Chapter Twenty-Six
Crossing The Line
It had been a little over a week since Serena had started staying at the apartment. It was a slight adjustment at first though if Trowa were, to be honest, he was enjoying coming home to someone after work. Even if they weren't romantically involved. Just knowing someone was waiting for him made Trowa feel good.
Even their conversations during the day made him excited to go home and see her. Serena seemed more comfortable being at his place than she was being at HQ. Serena and Heero had even been getting along better than they had been prior to her living with him. They still argued about some things but for the most part, they weren't at each other's throats.
The first night they ended up eating pizza since he needed to buy groceries. It had been two weeks since he last went shopping, and it was something he needed to do regardless of her being there or not. Serena had offered to pay since she was going to be staying with him, but he had refused. Since then, she had taken it upon herself to make their meals.
Serena even made sure to keep the apartment clean and tidy, and even went as far as to do his laundry for him. Trowa hadn't expected her to do anything, but he understood that she needed some sort of purpose while being there. Other than working on the personnel files. Serena had managed to read one book and was currently working on a second. He knew being locked up in the apartment wasn't exciting but he trusted that she was adhering to the agreement and wasn't leaving the apartment.
It was Thursday night and Trowa decided on his way home to stop and pick up a bottle of wine. Unsure of what kind Serena preferred he grabbed a bottle of red and a bottle of white.
As he was driving to his apartment he realized he didn't even know if she drank any alcohol in the first place. What if the wine wasn't her drink of choice? Shaking his head Trowa knew he was overthinking and figured worse case he could just save it for when Catherine came to visit next.
Thinking about Catherine only bought back the earlier conversation he had had with her.
She had called to see how he was doing since he hadn't called her in some time. She had gone over all her usual questions.
"How are you?"
"How's work?"
"Everyone doing good?"
Then Cathy had dove into the one topic he didn't enjoy. His personal life.
"Have you found a girlfriend yet?"
"You know you should try and find a nice girl. Who knows? Maybe you'll even settle down with her. Everyone else has someone in their lives but you."
Trowa had said he would try -half-heartedly- though he wasn't sure if he wanted to look for someone or what he was even looking for. Long-term relationships were foreign to him. He never dated anyone long enough to even consider it long-term.
But Cathy did have a point. Everyone else around him had found someone. A special person who completed them, made them strive to be better men, and most of all forge a future with. Is that really what Trowa wanted though?
Duo had been the first to marry. Hilde and he had been inseparable after Libra and it wasn't long till they tied the knot.
Heero and Relena had gotten closer after the whole Mariemaia Army incident. Something had started to spark between them from A.C. 195 to 196, after Heero had recovered from the whole ordeal he vowed to stay close to Relena. Shortly after that their relationship truly began.
Quatre Winner, one of his closest friends, had even begun dating someone. It was a bit of a shock when Trowa first learned who the girl was but then again in some odd way, Dorothy Catalonia did compliment Quatre. They were both strong-willed individuals in their beliefs. And both were very goal-oriented. How the relationship had lasted this long was beyond him. Dorothy did try to kill Quatre on Libra after all.
But that seemed to be a pattern amongst their group.
Heero had threatened Relena's life numerous times. While Hilde had risked her life to help Duo, along with the rest of them. Wufei was another story. Though Wufei never said so much as a word about his private life, Trowa was positive that Wufei had also found someone. Which only left him to be the only one who was unattached.
He hadn't found anyone and wasn't even looking to find someone to share his life with. It was never a top priority on his list. Sure he had his fair share of fun, but that's all it ever was.
Trowa pushed the invading thoughts aside as he reached his apartment door. Balancing the bag containing the two bottles of wine carefully, he fished out his keys to unlock the door.
Stepping inside the smell of dinner drifted to his nose. Smiling to himself, he made his way into the kitchen. Setting the bag down on the island, he looked up to see Serena smiling at him from over her shoulder.
At that very moment, all the thoughts he had moments ago came flooding back.
