OMG!! I'm so terribly sorry for the complete lack of updates… I've just been really busy and shit and didn't really have much time to think about the stories, let alone write more… but it's Saturday afternoon and I'm pumped up to write another story… erm… or more to this one :-D hehe… and to all those who were wondering… I have the outline for a sequel to Leaders Never Die written, so all I have to do it write it all out! Wowzers… I feel proud of myself… anyhoo, read on! And again I apologize for not updating sooner…

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Gothic Elf

Chapter 11

The group froze and stood in horror at the sight in front of them. Never before had they witnessed something more grotesque, more frightening… more flat out disgusting and disturbing….

"Why there you are Leggo-poo… I've been searching everywhere for you," said the old man as he batted his eyelashes at the elf.

"Oh my God…" Legolas groaned, as he tried to contain the food in his stomach from coming up in a repulsive heap. In front of them stood Gandalf, a very… revealing Gandalf. He stood there, with the flaps of his robe opened wide, exposing his old, wrinkly, and gray body in a dazzling white lingerie set. Complete with the male striptease thong and crop.  

Katana couldn't keep her disgust in and she threw up to the side of them, getting throw-up in her long hair. "Eww…." She moaned.

"Come to papa Greeny," Gandalf said seductively. "Or do you want to be a bad boy and make me spank you?" he said with a wink.

Legolas wheeled around in his tracks and fled as fast as his legs could carry him, he was followed closely by Sori, Katana, and Durian. They were about a quarter of a mile away before they noticed their missing comrade. "Where's Ryan?" Legolas wondered, as they stopped to catch their breath.

Durian looked around and noticed far off, the poor dark elf being carted away by Gandalf. He heard Gandalf muttering how he was going to put Ryan's tongue ring to good use. Durian shuddered at the thought of how Gandalf was going to manage that, "I fear that we have lost Ryan to the evils of the insane Gandalf."

"You're not going to go back for him?!" Katana shrieked. "You can't do that to him, we shouldn't leave any of our kind behind!"

"Are you that naive Katana?!" Durian screamed. "Do you want to put your life in danger for someone you never liked?"

Katana stood with a thoughtful expression on her face, "Nah," she said, "I guess not."

Sori looked up at the sky through the trees, "It's getting late, I suggest we find someplace to rest for the night."

"Right," Durian agreed. "I know the perfect place around here." He began walking towards the northwest. The others filed into a line behind the dark-elf.

Legolas was the last in line, Sori was walking in front of him. His male crudeness couldn't stop him from staring at Sori's ass through her leather pants as she walked in front of him. He was staring so intently that he didn't notice the rest of the group stopping in front of him, he kept on walking and staring and didn't notice that they had stopped until he ran flat into Sori's back.

Durian spoke up from the front, "Stop fucking around Legolas, we're going to rest here for the night. Unroll your packs and get comfortable, we aren't leaving until morning." He bent down and began gathering firewood, Katana joined him.

Sori coughed softly and turned around with an amused look on her face, "I really hope that's a gun in your pocket."

Legolas swallowed hard and could feel his face turn beat red, "I don't own a gun… hehe." He giggled. "I-I-It w-was… a stick!" He broke a branch off the tree next to him and showed it to Sori. The stupid smile on his face wasn't believable.

"Well… Mr. Legolas," she said with a quick glance downward towards his manly elf-hood, "watch where you're walking next time." She turned and started unrolling her bed.

"Did I mention that she's such a whore?" Katana whispered from behind Legolas.

Legolas got excited, "REALLY?!?! OMG… thank you God!... that's all I need right now to make myself feel better, tell me… how much does she charge?!" He demanded.

Katana raised her eyebrows, "She doesn't take money… only weapons. Why the hell do you think she has so many guns and knives? Ryan used to own an arsenal."

"So… her and Ryan?" Legolas wondered.

"Oh no… she hates his guts. She was probably the happiest one of us to see that he is gone now. She just looooooves his supply." Katana winked, and walked off.

Legolas sighed as Durian walked up to him. "Tell me, brother… how do you manage to travel with two beautiful dark-she-elves, and not do anything with them?"

"Well… Katana sucks really bad and Sori is a bit too aggressive for my taste. I have nasty markings on me from that one." He laughed and walked away.

"Fun times…" Legolas thought. He looked up and noticed the shimmering of the fire light reflecting off of something.

"Yo, Sori… what is that?" Legolas wondered.

Sori looked up and squinted her eyes, "What the hell…? Looks like metal."

"Yeah… that's what I thought too." Legolas said. He threw more branches and logs into the fire to make it brighter, they now had a clear view of what was sitting up in the tree.

An ugly dwarf sat up in the tree with the light of the fire reflecting off his shining armor. Gimli cleared his throat and started singing, "Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are… look at me, I'm a shining star. I am no dwarf. I am the light of a pretty star… Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky… ohhhhhh, diamonds….."

Legolas groaned and covered his face with his hands. "I've been scarred for life…"

TBC… honestly I swear!!!

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hey, sorry if you thought this chapter sucked ass… but what can I say… I tried after not doing it for a long time lol… that sounds bad, but I don't care… PLEASE R&R to let me know that you all haven't forgotten about me… :-D bye!