Chapter Forty-Two
Don't Lose Focus

Heero had been spending more time thinking over the interrogation than he had been actually working that morning. Heero was starting to believe that Serena was dropped into his life to cause him more stress than he already had.

Heero would go from being somewhat content with Serena's presence to outright furious with her. They were too much alike which only added to the conflict Heero felt between them. A conflict he was convinced that Serena felt too.

Heero was trying, as best as he could, to control himself around Serena but she always managed to press some button that would set him off. Heero kept trying to see Serena the way everyone else did, but he just couldn't. There was more to Serena that the others weren't seeing. And Heero had every intention of finding out what the missing pieces were.

When his phone began to buzz in his pocket, Heero glanced at Relena. She was on a conference call and Heero knew he couldn't vocalize what he was about to do. Their eyes locked as Heero lifted his phone to show her. Relena nodded her head in understanding before turning her attention back to the papers that were scattered across her desk. Relena was going over figures with one of the representatives from L3. Heero made his way to the door before he brought his phone to his ear.

"Yuy."

"I didn't think you'd answer," Trowa's voice sounded with amusement. "Are you busy?"

Heero stood just off to the side of Relena's office door. Relena's assistant Jill eyed him with one brow raised.

"No, what do you need?" Heero asked, turning away from Jill.

"I wanted to inform you that Serena's beating herself up pretty good over what happened this morning."

"So? She should be. She was out of line."

"I think you're missing the point here, Heero. Serena's probably not as upset about how she acted like you are, but rather the lack of information she got from Edman. You only added more fuel to the fire by going off on her."

Heero huffed to himself. Why was Trowa once again taking Serena's side and defending her?

"I didn't notice anything different about her to suggest this."

"That's because you were looking but not seeing. Serena's just as disappointed as you and everyone else is, but you need to back off a little. You can't always be so harsh with her. Serena's trying her best to help and we all know it's difficult enough when you don't have all the information. She doesn't and that's enough to make every blow we receive harder to swallow. Serena spends more time working on everything thrown at her than she does just sitting around on her ass." Heero frowned as he thought over what Trowa was saying to him.

"I still don't trust her."

"I think you should. Serena's not who you think she is. She has a good heart, and it's in the right place. Serena wants to help and you need to let her. She's risking everything by just being with us. All of us can see that but you, Heero. If you don't believe me, you can ask the others yourself."

"I do know. I never said that I didn't, but I think all of you are forgetting who she was created by. It's enough for me to doubt her intentions." Trowa sighed on the other end of the line.

"I understand that, but Serena's not you or Doctor J. She's a person and you need to start viewing her as one. All I'm asking is that you take it easy on her. Last night you two were civil while speaking to each other, if you continue to do that I think you'd start seeing what we all see in her."

"Yeah," Heero growled slightly when he heard Trowa laugh.

"Maybe I should correct my previous statement. She is you."

"And this is why I have doubts. I know what she's capable of."

"Lighten up, Yuy. Serena sounds like you at times and sometimes acts like you but she's still different. Just be nice to her all right?"

"Yeah, I'll try and remember that," Heero deadpanned before he hung up. While normally Heero didn't mind receiving advice from Trowa, this was one topic he still struggled with. But maybe Trowa had a point. Trowa did after all spend the most time with Serena.

Pocketing his phone, Heero went back into Relena's office. She was still on her conference call but Relena smiled at him as he entered. Shutting the door, Heero made his way back to the small couch and coffee table he had been using as his office. Sitting down he ran a hand through his bangs, only to have them fall back into his eyes.

Heero recalled the morning once again in his mind. Serena had been staring at Edman when Heero first saw her, but that could've been related to the fact that she knew who Edman was. When Serena came into the room, she had kept her body language masked and continued to when she first started questioning Edman.

Then Heero's senses started telling him something wasn't right, right before things changed. Serena tried to intimidate Edman but when her original tactic wasn't working, she tried a different approach. Whatever it was, Serena had been successful with whatever she had said to Edman.

Heero's eyes narrowed as he went over the last part of the interrogation. Serena said something to Edman that had completely changed the way he responded to her. It had to be something she had on him. Or some information only they knew. Whatever it was, it had worked since Edman started talking.

