Do you honestly think that I own Happy Noodle Boy? If so, press 1 on your
keyboard and you will be transported to heck. Yes it exists. It's a
basement. If not, don't press anything and just read the fic.
Ask Happy Noodle Boy: Take Two
Q: Dear Happy Noodle Boy,
My sister is a really big ButtNutt. She keeps butting into my life and no matter how many knives I drive into her skull, she keeps coming back. What should I do?
-My sister's a ButtNutt
A: Dear My sister's a ButtNutt,
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL THOSE PEEPS TO QUIT HANGING UP ON ZOMBIES?! IT'S LIKE THEY JUST WON'T STAY SALTY NO MATTER HOW MUCH I PEPPER THEM!!! CURSE YOU TEDDY BEAR FLUFF!! I always knew you would butcher me with your incessant butter knives and anemic fire hydrants in the middle. Flibbergibet.
-Get away from me before I call the flowers, Happy Noodle Boy
Q: Dear Happy Noodle Thing,
What is the meaning of life? I've tried and tried to figure it out, but it never comes to me. Is it about giving big, bloody infectious paper cuts to little school children? Or is it about skipping in the posies with sickeningly cute and fluffy bunnies and pretty little butterflies? Please help me figure out why I was put on this planet.
-Ed G.
A: Dear Ed G.,
Awwww, but I wanted to be a rock. FOOK YOU, ONE WHO DENIES ME POP ROCKS!!! YOU MAY TAKE MY INFECTED BRAIN HAIRS! YOU MAY TAKE MY FOOT POWDER! BUT YOU MAY NEVER TAKE MY FREEZY!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS MILLISECOND!! BILLY JEAN IS NOT MY LOVER!! SHE'S JUST A GARBAGE CAN WHAT THINKS I SMELL NICE!! BUT THE FRUIT LOOP IS NOT MY TOENAIL DAMNIT!! SEND IT TO OUTER SPACE TO BE WITH ITS MARS DUSTY HENCHMEN AND MENTALLY LEMONY FOLLOWERS!!
-Float like Edgar, Happy Noodle Boy
Q: Umm.hmm.Noodleboy:
Everyone tells me I need to stop having caffeine and sugar. But I LOVES them! Theyz my friends! Should I stop havin' my favorite drink stuffs?
-Noodletwin
A: I REFUSE TO DISBELIEVE THAT I DO NOT POSESS THE POWER TO IDENTICALLY LINK PAPER CLIPS TO SPACE SHIPS ON INTERSPASTIC GOO MISSIONS!! BEWARE THE DEMONS IN YOUR COMPUTER! THEY HAIL THE LEMON QUEEN WHO WILL EAT YOU IN YOUR NIGHTMARY SLEEP AND CALL UPON HER GREEN MINIONS THE PEEPING FROGS TO INGEST SQUIRRELS AND LEAVE THEM ON THE DOORSTEPS OF UNSUSPECTING HORSE FLIES!! I NOW DRINK NEGATIVE TEN MILLION PIXIE STICKS AND WHEEEEEEE!!!!!
-Mosquitoes are my friends, Happy Noodle Boy
Q: Dear Happy Noodle Boy,
If you could be anyone you wanted, who would it be? I would like to be anyone else in the world other than me, mainly for the fact that I'm in love with two people, and there's nothing I can do about it. Even if I didn't love my boyfriend, I couldn't even be with the other person I like, cause they're with someone else and.we're close as family you could say, and it might weird them out. Is there something I can do to change the way I think of my life? I can't seem to think of any other reasons as to why I'm still even on this earth. Other than the fact that the higher power just wants to royally screw me over. Any advice that would make sense would be great.Ah fook.There's Nny again, wanting some Skettios.it's okay, just as long as Lucky doesn't want another one of her samitchs.
-Shitfully yours, Ashii from the Turning Wheels story
A: Dear Ashii,
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU DENY THE PESTULENCE OF A HIGHER TOILET?! DOES IT NOT SPRAY YOU WITH PESTICIDES AND DANCE IN THE RAIN ON THE GRAVES OF THE MOMENTARILY DARNED?! I FOLLOWED THE WHITE RABBIT, BUT HE JUMPED OFF A PURPLE DAISY CLIFF!! USE YOUR FEET WINGS BUNNY!! IT SICKENS ME WITH COFFEE STAINS THAT I CAN'T SEEM TO FIX THE RADIO NO MATTER HOW LITTLE MINUTES I SPEND WHISPERING AND POINTING AT IT NOT TO PLAY COUNTY MUSIC AND NOXIOUS REPEATING PARASITE BALLODS OF THE INSANE ROOSTER!!
