I am sorry that it took me forever to get this up. I've had a really bad case of writers block. Good news is, I think I've finally recovered.
I want to thank my wonderful betas for always getting back to me promptly. And my wonderful muse, who helps me get over the little bits of writers block, so I can write the next sentence.
And I want to thank everyone who faithfully reads this, and then leaves a quick review. I may not make a million dollars, I don't even make a thousand dollars. But you sure make me feel like a billion dollars when you leave a review. So thanks!
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The rain thoroughly soaked Sydney by the time she had arrived at the front door. The taxi had dropped her off at the end of the block, because Sydney couldn't remember what house number it was. She only knew what it looked like. What it smelled like. What it felt like.
Alexandra was in her bedroom when she heard the doorbell ring. Vaughn heard it from his study. He rubbed his forehead, and furrowed his brow. He wasn't in the mood to deal with any visitors. His headache had doubled in the past hour after getting home from work. And Alexandra wasn't helping any. She only wanted him to teach her Spanish all the time. He needed to grade exams from the week before that he had just kept putting off. His students weren't any help either. Rainy Fridays tended to do that to them. "I'll get it!" Alexandra yelled, jumping off her bed, and running to the door. Her eyes lit of surprise, as she saw who was standing at the door. Sydney quickly shushed her.
"Where's your father?" She asked, taking her daughter into a half hug. She kept her voice low to not alert Vaughn of her presence.
"Who is it Alexandra?" Vaughn's voice asked. Sydney shook her head, warning her daughter to keep her silence.
Alexandra nodded, and knew that Sydney wanted to surprise Vaughn. "The study." Alexandra answered her mother. "Where's your suitcase? I'll get it for you."
"I didn't bring one." Sydney quietly tip toed her way to the study.
"Alexandra, I said who is it?" Vaughn said, this time getting out of his seat.
The two collided at the study door. Neither said anything, as they just looked into each other's eyes.
"Hi." Sydney quietly whispered.
"Sydney." Vaughn breathlessly whispered.
They stood there for several minutes before Sydney broke the silence. "I need you to ask me again."
"Are you sure Sydney?" Sydney confidently nodded. Vaughn smiled getting down on one knee again. And like before, he gingerly took her hand. Their daughter was watching behind the corner, smiling, knowing what was happening. "Sydney Bristow Vaughn, will you marry me again?"
"I can not believe I was such an idiot and said no earlier. Yes. I will marry you." Sydney said.
"Are you sure this time?" Vaughn checked.
""Yes. I jumped on a plane without second-guessing myself until I was halfway over the Atlantic I was so sure. And the only reason why I second-guessed myself was because I left Juliana."
Vaughn got up from his knees, ready to kiss his wife, when a giggle emerged from the end of the hallway. Vaughn turned, and saw Alexandra standing there, half hidden. He motioned for her to join them. And then he scooped up Sydney and Alexandra in a large bear hug, causing both to laugh so hard that their sides burned.
"So, you like the idea of us getting married, do you Alexandra?" Vaughn asked.
"Oh yes. I really, really, really like it."
Sydney leaned over and got eye level with Alexandra. "So do I. So do I."
"Hey Alexandra, I need to talk to your mom for a little bit. Why don't you go do your homework or something." Vaughn instructed.
"I already did it."
"Then go watch some cartoons." Alexandra was all too happy to oblige, and Vaughn led Sydney into the bedroom, their bedroom. Vaughn then took a good look at Sydney. "You're soaked Syd!" He exclaimed, running into the adjoining bathroom. He came back and tossed a towel at her. Sydney took it and wrapped it around herself. "Why don't you change into some dry clothes?"
"I didn't bring any." She admitted. "I just sort of left."
"I think I still have some of your old clothes in a box in the closet." Vaughn got up and walked over to the closet, and dragged a moving box out of the closet floor. "This is the stuff that I refused to get rid of. I held on for years Sydney. I promise you that. I never gave up, which is why I still have this box."
