Yes! Someone finally sent in some questions!! Yayness and thank you to
those who did!
Ask Happy Noodle Boy: Week 5
Q: Dear Happy Noodle Boy,
My stomach has been making a rumbly sound for three days now. It is starting to hurt. I think my head is going to explode. My nipples are itchy. My toenails are clipping me! My teeth are bleeding. My genitals are throbbing. What's wrong with me, Master Happy Noodle Boy?
In much pain, Tay
A: Dear Tay,
SQEAK THE RUBBER CHICKEN THOUGH IT HAS NO PLACE FOR YOU IN ITS DESOLATE HEART OF CONGEALED TURKEY MEAT!!! QUACK WHEN NUNS ARE WATCHING AND ASK YOUR LOCAL SALTED PEANUTS DISPENSER WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE AND THEN RUN SLOWLY AS THE WORLD EXPLODES BEFORE YOUR VERY NOSE!!!! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU WHEN THE MAGNOLIAS COME FOR YOUR SOUL! I'LL JUST SAY YOU DIED OF SUPERNATURAL CAUSES WHEN THEY FIND YOU HANGING ON A FLAGPOLE WITH A TOASTER GLUED TO YOUR SOCKS!!
Somebody else's truly,
Happy Noodle Boy
Q:Dear Mr. Noodle Person I am caught in a strange love triangle. Other the past two years, I have liked two boys. Both are close friends of mine but there's a problem. I started out with a crush on one of them, let's call him Torg. My sister didn't think he was good enough for me and my best friend thought he was a bad person because he told her her boyfriend was on drugs. He was, but that didn't matter. After I finally got over it, I got a crush on his friend, we'll call him Sean. Sean has no interest in me, but for over a year, I've adored him. Now I find out Torg likes me and I don't know what to do! Go to Torg or follow Sean around and risk losing a very good chance at happiness and end up old and alone with no one but my cat to love me? Help. Boop A: Dear Boop,
QUESTION NOT MY SWEATY MEASELS WHAT YOUR LAWNMOWER CAN DO FOR YOU! ASK WHAT THE ICE CREAM MAN CAN DO FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR'S GARBAGE DISPOSAL! GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THEY HAVE GIVEN ME A SHITNEY AGULERA DEATH TAPE!! THEY WILL PAY WITH THEIR TONSILS OR MY NAME ISN'T MICHEAL JACKSON!! Is it? No, I prefer to molest the butterflies while surfing for sharks in Orangeville. Come, Mister Monarch. I won't kill your vital spleen organs. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HOW DO YOU WET MY EARDRUMS LIKE OPEN WINDOWS?!?! IS IT THEM THAT ARE LEADING YOU DOWN INTO MY ESOPHAGUS WHERE EVERY NIGHT IT BURNS! IT BURNS!!!!! WITHOUT AN ANTACID MY PILLOWS ARE SLEEPING SOMEWHERE WITH PALM TREES! UNTIL MY PUPPY DAWG FINDS IT THERE AND LEADS IT BACK TO THE OLD FOLKS' HOME! KNOCK ME OUT! KNOCK ME OUT RIGHT NOW! I CAN'T VOMIT! KNOCK ME OUT RIGHT NOW!!! *BANG* Thank you.
Save me from the something it's become,
Happy Noodle Boy
Yay for really stupid Bring Me to Life references!
Ask Happy Noodle Boy: Week 5
Q: Dear Happy Noodle Boy,
My stomach has been making a rumbly sound for three days now. It is starting to hurt. I think my head is going to explode. My nipples are itchy. My toenails are clipping me! My teeth are bleeding. My genitals are throbbing. What's wrong with me, Master Happy Noodle Boy?
In much pain, Tay
A: Dear Tay,
SQEAK THE RUBBER CHICKEN THOUGH IT HAS NO PLACE FOR YOU IN ITS DESOLATE HEART OF CONGEALED TURKEY MEAT!!! QUACK WHEN NUNS ARE WATCHING AND ASK YOUR LOCAL SALTED PEANUTS DISPENSER WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE AND THEN RUN SLOWLY AS THE WORLD EXPLODES BEFORE YOUR VERY NOSE!!!! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU WHEN THE MAGNOLIAS COME FOR YOUR SOUL! I'LL JUST SAY YOU DIED OF SUPERNATURAL CAUSES WHEN THEY FIND YOU HANGING ON A FLAGPOLE WITH A TOASTER GLUED TO YOUR SOCKS!!
Somebody else's truly,
Happy Noodle Boy
Q:Dear Mr. Noodle Person I am caught in a strange love triangle. Other the past two years, I have liked two boys. Both are close friends of mine but there's a problem. I started out with a crush on one of them, let's call him Torg. My sister didn't think he was good enough for me and my best friend thought he was a bad person because he told her her boyfriend was on drugs. He was, but that didn't matter. After I finally got over it, I got a crush on his friend, we'll call him Sean. Sean has no interest in me, but for over a year, I've adored him. Now I find out Torg likes me and I don't know what to do! Go to Torg or follow Sean around and risk losing a very good chance at happiness and end up old and alone with no one but my cat to love me? Help. Boop A: Dear Boop,
QUESTION NOT MY SWEATY MEASELS WHAT YOUR LAWNMOWER CAN DO FOR YOU! ASK WHAT THE ICE CREAM MAN CAN DO FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR'S GARBAGE DISPOSAL! GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THEY HAVE GIVEN ME A SHITNEY AGULERA DEATH TAPE!! THEY WILL PAY WITH THEIR TONSILS OR MY NAME ISN'T MICHEAL JACKSON!! Is it? No, I prefer to molest the butterflies while surfing for sharks in Orangeville. Come, Mister Monarch. I won't kill your vital spleen organs. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HOW DO YOU WET MY EARDRUMS LIKE OPEN WINDOWS?!?! IS IT THEM THAT ARE LEADING YOU DOWN INTO MY ESOPHAGUS WHERE EVERY NIGHT IT BURNS! IT BURNS!!!!! WITHOUT AN ANTACID MY PILLOWS ARE SLEEPING SOMEWHERE WITH PALM TREES! UNTIL MY PUPPY DAWG FINDS IT THERE AND LEADS IT BACK TO THE OLD FOLKS' HOME! KNOCK ME OUT! KNOCK ME OUT RIGHT NOW! I CAN'T VOMIT! KNOCK ME OUT RIGHT NOW!!! *BANG* Thank you.
Save me from the something it's become,
Happy Noodle Boy
Yay for really stupid Bring Me to Life references!