Then it hit him.

Heero sat up straight in his seat. Serena had asked about Edwards. The way she had spoken his name, almost as if she was disgusted by just saying it, had to be what triggered her. Not to mention the fact Edman couldn't give Serena the location of her Gundam. But Edwards…

Leaning forward, Heero folded his hands together before he rested his elbows on his knees. Heero tried to think of a logical reason as to why Serena would be asking about Edwards. He could understand if it was due in part to what Edwards's original plan was, but that only brought Heero back to why Serena hadn't come forward early or tried to stop ROE herself sooner.

Shaking his head, Heero tried to focus. He couldn't bring up old questions like that. Heero needed to think of why Serena would want this information now.

Could Serena be planning to eliminate him? Possibly. Heero thought to himself. It made the most sense as to why Serena would be upset.

Sitting back, Heero went through a list of other possibilities. All potentially could be the reason for Serena feeling the way she was. 'You're looking but not seeing,' Trowa's words sounded in Heero's head. What if he wasn't listening? He heard Serena whenever they spoke, regardless if they were arguing with each other, but was he truly listening to her?

No, he wasn't.

Trowa was right. In more ways than one. Heero needed to try harder to be 'civil,' as Trowa put it towards Serena. Maybe then he'd be able to get the information he needed to fully decide if Serena was truly trying to help them or not.

Sighing, Heero rubbed at his temples. He was already starting to think of other reasons as to why Serena was with them. But Heero couldn't ignore the fact he still felt uneasy about everything. That and the voice of his subconscious was agreeing with him. The only difference was that it was telling him to worry about Serena's well-being more than anything else.

Serena sat in front of her computer once again debating with herself. All she had to do was hit the enter key and the call would be placed. But that meant giving in and possibly shattering her pride. Gritting her teeth, Serena slammed the screen shut. Serena couldn't admit to herself that she needed help. That she needed his help. Serena also couldn't deal with the fact that J may only send her on another wild goose chase.

It's his fault. Serena thought to herself.

She could do this. She could find her Gundam, destroy the other mobile suits and the base, then go after Edwards and kill him once and for all. Serena knew he was still alive, somewhere. Reaching her hand up, Serena felt the back of her neck, running her fingers along her spine. A constant reminder of him.

She would find a way to kill Edwards for everything he had done to her. A vow Serena had silently made to herself before...

Serena was so lost in thought that when she felt a hand touch her shoulder, Serena immediately jumped from her seat, and grabbed the person's arm, twisting it hard. Serena's face paled when she realized whose arm she was holding hostage.

"Trowa!" Serena shrieked as she dropped his arm. Her hands flew to her mouth, "I'm sorry. I… I didn't know it was you."

"It's okay," Trowa said as he rubbed his arm. "It's my fault, I only said your name once before approaching," he smiled softly at her. "Is everything all right?"

"Why are you apologizing for something I did!?" Serena stared at him wide-eyed. "I could've dislocated your shoulder or worse broken your arm!" When had he come home? Serena glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost five-thirty. Had she been sitting there all afternoon?

"But you didn't, so no harm done. But you're avoiding my question," Trowa said before he moved to the refrigerator, grabbing a water bottle from it.

"Everything's fine," Serena frowned at him. How could he be acting so casual? Trowa always seemed to end up being on the wrong end of her hands and now she had almost broken his arm.

"Liar," Trowa said, pointing at her. "Are you still upset about earlier?" Serena sighed as she moved to sit back down.

"How is it that you can see right through me?" She glanced at Trowa when he came to sit next to her.

"They say the eyes are the gateway to someone's soul."

"I'm not sure I understand," Serena's frown deepened when he chuckled.

"Your eyes show me what you're thinking as well as how you're feeling. Also, your body language is a dead giveaway at times too."

"A lot of good my training did if you can pick up on things like that." Serena turned away crossing her arms over her chest. She was slipping, if Trowa was able to read her then that meant anyone could.

"I was trained as well. But I think you're forgetting that I'm an observer. It's my job to look for these things. But I do have to admit you're very good at concealing yourself."

