guard up. She didn't know him that well and he could turn on her at any moment. Any of them could.

The war in her head kept pulling her in different directions and after a few more minutes of trying to calm the battle, Serena gave up. She was tired and she knew the morning would come all too soon. Sighing as she stood, she pulled back the covers on her hospital bed. While it wasn't the most comfortable, she knew it could be worse. As she laid herself down, another memory resurfaced.

"Your only goal is to complete the mission. At all costs, do you understand me?"

As she lay in bed, she knew what she had to do. No matter what, she had to complete the mission.

A/N

Happy Friday!

So this chapter goes into more detail. Serena has a lot going on, to say the least, and her honesty with Relena was even shocking to me, considering I wrote it. Haha! Maybe she's trying to prove a point, one she was trying to get through to Heero. But why? Serena doesn't seem to know either but guess she'll have to figure that out for herself. She had a lot to figure out in all honesty, and hopefully, I've alluded to that. I hope you all have a great weekend and I'll see you all on Monday!

-MM