EPILOGUE
Gilderoy Lockhart eventually dumped Hermione after which she took a job in London as a writer's aid(-oh, you know, where she points out problems with the plot to authors. And sometimes she becomes a character to point out to the other characters and the readers little bits of the plot that perhaps, they would not have found out on their own…eh hem…). Gilderoy, on the other hand, settled down in a nice house with a large mirror, and his only love—himself…
Ron eventually got over his little fling with the Dark Lord. He became a flamenco dancer on a cruise ship. He changed his name to Rhonda. His loyal friends applaud him reluctantly still.
Harry…well Harry became president of America. They all look to him as a marked improvement on their last president, that cowboy guy, whatsisname. The people of America look to him to lead them to a new golden age with a wonderful economy.
He still has no one…
Dumbledore hooked up with Gandalf and they play chess with Shadowfax on a regular basis on Gandalf's little ranch.
Malfoy joined Rhonda as a flamenco dancer.
Sirius makes many many little kids happy as a Macy's elf. His name, for now, is Crumpet. In the off season, he works at Walmart.
Oliver and Tom still do hero-ing (yay!). Oliver is very happy with his new family and Professor McGonagal and Professor Lupin still have fights about the shedding thing, but they are pretty happy together.
Hagrid and Lily are very happy together. Lily still doesn't talk much.
Lord Voldemort and his little lumpkins are spending lots of time by the celestial pool sipping sherbert. Lord Voldemort has taken up topiary.
THE END