I Can't Believe It's NOT Butter!!! Part 2
**
Cutie Corner
NoV: (still tickling Xelloss) Welcome to part 2!
Xelloss: (periodically laughing) Hello. (looks defeated) Will you stop now?
NoV: Oh-kay. I'm starting to get tired, anyway. (gets up, and extends a hand to help Xelloss up)
Xelloss: No need! (teleports into an upright position) Ow.. (lifts up his shirt slightly) You bruised my ribs!!! I didn't think it was possible, but you did!
NoV: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Xelloss: I'm gonna sue you! Phibby, be my lawyer.
Phibby: Kay!
NoV: Oh-kay, anyway, I was thinking of doing an extremely dramatic fic as soon as I'm through with this one. We should have a voting session about it pretty soon, so stay tuned!
Xelloss: I'm suing you in the intermission!!!!
**
Everyone's mouth hung open as they stared at Gourry.
"Brilliant, eh?" Gourry asked, smiling brightly.
Lina started laughing, wildly. "You want to be the butter guy?" she asked. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life! You're crazy!"
"But, I thought it was a good idea." Gourry pouted.
"It is a good idea, Mr. Gourry," Amelia said, encouragingly. "As soon as you grow up, you can make all of your dreams and fantasies come true! Why, Justice is all you need, to-MMPH!!"
Xelloss covered her mouth from behind her. "Please don't talk like that."
"But, it's my plan, and I wanna do it!!!" Gourry whined, stomping his foot.
"Please, Gourry," Lina said, dryly, recovering from her laughing spell, "they'd never hire you. You have to actually have some kind of intelligence to be in a commercial."
"Actually, Lina-" Xelloss began to interrupt, but stopped when Lina glared at him.
"But I am intellimelent!!!!" Gourry protested.
"You're not doing it and that's final!!" Lina roared, domineeringly.
"But I wanna do it and you can't stop me!!!" the blond cried, running out of the building, covering his face with his hands, as if crying. He ran into a wall, not being able to navigate with his eyes closed. "Ow." He moved his hands, shook his finger at the wall, and redirected himself out the door.
"Mr. Gourry, wait!!" Amelia shouted after him. She slumped in her position. "We should have stopped him." She turned viciously to Lina. "And you should have been more supportive of him, Miss Lina! You crushed his dream, and broke his poor, lil Goo-heart, and now he's run away, and we might never ever see him again!!!
"Scuse me!" Gourry called from the doorway, smiling, cheerily. "Do you know where Butter Studios is?"
"It's right nextdoor to the inn," Xelloss told him. "Weren't you paying attention to the commercial?"
"Oh yeah! Thanks!" With that, the swordsman ran out of the room again.
"I say we go to that studio with Mr. Gourry and be supportive like good friends should!" Amelia decided, placing a fist high in the air.
Zelgadis, having been silent for the entire conversation, spoke up. "I agree," he said, simply.
"I wanna go eat butter!!!!" Xelloss suddenly shrieked. Everyone stared at him. He smiled sheepishly. "Actually, I just wanna rub it all over my body."
Lina looked sickened. "Let's just go."
**
Gourry stood in line to try out for the commercial. There were a lot of men, but even more women, with long, blond hair standing there, hopefully waiting.
The swordsman teetered back and forth on his heels, whistling to himself.
Gradually, the line moved, inch by inch every hour or so.
Gourry had begun to converse with some of the other people in line.
"So, there I was, face-to-face with a giant bowl of gelatin, unarmed, and wounded," he exaggerated, making strange motions with his hands. "The gelatin rushed at me, so I grabbed the only thing close-by: a spoon. And, then I ate it! And it was good."
The three other blonds stared at him, incredulously. "Wow," one commented.
"Isn't it?" Gourry asked, eyes big.
**
Phibby's Prosecution:
NoV: I can't believe you're actually suing me for bruising your ribs while tickling you.
Xelloss: Technically, I'm suing your for child abuse.
NoV: What? How are you going to manage that? What's your defense?
Xelloss: You're a child and you abused me.
NoV: -.-0 You're WEIRD!!!
