Hyrule: Caught On Camera!
A Fanfic by Sheik
Disclaimer: See Chapter One
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1 Day Four: Gandola's
¤ As the camera turns on, we see Link in his house. Or rather, we see Link's LEGS. Apparently he was trying to tape himself getting ready for his big date (The camera crew let him borrow one of their cameras). He is wearing a white dress shirt with the top two buttons undone, and a green blazer. He has khaki slacks and his green hat (of course: why wouldn't he have the hat?). ¤
Link: (Singing) I'm going on a da-ate!
¤ Link takes off his hat, slicks tons of gel on his hair, and puts his hat back on again. ¤
Link: This is awesome! I can't believe she asked me out!
¤ Link continues putzing around in his house, doing this and that, while every now and then putting yet more heir gel on. ¤
Link: La de da…..Hum hum hum. This is gonna be great!
¤ Navi enters, wearing a huge pink bow on top of her…..ah…..glowing ball of light. ¤
Navi: Well, Link? How do I look? Am I pretty enough to meet your girlfriend?
Link: Navi, I TOLD you: You're going over to the Twins' tonight!
Navi: Aaaaaaaawwwwww…….I hate that place! All they ever do with me is play "Butterfly Catchers"! And they can't use their imaginations: they draw on my wings! Do you know how long it takes to get magic marker out of these?
Link: You win. You don't have to go to the Twins' house.
Navi: YAY! You're the best, Link!
Link: I'll go see if Mido will watch you.
Navi: AACK! NOT MIDO! ANYONE BUT HIM!
Link: Okay, then go to the Twins'. It's either them or Mido. Take your pick.
Navi: ¤ Grumble, grumble ¤ Okay, okay! I'll go to the Twins'.
Female Voices: Oh, NAH-VEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Navi: Huh boy. Here we go! Bye, Link!
Link: Huh? Yeah, whatever. Have a good time.
Navi: Hmph! Some charge you are!
¤ Navi flies out of Link's house and can soon be heard screaming: "NOOO! NOT THE MARKERS!!!" ¤
Link: Phew! Good riddance to bad company. Uh oh! Looks like it's time to go!
¤ Link walks up to the camera and turns it off. At this point we see what Syrie is doing with the HCOC Official Contestant Video Camera: ¤
Syrie: Hello, Link! It's me, Syrie. I just wanted to tell you that no matter what happens tonight, I really like you, and I hope that we can be more than friends someday, and I hope you feel the same. See you tonight!
¤ The camera shuts off. Audience: Aaaaawwww….. Reader: What is this?! Romance in a humor fic? AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ¤
¤ Gandola's Deli, a quaint little sidewalk café/deli place. Inside there is a counter and some booths, and outside looks exactly like a French sidewalk café. There are lots of plants along a rail that protects the outside diners from the bustling crowd in Hyrule Castle Town Market. It is these plants that the professional camera crew has hidden behind in order to get some good footage of Link's date. ¤
¤ We see Link lounging against the grey stone wall of the Deli, right between the glass doors and the huge window that displays all kinds of appetizing deli foods. Ganondorf comes out (Ganondorf + Gondola? Get it? Hehehe…) wearing a crisp white shirt, khaki slacks, and a white deli apron. He begins talking to Link in pleasant Italian – Brooklyn mixed accents, which I will not even TRY to imitate: use your imagination. ¤
Ganondorf: What's with the long face, Link? Can I get you anything?
Link: Not yet. I'm waiting for somebody.
¤ Ganondorf laughs and nudges Link. ¤
Ganondorf: Well hey there, mister Romeo! If you want a table, you better hurry. With all those camera people there, the tables will fill up pretty fast.
Link: What!?
¤ Link walks over to the rail and looks over it to find…..nothing. The camera crew have disguised themselves as tourists with video cameras. ¤
Link: Hmmm…
Voice: Hey. Link!!!
Link: Huh?
Voice: Link! Sorry I'm late!