-I hate tree bushes, Happy Noodle Boy
Keep sending in your questions! But remember who you're asking. In other words, don't always expect a sane answer.
Ask Happy Noodle Boy: Take Two
Q: Dear Happy Noodle Boy,
My sister is a really big ButtNutt. She keeps butting into my life and no matter how many knives I drive into her skull, she keeps coming back. What should I do?
-My sister's a ButtNutt
A: Dear My sister's a ButtNutt,
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL THOSE PEEPS TO QUIT HANGING UP ON ZOMBIES?! IT'S LIKE THEY JUST WON'T STAY SALTY NO MATTER HOW MUCH I PEPPER THEM!!! CURSE YOU TEDDY BEAR FLUFF!! I always knew you would butcher me with your incessant butter knives and anemic fire hydrants in the middle. Flibbergibet.
-Get away from me before I call the flowers, Happy Noodle Boy
Q: Dear Happy Noodle Thing,
What is the meaning of life? I've tried and tried to figure it out, but it never comes to me. Is it about giving big, bloody infectious paper cuts to little school children? Or is it about skipping in the posies with sickeningly cute and fluffy bunnies and pretty little butterflies? Please help me figure out why I was put on this planet.
-Ed G.
A: Dear Ed G.,
Awwww, but I wanted to be a rock. FOOK YOU, ONE WHO DENIES ME POP ROCKS!!! YOU MAY TAKE MY INFECTED BRAIN HAIRS! YOU MAY TAKE MY FOOT POWDER! BUT YOU MAY NEVER TAKE MY FREEZY!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS MILLISECOND!! BILLY JEAN IS NOT MY LOVER!! SHE'S JUST A GARBAGE CAN WHAT THINKS I SMELL NICE!! BUT THE FRUIT LOOP IS NOT MY TOENAIL DAMNIT!! SEND IT TO OUTER SPACE TO BE WITH ITS MARS DUSTY HENCHMEN AND MENTALLY LEMONY FOLLOWERS!!
-Float like Edgar, Happy Noodle Boy
Q: Umm.hmm.Noodleboy:
Everyone tells me I need to stop having caffeine and sugar. But I LOVES them! Theyz my friends! Should I stop havin' my favorite drink stuffs?
-Noodletwin
A: I REFUSE TO DISBELIEVE THAT I DO NOT POSESS THE POWER TO IDENTICALLY LINK PAPER CLIPS TO SPACE SHIPS ON INTERSPASTIC GOO MISSIONS!! BEWARE THE DEMONS IN YOUR COMPUTER! THEY HAIL THE LEMON QUEEN WHO WILL EAT YOU IN YOUR NIGHTMARY SLEEP AND CALL UPON HER GREEN MINIONS THE PEEPING FROGS TO INGEST SQUIRRELS AND LEAVE THEM ON THE DOORSTEPS OF UNSUSPECTING HORSE FLIES!! I NOW DRINK NEGATIVE TEN MILLION PIXIE STICKS AND WHEEEEEEE!!!!!
-Mosquitoes are my friends, Happy Noodle Boy
Q: Dear Happy Noodle Boy,
If you could be anyone you wanted, who would it be? I would like to be anyone else in the world other than me, mainly for the fact that I'm in love with two people, and there's nothing I can do about it. Even if I didn't love my boyfriend, I couldn't even be with the other person I like, cause they're with someone else and.we're close as family you could say, and it might weird them out. Is there something I can do to change the way I think of my life? I can't seem to think of any other reasons as to why I'm still even on this earth. Other than the fact that the higher power just wants to royally screw me over. Any advice that would make sense would be great.Ah fook.There's Nny again, wanting some Skettios.it's okay, just as long as Lucky doesn't want another one of her samitchs.
-Shitfully yours, Ashii from the Turning Wheels story
A: Dear Ashii,
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU DENY THE PESTULENCE OF A HIGHER TOILET?! DOES IT NOT SPRAY YOU WITH PESTICIDES AND DANCE IN THE RAIN ON THE GRAVES OF THE MOMENTARILY DARNED?! I FOLLOWED THE WHITE RABBIT, BUT HE JUMPED OFF A PURPLE DAISY CLIFF!! USE YOUR FEET WINGS BUNNY!! IT SICKENS ME WITH COFFEE STAINS THAT I CAN'T SEEM TO FIX THE RADIO NO MATTER HOW LITTLE MINUTES I SPEND WHISPERING AND POINTING AT IT NOT TO PLAY COUNTY MUSIC AND NOXIOUS REPEATING PARASITE BALLODS OF THE INSANE ROOSTER!!
-I hate tree bushes, Happy Noodle Boy
Keep sending in your questions! But remember who you're asking. In other words, don't always expect a sane answer.