I Can't Believe It's NOT Butter! Part 4
**
Phibby's Prosecution:
NoV: Welcome back.
Bishounen: What's the square root of 3120009009??
Xelloss: I do not know.
Bishounen: A-HA! Of course, you don't.
Xelloss: -.-0
Bishounen: Your honorary, I rest my case. (sits down)
Rezo: Oh-kay, Xelloss, sit back down.
Xelloss: Kay! (sits)
Rezo: Prosecutor, you may call your next witness.
Phibby: I'd be glad to! Nova-chan! Come on down!
NoV: (grumbles)
Gaav: (holds up holy manga) Do you?
NoV: Yes.
Gaav: Sit.
NoV: Kay. (sits at the witness chair)
Phibby: So, NoV, if that's your REAL name, what do you have to say for yourself?
NoV: I bruised him!!! OH-KAY?? HE CAN GO TO THE ASTRAL PLANE AND HEAL HIMSELF IN THREE SECONDS!!!!
Phibby: A confession of guilt! We have our tickler.
Rezo: Hmm..good point.
NoV: Grrrr...YOU ALREADY KNEW I WAS GUILTY!!! The thing is it's not a crime!
Xelloss: Objection! Child abuse is a major offense!
Rezo: Another great point.
NoV: But, I-
Amelia: Your Honor, we, the Justice jury find the defendant guilty as charge!
Rezo: As the judge of this court, I sentence you to the same crime you committed.
NoV: (raises an eyebrow) You're going to tickle me.
Rezo: Oh, of course I'm not.
Xelloss: I am! (tackles NoV)
NoV: (laughs insanely) Stop, stop!!!
**
"Lights, camera, action," Milgasia said, flatly.
"I just can't believe this stuff that looks like butter isn't," Gourry said, holding it up. He then smooched the mannequin and bowed. "You people are beautiful, thank-you."
"That was great, Mr. Gourry!" Amelia cried.
"Of course it was, you simpleton," Gourry replied, flipping his hair and walking away.
"WELL!" the oujo exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest.
Back in the closet..
Xelloss sighed. "I wonder if they'll ever find me.." he wondered. He leaned back and bumped his head, making a clanging sound. "Ouch! What is that?" He felt the object he had hit. It was a long-necked cylindrical bottle with liquid inside. The mazoku gasped. "I'm in a wine cellar!!!"
Outside the closet..
"Mr. Gourry is a rude ego-maniac, and I don't know what to do!" Amelia wailed. "Mr. Zelgadis, I can't take it anymore. I'm going to find Miss Lina." She hugged the chimeric swordsman and ran out the door.
Zelgadis sighed. "Maybe after this stupid commercial is over Gourry will be back to normal," he reasoned.
"Gourry, time to film the opening scene," Milgasia beckoned, emotionless.
Gourry reentered the room. "Hello, mortals. Good to see you."
"Mortals?" Zelgadis echoed.
"Now, this time," Milgasia began, "I want you to run up the 'beach' scene, rescue the drowning ferret, save the beach-goers from nuclear destruction, and then run up to the butter. Got it?"
"You know it," the blond responded, pointing a finger casually at the dragon director.
He hopped up on stage that was decorated as a beach.
"Oh, coffee-guy," Gourry said, incidentally, "I'd like some iced tea."
"Coffee guy??" Zelgadis sputtered. "Forget it!" He threw his camera-guy's hat on the floor. "Either give up your commercial or your friends." The chimera walked out the door, and slammed it behind him.
Milgasia began to leave, as well. "I need a break," he said, passively.
Gourry looked up at the spotlights. "I..I think I feel a song coming on.." He took a deep breath, about to sing, when he suddenly heard another song from the closet.
"One hundred-ninety-nine thousand-five-hundred-sixty-bazillion bottles of sake on the wall," a voice sang, out of tune.
Gourry walked over to the wine closet. "Xelloss?" he asked, upon opening it.
"Hiya butter-man."
"You're absolutely right!!" the blond cried. "I have to go apologize to my friends right away!"
"Expracticlee," the priest slurred.
**
Amelia, Zelgadis, and Lina sat in a tavern across the street from the inn and Butter Studios, either eating or drinking coffee.
"I'm gonna eat until I feel better!" Lina yelled. "So, you'd better have tons of food in that kitchen!!"
The waitress looked nervously at the pile of food disappearing in front of Lina.
"Um...yes, ma'am."
"Do you think Mr. Gourry is gone forever?" Amelia asked, with a sniffle.
"Of course not!!" a happy clamor shrieked from the doorway.
Three heads snapped around to see what it was.
"Gourry!" Lina shouted, jumping up and huggling him. Suddenly, she was brought back to her senses and whapped him into the floor. "What do you think you're doing?? Who said you could touch me??" she demanded.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry," he said, shyly. "I brought you all a present." From behind his back, Gourry handed them all a tub of butter. "To no more commercials! A toast!"
"A toast!" Amelia agreed.
"A toast!" Lina cried, holding up her butter.
"Oh-kay, a toast," Zelgadis grumbled.
Back in Butter Studios...
"I love sake.."
**
Cutie Corner:
NoV: I'm glad that stupid trial is finally over.
Phibby: It was kinda fun.
Xelloss: Yeah. I won! Where's Bishounen?
NoV: He's in the closet.
Xelloss: There's no sake in there, right?
NoV: Do you think I'm THAT much of an idiot?
Xelloss: Just making sure.
NoV: Well, this is the last story I'll be doing for a while, since I'm gonna be working on "Romeo and Juliet" for a long time.
Xelloss: That should be veeeeery interesting.