"I know you didn't." Sydney moved and joined Vaughn on the floor. Together they opened the box. Sydney looked down at the neatly folded clothing.
"These used to be your favorite things. Or things that we just had a lot of memories behind." She picked up a brown sweater. She held it up, and stared at it. It was probably something she should know. But she couldn't remember. Vaughn looked over at Sydney just staring at the sweater. "That used to be your favorite sweater." He explained to her.
Sydney didn't know what came over her at that moment. She didn't know if it was the sheer exhaustion from her trip, or the excitement of being engaged. She couldn't tell if it was from the strain of remembering, or the cold feeling that accompanied the rain. But Sydney just broke down into tears, collapsing into Vaughn's waiting arms. He didn't say anything, as he just held her there on the bedroom floor. The only sounds came from Sydney's quiet sobs, and Alexandra's distant cartoons.
Sydney was feeling emotions that she hadn't felt in six years. She felt lost and confused again. When she first ran that night in Barcelona, Sydney looked for a place that was familiar. But Spain wasn't her home, Los Angles was. All those emotions were coming to her again. She didn't know where she was anymore. Sure, she was in the house that she and Vaughn bought after they got married. The only reason that she knew that was because Vaughn had told her. She was looking at her clothing that should feel familiar to her. That brown sweater should feel like the old favorite sweater that it was. It should bring the warm memories that were likely attached with it. Maybe she wore the sweater at a party where she and Vaughn danced the night away. But Sydney didn't feel a thing when she picked up the sweater. She only saw an old, worn sweater. These lost feelings weren't unfamiliar to Sydney. She had gone through this once before. But her old anchors weren't there. There was no Rosa. There was no Juliana. Sydney took Vaughn's arms and wrapped them tighter around her as a subconscious reminder that she had a new anchor now. She had Vaughn again. And somehow, she knew she was going to be safe.
Sydney fell asleep in Vaughn's arms. But he didn't seem to mind. Gently, he picked her up, and placed her on the bed. She barely stirred as she turned onto her side for more comfort. As if kissing a child, Vaughn leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Sydney's forehead before leaving.
"Where's Mommy?" Alexandra demanded upon seeing her father in the hallway.
"She's taking a nap. So you need to be extra careful not to wake her. Understand?"
"Yup."
"Good. I need to go to the store to get some stuff for you mom."
"Like what?" Alexandra asked.
"Well, we haven't needed to be well stocked with coffee ice cream in a while. That was definitely your mom's favorite… as well as a couple other things. Will you be ok here with your mom?"
"Yes Daddy."
"Good keep it down. Don't wake her unless…" Vaughn prompted Alexandra to finish his sentence.
"Unless there is a big, major emergency."
"Or?"
"Or what?"
"Or if Juliana calls. Mommy really needs to talk to her."
"Got it."
"I'll see you later Angel." Vaughn said before leaving.
Alexandra knew what she wanted to do now that her father was gone. Tenderly she crept into the bedroom, and gently climbed onto the bed.
Later, as Vaughn pulled into the driveway, he opened the garage door. He hoped that the low rumble that it made would not wake Sydney, but would alert Alexandra to his presence. As he opened the door, arms heavy with groceries, he expected to find Alexandra waiting for him at the door. Finding no child blocking his entrance, Vaughn went straight to the kitchen and began to put the cold things away. Then, quietly, he tiptoed into his bedroom. As softly as he could, he cracked the door. Peering in, he smiled at the sight before him. Sydney was still sound asleep, and Alexandra had curled up next to her mother, and had fallen fast asleep. Vaughn knew what he had to do.
"Alexandra, honey, wake up." Vaughn said, shaking his oldest daughter. "Come on, time to eat dinner."
"What?" She asked, not quite awake.
"I got a pizza while I was out. Come on, you need to eat."
Alexandra was reluctant to leave the bed. "What about Mommy?" She asked.