Serena had on a pair of ripped jeans, a loosely fitting t-shirt that was exposing one of her shoulders. A lace strap sat nestled between her collarbone and the collar of her shirt. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun with a few strands falling around her face. Her face was soft as she smiled at him. But her deep blue eyes held him captive.
His breath caught in his throat as a small realization came to the forefront of his mind. Maybe he hadn't found someone because fate was waiting to bring someone to him.
"Dinner's almost done," her smile faded as her eyebrow lifted. "What's in the bag?"
Snapping himself out of his thoughts, Trowa looked down at the bag before looking back up at her. He had forgotten all about the wine. Slowly he pulled out both bottles. Setting them down on the island top.
"I wasn't sure what kind you'd like, so I got a red and white wine," he said. A smirk pulled at the corner of her lips.
"I like both. But for tonight I think the white would be good," Serena spun around reaching into the cabinet. Pulling out two wine glasses before she went in search of a corkscrew. Once locating it she brought all three items over to him.
"Do you mind? I'll get our plates ready while you change out of your work clothes," she said. Her eyes sparkled at him as she went to prepare their food.
Trowa quickly opened the bottle and poured the wine for them. Putting the cork back in, he set it off to the side as he moved the other bottle next to the fridge. When he turned around Serena was placing both their plates on the island. They had had a few meals at the dining room table before they ended up just eating at the breakfast bar. He normally ate there anyway and Serena had no objections about it.
He quickly went into his room to change into a shirt and a pair of jeans. Returning to the kitchen, Trowa saw her sitting down at one of the barstools. She smiled at him as their eyes met. The sparkle still lingered in her blue eyes.
Dinner may have been simple that night. Baked seasoned chicken with potatoes and fresh green beans but somehow Serena always made the food taste like it was amazing.
She had openly laughed at him the first time she cooked for him. He couldn't get over how great her food tasted and how it reminded him of Catherine's cooking. She had been quick to apologize for laughing at him but after he thought about it, Trowa couldn't help but laugh at himself.
It seemed as if from that night on she had been opening up more and more to him. He had been learning new things about her. What she liked and disliked. Places she had been to. The places she wanted to visit. He learned, like any other woman, that she loved chocolate. She had told him about the first time she had tasted it and how it likely led to her addiction to trying as many sweets as possible. It was those simple moments for Trowa that could turn a bad day into a good day.
In return, he shared information about himself. Though some of it she had already known. He had eventually asked her again how she knew so much about them. Serena was still apprehensive about the topic, but she eventually explained how J had files on each of them, and how she had gone over them while training. Trowa had quickly dropped the subject after. He had been enjoying her company far too much to push her away over information that at this point didn't matter anymore.
When they had finished eating, he offered to clean up the kitchen while he poured her another glass of wine. She had refused at first before giving in.
Trowa's eyes followed Serena as she made her way into the living room. Sitting down on the couch she reached over to the coffee table grabbing the book that had been laid face down. He figured she was probably going to try and finish it. He watched her for another moment as she settled into her seat before moving to clean up the kitchen.
Once the kitchen was cleaned up and the leftovers put away, Trowa grabbed his glass of wine and the rest of the bottle to join Serena on the couch. Serena was curled up on one side with her glass of wine in one hand and the book in her other. He smiled as he sat down and poured himself another drink. He looked up to see her tilting her glass towards him, eying the bottle on the table. He quickly took it from her hand, pouring a generous amount. Setting the bottle back down as he handed the glass back to her.
"Thank you," Serena said as she brought the glass to her lips, taking a long, slow sip.
"No need to thank me," Trowa said, smiling at her. Serena shook her head as she put her book down.
"No, I mean thank you for everything. You didn't have to clean up. You're the one who's at work all day while I'm here," she gestured around with her wine glass.
"And you've been here taking care of me and the apartment while I'm at work. Not to mention you are technically working yourself. I can help out too."
"I think if I weren't here, you wouldn't have as many home-cooked meals as you do now," she said as a smug smile graced her face.
"I'm capable of cooking my own meals. Though I don't make them half as good as you do," Trowa chuckled before taking a long sip of his glass of wine, he saw her face color in a light blush.
