I stayed and waited for her for hours, before finally giving up. She wasn't
coming. This was some sick joke. I threw out my empty beer bottle, grabbed
my keys and left my hotel room. I felt light-headed. I should've known that
she would leave me hanging. I cracked my knuckles in the elevator, feeling
restless. I felt like hitting someone.
The elevator stopped and I stepped out, keeping my gaze low on the ground, and my hands in my pockets. Luckily for me, no one gave me a second look. I couldn't believe she had stood me up, again. That woman had some nerve.. right when I was actually ready to talk to her too. No matter, tonight I'd just go out for some drinks. I stepped out into the cool night and took a deep breath. What a wasted day.
I kicked a rock as I walked over to my car. Someone was bound to recognize me if I just stood around. Fans.. who needed them? I kicked another rock and in doing so, didn't see the person in front of me. We bumped into each other, and I was brought out of my daze. I took a step back and looked up angrily.
"Watch where you're going!" We both shouted at each other at the same time. My breath caught in my throat when I saw that it was none other than Stephanie who I had bumped into. Just my luck.. I shook it off and forced myself to breathe.
"Chris! I was just going upstairs to go see you.." She said, as she adjusted her sunglasses.
"Yeah, well I was just leaving, so if you'll excuse me.." I don't even know how I managed to get the words out, but I did. I stepped to the side and went to walk around her, when she stepped in front of me.
"We need to talk." She stated.
"I just spent practically the entire day waiting for you. It's too late, and I'm tired. And what's up with the shades? It's dark out." I said, shaking my head. I tried to go around her again, and again, she stopped me. I sighed heavily and looked up into the night sky. I couldn't look her in the eye.
"Chris, please. I got caught up with Hunter, I'm sorry. Please let me talk to you."
"Stephanie! I don't want to talk to you!" I said, my voice rising as I began to feel frustrated. "Leave me alone!"
"You know what? You either sit down and talk to me, or I will have you fired! We NEED to talk!"
"My ass you'll have me fired. You know good and damn well that you wouldn't do it. Now get out of my way." I said, in my best effort to stay calm. I went to try to step around her when she reached out and placed her hands on my chest.
"Please, Chris, just let me talk to you." She said, pleading with me. I looked down at her hands, ignoring the chills she gave me with her touch. I scowled and bit my lip, but didn't move her hands. Maybe I was enjoying the moment, I don't know.
"Please?"
".. fine." I said, reluctantly giving in. Oh, if only she knew the power she had over me. She truly had no idea. I slowly took a step back, away from her. "Where do you want to talk?" I said, looking down at the ground, as if there were some hidden answers there.
"Here." She answered. Was she insane?
"What if someone -"
"I don't care, Chris." She cut me off. "Let someone see us, I don't care. I just want to talk to you."
"Yeah? Well, I care. So we're not talking out here to air our dirty laundry for any assclown to see. If you don't like it, then leave." I spat out, bitterly, mentally trying to keep my temper in check. I walked around her and opened the driver-side door to my car, then got in. She walked around to the passenger side and went to open the door, but it was locked.
I sat and waited for her, knowing full-well that the door was locked.
"Open the door, Chris!" I heard her yell through the glass. I pretended I didn't hear her. I could sense her annoyance, so I hit the button to my left and unlocked the door. She got in and sat down next to me.
"Thanks." She said, sarcastically. I just shrugged and looked out of my window, studying the rear-view mirror of the car parked next to mine. Neither of us spoke. Minutes passed, and I have could cut the tension in the car with a knife.
"Well gorgeous, I really love sitting in silence with you, but I don't have all night." I said snidely.
"What's your problem, Chris? What the hell is the matter with you?" She suddenly asked. I glanced at her quickly, before looking straight ahead of me, shaking my head in disbelief.
"What's MY problem? What's yours? You go and do all this shit to me, and it's my fault? You act like a little.." I stopped and took a deep breath, before looking away. She was truly impossible.
"Like a little what, Chris? Come on, let it out. I know you want to."
"Fine. You're a total bitch to me, every day, all day, all the time. And yet, I'm the one with a problem, right? If that's the case, get the HELL out of my car, and don't ever let me see you again."
"See, this is your problem, Chris -"
"You're my problem, Stephanie. A big one at that."
