Duty
CHAPTER FIFETEEN
The sunlight shone in her eyes as she made her way over to the office that belonged to Giles, she needed answers. Buffy had tossed and turned all night images of the new Spike playing on her mind.
They way he spoke the words he used, it was clear to see the change. Gone was the romantic side that could shine through, all that was left was the smart arse cocky side.
Buffy saw Giles sat at his desk scribbling into a little notebook, Buffy already knew what he'd say. 'Sacred duty to kill ALL vampires etc. etc.' But she needed to hear it.
With a tear in her eye she went and sat on the corner of the desk.
"Good morning Buffy, how was patrol last night?" He asked, he sounded like he cared. Over the last few days he had let the first impression disappear, seeing what a truly extraordinary young woman she was.
"It was slow, only a couple of dustings."
"Good." He went to continue but Buffy cut him off.
"Spike's a vampire."
Buffy didn't raise her eyes to see Giles, she couldn't. He looked at her, studying the pain and love in her eyes, he knew what he could do but really he should let it be.
"Well as you know Buffy it is your duty to...."
"I know my duty to protect the innocent, blah, blah, blah, but Spike was innocent and I didn't protect him. I came here so that you could make me dust him." She was sobbing now.
It wasn't the cry of a spoiled little girl or a cry of pain. It was a cry of desperation, for the pain to stop for someone to explain and tell her what to do.
"Buffy he is a danger and no longer your Spike." Giles explained.
"But he is, his personality is still there. His stupid smirk and smart arse remarks how can I kill him?"
She really wanted to know the answer, the easy way to kill the only person you've ever really loved. To see the look of shock and pain as the wooden stake penetrates the heart, to see the outline of that person turn to dust and explode into ashes around the body they once made love to.
Giles saw the pain fresh again in her face, "You may not have to Buffy. If he leaves then you do not have to do it. But I do have to say that I don't think he will leave you alone."
"I do have to dust him, as you say my sacred job. He's an evil disgusting monster and how could I be in love with him?"
Buffy got up from her position on the table and looked at Giles, she had answered her own question, she had to.
Giles considered his options, the council would be extremely vexed if he went ahead. But to see this girl in this much pain he felt he had no choice.
"Buffy do you love him, even as vampire?" Giles asked taking a cup of tea to his lips.
"Yeah with all the love I've got." She answered.
"Then I suggest you try your best not to stake him."
Buffy smiled and headed for the door. Giles was already thinking his plan threw in his head, he had everything he needed, and it would not do any harm. If he didn't do his Slayer wouldn't make it to a year.
He gathered the supplies.
~*~
Spike sat in his room with a cigarette hanging from his lips wearing only a pair of black jeans. He was thinking about the events of the previous night. Seeing Buffy had given a whole knew urgency and importance to his mission.
Other vampires when they woke thought of nothing but the first kill, spike hadn't the blood had been his second thought. When he had got back to his dorm room his textbook on vampires explained to him why.
If a person is in a perfect state of love when they are turned they will be different from other vampires, they will keep more of there old personality, be a bit less demon. It didn't mean that they were any less evil, in fact sometimes it made them more evil than your standard vamp. But it meant the capacity to be good was there.
Just as Spike reached over for the bottle of Jack Daniels he had bought an overwhelming feeling came over him. A searing pain filled his body and a bright orange-ish light filled the room.
Spike collapsed on to the bed. Decisions
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
TWO MONTHS LATER
Buffy hadn't seen Spike since the night she found out he was a vampire, and the feeling of loss still wouldn't shift.
It was so hard she had to deal with her university classes and slaying, all the time thinking about her lost love. Spike who'd she'd only known a few days, but missed like the ground missed the rain in a drought.
She had told Willow that Spike had dropped out of uni and she hadn't heard from him since, she couldn't share the pain with the girl who had become her best friend. She had Dawn a couple of times but that didn't help.
Dawn didn't know what had happened, all she knew was her beloved brother had gone missing and she blamed Buffy for that. Dawn had punched Buffy in a bar only a week ago. Yes things were hard.
