Dedicated to whoever was responsible for the translation of the original FF II for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. English and Japanese, I know, are both hard and very different languages. Thanks, whoever you are, for making ends hilariously sorta-meet in the Wonderfur Worrd of Engrish.
In the shadows of the murky ruins of Eblan Castle, Rydia Drake appeared to be alone. (Why the hell Rydia would opt to be alone in EDGE's castle, I have no frellin clue) She stumbled along quietly, her mint gown rustling against the mildew-covered stone that once housed the finest of the ninjitsu arts.
Appeared to be alone. Appeared to.
Creeping about with cat-like grace, claws gleaming, the monk stalked his prey. His eyes glowed in his evil-induced trance. He was hypnotized. Yes, he only had to inch a bit closer to the beautiful Caller...
Finally, he was close enough. With a terrific leap, Yang Fang Leidan made his presence known with a terrifying battle-cry:
"ACHOOOOOO!!!"
Rydia's emerald-cut eyes widened in terror, "Screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!!" She shouted, blocking her face with her hands.
A flash of orange and black sailed in front of the Fabulian menace. With a clang, Yang's skull connected with the flat of the Masamune.
His eyes peering over the top of his mask, Edward Edge Geraldine de Eblan narrowed his eyes at his foe.
"You," he growled at the quickly-recovering Yang, "You will not be of hurting Rydia, ass! Hole." The corners of Yang's mouth merely curved upward in a cocky smirk.
"Don't move Ninja I will drain you're stamina like serpent." Edge bit his lip.
Suddenly, the door to the castle basement flew open, revealing a team of five faces Edge was all-too-glad to see. With Cid emitting an all-caps cry of "BUUUUULL-SHIIIT!", the Paladin Cecil lunged toward the monk, Crystal Sword in hand.
"Hah!" Yang shouted as he dodged deftly. Cecil growled at him.
"You had a narrow escape!" He spat.
Rosa had her bow at the ready, her doe eyes wide with concern. "Yang. What wrong with him?!"
Kain, who was standing to her left, strained to see what was going on, desperation in his voice. "He is of being controlled by Golbez!!" And again, Rydia Drake's cries pierced the room:
"Screaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!"
Edge looked panicked. "Now!! No talk loud!" He hissed, ready at any moment for the hypnotized Yang to come jumping out at them both.
But Yang was nowhere to be found.
A soft, feminine voice was hesitant. It belonged to the last member of the Group of Five, Edward Chris von Muir. "Where is. Now?"
Three mages then ran into the room -it was getting quite crowded- one old and gray, two in their youth. The eldest grabbed his staff and began to whap the unsuspecting king.
"YOU SPOONY BARD!!"
After Edward's cries had softened, there was a tense silence.
Suddenly broken by Cecils commanding cry, "Show up!" Kain raises his gloved hand for silence.
"He is still hiding. Being of barrels maybe hidden? Yes."
"I help you to fight," said Rosa. "Run out of bows not will, refill items." The younger white mage piped up.
"Be sure to switch item of use to hand!"
"But. I don't see him.." Said her younger brother. He was soon thwapped.
"Shut up!"
Then, that was the moment that the demon struck again in the dark!
"ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
Again seeing the karate man come toward her, Rydia cried out a third time, "Screaaaaaam!!"
It was at this point that Edge sweatdropped. "Aw shit, not again..."
END.
Any improper spelling, grammar, and fragmented sentences left in the prose are supposed to be there; I intentionally did not read it over even once to give it that lovely Engrish Feer.~.^