Vaughn contemplated waking Sydney up. But upon a second thought, decided it was wise to just let her sleep. "Let's let her rest. She's been traveling a long time."
The next morning the alarm clock rang shrilly, and Vaughn bolted up to shut it off before it woke Sydney. She was always more difficult to get up in the morning, but Sydney was probably getting close to fully rested. She hadn't woken up since she fell asleep in Vaughn's arms the evening before. The last thing that Vaughn wanted to do was wake such a beauty. After a quick shower, he ran to wake someone who was just like Sydney. Alexandra was just as difficult to get up in the morning, and just as beautiful. While Alexandra was getting dressed, and getting her homework together, Vaughn ran to the kitchen to get breakfast going, and to make Alexandra her lunch. Vaughn stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Sydney sitting at the table, sipping a cup of coffee. "How did you beat me here?" Vaughn asked, pouring himself a hot mug of coffee.
"I snuck out here while you were in the shower." She admitted. She took a sip of her coffee, and looked at Vaughn over the top of her mug. She smiled at his crystal blue simple work shirt, and a pair of simple khakis. "You used to wear suits all the time." She recalled. "Not that I remember, but pictures. The few you brought with you to Barcelona that you never showed me. I borrowed them while you were asleep one night."
Vaughn smiled. "Yeah. They were kinda required of us at work. But when I got fired, and started teaching, I was able to wear more casual stuff."
"I like casual you better." Sydney assessed. "You look more comfortable."
"It's better for work." Vaughn paused. Something new was on his mind, something that hadn't struck him until now. "You don't mind me going to work do you? I've already taken up all my sick days, and I need to keep my two cache ones in case I actually do get sick."
"Oh no. I don't mind."
"You'll be here all alone."
"I don't mind at all. I have a couple calls to make back home anyway." Sydney said. "If you don't mind me making several trans-Atlantic calls."
"No. Go ahead. Give Juliana my love when you call her."
"Will do."
Vaughn put down the sandwich he was making, and looked at Sydney. "Tell you what. I am going to call Jack and have him come see you. And then when Mia picks up Alexandra from school, I'll have her drop her off here right away."
"I don't know what to say." Sydney admitted. "I guess I'll start off with, who is Jack?"
"Your father."
"And Mia is?"
"Will's wife. She picks up Alexandra after school, and then takes Alexandra home with her. Leigh and Ally have a blast playing with Alexandra."
"Will is?"
"One of your best friends since college. The other is Francie."
"And Leigh and Ally?"
"Will and Mia's twin daughters. They're five. They are easy to tell apart once you get to know them. At first, it looks like you're seeing double. Leigh is actually her middle name. She was named after you. She's a little taller, with darker hair. Ally has dimples, and takes after her mother's darker skin."
Sydney buried her head in her hands. "I have so much to learn." She whined.
Vaughn smiled, and walked over to put his arm around his wife. "You'll learn it. I'll also call Weiss and see if we can get you in for some therapy Saturday. That way I can be there, and not have to miss work or anything."
"Ok." Sydney agreed, reaching for her mug again. Vaughn smiled, and knew that she would be ok. Alexandra came running into the kitchen, and gave her mother a big hug, spreading morning greetings. She took the glass of juice waiting for her, and sat down at the table waiting for her breakfast. As the little girl ate her breakfast, Vaughn conned Sydney into finishing Alexandra's lunch, which Sydney gladly did. Vaughn ran into the office to make a few calls.
"Sydney, your father has got some meetings for a couple hours this morning. He got back from Madagascar two nights ago. He said he could stop by around ten or so. Mia is going to drop Alexandra off here after school. She promised not to tell Will that you're here, until you're ready for it."
"Thanks."
"I'm coming home after school? I don't have to go over to Uncle Will's house?" Alexandra said.
"If you want to come home." Sydney offered. She didn't want to push the girl over the edge with something out of the ordinary. Not that Alexandra was teetering on the edge, or even close to the edge, but Sydney had watched Juliana try to strive for a little bit of normalcy in the week that Vaughn and Alexandra were there.