Giles couldn't stop the pain, he knew about it which was more than anymore else but his first propriety was to make sure Buffy fulfilled her slaying duties.
Buffy didn't really go out much, so a Saturday night like tonight wasn't unusual. Buffy was sat on her bed watching TV, but she had to go out, time to slay. She stood up and grabbed the leather duster and pulled it round her. The coat had become the one thing in the world that made her feel safe.
The smell of Spike wrapped round her, just like it had been that morning after their night of passion. The night when they had fallen so hopelessly in love, a complete love.
Time to slay.
~*~
Spike stood in the shadows outside the building that Buffy called home, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He had come back, he knew about himself know, he knew that he could control himself.
A demon he had met in a bar the night after he left had told him that his soul had been restored, that made it easier on him. The demon had told him a tale of another souled vampire a vicious master vampire called Angel who was cursed to know the pain of killing a million people.
Spike didn't have that guilt, he hadn't had the chance to kill, so his soul was not a curse, it was more a blessing. A way to make Buffy trust him. He controlled his demon well, it did rise and Spike let it but he never killed.
On thought played on his mind, would Buffy still want him? Souled or not, controlled or not he was still a vampire. Not quite the old Spike that had fallen in love with Buffy.
Then he saw her, walking down that steps from her dorm out into the cold winter night. He looked at her closely and saw that she was wearing his duster, it made a smile play on his lips for the first time since his change, she still cared.
Spike moved back into the shadows, it wasn't time just yet. This had to be perfect, he had to show her.
"And she better not think she's bloody keeping me coat." He muttered to himself a he flicked the cigarette away and moved to follow her.
~*~
Buffy walked round the campus, another quite night. She wondered if vampires went home for Christmas or something, she wouldn't be going home and they didn't even have Thanksgiving here.
Then she felt it, the feeling of tickling on the back of her neck. Her alarm system was telling her that a vamp was near by.
"At last some action." She said to herself.
Spike had to hold back his laughter, 'if it's action she wants' he thought to himself.
Before she could assess the situation a vampire had jumped out and was stood behind her, she twisted round to see the attacker. He was too quick by the time she was round he had moved out of sight.
'This guy is good' she thought still not able to land a blow, it was fun though a challenger that tested her skill.
To much time thinking put her at a disadvantage, before Buffy could do anything she was thrown to the ground. The weight of the attacker now on her, she still couldn't see him, but the smell was slightly familiar. Her head was thrown to the side to expose her neck, she knew what was coming.
Closing her eyes tightly she tried to block out the felling of the fangs penetrating her skin, but they never came. All Buffy felt was soft loving kisses being planted on her neck.
Her eyes shot open in shock.
She found a pair of deep blue eyes full of love shining down on her.
"Spike." She screamed out, he'd come back to her.
But then she realized what this situation was, it maybe Spike, but still a vampire had her pinned down. She pushed up on to his body and rolled his so that she was on top of him.
"Calm down pet." Spike said softly.
"Calm down you've just attacked me." As she said it she saw the pain in Spike's eyes, she didn't understand he thought or she doesn't care.
"I wanted to show you."
"Show me what?" Buffy asked a little confused.
"That I could kill you, but that will never happen all I'll ever do is kiss you." He explained hoping that Buffy would see the truth in his words.
Buffy looked at him for a moment, she felt that it was true, but she was unsure of herself. This is what she'd dreamt of for the past two months. Did she just believe it because she wanted to?
Spike could see the thought going on inside her head, he knew he had to leave, if he was with her it would effect her decision. He pushed her body from him and stood. He took on look at her and started to walk off.
Buffy panicked, he was leaving. She couldn't handle it again.
"Where are you going?" She shouted, worry filling her words.
"Don't worry pet, just taking a little break let you have a think. I'll come back and soon this time. Don't want my sexy body effecting your decision love."
Buffy wanted to run after him, stop him, make him kiss her, but she couldn't her feet stayed rooted. He was right she had to think this through.
Spike carried on walking, he'd go back soon and she could either love him or stake him. Either way he'd be happier than he was now. TBC.
