Hyrule: Caught on Camera!
A Fanfic by Kaori-chan (formerly Sheik)
Not even gonna say it this time.
Ok, I'm SO SORRY to the people who actually read this fic! Well, I'm not dead, I'm just home sick with a lot of time on my hands. -_-' Anyways, here's the next chapter! Sorry again how long it took to update!
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¤ The camera zooms in over the audience onto Saria, who is standing on the set. The audience is applauding, and the fairy is fast asleep on the coffee table wearing miniature pink plastic hair curlers. ¤
Saria: Hello, and welcome back to Hyrule: Caught on Camera!, the hit TV show where Hyrule's most prominent citizens each get to express how they see Hyrule! Or, in some cases, what they do when a free video camera falls into their hands for a week. Anyways, today's film is by Ganondorf, who is currently separated from his evil form, Ganon, on parole. Enjoy!
¤ Saria pushes a button as the giant TV screen turns on and the lights turn off. The audience applauds for a moment and then watches the film. ¤
Day One: The Deli
¤ The camera fades in on a shot of a storefront window, presumably the window in Gandola's Deli. Several busy people are walking around outside. Once again, the date and time displays on the camera are messed up and now read in flashing, neon-pink letters:
SM 51, 675492 16:998 AF ¤
Ganondorf (Voice): Hello, and welcome to DeliCam!
¤ The camera shuts off. When it turns back on, we see somebody ordering food from the deli. We watch as they are served and walk out of the store. The camera shuts off, and does the same thing with various customers for some time. By the time this is over, day one has gone by and the camera is almost halfway out of tape. Much of the audience is now fast asleep. The interesting thing here is that the show is using the same tape over and over again for budget reasons, so in various spots you can still see some of Link's footage. ¤
Ganondorf: Here you are! Have a nice day!
Link: ---NEVER ATTACK ME WHEN I WANT YOU TO?!
Random customer: I'll take some---
Link: ---CHEEZ-E-PUFFS BAGS?!?!?
¤ The camera shuts off and from here on out, Ganondorf has fixed the editing problem and no more of Link's footage can be seen. ¤
Day Two
¤ Nighttime: Ganondorf is walking around taping various things in the Castle Town: various wild dogs, a few citizens out late, and some very tired-looking guards, including one who fell asleep at his post. ¤
Ganondorf: Hehehe...I saved all my tape for this moment! Hyrule's national security force in action! How can these people sleep at night if THIS guy does?!
¤ The camera shuts off. At this point there isn't much tape left, so Ganondorf has decided that the only way to beat Link is to use the rest of his tape for something even more entertaining than Link's Sacred Realm adventure. ¤
Day Five: Rocket Stones
¤ It's nighttime (again), and this time Ganondorf is standing by the Gossip stones by the Temple of Time. A row of bombs is lined up in front of them. ¤
Ganondorf: Now, if this works right...
¤ Fourth of July-Fireworks-type music plays as Ganondorf lights off the first bomb of the row. It causes a chain reaction and all the bombs follow suit. Following that is the Gossip stones beeping and flashing different colors. The camera follows them as they take off like little spaceships. ¤
(A/N: THIS REALLY WORKS! Not at the Temple of Time though, as you can't use bombs there. But TRY IT! It's funny!)
¤ The music continues playing as the camera shows various gossip stones blasting off: as some are underground or inside caves, they hit the "ceiling" and explode resulting in some kind of unconventional fireworks show. Finally, the music stops and the "fireworks" end. ¤
Day Seven: Ganon's Return
¤ Ganondorf, still desperate for something to tape, has somehow wandered into the Temple of time: BIG mistake. ¤
Ganondorf (Voice echoing in the vast expanse of the temple): Hmm.. Doesn't seem like there's much in here. HEL-LO! What have we here?
¤ Ganondorf notices some very key differences in the temple: the Door of Time is wide open, the Sacred Stones are in the altar, and the Master Sword is gone, allowing anybody who pleases to get into the Sacred Realm. ¤
Ganondorf: Let's get an interview with Rauru! He seems to want to be on TV a lot!
¤ Ganondorf steps up to the pedestal. The same blue light that surrounded Link and the camera last time surrounds Ganondorf and the camera. Now, you need to understand that from as far away as outside the Temple of Time, Ganondorf feels no desire to return to his former self due to the rules set by his probation officer. However, take one step inside those doors and Ganon is almost guaranteed to return. ¤
Ganondorf: Wheee! Up, up, and awaaaaaaaaaay!
¤ Ganondorf enters the Sacred Realm to be greeted by Rauru: and a very ANGRY Rauru at that. ¤
Rauru: I'm sorry, but I cannot allow you to come any fur---
Ganondorf: Out of my way, old man!
¤ Ganondorf shoves Rauru aside, grabs some bags of Cheez-E-Puffs, and leaves the Temple of Light. ¤
Ganondorf: MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!
¤ The camera shuts off. When it turns back on, we see that Ganondorf has set it on a pile of something and is now littering Cheez-E-Puffs all around the area. ¤
Ganondorf: Heh heh heh...this oughta do it! Now to wait..
¤ Several minutes go by as Ganondorf walks around impatiently. Finally, Ganon appears over the horizon and approaches Ganondorf (After consuming all the Cheez-E-Puffs) ¤
Ganondorf: Hello, my old friend...