"Then what do my eyes tell you now?" Serena looked at him. Trowa sat up a little straighter before he looked directly at her.

"I see that you're still bothered by what happened this morning."

"I think you're just stating the obvious. I'm pretty sure we both know I'm not happy about the outcome," Serena deadpanned.

"Yes, but I also see that you're worried, maybe even afraid of something. Does it have anything to do with you potentially staying here?"

Serena's gaze tightened. She had thought about it. Especially after Trowa brought it up the night before, in bed nonetheless. Serena knew it was something Trowa was going to eventually ask her. She just wasn't expecting him to ask her so soon.

"I don't know what I want," Serena said. Part of her wanted to stay. She was comfortable being there. Even comfortable being with Trowa. It was a change from what she was used to and in some ways, it was what Serena had always wanted.

But the truth was, Serena was afraid.

Afraid that Trowa would learn the truth about her. It was only a matter of time, and it seemed time was never on her side. Was it worth the risk of staying with him? Was it worth potentially hurting him in the end? Not to mention Serena had other things she needed to handle first.

"What do my eyes show you?" Trowa asked, breaking through her thoughts. Serena stared at him before averting her gaze. "Serena?"

"You want me to stay," Serena said. Keeping her eyes trained on the top of her laptop. "I don't know if that's something I can do."

"What do you mean?"

"When the future is unknown, I can't say for sure if I'll still be around. There are certain things that I need to take care of before I can truly find my place in this world. Depending on the outcome of everything, I may not be able to stay," Serena said as she turned back to look at him. Trowa had a deep-set frown on his face. "Trowa… you have to understand I wasn't created to fulfill the life of a normal person. I have responsibilities and obligations."

"I do understand, but you don't have to do them alone," Trowa said. Serena shook her head. "Serena, you have people willing to help."

"It's not that simple," Serena sighed. "There are just some things I need to do myself."

"You can't do everything by yourself."

"Yes, I can and I will." Serena stood up abruptly.

"Let's just drop the subject," Trowa said, holding up his hands.

"How can you just drop a topic of conversation like it's nothing and act like it doesn't bother you?"

"Because I know you better than you think I do. Not to mention people tend to speak when they're ready and there's no point in pushing someone unless necessary. You're not ready to talk so we won't," Trowa said. Serena's mouth opened before it shut. She couldn't argue his logic. Trowa nodded his head in understanding. "Why don't we go out for dinner?"

"Trowa…" Serena sighed. This was another thing she couldn't figure out. She had gone from being on edge to calm in a matter of moments just being in Trowa's presence. Serena knew her guard was starting to waver more. "I'd rather stay in if that's all right?"

"Then take-out it is," Trowa said standing up. Leaning down he kissed her on the lips. "What would you like?" Trowa asked when he pulled away.

"Pizza," Serena smiled softly at him.

Trowa left to pick up the pizza and a case of beer. He wasn't sure if Serena would drink the beer or not but he didn't mind having some for himself. It had been a long day and Trowa had been trying to keep his distance from Serena on what had happened with Edman. He didn't want to push Serena away and have her close herself off from him. It was a fine line Trowa knew he was walking but in the end, he saw that it could be worth everything.

Serena was extraordinary in his eyes, in almost everything she did. She was kind and funny. Duo was right about one thing, Serena definitely could make you laugh. Even when she didn't understand how she did it. But Serena had given Trowa a run for his money a few times. She was sweet when she wanted to be, but Serena could also be one of the toughest people he had ever met. It wasn't necessarily a bad aspect of her. Serena was strong not just physically but mentally, which was something Trowa admired about her.

Her personality was like a breath of fresh air to him. When Serena would smile at him, Trowa couldn't help the butterflies that filled his stomach. Or the way Serena would push some of her hair behind her ears when she spoke his name softly. To Trowa, she was perfect, and that still hadn't changed. Even as he saw more sides to her. Then again Serena was under a great amount of stress. They all were, but she still managed to pull herself back into the Serena he had come to know and appreciate.

She was a carefree girl who smiled and laughed unabatedly. She was the girl who was currently sitting on the floor with him eating pizza and drinking beer. Talking about nothing and everything. Trowa wondered at times like this how he had gotten so lucky to have met someone like her.