"You haven't let me talk to you in ages! How the hell do you know what was going on, if you won't let me talk to you?"
"Big whoop." I mumbled, and we both fell silent. "How could you do that to me?" I asked, after a while. "How could you.."
"How could I what?" She asked, surprised. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"You don't even know? Do you even remember when we dated? Oh, we went out for a while, only to find out that you cheated on me, and that's just the beginning of the list. Do you want me to fucking continue, Stephanie?!" I shouted, and she touched me on my arm. I pulled away. "Don't touch me!"
"Chris.. you don't understand." She said, and I could hear her voice start to crack.
"Oh, I don't understand. You're damn right I don't understand. You lied to me, you cheated on me, and THEN.. you acted like none of it happened! Like I was just.. some play thing to you.. like I didn't matter.." I stopped, before I lost my composure. My chest felt tight.
"That's not true." She said, softly. "You always mattered to me."
"You have a really funny way of showing it, then." I muttered, as I closed my eyes. I still hadn't looked at her. I didn't want to.
"You did. I always cared about you.. those months when we were together were the best I've ever had with anyone. Chris, I loved you. Then, things changed.."
"Damn right things changed." I cut in. "You know what? I'm tired of this conversation. Get out of my car." I ordered.
"Chris, you're not even giving me a chance to explain!"
"EXPLAIN WHAT?!" I cried out, startling her. I turned around to look at her angrily, but my vision wasn't clear. It was blurred. I was so upset and pissed off at the same time, that I had tears in my eyes, but didn't notice. "EXPLAIN HOW YOU LIED?!"
"Chris.. please.."
"EXPLAIN WHY YOU HURT ME LIKE YOU DID? HUH? YOU THINK YOU CAN EXPLAIN THAT TO ME?!" I didn't even hear what she had said, I was so worked up. Here she was, the cause for all of my pain. And for reasons unknown to me, she was still the one that I loved.
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU!" She screamed back at me, before she broke down in tears.
"Yeah, cry, Steph. Because you're the one that's been hurt the most during all of this shit." I choked out as I looked out through my window again, to avoid seeing her cry, even if she did have shades on. I lowered my window to let some air in. "Go ahead and cry. You've made me do it enough times."
"Chris.. I'm sorry.."
"Whatever.." I was sitting about as far away from her as I could possibly be. I wanted to open the door and leave, but I couldn't. I just wanted this to be over with, so I'd never have to sit down with her again. I couldn't even look at her for that long..
She beat me to it. She opened the door and left me alone in the car. I looked over and saw her walking away. No, this wasn't how it was going to end. She was not going to get off that easily.
I got out of my car and slammed the door, then walked over behind her. I reached out and grabbed her arm, and spun her around to face me. She cried out in pain when I did.
"Oh no, you're not going to end it with that. You fucking OWE me a goddamn explanation!" I said, getting in her face. How I couldn't see the obvious was beyond me.. I personally think it was the beer I drank earlier. She yanked her arm out of my grip, and turned away from me. I could tell she was still crying.
"Why? You don't want to hear it anyways!" She shouted. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. This woman was driving me absolutely crazy.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? Sorry if I hurt you." I reached out and touched her shoulder, but she pulled away from my touch. That upset me, but I kept control. "I didn't even grab you that hard!"
"Chris.. it was a mistake. I went out for some drinks, and I ended up with Hunter for one night.. it was a mistake, I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't want to leave you."
"That didn't seem to stop you, since you did anyways." I said, having relatively calmed down.
"He threatened you, Chris. He said he wanted to be with me.. and if I said no, he'd hurt you. Chris, I didn't want you to get hurt." I could hear her crying, and it was tearing me apart.
"Yeah?" I asked, suddenly feeling very heavy. I took a look around the parking lot. No one was nearby. I sighed and reached out to her, but I caught myself in time. I put both of my hands in my pockets, instead. "If that was the case, you could have told me. The bastard doesn't scare me, Stephanie."
"But he scared ME!" She shouted, while she sobbed. "I didn't want you to get hurt.. so I figured that if I called it off, that you'd meet someone else that could make you happy.. I didn't KNOW at the time that you were a professional wrestler!"
"Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, Steph." I responded sullenly. "That's why you were such a bitch to me when I started out with your dad's company, am I right? You were so SURPRISED that you pretended like you never knew me? World of sense there, sweetheart." I added, sarcastically.
"Fine, you want me to tell you, then I will! I knew that you would remember what we had, and Hunter would go after you, because he would sure as hell pick up on it. I never told him who you were, but he always asked. And if you came in all of a sudden," She paused and took a deep breath. "Here you come, and you recognize me, he'd know it was you, Chris! He'd know it! I tried, I went out of my way to be the biggest bitch I could be to you, so you'd start to hate me.."
"So I'd leave you alone." I finished for her. I tried to walk around her, but she wouldn't let me face her. I shifted my weight uncomfortably.
"But that backfired, because you always wanted to run your mouth at me.. until he finally did hurt you."
"And weren't you the concerned one that night at the hospital." I mumbled, feeling the pain from that night creep back up through me. Suddenly, I didn't want to stand so close to her. I took a step back, reminding myself of that night that still haunted my dreams. That was the night she broke my heart.
"What are you talking about? I was with you the entire night, I was worried, and I felt guilty.." I could tell by her voice that she was close to me.
"Bullshit. Ms 'I never loved you anyways', right? That's what you said." I wished I had a beer.
"Chris, what are you talking about?" She said, surprised. "I was with you that night! I was worried, but I couldn't show that with Hunter there when he was hurting you! He would have KILLED you! So I went afterwards to see you, by myself. I got away from him, and stayed with you. I was worried SICK!"
"Funny, that's not how I remember it." I mumbled.
"YOU HAD A CONCUSSION! How the hell could you remember? You were totally out of it!"
I stayed quiet, not wanting to believe what she was telling me. All she's ever done is lie to me.. why would this be any different? I did have a concussion though. Maybe it wasn't a lie after all.
"Great, so if that's the case, I've been living a lie, is that what you're telling me?" I lowered my gaze to the ground and kicked a rock impatiently.
"I was just scared, Chris. I tried to alienate you, tried to get you to hate me, but I never realized how much I was hurting you. And when I did realize it, it was too late.. you wanted nothing to do with me. You never let me explain, and .. I'm sorry, Chris. It was stupid of me.. I was so worried about you getting hurt physically, that it never.. occurred to me that I was hurting you emotionally." I smirked, instinctively. I suddenly found the entire situation humorous. Maybe I was really going crazy. I laughed out loud, ignoring the pain I was feeling inside.
"Well, aren't you a saint? What do you want now? A cookie? It's over and done with, Stephanie. Just forget about it, forget about us. Forget about me." I left her with that, as I walked back to my car. I went to open the door, when I felt her hands on my shoulders from behind.
"Wait, Chris, please don't leave. I can't forget about you. I am so sorry for hurting you, I didn't realize how bad it was. I was so scared, I made a really stupid mistake. Chris.. I still love you. I always have."
"God you're such a liar." I took out my keys and shuffled through them, looking for the one to my car. My hands were trembling. "The least you could do is be honest with me. You could do me the honor and at least give me that.."
"I'm not lying." She said softly, and I felt her hands on my back. I kept my eyes on my keys.
"It's getting late. Hunter might be worried." I said, my voice low and unsteady. I felt numb, and could feel a headache coming on. I finally found the key I was looking for, only to drop my keys. I frowned, but she turned me around before I could bend down to pick them up. I opened my mouth to protest, when she kissed me.
It was extremely awkward at first, but she tasted so sweet.. I thought I would never taste her kiss again. I kept telling myself to end it as soon as I could, but I couldn't. For once, I didn't hurt anymore. I reached up with my hands while I kissed her and accidentally tilted her shades. She immediately pulled away from me. It took a few seconds to register that she was no longer in my embrace, and I looked at her, confused.
"What was that, Stephanie?" I asked, bewildered as she turned away from me. I nodded slowly, understanding. "So you really are full of bullshit. You don't care about me, all you wanted was one last kiss. I was right. I'm some play thing to you." I sounded angry. I couldn't believe I let her do this to me again. She turned back to face me for the first time that night, and had I been completely sober, I would've reacted immediately.
