Hello boys and girls and those of you who either aren't sure of your gender
or don't know what the word means! It's time for the sixth edition of Ask
Happy Noodle Boy! The required disclaimer raises an interesting question.
Can you still own something that is owned by a figment of your imagination?
Since you own the imaginary thing would you own the other thing too? Or
would the imaginary thing own it? Would it own itself? Does your
imagination really own you but it's being all subliminal and ironic and
stuff about it? But you can think about that after...if your brain still
works.
Ask Happy Noodle Boy: Take 6
Dear Noodle thingy, Q: I am desperate. For two years now I have been in love with this girl at my school. She is my friend and all, and I want nothing to change that. On the other hand, however, I am ready to spend the rest of my life with her. I want so badly to hold her in my arms and kiss her gently, but sh seems to think of me as nothing more than a friend. Can you help me? Yours Truly, ~*Confused*~ A: Dear Confused,
DO YOU NOT SMELL THE SMELLINESS OF MY CHEESY POOFS!! I WANT MY CHEESY POOFS DAMNIT!!!! AND NO LOUD THUMB SUCKING CRAP FOR BRAINS PUMPKIN IS GOING TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM MY LORD AND MASTER!!! He knows the location of the sacred Twinkies!! HE DOESN'T I TELLS YA!!! FINE! DON'T BELIEVE ME! GO DIE IN SOME ROASTY TOASTY ROLLY POLLY FIREY PIT AND SIMMER ON MEDIUM FOR TEN MINUTES!!! The flames wouldn't believe you either as they licked your lice ingrained ankles and said "HOLY CRAP THIS THING'S GOT TAMPONS!!!"
Not Your Biotch,
Happy Noodle Boy
Q:Dear Mr. Sticky, I commited blashphemy the other day! I said I hated cheez-whiz! Oh cheezy things who live in the crisper in the refrigerator...I am sorry! What sould I do? Should I douse myself in A1 sauce and sacrifice myself to my vast collection of DVD's or should I live in fear that the ritz crackers will strike me dead for the rest of my life?! Help! Most definitley not yours, One with cheesey religion. A: Dear One With Cheesy Religion,
I KNOW THE MOST ANNOYING SONG IN THE WORLD AND IT GOES LIKE THIS! UNDERNEATH YOUR CLOTHES, THERE'S AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF TREE SLOTHS! YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'D WANT TO COME BACK AS! SITTING AROUND IN THE TREES AND SCRATCHING MY 3 STRIKES! YOU'RE IN THE DARK DARK DARK AS IN THE OCEAN! DARK AS IN THE SEA! MISS SUZIE HAD A STEEPLE AND HEY! YOU! WHAT DO YOU SEE?! SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL AND SOMETHING CORPORATE SUCKS!!! I MEAN THEY SOUND JUST LIKE WWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH MON! I'M LIKE SO FREAKING HIGH!! HIGH ABOVE ME! SHE'S SO LIKE SCARY LIKE! AND SHE HAS LIKE BLACK EYELINER AND A LIKE TIE AND IT'S LIKE SCARY BUT IT'S LIKE COOL AND I'M GOING TO LIKE GO LIKE IMITATE HER LIKE NOW LIKE A PILL! INSTEAD OF MAKING ME BETTER YOU KEEP MAKING ME RUN AWAY ON ME AGEEAN!!! MARCY, YOUR THREE LEGGED DOG GOT RUNED OVER BY MY TRUCK WITH MY HIGH HEELS ON! DRIVING A TRUCK! DRIVING A BIG OLD TRUCK WITH MY HIGH HEELS ON IN AAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLBUQUERQUE!!!!! IN AAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLBUQUERQUE!!!!
Gone to Spray the Germs,
Happy Noodle Boy
Ask Happy Noodle Boy: Take 6
Dear Noodle thingy, Q: I am desperate. For two years now I have been in love with this girl at my school. She is my friend and all, and I want nothing to change that. On the other hand, however, I am ready to spend the rest of my life with her. I want so badly to hold her in my arms and kiss her gently, but sh seems to think of me as nothing more than a friend. Can you help me? Yours Truly, ~*Confused*~ A: Dear Confused,
DO YOU NOT SMELL THE SMELLINESS OF MY CHEESY POOFS!! I WANT MY CHEESY POOFS DAMNIT!!!! AND NO LOUD THUMB SUCKING CRAP FOR BRAINS PUMPKIN IS GOING TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM MY LORD AND MASTER!!! He knows the location of the sacred Twinkies!! HE DOESN'T I TELLS YA!!! FINE! DON'T BELIEVE ME! GO DIE IN SOME ROASTY TOASTY ROLLY POLLY FIREY PIT AND SIMMER ON MEDIUM FOR TEN MINUTES!!! The flames wouldn't believe you either as they licked your lice ingrained ankles and said "HOLY CRAP THIS THING'S GOT TAMPONS!!!"
Not Your Biotch,
Happy Noodle Boy
Q:Dear Mr. Sticky, I commited blashphemy the other day! I said I hated cheez-whiz! Oh cheezy things who live in the crisper in the refrigerator...I am sorry! What sould I do? Should I douse myself in A1 sauce and sacrifice myself to my vast collection of DVD's or should I live in fear that the ritz crackers will strike me dead for the rest of my life?! Help! Most definitley not yours, One with cheesey religion. A: Dear One With Cheesy Religion,
I KNOW THE MOST ANNOYING SONG IN THE WORLD AND IT GOES LIKE THIS! UNDERNEATH YOUR CLOTHES, THERE'S AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF TREE SLOTHS! YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'D WANT TO COME BACK AS! SITTING AROUND IN THE TREES AND SCRATCHING MY 3 STRIKES! YOU'RE IN THE DARK DARK DARK AS IN THE OCEAN! DARK AS IN THE SEA! MISS SUZIE HAD A STEEPLE AND HEY! YOU! WHAT DO YOU SEE?! SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL AND SOMETHING CORPORATE SUCKS!!! I MEAN THEY SOUND JUST LIKE WWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH MON! I'M LIKE SO FREAKING HIGH!! HIGH ABOVE ME! SHE'S SO LIKE SCARY LIKE! AND SHE HAS LIKE BLACK EYELINER AND A LIKE TIE AND IT'S LIKE SCARY BUT IT'S LIKE COOL AND I'M GOING TO LIKE GO LIKE IMITATE HER LIKE NOW LIKE A PILL! INSTEAD OF MAKING ME BETTER YOU KEEP MAKING ME RUN AWAY ON ME AGEEAN!!! MARCY, YOUR THREE LEGGED DOG GOT RUNED OVER BY MY TRUCK WITH MY HIGH HEELS ON! DRIVING A TRUCK! DRIVING A BIG OLD TRUCK WITH MY HIGH HEELS ON IN AAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLBUQUERQUE!!!!! IN AAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLBUQUERQUE!!!!
Gone to Spray the Germs,
Happy Noodle Boy