The sunlight shone in her eyes as she made her way over to the office that belonged to Giles, she needed answers. Buffy had tossed and turned all night images of the new Spike playing on her mind.
They way he spoke the words he used, it was clear to see the change. Gone was the romantic side that could shine through, all that was left was the smart arse cocky side.
Buffy saw Giles sat at his desk scribbling into a little notebook, Buffy already knew what he'd say. 'Sacred duty to kill ALL vampires etc. etc.' But she needed to hear it.
With a tear in her eye she went and sat on the corner of the desk.
"Good morning Buffy, how was patrol last night?" He asked, he sounded like he cared. Over the last few days he had let the first impression disappear, seeing what a truly extraordinary young woman she was.
"It was slow, only a couple of dustings."
"Good." He went to continue but Buffy cut him off.
"Spike's a vampire."
Buffy didn't raise her eyes to see Giles, she couldn't. He looked at her, studying the pain and love in her eyes, he knew what he could do but really he should let it be.
"Well as you know Buffy it is your duty to...."
"I know my duty to protect the innocent, blah, blah, blah, but Spike was innocent and I didn't protect him. I came here so that you could make me dust him." She was sobbing now.
It wasn't the cry of a spoiled little girl or a cry of pain. It was a cry of desperation, for the pain to stop for someone to explain and tell her what to do.
"Buffy he is a danger and no longer your Spike." Giles explained.
"But he is, his personality is still there. His stupid smirk and smart arse remarks how can I kill him?"
She really wanted to know the answer, the easy way to kill the only person you've ever really loved. To see the look of shock and pain as the wooden stake penetrates the heart, to see the outline of that person turn to dust and explode into ashes around the body they once made love to.
Giles saw the pain fresh again in her face, "You may not have to Buffy. If he leaves then you do not have to do it. But I do have to say that I don't think he will leave you alone."
"I do have to dust him, as you say my sacred job. He's an evil disgusting monster and how could I be in love with him?"
Buffy got up from her position on the table and looked at Giles, she had answered her own question, she had to.
Giles considered his options, the council would be extremely vexed if he went ahead. But to see this girl in this much pain he felt he had no choice.
"Buffy do you love him, even as vampire?" Giles asked taking a cup of tea to his lips.
"Yeah with all the love I've got." She answered.
"Then I suggest you try your best not to stake him."
Buffy smiled and headed for the door. Giles was already thinking his plan threw in his head, he had everything he needed, and it would not do any harm. If he didn't do his Slayer wouldn't make it to a year.
He gathered the supplies.
~*~
Spike sat in his room with a cigarette hanging from his lips wearing only a pair of black jeans. He was thinking about the events of the previous night. Seeing Buffy had given a whole knew urgency and importance to his mission.
Other vampires when they woke thought of nothing but the first kill, spike hadn't the blood had been his second thought. When he had got back to his dorm room his textbook on vampires explained to him why.
If a person is in a perfect state of love when they are turned they will be different from other vampires, they will keep more of there old personality, be a bit less demon. It didn't mean that they were any less evil, in fact sometimes it made them more evil than your standard vamp. But it meant the capacity to be good was there.
Just as Spike reached over for the bottle of Jack Daniels he had bought an overwhelming feeling came over him. A searing pain filled his body and a bright orange-ish light filled the room.
Spike collapsed on to the bed. Decisions
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
TWO MONTHS LATER
Buffy hadn't seen Spike since the night she found out he was a vampire, and the feeling of loss still wouldn't shift.
It was so hard she had to deal with her university classes and slaying, all the time thinking about her lost love. Spike who'd she'd only known a few days, but missed like the ground missed the rain in a drought.
She had told Willow that Spike had dropped out of uni and she hadn't heard from him since, she couldn't share the pain with the girl who had become her best friend. She had Dawn a couple of times but that didn't help.
Dawn didn't know what had happened, all she knew was her beloved brother had gone missing and she blamed Buffy for that. Dawn had punched Buffy in a bar only a week ago. Yes things were hard.