Trowa smiled to himself as he listened to Serena's laughter. She always glowed after that made her look even more beautiful than she already was. His eyes followed her hand as Serena tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear, with a smile on her face.

"You're staring," Serena said softly.

"It's hard not to," Trowa countered as he took a sip of his beer. "Especially when someone so beautiful is sitting across from me." He watched as her face colored in a light blush.

"If you're trying to sweep me off my feet, you may want to try harder," Serena smiled mischievously at him before taking a sip of her beer.

Trowa's smile widened as he imagined them doing this more often. Just the two of them enjoying each other. This was the type of girl he had always wanted. One he could have serious conversations with but also be able to relax and just enjoy moments like this together.

Standing up, Trowa offered Serena his hand. She looked up at him puzzled.

"Then I'll try harder."

Slowly Serena took his hand with questioning eyes. Trowa moved them away from the coffee table as he placed a hand on the small of her back while holding her other hand. He waited as she brought up her arm, placing her hand on his forearm before he started to move. Guiding them in a slow waltz. Even without music, Serena followed his lead. Her eyes watched him as they circled the living room.

"I wasn't expecting to dance," she commented as he twirled her around.

"You told me to sweep you off your feet," Trowa smirked when Serena laughed as she came back around to face him.

"So you thought that this was the way to do it?"

"I could always just pick you up," Trowa said before he lifted Serena into his arms. "Is this more to your liking?" Serena smiled at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I didn't know you could dance."

"A simple waltz is easy to learn. I'm not personally a fan of dancing, but with you, I would," he said. Serena smiled at him, pressing her lips to his in a gentle kiss. Trowa lowered her back to the ground, resuming their positions.

They danced around the room till they slowed their pace to swaying in each other's arms. Serena had placed her head on his chest and even without music, Trowa had been enjoying just holding her. She fit perfectly against him, and Trowa's body relaxed, even more, when Serena tightened her arms around him. Smiling to himself, Trowa thought of something else that would make the evening even better.

"Will you sing for me?" Trowa asked softly.

"I don't sing for people," Serena said as she pulled away from him. Her facial features tightened.

"Not even for me?" Trowa frowned when she shook her head.

"I just don't… not anymore."

"Why?"

"Doesn't matter why," Serena snapped, turning away from him. Trowa reached out trying to pull her closer to him once again only to have her back away towards the couch.

"Serena," he said, trying to gain her attention but Serena was already sitting with her eyes closed and arms folded over her chest. "I didn't mean to upset you by my request."

When no response came Trowa sighed before he joined her. The chances of the night ending with them tangled up in bed were likely gone. He could tell by Serena's body language that she had no desire to even speak to him. Frowning after a few minutes of silence Trowa turned to retrieve his beer from the table. Bringing the bottle to his mouth, Trowa was about to take a sip when he heard something.

Snapping his head back around, Trowa was expecting to see Serena looking at him, or the very least that her eyes would be open, but she kept them close. Serena's voice was low as she started to sing. Trowa's eyes never left her even as he placed his beer back down. After only a moment, Serena stopped before slowly opening her eyes.

"Don't stop," Trowa said softly. Serena's cheeks reddened as she turned her head away.

"I don't sing for anyone anymore," came her soft response. Serena pulled her legs up onto the couch, wrapping her arms around her knees. Trowa debated on whether or not to push her to continue, but as he was about to say something Serena turned her head to look at him. "I'm sorry."

Trowa saw the regret in her eyes. Serena had opened up more than he was expecting her to. If Trowa were, to be honest, he wasn't expecting her to sing at all. Even though he had hoped to hear her voice again. Deciding against pushing Serena any more than he already had, Trowa simply smiled at her.

"It's all right. I still enjoyed listening," he said. Serena sighed as she stood up.

"We should probably clean up. Plus I have some work to do."

"You're not planning to stay up all night are you?" Trowa asked as he stood to help her.

"No, I just want to look at the locations J left." Serena shrugged her shoulders before she moved to the kitchen with their plates. "Maybe I'll see something I didn't notice before."

