TEA TIME AT HAGRID'S
Dumbledore led the way down to everyone's favorite gamekeeper's hut. Following him were Harry, Hermione, Ron, Sirius, Lord Voldemort, Oliver, Lupin (who hadn't seen Hagrid for awhile), and Tom Riddle. Dumbledore turned around.
"Ok, so who has the ring?" Everyone looked at Dumbledore a little confusedly, except for Hermione. Dumbledore looked at Harry. "Come on, Frodo, I know you don't want to go to Mordor, but really. You must, or all of Middle Earth will be destroyed. There is serious peril about." He turned to Ron. "And you Samwise Gamgee. Really, think of the Shire and Gaffer. You want to go back to Rosie, don't you? There are no gardens around here."
"Well, I must admit the old Gaffer would be mighty disappointed if the gardens in the Shire were to-hey! What are you talking about?!?" Ron asked confusedly. Lupin had the expression of one who has an idea what's going on, but is not completely sure. Hermione's eyes grew large.
"Oh, I know what you mean! My love battles near the barren land of Mordor," she rolled her r's. "He, Elendil's heir, wields the blade that was forged anew, Andùril, to protect the goodly Men of Gondor…" Hermione trailed off, glowing in praise for 'her love'." Ron gave her an odd look.
"Since when did Gilderoy Lockhart get a sword called 'Andùril' and actually protect people? And when did all of you start talking so weird?" Harry looked at Hermione.
"Arwen? Since when did your hair get so bushy? And you seem shorter…"
"Quiet, Frodo. Just carry the ring." Lupin looked from Gand-Professor Dumbledore to Hermione.
"Well, since the Headmaster is over a hundred, I suppose that he has the right to a few senile trips, but I don't know what Hermione's excuse is…" Dumbledore shook his head.
"So, who wants tea?" Harry and Ron exchanged looks.
"We do!" Olive Wood looked at Tom Riddle.
"Tom, I'm hungry." Tom shrugged.
"Can't you wait the next few steps to Hagrid's?" Tom stopped dead in his tracks. His mouth dropped open. "MUSHROOMS!!" Oliver and Tom run off and stuff their faces with luckily non-poisonous mushrooms. Dumbledore shook his head again. The Fellowsh- I mean, group of students and teachers piled into Hagrid's hut, which amazingly held all of them comfortably. On the fire was some pot that bubbled a liquid that was putrid purple, with smoke pouring off it. Hagrid looked up at the guests.
"Oh, hello. Sorry, I was just in the middle of something…" The body of Malfoy lay on a chair in the corner (not a dark one). There was a clattering in the kitchen area and suddenly, a somewhat decrepit, but nonetheless kind of pretty lady came out with a teapot. She looked somewhat the worse for wear. Harry's mouth dropped open, Voldemort began to get the scary-angry look, Dumbledore raised an eyebrow and Lupin looked slightly confused. Ron elbowed Hagrid.
"Good on yer! You finally got a girlfriend?" Hagrid blushed beneath his beard.
"Er, yeah." Harry gaped at her.
"MOM?!?!?!?" Voldemort looked at Harry, hurt. "I mean, BIOLOGICAL MOM?!??!?" Voldemort now turned the scary-angry face on the lady.
"You…you! I thought you were dead!" Lupin nodded. Dumbledore looked at Hagrid.
"Well, Rubeus, is there something you might want to explain? Like why you are living with such a controversial dead woman and you have the corpse of Malfoy in your living room." Hagrid held up a book. It read on the cover Learn to be a Necromancer in Just Seven Days! Hagrid looked at his feet and blushed.
"Weeeeel, this got delivered here with some wizards name on it, I think it was…oh yeah! Regis Philbin. So, I decided it looked interesting, and I started reading. I got to day four when some nice bloke in the pub told me that they misspelled one of the words, and that they meant someone who loved dead people. And, well I love this lady, allus have. Since I knew where there was a bone or two of hers, I brought her back to life." With this, Hagrid's chin came up and he squared his shoulders. "And, I can if I want to." Dumbledore threw his hands up in the air.
"And Mr. Malfoy?" Hagrid smirked.
