Chapter Six: The Ever-Appropriate Katie
"You know Gandalf, you didn't do anything wizardy in that battle," Kay observed. "I had to do all the ass whoopin'."
"It was not my time," Gandalf replied.
"Well, all right, if you say so. Hey if you knew what that place was called why didn't you tell us?"
"You don't have advanced magic to communicate and Beth does. Trust me you'll need her. Katie and Pip, would you stop?"
Katie and Pip had been hiding behind a tree, still goofing off as they were earlier. "Wasn't doin' nothing!"
"Yes, you weren't doing nothing. You were doing something. Watch your double negatives."
"Who are you, my English teacher? Crap head."
"Don't say the c-r-a-p word."
"So are we going to Gondor?" Katie asked, still behind the tree and refusing to bring her hands out from their hiding place.
"Yes. Who knows? We might see someone we know."
"Oh, will we see King Aragorn? I hear he is a sexy beast."
Pip looked quite offended. Gandalf just chuckled.
"He has a wife you know. Biggus Dickus. Her name is Incontinentia. Incontinentia buttox!"
Katie about died laughing. "Monty Python hasn't been invented yet, ya stupid ho. And her name is Arwen."
By this time, Kayla was getting quite annoyed with this whole conversation. "Katie, hand check."
"No."
"Yes."
Kayla ran around and grabbed Katie's hands, which were....nowhere inappropriate. Kayla walked off in a huff.
"See? I was a good girl!" Katie shouted.
Gandalf looked quite concerned. "I wonder what Torak did with Aragorn and Arwen."
"Hopefully nothing inappropriate, though Kayla's probably already considered that possibility," Katie said, shouting over so Kayla could hear her.
"Shut up, ya stupid ho," Kayla shot back.
"We'd better get started," Pip said, standing up.
Katie looked shocked. "Pip? In front of the whole fellowship?"
Pip smiled. "I meant traveling."
"Right. I knew that."
They traveled onward, hanging out with their respected newfound 'friends.' Gandalf looked lustily onward towards the hobbits.
Just kidding.
All this time spent in the sun made the entire fellowship begin to either burn or tan. Kay burnt. Frodo tanned. Pip and Merry tanned. Katie and Beth burned. Sam and Rosie both tanned, and Gandalf....was still Gandalf. Probably because he didn't get any sun with that stupid hat and robe on. Not that anyone wanted him to take it off.
The male hobbits were all becoming more muscular as well. The girls really appreciated that. And Gandalf....was still Gandalf.
But they did the whole travel-thingy, crossing mountains, navigating rivers, weathering storms....you know, that boring stuff.
Until we get to the next chapter, when things really heat up. And yes, that can be taken one of two ways.
"You know Gandalf, you didn't do anything wizardy in that battle," Kay observed. "I had to do all the ass whoopin'."
"It was not my time," Gandalf replied.
"Well, all right, if you say so. Hey if you knew what that place was called why didn't you tell us?"
"You don't have advanced magic to communicate and Beth does. Trust me you'll need her. Katie and Pip, would you stop?"
Katie and Pip had been hiding behind a tree, still goofing off as they were earlier. "Wasn't doin' nothing!"
"Yes, you weren't doing nothing. You were doing something. Watch your double negatives."
"Who are you, my English teacher? Crap head."
"Don't say the c-r-a-p word."
"So are we going to Gondor?" Katie asked, still behind the tree and refusing to bring her hands out from their hiding place.
"Yes. Who knows? We might see someone we know."
"Oh, will we see King Aragorn? I hear he is a sexy beast."
Pip looked quite offended. Gandalf just chuckled.
"He has a wife you know. Biggus Dickus. Her name is Incontinentia. Incontinentia buttox!"
Katie about died laughing. "Monty Python hasn't been invented yet, ya stupid ho. And her name is Arwen."
By this time, Kayla was getting quite annoyed with this whole conversation. "Katie, hand check."
"No."
"Yes."
Kayla ran around and grabbed Katie's hands, which were....nowhere inappropriate. Kayla walked off in a huff.
"See? I was a good girl!" Katie shouted.
Gandalf looked quite concerned. "I wonder what Torak did with Aragorn and Arwen."
"Hopefully nothing inappropriate, though Kayla's probably already considered that possibility," Katie said, shouting over so Kayla could hear her.
"Shut up, ya stupid ho," Kayla shot back.
"We'd better get started," Pip said, standing up.
Katie looked shocked. "Pip? In front of the whole fellowship?"
Pip smiled. "I meant traveling."
"Right. I knew that."
They traveled onward, hanging out with their respected newfound 'friends.' Gandalf looked lustily onward towards the hobbits.
Just kidding.
All this time spent in the sun made the entire fellowship begin to either burn or tan. Kay burnt. Frodo tanned. Pip and Merry tanned. Katie and Beth burned. Sam and Rosie both tanned, and Gandalf....was still Gandalf. Probably because he didn't get any sun with that stupid hat and robe on. Not that anyone wanted him to take it off.
The male hobbits were all becoming more muscular as well. The girls really appreciated that. And Gandalf....was still Gandalf.
But they did the whole travel-thingy, crossing mountains, navigating rivers, weathering storms....you know, that boring stuff.
Until we get to the next chapter, when things really heat up. And yes, that can be taken one of two ways.