"I'm happy to help you," Trowa offered, following her. Serena turned to lean against the counter. Shaking her head before smiling at him.

"Some things I don't think I'll ever understand."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Trowa asked as she walked by him.

"Nothing. Just grab me another beer and come join me," Serena said from over her shoulder. Trowa shook his head as he grabbed two more for them before making his way back to the couch where Serena had set up her laptop. Trowa saw the twinkle in her eyes when he sat back down, handing her the beer. "Now let's see how much work we actually get done."

"Challenge accepted," Trowa smirked when Serena laughed. Leaning over, he kissed her on the lips.

A/N

Happy Monday!

Do you think Heero's finally catching on to something? What maybe the others aren't seeing about Serena? Or is Heero going to drive himself crazy and get constant stress headaches from Serena? At this point, Serena will likely be the death of Heero. But she hasn't hit that point just yet. Soon, very soon Serena will push Heero.

I know it's the same thing over and over again, but I swear Heero is figuring things out, it just takes time. Everything does and because this story takes place in such a short amount of time, all these new little details all add up in the end. But like anyone, we have to run around in circles trying to understand something, be it a situation or our feelings for a particular person or group of people. In this case, Heero trying to figure out Serena, the vain of his existence. Maybe Doctor J shouldn't have cloned Heero's DNA. Heero probably wishes that often... probably daily.

Although, I think Heero's still going to be on the struggle bus when it comes to Serena. As we can see once again, Trowa jumps to her defense and tries to talk to Heero. While everything Trowa says is true, there's a deeper meaning. While Trowa may think he's doing good, could he be potentially setting not just himself up but Serena as well? I mean he didn't come out and say anything, but I think this one little conversation is going to make Heero question other things more.

Serena... girl... how many times now have you almost hit Trowa at this point? You need to get your shit together. Heero, I think everyone could understand why you punched him twice, though still don't condone it, considering how much you want Heero to like you... but Trowa? Really girl? I think Trowa's just throwing Serena all off. Her head and her heart want very different things and Trowa's causing her to flip-flop a lot. (Don't worry, I'm sure it gets worse!) In Serena's defense, she's so used to having to protect herself that anyone and everything is technically a threat to her, so in all fairness, Serena being so lost in her thoughts that she doesn't hear anyone approach her, which is extremely ODD in itself, her reaction to Trowa touching her shoulder is somewhat understandable. For 2.5 seconds, Serena thought she was being attacked, and well, what do you do? You react and try and protect yourself. Unfortunately for Trowa, his arm almost got broken in the process. Good thing he's strong and that Serena let go. That and I don't think Serena was truly trying to hurt the person she assumed was attacking her. She could've done much worse.

As far as Serena's feelings, she's on a struggle bus, just like Heero, just a very different one. But something very important to note in this chapter, Serena has revealed her plans. Some very big plans. Steal her Gundam, kill Gavin and go after Edwards, where ever the hell he is. All while doing it by herself. Clearly, she hasn't learned ANYTHING when it comes to what she saw Heero do years prior. Pretty sure Heero teamed up with the other pilots because they couldn't do it alone. But this is just what Serena believes to be her responsibility. Even having Trowa tell her that she can't do it alone. That's another thing too, Serena opened up to him more and she's starting to realize little by little how her walls are being broken down by Trowa.

And to quickly touch on Trowa. Pretty sure he's seeing more than just stars in his eyes, I think they're turning into hearts at this point. Now... the question is, when will Trowa realize this? Will Serena know before it happens? I mean Trowa did ask her to stay with him, while they were getting busy in bed. Haha. Did anyone else find it sweet that Trowa would try and sweep Serena off her feet? I mean, Trowa tells Serena that he doesn't dance but he'd dance with her. Aww. (There's more meaning to that scene, but if I explain it... my author's note will be even longer. Just know that this little moment for Trowa and Serena is significant in many ways.)

I also love a good full-circle moment. This is why Serena laughs at the end of this chapter. Not only because of what Trowa said, but the fact Serena said those exact words. There will be more full-circle moments, only because I'm a sucker for me.

I'll see you all on Wednesday with chapter 43, Girl Talk. Wonder what that's going to be about?
-MM