"You've been more than kind to me though. You're letting me stay here instead of being at some other place…" Serena smiled as she trailed off. A look in her eyes he hadn't seen before.
"It's not a big deal. I'd rather you be comfortable than uncomfortable somewhere else." Serena's blush deepened as she downed the rest of her glass before setting it down on the coffee table.
"I have something for you," she said as she stood.
Trowa was taken aback and confused by what she had said. His eyes followed her as she walked into the guest room where she had been staying. Though he wouldn't mind her staying somewhere else.
Preferably in his room.
Shaking his head, he tried to rid himself of the thought. Trowa knew it wasn't a good idea to think that way. He was attracted to her. Maybe even more so now than before, but he didn't know if she felt the same way. She flirted with him but it didn't necessarily mean anything. Serena kept her distance and rarely did they ever have any kind of physical contact. Maybe it was just the wine putting thoughts in his head.
Trowa glanced up as he saw her return with a small black box cradled in her hands. Serena sat down a little closer to him as she extended the box out to him. He looked at the box and then back up to her face. Serena smiled, nodding at him to take the box from her. Slowly he took the box from her hands letting his fingers graze her hand lightly as he brought the box closer to himself.
His eyes grew wide as he opened it. Inside nestled between black velvet was a black watch. The same one that had gotten broken during the mission. The same mission he found her.
"How did you…" he trailed off as he stared at the watch.
"I noticed that your watch was broken..." Serena trailed off for a moment. He looked up at her as she started to speak again. "I was able to find another one. So I replaced it. As a thank you… for everything."
He watched as she bit her lower lip. He couldn't believe she had gone through the trouble of replacing it. He appreciated it. Catherine had gotten him the watch as a gift two Christmases ago.
"How did you manage to find a replacement?" Maybe it was the wine but he couldn't figure it out.
"I have my ways," Serena's lips curled up as she leaned closer to him. Trowa was silent as he looked back at the watch and then back to her face. Her smile faded. "Are you not happy? If you don't-"
Trowa didn't let Serena finish as his hand shot up to cradle the back of her head, bringing her face to his. Pressing his lips to hers in a firm kiss.
He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do when Serena went rigid. Trowa was about to pull away when he felt her respond to him. Her lips pressed against his as her hands came up to tangle in his hair. Wrapping his other arm around her waist, he brought Serena closer to him.
The watch forgot as he felt her lips part.
Her hands roamed over his back before coming back to his hair as their kissing grew more intense. Trowa's hand slid up the side of her stomach, feeling the curves of her body while his other hand removed the hair tie from her hair.
Running his fingers through her hair, he felt her shift, moving into his lap. He couldn't help the groan that escaped past his lips as she pushed herself into him more. Trowa slid his hand from her hair, down her back to the hem of her shirt. His fingers found their way to the skin that lay beneath when a loud knock sounded from somewhere.
Trowa broke away from Serena wondering if he had heard anything. Half-lidded midnight blue eyes stared back at him as he leaned his face back in to capture her lips once again when another knock came.
Serena didn't know what was happening at first. She was taken off guard by the kiss that she didn't know what to do at first. But then slowly she melted into it. Serena parted her lips as she felt him pull her closer. He had removed her hair tie allowing her hair to fall against her back before his fingers started running through the long strands. His tongue searched her mouth as the kiss grew.
At that moment, nothing else mattered to her. It was almost intoxicating the way he felt. His mouth on hers, the way his body felt pressed against hers as she moved into his lap. Even the way his fingers felt touching, almost searing her skin. Something about all of it had her head spinning and her heart racing.
Then it came to an abrupt end.
Serena's eyes flew open as Trowa pulled away. Muttering something under his breath as he glanced at the front door, then back at her. He lifted her from his lap, moving her to the side before getting up from the couch and heading towards the door. Her chest was heaving slightly and her eyes grew wide as reality started to sink in.
What's wrong with me!?
Serena knew she shouldn't have let it happen. Shouldn't have let herself respond to him. Trowa wasn't some mission she was sent on, even though he was attractive. His lips, hands, and even his body felt good, almost right against hers. Why had she reacted to him? Shaking her head she tried to clear her mind as she listened to the door open.