¤ Link looks up to see Syrie running towards him wearing a violet long- sleeved turtleneck sweater, a knee-length black skirt, and black high- heeled strappy sandal shoe things. His eyes go all goofy again. ¤
Link: Hhhiiiii……
Syrie: Hi, Link! Are you ready to eat? I'm starving!
Link: Huh? Oh, yeah! Let's get a table!
¤ We see various shots of the date: Syrie daintily munching a salad while Link wolfs down Gandola's Special: A foot-high club sandwich with everything imaginable on it: the worst thing for breath since garlic anchovy coffee bean pizza. Next, Link and Syrie are strolling through the mini-park in the center of the market (You always wondered what was in there, didn't you? Come on, admit it!) while feeding the ducks. Syrie holds some food out in her hand, and about five ducks come over and start eating out of it. Link follows suit, and ends up getting attacked. Finally, at the end of the date, Syrie has given Link back the camera, and the two have exchanged cell phone numbers, e-mail addresses, and HIM (Hyrule Instant Messenger) screen names: "FairyBoy663" and "TechnoChick321". Link goes to sweep his hat off as he tries to bow elegantly, when--- ¤
Link: AAUUUGGGHHH!!!! OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!
Syrie: What is it?
Link: My hat! It's stuck to my hair!
Syrie: Oh my goddesses! Can I do something to help?
Link: Stupid hair gel….Yeah, you can help pull this thing off!
¤ Syrie braces her foot against a potted plant, grabs Link's hat, and PULLS. ¤
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! NOT SO HARD!!!!!!
Syrie: Sorry, but it's the only way to get your hat off: unless you want me to CUT it off.
Link: NO! Not my beautiful golden-blond tresses! Not my lucky Ganon- whooping hat!
Syrie: Then I'll have to pull it.
Link: Erm…thanks anyway. I'll stick my head under the faucet when I get home.
Syrie: ¤ Giggles ¤ Okay, then. Bye, Link! Call me sometime, okay?
Link: Sure!
¤ Link leaves, and Syrie goes into her house: the end of the date took place on her front porch. ¤
A Fanfic by Sheik
Disclaimer: See Chapter One
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
1 Day Four: Gandola's
¤ As the camera turns on, we see Link in his house. Or rather, we see Link's LEGS. Apparently he was trying to tape himself getting ready for his big date (The camera crew let him borrow one of their cameras). He is wearing a white dress shirt with the top two buttons undone, and a green blazer. He has khaki slacks and his green hat (of course: why wouldn't he have the hat?). ¤
Link: (Singing) I'm going on a da-ate!
¤ Link takes off his hat, slicks tons of gel on his hair, and puts his hat back on again. ¤
Link: This is awesome! I can't believe she asked me out!
¤ Link continues putzing around in his house, doing this and that, while every now and then putting yet more heir gel on. ¤
Link: La de da…..Hum hum hum. This is gonna be great!
¤ Navi enters, wearing a huge pink bow on top of her…..ah…..glowing ball of light. ¤
Navi: Well, Link? How do I look? Am I pretty enough to meet your girlfriend?
Link: Navi, I TOLD you: You're going over to the Twins' tonight!
Navi: Aaaaaaaawwwwww…….I hate that place! All they ever do with me is play "Butterfly Catchers"! And they can't use their imaginations: they draw on my wings! Do you know how long it takes to get magic marker out of these?
Link: You win. You don't have to go to the Twins' house.
Navi: YAY! You're the best, Link!
Link: I'll go see if Mido will watch you.
Navi: AACK! NOT MIDO! ANYONE BUT HIM!
Link: Okay, then go to the Twins'. It's either them or Mido. Take your pick.
Navi: ¤ Grumble, grumble ¤ Okay, okay! I'll go to the Twins'.
Female Voices: Oh, NAH-VEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Navi: Huh boy. Here we go! Bye, Link!
Link: Huh? Yeah, whatever. Have a good time.
Navi: Hmph! Some charge you are!