Xelloss: Thank-you. BTW, just who are you getting to defend you?
NoV: Bishy-chan, of course!
Xelloss: Isn't that a little..um..sad?
NoV: Well PHIBBY sent Zelgadis to Hawaii, where he is probably miserable.
**
Zelgadis: CONGA LINE!!! (Dances)
**
Xelloss: Isn't Bishy still in the closet though?
NoV: Bishounen! Come out of the closet!! (receives oblivious stares) What???
Bishounen; (looks drowsy, stepping out of the closet) Goo-morning!
Xelloss: You could get Goo-chan to be your lawyer!
NoV: -.- No. Bishy's better. Plus Gourry's busy rehearsing for the next part of the ficcie.
Gourry: Butter, I am the butter, I see the butter, butter, butter, butter.
NoV: See?
Xelloss: (sigh) Fine. But you're gonna lose the trial.
NoV: See you during the after-ficcie Cutie Corner/Phibby's Prosecution!
**
After hours of endless toil and waiting, Gourry's turn had come. He was directed to a little stage with a microphone and a girl, who was really a mannequin.
He couldn't see because of all the bright lights in his face, but he heard the director.
It was Milgasia. Standing beside the dragon were Lina, Xelloss, Zelgadis, and Amelia. Milgasia constantly inched away from Xelloss, having developed a phobia of him even since the 'Oh Dragonfly, Dragonfly' incident.
"Lights," Milgasia said, emotionlessly. A barrage of even brighter lights shined on Gourry. "Camera." The camera switch was flicked on. "Say it," he told Gourry.
"Say the butter thing?" Gourry questioned.
"Yes. The butter thing."
"Oh-kay!" The blond cleared his throat, ceremoniously. "I absolutely, positively, 100% and oh-so-certainly, to the square root of 543, just can't conceive in my tiny mind that it's-not butter." He took a bow.
"Good," Milgasia said, again with no excitement. "You win."
"I did??" Gourry squeaked. "Yay! My dream has come true!!!"
"Not you," the dragon grumbled, shaking his head. "Suzie the dummy."
Gourry looked at the mannequin. He sadly shook its hand. "Congratulations, Suzie," he said, morosely.
"Just kidding," Milgasia told him, in his usual manner.
Lina bonked him on the head. "You know that REALLY irritates me."
"Keep dragonfly-boy away from me, and I tell no more jokes."
"You've got yourself a deal."
Gourry sniffled, leaving the arena. "I hope Suzie likes being the butter man."
"Mr. Gourry!" Amelia cried. "You've won!!"
"I have??" the swordsman asked, confused. "I thought Suzie the dummy won."
"No, no, silly Mr. Gourry," the oujo said, laughing. "Mr. Milgasia was only joking!"
Gourry gasped. "Really? Yay!!! I won! I WON!!!" He began to dance around on the stage, grabbing the mannequin for a partner. "I won, Suzie, I won!! I- Eee. Suzie, you smell like freeze-dried cow manure." He glanced around to see if anyone was looking and kicked her through a trap door. He walked away, humming.
**
Phibby's Prosecution:
Amelia: All arise for his Mr. Honorable, the Judge of this courtroom!
Rezo walks in
Amelia: You may take your seats! (strides to the jury box)
Rezo: Prosecution, you can make your opening statement.
Phibby: (skips to the front of the courtroom) Ladies and men, take one, Xelloss Metallium, tragic injury, and Nova-chan. These three simple beings had no idea that they were about to be hurled into..the Twilight Zone.
Minna: (groan)
Phibby: Just kidding! Just wanted everyone to know that I'm gonna win!! ^.^ (skips back to his chair and makes faces at Nova-chan)
Rezo: Defendant, you can make your opening statement now.
Bishounen: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
NoV: (elbows him) Wake up!!
Bishounen: Huh?? What?? Oh, forgive my poor grammar. (looks around) Oh, right. Opening statements. Gomen. (drowsily walks to the front of the court) Good evening, afternoon, or whatnot. I represent NoV, and I think she's gonna win, so there! :P
NoV: (slams head on desk) I'm going to get sued for tickling. Join us next time.