Instead.. I just stood there, staring blankly at her. I finally snapped out of it, and asked a question that was very stupid, because it was extremely obvious. However, I felt the need to ask anyways.
"What the hell happened to your face?"
The elevator stopped and I stepped out, keeping my gaze low on the ground, and my hands in my pockets. Luckily for me, no one gave me a second look. I couldn't believe she had stood me up, again. That woman had some nerve.. right when I was actually ready to talk to her too. No matter, tonight I'd just go out for some drinks. I stepped out into the cool night and took a deep breath. What a wasted day.
I kicked a rock as I walked over to my car. Someone was bound to recognize me if I just stood around. Fans.. who needed them? I kicked another rock and in doing so, didn't see the person in front of me. We bumped into each other, and I was brought out of my daze. I took a step back and looked up angrily.
"Watch where you're going!" We both shouted at each other at the same time. My breath caught in my throat when I saw that it was none other than Stephanie who I had bumped into. Just my luck.. I shook it off and forced myself to breathe.
"Chris! I was just going upstairs to go see you.." She said, as she adjusted her sunglasses.
"Yeah, well I was just leaving, so if you'll excuse me.." I don't even know how I managed to get the words out, but I did. I stepped to the side and went to walk around her, when she stepped in front of me.
"We need to talk." She stated.
"I just spent practically the entire day waiting for you. It's too late, and I'm tired. And what's up with the shades? It's dark out." I said, shaking my head. I tried to go around her again, and again, she stopped me. I sighed heavily and looked up into the night sky. I couldn't look her in the eye.
"Chris, please. I got caught up with Hunter, I'm sorry. Please let me talk to you."
"Stephanie! I don't want to talk to you!" I said, my voice rising as I began to feel frustrated. "Leave me alone!"
"You know what? You either sit down and talk to me, or I will have you fired! We NEED to talk!"
"My ass you'll have me fired. You know good and damn well that you wouldn't do it. Now get out of my way." I said, in my best effort to stay calm. I went to try to step around her when she reached out and placed her hands on my chest.
"Please, Chris, just let me talk to you." She said, pleading with me. I looked down at her hands, ignoring the chills she gave me with her touch. I scowled and bit my lip, but didn't move her hands. Maybe I was enjoying the moment, I don't know.
"Please?"
".. fine." I said, reluctantly giving in. Oh, if only she knew the power she had over me. She truly had no idea. I slowly took a step back, away from her. "Where do you want to talk?" I said, looking down at the ground, as if there were some hidden answers there.
"Here." She answered. Was she insane?
"What if someone -"
"I don't care, Chris." She cut me off. "Let someone see us, I don't care. I just want to talk to you."
"Yeah? Well, I care. So we're not talking out here to air our dirty laundry for any assclown to see. If you don't like it, then leave." I spat out, bitterly, mentally trying to keep my temper in check. I walked around her and opened the driver-side door to my car, then got in. She walked around to the passenger side and went to open the door, but it was locked.
I sat and waited for her, knowing full-well that the door was locked.
"Open the door, Chris!" I heard her yell through the glass. I pretended I didn't hear her. I could sense her annoyance, so I hit the button to my left and unlocked the door. She got in and sat down next to me.
"Thanks." She said, sarcastically. I just shrugged and looked out of my window, studying the rear-view mirror of the car parked next to mine. Neither of us spoke. Minutes passed, and I have could cut the tension in the car with a knife.
"Well gorgeous, I really love sitting in silence with you, but I don't have all night." I said snidely.
"What's your problem, Chris? What the hell is the matter with you?" She suddenly asked. I glanced at her quickly, before looking straight ahead of me, shaking my head in disbelief.
"What's MY problem? What's yours? You go and do all this shit to me, and it's my fault? You act like a little.." I stopped and took a deep breath, before looking away. She was truly impossible.
"Like a little what, Chris? Come on, let it out. I know you want to."
"Fine. You're a total bitch to me, every day, all day, all the time. And yet, I'm the one with a problem, right? If that's the case, get the HELL out of my car, and don't ever let me see you again."
"See, this is your problem, Chris -"
"You're my problem, Stephanie. A big one at that."
"You haven't let me talk to you in ages! How the hell do you know what was going on, if you won't let me talk to you?"