¤ Navi flies out of Link's house and can soon be heard screaming: "NOOO! NOT THE MARKERS!!!" ¤
Link: Phew! Good riddance to bad company. Uh oh! Looks like it's time to go!
¤ Link walks up to the camera and turns it off. At this point we see what Syrie is doing with the HCOC Official Contestant Video Camera: ¤
Syrie: Hello, Link! It's me, Syrie. I just wanted to tell you that no matter what happens tonight, I really like you, and I hope that we can be more than friends someday, and I hope you feel the same. See you tonight!
¤ The camera shuts off. Audience: Aaaaawwww….. Reader: What is this?! Romance in a humor fic? AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ¤
¤ Gandola's Deli, a quaint little sidewalk café/deli place. Inside there is a counter and some booths, and outside looks exactly like a French sidewalk café. There are lots of plants along a rail that protects the outside diners from the bustling crowd in Hyrule Castle Town Market. It is these plants that the professional camera crew has hidden behind in order to get some good footage of Link's date. ¤
¤ We see Link lounging against the grey stone wall of the Deli, right between the glass doors and the huge window that displays all kinds of appetizing deli foods. Ganondorf comes out (Ganondorf + Gondola? Get it? Hehehe…) wearing a crisp white shirt, khaki slacks, and a white deli apron. He begins talking to Link in pleasant Italian – Brooklyn mixed accents, which I will not even TRY to imitate: use your imagination. ¤
Ganondorf: What's with the long face, Link? Can I get you anything?
Link: Not yet. I'm waiting for somebody.
¤ Ganondorf laughs and nudges Link. ¤
Ganondorf: Well hey there, mister Romeo! If you want a table, you better hurry. With all those camera people there, the tables will fill up pretty fast.
Link: What!?
¤ Link walks over to the rail and looks over it to find…..nothing. The camera crew have disguised themselves as tourists with video cameras. ¤
Link: Hmmm…
Voice: Hey. Link!!!
Link: Huh?
Voice: Link! Sorry I'm late!
¤ Link looks up to see Syrie running towards him wearing a violet long- sleeved turtleneck sweater, a knee-length black skirt, and black high- heeled strappy sandal shoe things. His eyes go all goofy again. ¤
Link: Hhhiiiii……
Syrie: Hi, Link! Are you ready to eat? I'm starving!
Link: Huh? Oh, yeah! Let's get a table!
¤ We see various shots of the date: Syrie daintily munching a salad while Link wolfs down Gandola's Special: A foot-high club sandwich with everything imaginable on it: the worst thing for breath since garlic anchovy coffee bean pizza. Next, Link and Syrie are strolling through the mini-park in the center of the market (You always wondered what was in there, didn't you? Come on, admit it!) while feeding the ducks. Syrie holds some food out in her hand, and about five ducks come over and start eating out of it. Link follows suit, and ends up getting attacked. Finally, at the end of the date, Syrie has given Link back the camera, and the two have exchanged cell phone numbers, e-mail addresses, and HIM (Hyrule Instant Messenger) screen names: "FairyBoy663" and "TechnoChick321". Link goes to sweep his hat off as he tries to bow elegantly, when--- ¤
Link: AAUUUGGGHHH!!!! OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!
Syrie: What is it?
Link: My hat! It's stuck to my hair!
Syrie: Oh my goddesses! Can I do something to help?
Link: Stupid hair gel….Yeah, you can help pull this thing off!
¤ Syrie braces her foot against a potted plant, grabs Link's hat, and PULLS. ¤
Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! NOT SO HARD!!!!!!
Syrie: Sorry, but it's the only way to get your hat off: unless you want me to CUT it off.
Link: NO! Not my beautiful golden-blond tresses! Not my lucky Ganon- whooping hat!
Syrie: Then I'll have to pull it.
Link: Erm…thanks anyway. I'll stick my head under the faucet when I get home.
Syrie: ¤ Giggles ¤ Okay, then. Bye, Link! Call me sometime, okay?
Link: Sure!
¤ Link leaves, and Syrie goes into her house: the end of the date took place on her front porch. ¤