"Heya! About time you answered!" Duo said with a huge grin on his face. Trowa glared at him. Did he just show up at his door and interrupt- "Hey, is Serena around?" Duo asked.
"Why do you want to know? And why are you here, Duo?" Trowa said in a low voice.
"I was on my way back to the hotel and figured I'd stop by and see how y'all were doing. Plus I wanted to talk to Serena," Duo either didn't notice or didn't care that Trowa was sending him a clear message that he wasn't wanted there. Instead, Duo looked around him, moving his head from left to right.
"You gonna let me in?" Duo asked as he looked back at him.
Trowa gritted his teeth. He was about to say no and send Duo on his way when Serena spoke up from behind him.
"What do you want, Duo?"
Trowa groaned inwardly as he looked at the time. Duo had been talking with Serena for almost an hour. Trowa was hoping that Duo's impromptu visit wouldn't be long so he could get back to more pressing matters. Mainly the woman who had glanced at him several times while Duo had been distracted.
He was frustrated in more ways than one. He hadn't expected to kiss her. But at the moment it felt right. Her lips were soft and her mouth fit perfectly against his. Even her body felt right. He groaned again as he thought about how she felt pressed against him.
Trowa had been half-listening to their conversations before the ringing of a phone broke through his thoughts. Duo had excused himself as he stood to take the call. Swinging his eyes to Serena, he noticed she was staring at him. Their eyes locked for a moment before she averted her gaze. Her face was somber as she stared down at her hands.
He wondered what she was thinking about as he watched her hands play with the hem of her shirt. Trowa silently begged with everything he had for Serena to look at him. To give him some idea of what she was thinking.
"Well, that was Hilde. She wanted to know if I'd be coming back soon," Duo said as he walked back into the living room.
"You should probably head back then," Serena said from her spot on the couch. "You don't want to upset her."
Duo waved a hand, "Nah she's not upset. Well sort of. She's a little upset that I didn't go get her and bring her here. She wants to meet you."
"Why didn't you?" Serena frowned.
"I had to stay late at the office. You're like Yuy with your damn reports. It took me forever to get through the last one you sent."
"Ten pages on my analysis of the members that I found within the agency isn't that long. I could have made it longer," Serena's face deadpanned.
"Yeah, well ten pages is too many. Next time keep it short and simple sweetheart! You're almost done too right?" Serena nodded her head. "Damn, I don't know how you've managed to go through that many files in a little over a week." Serena brought her hand up to her face. "Well, I better get going. It was nice talking with you, Rena! Trowa, I'll see you tomorrow!?" Duo waved a quick goodbye before turning on his heel.
Serena stood, walking Duo out. After saying their goodbyes, Trowa watched as she closed the door before pressing her head against the wood. He heard her mutter something in Japanese as she locked the door. She pushed herself away from the door only to stand stock still after she turned around. Their eyes locked before Serena slowly moved to the edge of the couch.
"It's late..." Serena trailed off as she averted her eyes from him.
Trowa knew whatever mood they had been in earlier was gone. There was no point in trying to spark the flame again. He could tell she was conflicted about the situation. Maybe he had pushed her too far.
"We should get some sleep," Trowa said softly. Serena snapped her head back to look at him. Trowa's mind went back to his questioning thoughts. Maybe he hadn't pushed her after all. She seemed to be having an internal struggle, it was clear from her facial expression.
"Yeah..."
Nodding his head he said the only thing left to say, "goodnight."
"Goodnight..."
Trowa moved past her towards the kitchen, flicking the light switch off. He turned to look at her before heading to his room. Serena bit the inside of her cheek when his door closed.
What am I going to do now?
Sighing to herself, Serena turned the light off in the living room. Once in her room, she pressed her back against the door. Closing her eyes she tried to think of something. Anything other than him.
Trowa had consumed her thoughts even while Duo had been there. She was able to pay attention to Duo and respond with appropriate answers or questions, but her mind had been elsewhere.