"Big whoop." I mumbled, and we both fell silent. "How could you do that to me?" I asked, after a while. "How could you.."
"How could I what?" She asked, surprised. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"You don't even know? Do you even remember when we dated? Oh, we went out for a while, only to find out that you cheated on me, and that's just the beginning of the list. Do you want me to fucking continue, Stephanie?!" I shouted, and she touched me on my arm. I pulled away. "Don't touch me!"
"Chris.. you don't understand." She said, and I could hear her voice start to crack.
"Oh, I don't understand. You're damn right I don't understand. You lied to me, you cheated on me, and THEN.. you acted like none of it happened! Like I was just.. some play thing to you.. like I didn't matter.." I stopped, before I lost my composure. My chest felt tight.
"That's not true." She said, softly. "You always mattered to me."
"You have a really funny way of showing it, then." I muttered, as I closed my eyes. I still hadn't looked at her. I didn't want to.
"You did. I always cared about you.. those months when we were together were the best I've ever had with anyone. Chris, I loved you. Then, things changed.."
"Damn right things changed." I cut in. "You know what? I'm tired of this conversation. Get out of my car." I ordered.
"Chris, you're not even giving me a chance to explain!"
"EXPLAIN WHAT?!" I cried out, startling her. I turned around to look at her angrily, but my vision wasn't clear. It was blurred. I was so upset and pissed off at the same time, that I had tears in my eyes, but didn't notice. "EXPLAIN HOW YOU LIED?!"
"Chris.. please.."
"EXPLAIN WHY YOU HURT ME LIKE YOU DID? HUH? YOU THINK YOU CAN EXPLAIN THAT TO ME?!" I didn't even hear what she had said, I was so worked up. Here she was, the cause for all of my pain. And for reasons unknown to me, she was still the one that I loved.
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU!" She screamed back at me, before she broke down in tears.
"Yeah, cry, Steph. Because you're the one that's been hurt the most during all of this shit." I choked out as I looked out through my window again, to avoid seeing her cry, even if she did have shades on. I lowered my window to let some air in. "Go ahead and cry. You've made me do it enough times."
"Chris.. I'm sorry.."
"Whatever.." I was sitting about as far away from her as I could possibly be. I wanted to open the door and leave, but I couldn't. I just wanted this to be over with, so I'd never have to sit down with her again. I couldn't even look at her for that long..
She beat me to it. She opened the door and left me alone in the car. I looked over and saw her walking away. No, this wasn't how it was going to end. She was not going to get off that easily.
I got out of my car and slammed the door, then walked over behind her. I reached out and grabbed her arm, and spun her around to face me. She cried out in pain when I did.
"Oh no, you're not going to end it with that. You fucking OWE me a goddamn explanation!" I said, getting in her face. How I couldn't see the obvious was beyond me.. I personally think it was the beer I drank earlier. She yanked her arm out of my grip, and turned away from me. I could tell she was still crying.
"Why? You don't want to hear it anyways!" She shouted. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. This woman was driving me absolutely crazy.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? Sorry if I hurt you." I reached out and touched her shoulder, but she pulled away from my touch. That upset me, but I kept control. "I didn't even grab you that hard!"
"Chris.. it was a mistake. I went out for some drinks, and I ended up with Hunter for one night.. it was a mistake, I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't want to leave you."
"That didn't seem to stop you, since you did anyways." I said, having relatively calmed down.
"He threatened you, Chris. He said he wanted to be with me.. and if I said no, he'd hurt you. Chris, I didn't want you to get hurt." I could hear her crying, and it was tearing me apart.
"Yeah?" I asked, suddenly feeling very heavy. I took a look around the parking lot. No one was nearby. I sighed and reached out to her, but I caught myself in time. I put both of my hands in my pockets, instead. "If that was the case, you could have told me. The bastard doesn't scare me, Stephanie."
"But he scared ME!" She shouted, while she sobbed. "I didn't want you to get hurt.. so I figured that if I called it off, that you'd meet someone else that could make you happy.. I didn't KNOW at the time that you were a professional wrestler!"
"Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, Steph." I responded sullenly. "That's why you were such a bitch to me when I started out with your dad's company, am I right? You were so SURPRISED that you pretended like you never knew me? World of sense there, sweetheart." I added, sarcastically.