Giles couldn't stop the pain, he knew about it which was more than anymore else but his first propriety was to make sure Buffy fulfilled her slaying duties.
Buffy didn't really go out much, so a Saturday night like tonight wasn't unusual. Buffy was sat on her bed watching TV, but she had to go out, time to slay. She stood up and grabbed the leather duster and pulled it round her. The coat had become the one thing in the world that made her feel safe.
The smell of Spike wrapped round her, just like it had been that morning after their night of passion. The night when they had fallen so hopelessly in love, a complete love.
Time to slay.
~*~
Spike stood in the shadows outside the building that Buffy called home, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He had come back, he knew about himself know, he knew that he could control himself.
A demon he had met in a bar the night after he left had told him that his soul had been restored, that made it easier on him. The demon had told him a tale of another souled vampire a vicious master vampire called Angel who was cursed to know the pain of killing a million people.
Spike didn't have that guilt, he hadn't had the chance to kill, so his soul was not a curse, it was more a blessing. A way to make Buffy trust him. He controlled his demon well, it did rise and Spike let it but he never killed.
On thought played on his mind, would Buffy still want him? Souled or not, controlled or not he was still a vampire. Not quite the old Spike that had fallen in love with Buffy.
Then he saw her, walking down that steps from her dorm out into the cold winter night. He looked at her closely and saw that she was wearing his duster, it made a smile play on his lips for the first time since his change, she still cared.
Spike moved back into the shadows, it wasn't time just yet. This had to be perfect, he had to show her.
"And she better not think she's bloody keeping me coat." He muttered to himself a he flicked the cigarette away and moved to follow her.
~*~
Buffy walked round the campus, another quite night. She wondered if vampires went home for Christmas or something, she wouldn't be going home and they didn't even have Thanksgiving here.
Then she felt it, the feeling of tickling on the back of her neck. Her alarm system was telling her that a vamp was near by.
"At last some action." She said to herself.
Spike had to hold back his laughter, 'if it's action she wants' he thought to himself.
Before she could assess the situation a vampire had jumped out and was stood behind her, she twisted round to see the attacker. He was too quick by the time she was round he had moved out of sight.
'This guy is good' she thought still not able to land a blow, it was fun though a challenger that tested her skill.
To much time thinking put her at a disadvantage, before Buffy could do anything she was thrown to the ground. The weight of the attacker now on her, she still couldn't see him, but the smell was slightly familiar. Her head was thrown to the side to expose her neck, she knew what was coming.
Closing her eyes tightly she tried to block out the felling of the fangs penetrating her skin, but they never came. All Buffy felt was soft loving kisses being planted on her neck.
Her eyes shot open in shock.
She found a pair of deep blue eyes full of love shining down on her.
"Spike." She screamed out, he'd come back to her.
But then she realized what this situation was, it maybe Spike, but still a vampire had her pinned down. She pushed up on to his body and rolled his so that she was on top of him.
"Calm down pet." Spike said softly.
"Calm down you've just attacked me." As she said it she saw the pain in Spike's eyes, she didn't understand he thought or she doesn't care.
"I wanted to show you."
"Show me what?" Buffy asked a little confused.
"That I could kill you, but that will never happen all I'll ever do is kiss you." He explained hoping that Buffy would see the truth in his words.
Buffy looked at him for a moment, she felt that it was true, but she was unsure of herself. This is what she'd dreamt of for the past two months. Did she just believe it because she wanted to?
Spike could see the thought going on inside her head, he knew he had to leave, if he was with her it would effect her decision. He pushed her body from him and stood. He took on look at her and started to walk off.
Buffy panicked, he was leaving. She couldn't handle it again.
"Where are you going?" She shouted, worry filling her words.
"Don't worry pet, just taking a little break let you have a think. I'll come back and soon this time. Don't want my sexy body effecting your decision love."
Buffy wanted to run after him, stop him, make him kiss her, but she couldn't her feet stayed rooted. He was right she had to think this through.
Spike carried on walking, he'd go back soon and she could either love him or stake him. Either way he'd be happier than he was now. TBC.