NoV: Til next time!
**
Phibby's Prosecution:
NoV: Welcome back.
Bishounen: What's the square root of 3120009009??
Xelloss: I do not know.
Bishounen: A-HA! Of course, you don't.
Xelloss: -.-0
Bishounen: Your honorary, I rest my case. (sits down)
Rezo: Oh-kay, Xelloss, sit back down.
Xelloss: Kay! (sits)
Rezo: Prosecutor, you may call your next witness.
Phibby: I'd be glad to! Nova-chan! Come on down!
NoV: (grumbles)
Gaav: (holds up holy manga) Do you?
NoV: Yes.
Gaav: Sit.
NoV: Kay. (sits at the witness chair)
Phibby: So, NoV, if that's your REAL name, what do you have to say for yourself?
NoV: I bruised him!!! OH-KAY?? HE CAN GO TO THE ASTRAL PLANE AND HEAL HIMSELF IN THREE SECONDS!!!!
Phibby: A confession of guilt! We have our tickler.
Rezo: Hmm..good point.
NoV: Grrrr...YOU ALREADY KNEW I WAS GUILTY!!! The thing is it's not a crime!
Xelloss: Objection! Child abuse is a major offense!
Rezo: Another great point.
NoV: But, I-
Amelia: Your Honor, we, the Justice jury find the defendant guilty as charge!
Rezo: As the judge of this court, I sentence you to the same crime you committed.
NoV: (raises an eyebrow) You're going to tickle me.
Rezo: Oh, of course I'm not.
Xelloss: I am! (tackles NoV)
NoV: (laughs insanely) Stop, stop!!!
**
"Lights, camera, action," Milgasia said, flatly.
"I just can't believe this stuff that looks like butter isn't," Gourry said, holding it up. He then smooched the mannequin and bowed. "You people are beautiful, thank-you."
"That was great, Mr. Gourry!" Amelia cried.
"Of course it was, you simpleton," Gourry replied, flipping his hair and walking away.
"WELL!" the oujo exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest.
Back in the closet..
Xelloss sighed. "I wonder if they'll ever find me.." he wondered. He leaned back and bumped his head, making a clanging sound. "Ouch! What is that?" He felt the object he had hit. It was a long-necked cylindrical bottle with liquid inside. The mazoku gasped. "I'm in a wine cellar!!!"
Outside the closet..
"Mr. Gourry is a rude ego-maniac, and I don't know what to do!" Amelia wailed. "Mr. Zelgadis, I can't take it anymore. I'm going to find Miss Lina." She hugged the chimeric swordsman and ran out the door.
Zelgadis sighed. "Maybe after this stupid commercial is over Gourry will be back to normal," he reasoned.
"Gourry, time to film the opening scene," Milgasia beckoned, emotionless.
Gourry reentered the room. "Hello, mortals. Good to see you."
"Mortals?" Zelgadis echoed.
"Now, this time," Milgasia began, "I want you to run up the 'beach' scene, rescue the drowning ferret, save the beach-goers from nuclear destruction, and then run up to the butter. Got it?"
"You know it," the blond responded, pointing a finger casually at the dragon director.
He hopped up on stage that was decorated as a beach.
"Oh, coffee-guy," Gourry said, incidentally, "I'd like some iced tea."
"Coffee guy??" Zelgadis sputtered. "Forget it!" He threw his camera-guy's hat on the floor. "Either give up your commercial or your friends." The chimera walked out the door, and slammed it behind him.
Milgasia began to leave, as well. "I need a break," he said, passively.
Gourry looked up at the spotlights. "I..I think I feel a song coming on.." He took a deep breath, about to sing, when he suddenly heard another song from the closet.
"One hundred-ninety-nine thousand-five-hundred-sixty-bazillion bottles of sake on the wall," a voice sang, out of tune.
Gourry walked over to the wine closet. "Xelloss?" he asked, upon opening it.
"Hiya butter-man."
"You're absolutely right!!" the blond cried. "I have to go apologize to my friends right away!"
"Expracticlee," the priest slurred.
**
Amelia, Zelgadis, and Lina sat in a tavern across the street from the inn and Butter Studios, either eating or drinking coffee.
"I'm gonna eat until I feel better!" Lina yelled. "So, you'd better have tons of food in that kitchen!!"
The waitress looked nervously at the pile of food disappearing in front of Lina.
"Um...yes, ma'am."
"Do you think Mr. Gourry is gone forever?" Amelia asked, with a sniffle.
"Of course not!!" a happy clamor shrieked from the doorway.
Three heads snapped around to see what it was.
"Gourry!" Lina shouted, jumping up and huggling him. Suddenly, she was brought back to her senses and whapped him into the floor. "What do you think you're doing?? Who said you could touch me??" she demanded.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry," he said, shyly. "I brought you all a present." From behind his back, Gourry handed them all a tub of butter. "To no more commercials! A toast!"
"A toast!" Amelia agreed.
"A toast!" Lina cried, holding up her butter.
"Oh-kay, a toast," Zelgadis grumbled.
Back in Butter Studios...
"I love sake.."
**
Cutie Corner:
NoV: I'm glad that stupid trial is finally over.
Phibby: It was kinda fun.
Xelloss: Yeah. I won! Where's Bishounen?
NoV: He's in the closet.
Xelloss: There's no sake in there, right?
NoV: Do you think I'm THAT much of an idiot?
Xelloss: Just making sure.
NoV: Well, this is the last story I'll be doing for a while, since I'm gonna be working on "Romeo and Juliet" for a long time.
Xelloss: That should be veeeeery interesting.
NoV: Til next time!