**
Cutie Corner
NoV: (still tickling Xelloss) Welcome to part 2!
Xelloss: (periodically laughing) Hello. (looks defeated) Will you stop now?
NoV: Oh-kay. I'm starting to get tired, anyway. (gets up, and extends a hand to help Xelloss up)
Xelloss: No need! (teleports into an upright position) Ow.. (lifts up his shirt slightly) You bruised my ribs!!! I didn't think it was possible, but you did!
NoV: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Xelloss: I'm gonna sue you! Phibby, be my lawyer.
Phibby: Kay!
NoV: Oh-kay, anyway, I was thinking of doing an extremely dramatic fic as soon as I'm through with this one. We should have a voting session about it pretty soon, so stay tuned!
Xelloss: I'm suing you in the intermission!!!!
**
Everyone's mouth hung open as they stared at Gourry.
"Brilliant, eh?" Gourry asked, smiling brightly.
Lina started laughing, wildly. "You want to be the butter guy?" she asked. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life! You're crazy!"
"But, I thought it was a good idea." Gourry pouted.
"It is a good idea, Mr. Gourry," Amelia said, encouragingly. "As soon as you grow up, you can make all of your dreams and fantasies come true! Why, Justice is all you need, to-MMPH!!"
Xelloss covered her mouth from behind her. "Please don't talk like that."
"But, it's my plan, and I wanna do it!!!" Gourry whined, stomping his foot.
"Please, Gourry," Lina said, dryly, recovering from her laughing spell, "they'd never hire you. You have to actually have some kind of intelligence to be in a commercial."
"Actually, Lina-" Xelloss began to interrupt, but stopped when Lina glared at him.
"But I am intellimelent!!!!" Gourry protested.
"You're not doing it and that's final!!" Lina roared, domineeringly.
"But I wanna do it and you can't stop me!!!" the blond cried, running out of the building, covering his face with his hands, as if crying. He ran into a wall, not being able to navigate with his eyes closed. "Ow." He moved his hands, shook his finger at the wall, and redirected himself out the door.
"Mr. Gourry, wait!!" Amelia shouted after him. She slumped in her position. "We should have stopped him." She turned viciously to Lina. "And you should have been more supportive of him, Miss Lina! You crushed his dream, and broke his poor, lil Goo-heart, and now he's run away, and we might never ever see him again!!!
"Scuse me!" Gourry called from the doorway, smiling, cheerily. "Do you know where Butter Studios is?"
"It's right nextdoor to the inn," Xelloss told him. "Weren't you paying attention to the commercial?"
"Oh yeah! Thanks!" With that, the swordsman ran out of the room again.
"I say we go to that studio with Mr. Gourry and be supportive like good friends should!" Amelia decided, placing a fist high in the air.
Zelgadis, having been silent for the entire conversation, spoke up. "I agree," he said, simply.
"I wanna go eat butter!!!!" Xelloss suddenly shrieked. Everyone stared at him. He smiled sheepishly. "Actually, I just wanna rub it all over my body."
Lina looked sickened. "Let's just go."
**
Gourry stood in line to try out for the commercial. There were a lot of men, but even more women, with long, blond hair standing there, hopefully waiting.
The swordsman teetered back and forth on his heels, whistling to himself.
Gradually, the line moved, inch by inch every hour or so.
Gourry had begun to converse with some of the other people in line.
"So, there I was, face-to-face with a giant bowl of gelatin, unarmed, and wounded," he exaggerated, making strange motions with his hands. "The gelatin rushed at me, so I grabbed the only thing close-by: a spoon. And, then I ate it! And it was good."
The three other blonds stared at him, incredulously. "Wow," one commented.
"Isn't it?" Gourry asked, eyes big.
**
Phibby's Prosecution:
NoV: I can't believe you're actually suing me for bruising your ribs while tickling you.
Xelloss: Technically, I'm suing your for child abuse.
NoV: What? How are you going to manage that? What's your defense?
Xelloss: You're a child and you abused me.
NoV: -.-0 You're WEIRD!!!
