This is new…I just got inspiration from the last chapter I read of this story..strange…
Anyhoo!
Yay!
_________________________(*)_________(*)___________________________
day….?
BELINDA!
YAY! I got a letter from Assa! This giant owl dropped it down just a little while ago! Here, I will copy it here.
FRODO!
DUDE! How are you my little buddy?! The Shire is missing you something awful! After that "disappearance" of Bilbo, and then YOU and SAM leaving, this little town has been in a uproar!
I was talking to Primula, and she speculates that BILBO didn't actually leave, but he is STILL here, just sneaking around. I told her she needs to stay outta the mushroom patch. Hehehe
You know, I really have been missing you here man. You are like, my best friend. And NO that is not because you are my number two customer (outdone by Gandlaf ONLY) it's because you are like, deep man. I really like that in a hobbit. [wink, wink] hehehe.
Anyway. As soon as you get this drop me a line aye? AYE!
Catcha on the flipside G
Huggles and Buggles
Assa
The (doobie) Queen Of The Shire.
Lord I miss her. She was fine company too, when she wasn't on the topic of banana's that is, I swear! If you got her started on that subject, you would never hear the end of it.
Anyway.
Right now we are in the mines of Moria..(which makes me think…HOW the HELL did an OWL get in here?)
I didn't want to come in here, but we had no goddamned choice. Stupid Sauromon and his stupid birds, and the Stupid Mountain, and the Stupid snow.
But since it was all cold and stuff on the mountain, I thought we might as well go into the mines, seeing as Gimli kept ranting and raving about his relatives and their fires, and their meat. And honestly, it was sounding quite nice.
But when we actually got there, it wasn't that nice.
As soon as we got in there, Aragorn was like "HAY YOU GUYS! THIS PLACE IS LOOKING KIND OF CREEPY!"
And indeed it was. There was all these skeletons and stuff around. It wasn't cool. In fact I think it might give me nightmares…there's a thought… my nightmares consisting of naked death kings, and Dwarf Skeletons. Fun.
Anyway we tried to escape from this cave, but this really BITCHEN lake THING came out of the lake and wrapped itself around my leg. DAMMIT that was the creepiest feeling I have ever experienced in my LIFE!
So every one is freaking out, and running around in circles. Until the nancy prancy one, shoots an arrow and KILLS THE BASTARD! My GOD! I will NEVER look at Legolas the same way again.
So we had to go through the mines right? Well after about three hours of walking, Gandalf stops abruptly, turns around, and says. "Yo. I have NO idea where the hell we are."
Everyone slapped their head in frustration.
"GANDALF YOU NEED TO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND HAVE A GOOD THINK!" Aragorn yelled.
"Yes, G-string, I think I will do that. … I haven't had a good smoke in a wizile anyway."
"WHY DID YOU CALL ME G-STRING?" Aragorn yelled
"Shut up Asslesar." Gandalf retorted.
"IT'S ELLESAR" Aragorn screamed.
"WHATEVER yo." Gandalf said sitting down and lighting up a smoke.
"I WILL JOIN YOU IN YOUR DOOBIE SMOKING EXPERIENCE." Aragorn yelled sitting down next to Gandalf and lighting one up.
At this point all I could do was fall to the ground because my head hurt so much. I am telling you, Aragorn yelling so much is really starting to get to me.
And then to make matters worse Sam came over to me and was all like "Mr. Frodo, if you want, you can lay on my stomach. It makes a good peeeelow." He patted his stomach as he smiled well, I hate to say it, but I think he smile seductively.
This guy is really starting to freak me out.
The line has been crossed from uncomfortably close into dangerously feisty.
God.
HOLY FUCKAROONIE!
I just looked down and saw this really creepy GANGLY THING crawling around below!
OHMYSWEETJESUSLORD!
This guy is FREAKY looking!
I am gonna go ask Gandalf about it.
Be right back
But incase I am not…
Who loves you?
I do.
LOVE
Frodo.
The one who is currently freaked out to the point of never sleeping again.