Ok, I'm SO SORRY to the people who actually read this fic! Well, I'm not dead, I'm just home sick with a lot of time on my hands. -_-' Anyways, here's the next chapter! Sorry again how long it took to update!
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
¤ The camera zooms in over the audience onto Saria, who is standing on the set. The audience is applauding, and the fairy is fast asleep on the coffee table wearing miniature pink plastic hair curlers. ¤
Saria: Hello, and welcome back to Hyrule: Caught on Camera!, the hit TV show where Hyrule's most prominent citizens each get to express how they see Hyrule! Or, in some cases, what they do when a free video camera falls into their hands for a week. Anyways, today's film is by Ganondorf, who is currently separated from his evil form, Ganon, on parole. Enjoy!
¤ Saria pushes a button as the giant TV screen turns on and the lights turn off. The audience applauds for a moment and then watches the film. ¤
Day One: The Deli
¤ The camera fades in on a shot of a storefront window, presumably the window in Gandola's Deli. Several busy people are walking around outside. Once again, the date and time displays on the camera are messed up and now read in flashing, neon-pink letters:
SM 51, 675492 16:998 AF ¤
Ganondorf (Voice): Hello, and welcome to DeliCam!
¤ The camera shuts off. When it turns back on, we see somebody ordering food from the deli. We watch as they are served and walk out of the store. The camera shuts off, and does the same thing with various customers for some time. By the time this is over, day one has gone by and the camera is almost halfway out of tape. Much of the audience is now fast asleep. The interesting thing here is that the show is using the same tape over and over again for budget reasons, so in various spots you can still see some of Link's footage. ¤
Ganondorf: Here you are! Have a nice day!
Link: ---NEVER ATTACK ME WHEN I WANT YOU TO?!
Random customer: I'll take some---
Link: ---CHEEZ-E-PUFFS BAGS?!?!?
¤ The camera shuts off and from here on out, Ganondorf has fixed the editing problem and no more of Link's footage can be seen. ¤
Day Two
¤ Nighttime: Ganondorf is walking around taping various things in the Castle Town: various wild dogs, a few citizens out late, and some very tired-looking guards, including one who fell asleep at his post. ¤
Ganondorf: Hehehe...I saved all my tape for this moment! Hyrule's national security force in action! How can these people sleep at night if THIS guy does?!
¤ The camera shuts off. At this point there isn't much tape left, so Ganondorf has decided that the only way to beat Link is to use the rest of his tape for something even more entertaining than Link's Sacred Realm adventure. ¤
Day Five: Rocket Stones
¤ It's nighttime (again), and this time Ganondorf is standing by the Gossip stones by the Temple of Time. A row of bombs is lined up in front of them. ¤
Ganondorf: Now, if this works right...
¤ Fourth of July-Fireworks-type music plays as Ganondorf lights off the first bomb of the row. It causes a chain reaction and all the bombs follow suit. Following that is the Gossip stones beeping and flashing different colors. The camera follows them as they take off like little spaceships. ¤
(A/N: THIS REALLY WORKS! Not at the Temple of Time though, as you can't use bombs there. But TRY IT! It's funny!)
¤ The music continues playing as the camera shows various gossip stones blasting off: as some are underground or inside caves, they hit the "ceiling" and explode resulting in some kind of unconventional fireworks show. Finally, the music stops and the "fireworks" end. ¤
Day Seven: Ganon's Return
¤ Ganondorf, still desperate for something to tape, has somehow wandered into the Temple of time: BIG mistake. ¤
Ganondorf (Voice echoing in the vast expanse of the temple): Hmm.. Doesn't seem like there's much in here. HEL-LO! What have we here?
¤ Ganondorf notices some very key differences in the temple: the Door of Time is wide open, the Sacred Stones are in the altar, and the Master Sword is gone, allowing anybody who pleases to get into the Sacred Realm. ¤
Ganondorf: Let's get an interview with Rauru! He seems to want to be on TV a lot!
¤ Ganondorf steps up to the pedestal. The same blue light that surrounded Link and the camera last time surrounds Ganondorf and the camera. Now, you need to understand that from as far away as outside the Temple of Time, Ganondorf feels no desire to return to his former self due to the rules set by his probation officer. However, take one step inside those doors and Ganon is almost guaranteed to return. ¤
Ganondorf: Wheee! Up, up, and awaaaaaaaaaay!
¤ Ganondorf enters the Sacred Realm to be greeted by Rauru: and a very ANGRY Rauru at that. ¤
Rauru: I'm sorry, but I cannot allow you to come any fur---
Ganondorf: Out of my way, old man!
¤ Ganondorf shoves Rauru aside, grabs some bags of Cheez-E-Puffs, and leaves the Temple of Light. ¤
Ganondorf: MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!
¤ The camera shuts off. When it turns back on, we see that Ganondorf has set it on a pile of something and is now littering Cheez-E-Puffs all around the area. ¤
Ganondorf: Heh heh heh...this oughta do it! Now to wait..
¤ Several minutes go by as Ganondorf walks around impatiently. Finally, Ganon appears over the horizon and approaches Ganondorf (After consuming all the Cheez-E-Puffs) ¤
Ganondorf: Hello, my old friend...