Xelloss: Thank-you. BTW, just who are you getting to defend you?
NoV: Bishy-chan, of course!
Xelloss: Isn't that a little..um..sad?
NoV: Well PHIBBY sent Zelgadis to Hawaii, where he is probably miserable.
**
Zelgadis: CONGA LINE!!! (Dances)
**
Xelloss: Isn't Bishy still in the closet though?
NoV: Bishounen! Come out of the closet!! (receives oblivious stares) What???
Bishounen; (looks drowsy, stepping out of the closet) Goo-morning!
Xelloss: You could get Goo-chan to be your lawyer!
NoV: -.- No. Bishy's better. Plus Gourry's busy rehearsing for the next part of the ficcie.
Gourry: Butter, I am the butter, I see the butter, butter, butter, butter.
NoV: See?
Xelloss: (sigh) Fine. But you're gonna lose the trial.
NoV: See you during the after-ficcie Cutie Corner/Phibby's Prosecution!
**
After hours of endless toil and waiting, Gourry's turn had come. He was directed to a little stage with a microphone and a girl, who was really a mannequin.
He couldn't see because of all the bright lights in his face, but he heard the director.
It was Milgasia. Standing beside the dragon were Lina, Xelloss, Zelgadis, and Amelia. Milgasia constantly inched away from Xelloss, having developed a phobia of him even since the 'Oh Dragonfly, Dragonfly' incident.
"Lights," Milgasia said, emotionlessly. A barrage of even brighter lights shined on Gourry. "Camera." The camera switch was flicked on. "Say it," he told Gourry.
"Say the butter thing?" Gourry questioned.
"Yes. The butter thing."
"Oh-kay!" The blond cleared his throat, ceremoniously. "I absolutely, positively, 100% and oh-so-certainly, to the square root of 543, just can't conceive in my tiny mind that it's-not butter." He took a bow.
"Good," Milgasia said, again with no excitement. "You win."
"I did??" Gourry squeaked. "Yay! My dream has come true!!!"
"Not you," the dragon grumbled, shaking his head. "Suzie the dummy."
Gourry looked at the mannequin. He sadly shook its hand. "Congratulations, Suzie," he said, morosely.
"Just kidding," Milgasia told him, in his usual manner.
Lina bonked him on the head. "You know that REALLY irritates me."
"Keep dragonfly-boy away from me, and I tell no more jokes."
"You've got yourself a deal."
Gourry sniffled, leaving the arena. "I hope Suzie likes being the butter man."
"Mr. Gourry!" Amelia cried. "You've won!!"
"I have??" the swordsman asked, confused. "I thought Suzie the dummy won."
"No, no, silly Mr. Gourry," the oujo said, laughing. "Mr. Milgasia was only joking!"
Gourry gasped. "Really? Yay!!! I won! I WON!!!" He began to dance around on the stage, grabbing the mannequin for a partner. "I won, Suzie, I won!! I- Eee. Suzie, you smell like freeze-dried cow manure." He glanced around to see if anyone was looking and kicked her through a trap door. He walked away, humming.
**
Phibby's Prosecution:
Amelia: All arise for his Mr. Honorable, the Judge of this courtroom!
Rezo walks in
Amelia: You may take your seats! (strides to the jury box)
Rezo: Prosecution, you can make your opening statement.
Phibby: (skips to the front of the courtroom) Ladies and men, take one, Xelloss Metallium, tragic injury, and Nova-chan. These three simple beings had no idea that they were about to be hurled into..the Twilight Zone.
Minna: (groan)
Phibby: Just kidding! Just wanted everyone to know that I'm gonna win!! ^.^ (skips back to his chair and makes faces at Nova-chan)
Rezo: Defendant, you can make your opening statement now.
Bishounen: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
NoV: (elbows him) Wake up!!
Bishounen: Huh?? What?? Oh, forgive my poor grammar. (looks around) Oh, right. Opening statements. Gomen. (drowsily walks to the front of the court) Good evening, afternoon, or whatnot. I represent NoV, and I think she's gonna win, so there! :P
NoV: (slams head on desk) I'm going to get sued for tickling. Join us next time.