Her heart started to race again as she thought about the kiss. Serena had never felt the way she had when Trowa was kissing her. It was as if time had stopped and it was only the two of them. Serena had felt something in her chest but she couldn't put a word to it. It was a feeling she had never experienced before.
Her body had responded in a way that almost frightened her. But it also excited her. Serena wanted to know what the feeling was, to understand it. She could still remember the feel of his lips on hers. The way his hands felt as he roamed her body. Serena knew it probably wasn't a smart idea to let it happen again, even if she wanted it to.
Before Serena knew what she was doing, she opened the door to her room, walking out and back into the living room. Serena saw through the bottom of Trowa's door that the light was still on. She continued walking till she was standing in front of his door. Her hand reached up, her knuckles lightly knocking against the wood.
Within seconds the door opened. Trowa stood, shirtless with his hand still on the doorknob. Serena stared at him, her eyes ranking over his chest before landing on his face. He looked confused before quickly masking it.
"Is everything okay?" He asked. Serena opened her mouth but quickly shut it. "Did you need something?"
"No," Serena shook her head after a moment. She felt stupid. She didn't know why she was there in the first place, other than she wanted to explore more of what she felt earlier. But that wasn't rational thinking. Her body had gone on autopilot and here she was, trying to get herself out of the situation. "It's nothing important, it can wait till tomorrow," Serena said as she started to turn away from him.
Before she could get any further away from the object of her subconscious intention, she felt Trowa's hand grab her arm, pulling her back. Serena spun herself around and into his hard chest. Her hands flew up to stop herself. Trowa held her against him as his arm moved to her waist. Slowly she lifted her head to look at him.
"Why did you come here then?" His voice sounded huskier than before.
"I don't know," she whispered. Before she could think more, Trowa dipped his head, kissing her. And this time, she didn't fight against it. She kissed him back eagerly.
Trowa slowly started moving them, walking backward as his other arm wrapped around her. Her arms went up to wrap around his neck, letting him guide them. Trowa broke the kiss as he sat down on the edge of his bed, pulling her onto his lap before his mouth was back on hers.
Her hands went to his head, running her fingers through his hair, while his hands roamed under her shirt. Electricity coursed through her with every new spot he touched. Lifting herself, she pressed her body into him more before lowering her hips back onto his lap. Trowa groaned as he broke their kiss again. Tugging on the hem of her shirt, she leaned back, lifting her arms so he could pull the shirt up and over her head. He tossed her shirt to the side before his hands were back on her as his mouth found the skin on her neck.
Serena tilted her head, giving him better access as he kissed and nibbled at her skin. She felt his hands move to the band of her bra, unclasping the hooks. Serena dropped her arms from around his neck as he slid the straps off her arms. Serena briefly glanced at his face, seeing the lust in his eyes before his mouth was back on hers.
Serena didn't know or understand why she was acting the way she was, but she didn't care. All she knew was that she wanted him and wanted him badly. Whatever he was causing her to feel she couldn't put it into words, but she wanted to continue to feel it.
But it all came crashing down on her when Trowa moved his hands to her breasts, running his thumbs over her nipples. Serena stiffened as alarm bells rang loudly in her head.
Trowa was surprised and confused at first when Serena knocked on his bedroom door. A small part of him had still hoped she'd want to continue what they had started earlier that night and even though she seemed confused as to why she was standing in front of him after they had said their goodnights to each other, Trowa saw something in her eyes and he decided then to see if what he saw was true.
He took the chance, kissing her after she tried to walk away, and he was pleasantly surprised when she responded right away. Now here they were, Serena in his lap, half-naked, igniting the fire that was growing inside of him. Her hips rubbed into him, causing the strain of his need to almost hurt.
Then it stopped.
Serena stiffened when his thumbs touched her nipples and within seconds she was standing, covering her chest with one arm as she frantically looked for her shirt. When she found it and without making any eye contact with him, she turned on her heel, heading out of the bedroom. Trowa stood, watching her as she quickly made her way to her room. Serena didn't shut the door hard, but he heard the click of the lock the second the door closed.
