~Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away?~
The four of them sat in the living room together, engrossed in conversation. Or rather, three of them were engrossed in conversation, leaving Ed sitting back on the couch, trying her best to not throw herself on Spike. Ever since Faye and Jet had returned, Spike had to stuck to Faye's side, following her everywhere, paying her constant attention. Ed was getting rather nervous, not to mention a little jealous. She had made sandwiches for lunch, and had even brought them in to everyone, not asking for any help. She knew what everyone liked to eat, knew what they liked to drink, and knew how to make everything on the menu. She had set the plates down for everyone, had brought them everything. Jet was full of thanks, as always; Faye smiled appreciatively, as was her norm; but Spike didn't even acknowledge the lunch sitting in front of him. That is until he ate it. Even then, no word of thanks. So Ed had sighed in frustration, finishing her own sandwich, and settling in next to Spike. She slid her arms around him, laying her head against his arm. Usually Spike would put his arm around her shoulders, drawing her in closer to him. But this time he didn't even acknowledge her presence, simply kept his back turned to her and spoke to Faye. Faye and Jet were currently telling Spike about how Faye had easily been able to cheat her way into the hundreds of thousands of woolongs she'd managed to swindel from the casino. Ed found herself smiling at Faye's story telling abilities, and at Jet's off the cuff commentary. It was nice to have them back, but she wished Spike would at least acknowledge her. He was so frustrating at times.
"I need another drink. I'll be right back." Spike pulled away from Ed, standing up to make his way to the kitchen. Ed watched him leave, longing to jump up and run after him, make some excuse to get him alone in the kitchen. But whatever plan she'd been thinking up was interrupted, as she realized Faye was speaking to her.
"You listening to me Eddie? I swear, sometimes you are totally off in your own little world." Ed blushed as she looked over at Faye, listening to her question again and answering. She really had nothing against Faye, she really liked having Faye around. But Faye always complicated things with Spike, so Ed's heart was torn. Maybe if she could just see the both of them separately and not together, that would solve all her problems.
~Here's what I have to say~
~~@Diary of Ed; Bebop Radical#
~~Stardate: whothefuckcares, life blows Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best way to start off a journal entry, blow me. :P~ Why oh why did Faye have to prance back into our lives again? I swear, can't I ever get a damned break? I don't mean to be a brat; I love Faye, really I do; but how is it she has the ability to totally wipe my presence out? If Spike loves me as much as he says, then why won't he ever show it around Faye? Does she make him nervous? Does she secretly bug him about me? Am I wrong in liking Faye? Is she really the enemy? Or is Spike just stuck on Faye, like a fat kid on Smarties? I feel like giving up. Just packing my bags and going away. But I love Spike. Damn it I LOVE SPIKE!! There, now that we've clarified that much information. If only I could bring myself to tell Jet about all of this. He could sort it out for me, and tell me I'm just being a love sick fool, and that nothing is wrong at all, and I'm just jumping to conclusions. After all, they went through so much together while I was gone, who am I to expect to just waltz in here and take over the spotlight? Maybe I am being a stupid kid. Maybe I'm not mature enough for a relationship. Maybe I should leave. Maybe I need Spike more than Spike needs me. Maybe Spike doesn't need me at all. Maybe no one needs me. Maybe Jet just knows how Spike really feels, and is only so nice to me because he feels sorry for me. Maybe Faye laughs at me every time I ask her about anything pertaining to relationships. Maybe they all sit around when I'm not there and talk about me. Maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe I'm running low on self-esteem. Maybe I need a change. But maybe what I need is right in front of me. Maybe I just don't see it. Maybe I'm being too pessimistic again, and maybe I should just shut the hell up and go to bed. Maybe what I need is a good night's sleep. I wonder if Spike will remember he sleeps with me this time, and not on the couch. We'll see I suppose. We shall see.
Why'd you turn away?~
The four of them sat in the living room together, engrossed in conversation. Or rather, three of them were engrossed in conversation, leaving Ed sitting back on the couch, trying her best to not throw herself on Spike. Ever since Faye and Jet had returned, Spike had to stuck to Faye's side, following her everywhere, paying her constant attention. Ed was getting rather nervous, not to mention a little jealous. She had made sandwiches for lunch, and had even brought them in to everyone, not asking for any help. She knew what everyone liked to eat, knew what they liked to drink, and knew how to make everything on the menu. She had set the plates down for everyone, had brought them everything. Jet was full of thanks, as always; Faye smiled appreciatively, as was her norm; but Spike didn't even acknowledge the lunch sitting in front of him. That is until he ate it. Even then, no word of thanks. So Ed had sighed in frustration, finishing her own sandwich, and settling in next to Spike. She slid her arms around him, laying her head against his arm. Usually Spike would put his arm around her shoulders, drawing her in closer to him. But this time he didn't even acknowledge her presence, simply kept his back turned to her and spoke to Faye. Faye and Jet were currently telling Spike about how Faye had easily been able to cheat her way into the hundreds of thousands of woolongs she'd managed to swindel from the casino. Ed found herself smiling at Faye's story telling abilities, and at Jet's off the cuff commentary. It was nice to have them back, but she wished Spike would at least acknowledge her. He was so frustrating at times.
"I need another drink. I'll be right back." Spike pulled away from Ed, standing up to make his way to the kitchen. Ed watched him leave, longing to jump up and run after him, make some excuse to get him alone in the kitchen. But whatever plan she'd been thinking up was interrupted, as she realized Faye was speaking to her.
"You listening to me Eddie? I swear, sometimes you are totally off in your own little world." Ed blushed as she looked over at Faye, listening to her question again and answering. She really had nothing against Faye, she really liked having Faye around. But Faye always complicated things with Spike, so Ed's heart was torn. Maybe if she could just see the both of them separately and not together, that would solve all her problems.
~Here's what I have to say~
~~@Diary of Ed; Bebop Radical#
~~Stardate: whothefuckcares, life blows Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best way to start off a journal entry, blow me. :P~ Why oh why did Faye have to prance back into our lives again? I swear, can't I ever get a damned break? I don't mean to be a brat; I love Faye, really I do; but how is it she has the ability to totally wipe my presence out? If Spike loves me as much as he says, then why won't he ever show it around Faye? Does she make him nervous? Does she secretly bug him about me? Am I wrong in liking Faye? Is she really the enemy? Or is Spike just stuck on Faye, like a fat kid on Smarties? I feel like giving up. Just packing my bags and going away. But I love Spike. Damn it I LOVE SPIKE!! There, now that we've clarified that much information. If only I could bring myself to tell Jet about all of this. He could sort it out for me, and tell me I'm just being a love sick fool, and that nothing is wrong at all, and I'm just jumping to conclusions. After all, they went through so much together while I was gone, who am I to expect to just waltz in here and take over the spotlight? Maybe I am being a stupid kid. Maybe I'm not mature enough for a relationship. Maybe I should leave. Maybe I need Spike more than Spike needs me. Maybe Spike doesn't need me at all. Maybe no one needs me. Maybe Jet just knows how Spike really feels, and is only so nice to me because he feels sorry for me. Maybe Faye laughs at me every time I ask her about anything pertaining to relationships. Maybe they all sit around when I'm not there and talk about me. Maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe I'm running low on self-esteem. Maybe I need a change. But maybe what I need is right in front of me. Maybe I just don't see it. Maybe I'm being too pessimistic again, and maybe I should just shut the hell up and go to bed. Maybe what I need is a good night's sleep. I wonder if Spike will remember he sleeps with me this time, and not on the couch. We'll see I suppose. We shall see.