"Ah, well there you have to talk to a Miss Pansy Parkinson. She's over there." Hagrid pointed to Pansy, who was perched on a chair, sipping s cup of tea, and trying to look like she was enjoying a treacle sandwich Hagrid made her. When the attention was turned towards, her, she got that deer in the headlights look. She didn't say anything, but that could because of many reasons. For example, fear, bashfulness, grief, or just the fact that her teeth were glued together from the treacle. She turned the deer-in-the-headlights look on Hagrid, and he had mercy.
"Mus' be bashful. Anyway, she came here to ask that her boyfriend," he winked and nudged Harry, almost knocking him over, "She wanted me to work my newfound…erm…TALENT on him." Pansy blushed. The weird bubbling, well, cauldron started blorping and Hagrid smiled. "Here, watch this." Hagrid opened Malfoy's mouth and poured some of the purplish-greenish liquid in, then sloshed some on his wound. Then he dumped the rest of the contents onto the garden underneath his window. " 's great fertilizer."
The group of them craned their necks to see the mutant plants that were writhing. Harry spoke up again.
"Oh." They all looked at Malfoy in anticipation, as the body thrashed around. Draco's tongue turned kinda foamy, and other things that aren't very pleasant sounding happened. Hagrid looked a little worried.
"Er, that didn't happen with my delicate flower…" Hagrid flipped through his book, then read some. He finally hit his head. "Whoops! I never was very good at potions…" All together now…
"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Pansy even managed to separate her teeth to shriek this question at Hagrid. Ron, Harry, Hermione, Lupin, Oliver, Tom, and Sirius all asked this question with gleeful curiosity, Dumbledore with a bit of concern, and Pansy with absolute, hair-tearing, tears, banshee-wailing, high pitched, etc, fury. Hagrid looked a bit embarrassed. "Where can I put my face? Well, I kinda…did something…not very good…He'll be a bit…different." Pansy grabbed Hagrid by the collar of his shirt and shook.
"For goodness sakes, man! There aren't enough periods in the world for all your litte dot dot dots! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SLITHERING SNAKE?!?!??!?" Everybody went silent.
"Well, I put the ingredients in the wrong order. So, what the book says is that his personality traits may be, well, reversed." Everybody but the panicking Pansy and the zombie Lily cheered. Hermione just had to ask a question.
"But, what was that thrashing?" Hagrid held up a finger.
"Now that's a question I can answer!! He's been a pretty slimy git, right?" Most of them nodded. "So, the good personalities, long repressed had to put up quite a fight to gain control. Pansy was pale.
"You mean…he'll be nice?" Hagrid nodded. Pansy's head fell down. She shook her head as if defeated. "That's even worse than him being dead." She left. They all shrugged. Meanwhile, Voldemort, who had been making nasty faces at Lily, with twitching hands, looked up with a hungry look on his face.
"Um… Hagrid? Could you bring someone else back? Like, say if you had a lock of their hair?" Hagrid beamed.
"Oh, sure! Hair is easy! Simple potion too!" With shaking fingers, the evil Lord took out a pouch that had lain next to his skin. He took half of a lock of hair, black and very shiny, out and gave it to Hagrid. Hagrid, humming happily to himself, whipped up a potion while Lily served tea, closely questioned by Harry and Lupin. Voldemort hovered over Hagrid, stroking the pouch with that aforementioned long white hand. Ron sulked. Hermione was composing a poem to herself about the good qualities of Gilderoy Lockhart's hair, and deciding to beg for a lock of that hair. Finally, Hagrid muttered some words under his breath and stirred the pot furiously. A thin, wraith-like figure floated out of the pot and coalesced in front of the gigantic fire. Spooky sad music started playing in the background. Everyone, except for Hagrid and Hermione started to look for where it was coming from. Hagrid waved his hand.
"Ignore it. It always starts up when I start to do this," Everyone then realized that while they had been enjoying watching Malfoy literally squirm, music had in fact been playing. Hagrid looked thoughtful. "But this is a new song. Not the usual." Hermione, our resident know-it-all, as she will continually be pointed out to be, a tool of the author to make the plot more obvious, like we are now, waved a finger.
"Of course. Note the poignant strain. Obviously some tragedy is going to happen because of this act." The music slowly fading, dying on a note, as such music usually does.