Tee hee
By the way I haven't really been doing the disclaimers lately and just so you know this is the only one I will do.
DISCLAIMER: if you are stupid enough to think that the characters and such belong to me then please bang your head right here
Otherwise read on!
Day three
Dear my lovely Belinda,
I woke up with pippin's hand in my mouth. " Who's your daddy?" I heard Sam mumble. I immediately jumped up and got dressed, wondering why my whole stash of weed was gone. I decided that since the whole day was to be walking that I would wear my new hat that Gandalf just bought me. (A/N think of a pimp hat)
We started to walk but Sam kept complaining that he was tired and hungry and that he didn't like Strider. Merry thought that he was only here to ambush his "secret" weed that everyone knew about. I do miss assa, I wonder how the "Doobie Queen" is doing without me. I was her main buyer, next to Gandalf of course. Strider turned around when Merry whined that he was hungry and started yelling. " WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO CLIMB A TREE YOU LITTLE HALF ASSED BASTARD?"
I kind of got the feeling that Strider didn't like us.
" IF YOU ARE SO HUNGRY THEN HERE-" chucks an apple at merry "EAT THIS!" merry falls down out cold. " now look what you have done! Some one has to carry him!" everyone looked around and started whistling as a pink bunny tried to carry Merry away.
Since no one else was doing it I kicked the little furball and started to drag merry. " no! mr.! Frodo! I will carry him! We don't want you to hurt that pretty little back of yours" Sam cried. I am really starting to be concerned about Sam's concern for my well being. All of this friendliness is making me remember Gandalf and him regaling his nights spent at a certain inn, where lonely men gathered.
We got to this place I guess strider called weathertop. I think he should have called it Bad weathertop, because it was cloudy and cold and scary, and very windy. I am sad to say I lost my favorite hat. Merry woke up when we threw him on a rock.
" WE WILL REST HERE! " Yelled strider. " I AM GOING TO LOOK AROUND!" and then he scampered off. I guess I fell asleep because a little while later I woke up and saw the other hobbits. " what are you doing?" I cried " smokin what are you doin?" merry replied. " mer, why is that bottle of milk talking to us?" pippin said. I guess he was a little out of it. I smushed their doobies, and told them to shut up. " I can hear something" Sam farted and the other hobbits giggled. " WHAT THE FUCK? I SAID SHUT UP!" I heard a really scary noise and we all ran to the top of weathertop. The scary death men came up and tried to attack us but Sam wouldn't let the first one get past. However when the second one came and threw him aside I couldn't help but laugh. But when the death guy came after me I threw up my hands and screamed. I accidently put on the ring and saw the death things like all de-robed and stuff. One of the guys wasn't wearing underwear and I knew that, that would mess with me for the rest of my life. Then one of those little bastards stabbed me with a sword. It was then that strider ran in screaming " I AM A WARRRRRIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRR!" (WARRIOR) "WRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" and he kicked the dead guys asses. " WE MUST GET YOU TO SEE ELROND!" He yelled. " EVERYONE CALLS HIM EYEBROWS!" why? I asked "YOU"LL SEE!"
so here I am, laying on the ground in front of a bunch of trolls, with Sam stroking me in weird places. This isn't the greatest thing in the world, but wait. I can see a light, hold on…….