Running a hand through his hair, "fuck," he muttered to himself. Had he misinterpreted her? Did he push her too far? But her body had responded to him, again. Serena had allowed him to kiss her, touch her, and he swore she wanted him just as badly as he wanted her. But where did he go wrong?
Sighing, Trowa closed his bedroom door again. He doubted Serena would come out. The confused, almost scared look on her face told him enough. Maybe she thought she was making a mistake, and if that was the case, as frustrated as he was sexually he wouldn't force her.
Walking towards the bathroom, Trowa knew he needed a cold shower. Even though he knew in his mind that the night wasn't ending with Serena in his bed, his body wasn't getting the memo.
Serena stood on the other side of her bedroom door clutching her shirt in her hands with her eyes shut. Her chest heaved as she tried to calm her racing heart. She didn't understand what had happened. One minute she was lost in the sensations Trowa was causing her to have, the next minute her mind had been assaulted by a memory.
Why was it at that very moment, something she hadn't thought about in years decided to rear its ugly head. Those memories weren't supposed to affect her. Serena had learned how to deal with them, learned how to block them out. But how was it that one simple action Trowa had done brought one of them to the surface? Or was it her subconscious reminding her that her body wasn't truly hers. That she wasn't supposed to be feeling things.
Taking a deep breath, Serena pushed the thoughts aside. She opened her eyes as she moved away from the door. Throwing her shirt back on before she grabbed her laptop from under some clothing in one of the dresser drawers. Serena sat on the bed as she opened the screen. She frowned when she saw that there was a new message waiting for her. Opening it she read through it.
Serena buried her face in her hands when she finished. How can I do that!? She thought to herself. New orders. Forever changing like the tides themselves. Serena wondered if she would ever truly get away from this. From them. From him.
Closing her laptop, she sat back on the bed, taking another deep breath. Serena needed time to think. Something needed to change. She couldn't go back, she'd rather die than go back to the hell she was living in. But could she do it? Could she break free from the prison that she called her life?
A/N
Happy Monday!
So I ended up adding a few more words... but I am not sorry that this chapter is over 5k. It feels sooooooo good to post a long chapter like this. I am someone who enjoys reading longer ones, personally. If you couldn't get through this one within one sitting, I get it, I need to take breaks too. I have been waiting all weekend to post this and I've been giddy about it. While I've been working on trying to make sure my chapters are more within a reasonable, consumable, word count, I still can't break old habits!
This chapter honestly change the storyline the first time around years ago. I do not regret it, I'm very happy I came up with the stupid idea, to begin with, because it led to something I wasn't expecting. Sometimes that's the fun of writing. There's a lot to unpack in this chapter. Obviously, there has been some growing tension between Trowa and Serena. I personally feel it would be something natural as they're living together and spending more intimate time together. (that was totally a pun) Trowa knows what he wants at this point, thanks to Cathy, cause sisterly advice is always great. Alcohol helps too, and maybe that's what they needed to spark the flames here. While we see two very different conflicting views of the situation, I felt it was important to explore more of Serena's perspective. Trowa is confused, and unsure if Serena wants this, but for the most part, Trowa knows he wants something. Serena on the other hand, her situation is very different. She's clearly been through some shit. So this is very much new territory for her.
For Trowa, he doesn't have anything to really lose, other than not getting laid. Haha. Serena has more in a sense. While I want to spill so many details and explain more about her, I can't. You will learn more as the story goes on, but from this chapter on the story takes some twists and turns and for me, this is where everything gets more exciting and interesting. I officially feel like my story is truly taking off now. Serena has a lot of thinking to do, and so doesn't Trowa. They've semi-crossed a line, but will they take it further? Does the tension become too much for either of them to handle? If I can't hint enough, then let me ask you this. Will Trowa finally get laid? Haha! Hopefully, these two can figure things out in the next few chapters.
I'll stop rambling. I'll see you all on Wednesday when we'll figure out if these two have come to some conclusion on what's going on with their new relationship? I'm not sure we can fully call it that. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your Monday!
-MM