"Fine, you want me to tell you, then I will! I knew that you would remember what we had, and Hunter would go after you, because he would sure as hell pick up on it. I never told him who you were, but he always asked. And if you came in all of a sudden," She paused and took a deep breath. "Here you come, and you recognize me, he'd know it was you, Chris! He'd know it! I tried, I went out of my way to be the biggest bitch I could be to you, so you'd start to hate me.."
"So I'd leave you alone." I finished for her. I tried to walk around her, but she wouldn't let me face her. I shifted my weight uncomfortably.
"But that backfired, because you always wanted to run your mouth at me.. until he finally did hurt you."
"And weren't you the concerned one that night at the hospital." I mumbled, feeling the pain from that night creep back up through me. Suddenly, I didn't want to stand so close to her. I took a step back, reminding myself of that night that still haunted my dreams. That was the night she broke my heart.
"What are you talking about? I was with you the entire night, I was worried, and I felt guilty.." I could tell by her voice that she was close to me.
"Bullshit. Ms 'I never loved you anyways', right? That's what you said." I wished I had a beer.
"Chris, what are you talking about?" She said, surprised. "I was with you that night! I was worried, but I couldn't show that with Hunter there when he was hurting you! He would have KILLED you! So I went afterwards to see you, by myself. I got away from him, and stayed with you. I was worried SICK!"
"Funny, that's not how I remember it." I mumbled.
"YOU HAD A CONCUSSION! How the hell could you remember? You were totally out of it!"
I stayed quiet, not wanting to believe what she was telling me. All she's ever done is lie to me.. why would this be any different? I did have a concussion though. Maybe it wasn't a lie after all.
"Great, so if that's the case, I've been living a lie, is that what you're telling me?" I lowered my gaze to the ground and kicked a rock impatiently.
"I was just scared, Chris. I tried to alienate you, tried to get you to hate me, but I never realized how much I was hurting you. And when I did realize it, it was too late.. you wanted nothing to do with me. You never let me explain, and .. I'm sorry, Chris. It was stupid of me.. I was so worried about you getting hurt physically, that it never.. occurred to me that I was hurting you emotionally." I smirked, instinctively. I suddenly found the entire situation humorous. Maybe I was really going crazy. I laughed out loud, ignoring the pain I was feeling inside.
"Well, aren't you a saint? What do you want now? A cookie? It's over and done with, Stephanie. Just forget about it, forget about us. Forget about me." I left her with that, as I walked back to my car. I went to open the door, when I felt her hands on my shoulders from behind.
"Wait, Chris, please don't leave. I can't forget about you. I am so sorry for hurting you, I didn't realize how bad it was. I was so scared, I made a really stupid mistake. Chris.. I still love you. I always have."
"God you're such a liar." I took out my keys and shuffled through them, looking for the one to my car. My hands were trembling. "The least you could do is be honest with me. You could do me the honor and at least give me that.."
"I'm not lying." She said softly, and I felt her hands on my back. I kept my eyes on my keys.
"It's getting late. Hunter might be worried." I said, my voice low and unsteady. I felt numb, and could feel a headache coming on. I finally found the key I was looking for, only to drop my keys. I frowned, but she turned me around before I could bend down to pick them up. I opened my mouth to protest, when she kissed me.
It was extremely awkward at first, but she tasted so sweet.. I thought I would never taste her kiss again. I kept telling myself to end it as soon as I could, but I couldn't. For once, I didn't hurt anymore. I reached up with my hands while I kissed her and accidentally tilted her shades. She immediately pulled away from me. It took a few seconds to register that she was no longer in my embrace, and I looked at her, confused.
"What was that, Stephanie?" I asked, bewildered as she turned away from me. I nodded slowly, understanding. "So you really are full of bullshit. You don't care about me, all you wanted was one last kiss. I was right. I'm some play thing to you." I sounded angry. I couldn't believe I let her do this to me again. She turned back to face me for the first time that night, and had I been completely sober, I would've reacted immediately.
Instead.. I just stood there, staring blankly at her. I finally snapped out of it, and asked a question that was very stupid, because it was extremely obvious. However, I felt the need to ask anyways.
"What the hell happened to your face?"