"Yeah!"
"Ok Angel. We need to get going, or we will be late." Vaughn said, grabbing their bags, and standing by the door.
"Bye Mom. I'll see you after school." Alexandra said, giving Sydney a large hug before putting her backpack on.
"Bye Syd. Make yourself at home." Vaughn offered.
"Bye guys. I love you." Sydney called before they drove off. Sydney meandered her way around the empty house. Bits and pieces of it felt familiar, but she got no clear memories from looking around. Sydney glanced at her watch and noticed the time. It was still set for Barcelona time. It was getting late. If she was going to call Juliana that day, now was her opportune time. Luis would still be getting ready for the night shift, so she wouldn't have to wake anyone to answer the phone. Sydney didn't have to look for the phone. She found it in the office, as if she knew that it would be in there all along. She quickly dialed home.
"Hola?" A surprised and confused Luis answered.
"*Luis, this is Sydney. Can you wake Juli for me?*" Although Luis said nothing, Sydney could picture him smiling, and running up the stairs to get her youngest daughter. A few moments later, a quiet, small, groggy voice picked up.
"Mamma?"
"*Hey Baby.*"
"*Mamma! Where are you?*"
"*I'm with Daddy and Alexandra. They both say hi, and that they love you.*"
"*Why couldn't I come with you?*"
"*You still have school.*"
"*So? You do too!*"
"*Honey, I quit my job.*"
"*Can I quit school?*"
"*No, if you quit school, how will you learn English?*"
"*You can teach me.*" Juliana was getting close to tears.
"*Juli, you coming now is out of the question.*"
Juliana began to cry. Her words became very incoherent. "*You- you- you're going to leave me here aren't you!*" She screamed.
"*Oh Baby, no! This is just a vacation for me. I will be back soon. I'm here to see what I can remember before we move. And I'm also going to help Daddy get you're bedroom ready. We're going to paint it, and get you a really great bed. What color do you want your room to be?*"
"*Purple.*" Juliana said, her tears vanishing. "*When are you coming home?*"
"*I don't know. Daddy got me some therapy for my memory on Saturday, so depending on how well that goes. But I promise, I'll be back before you even notice that I'm gone.*"
"*I notice that you're gone now!*"
Sydney sighed. "*That's not what I meant Juli, and you know it. I promise you I'll be home. I will never leave you forever. I love you too much.*"
"*I love you too Mommy.*"
Sydney smiled. But it quickly faded into fear as she heard the doorbell ring. She wasn't expecting anyone for another couple of hours. What if it was someone she used to know, but didn't remember anymore? Sydney just hated that she couldn't even remember her best friends from high school and college. "*Hold on a second Baby. I have to answer the door.*"
Slowly, she opened the door. The man stood with his back turned to the door, watching the activity on the street before him. When he heard the door open, he turned around. Sydney stared at the balding older man for a minute. His face looked familiar. The way he looked and stared at Sydney scared her, as if she had been stared at before. It was so cold that even hell could have frozen over. But when he said her name, his face turned from stone to one of pure love. "Sydney." Was all he said.
"You're my dad." She said, figuring it out.
"Yeah. I am." Jack said, stepping inside the house.
"Could you excuse me for a second, I need to finish this phone call really quick." She picked up the phone again, and put it to her ear. Juliana was on the other end screaming "Mamma?" As she impatiently waited for her mom to pick up again.
"*Juli, what is it?*" Sydney asked.
"*I'm tired.*"
"*I understand. I have to go ok? I will be home really soon. I promise.*"
"*Tomorrow.*"
"*Juli, we've already had this conversation. I can't come home tomorrow. Soon though.*"
"*Ok.*"
"*Be good for Tía and Tío Luis.*"
"*I will Mamma.*"
"*I know. I love you Baby.*"
"*I love you too Mamma.*"
"*I'll try to call you after school. And you can call here. Rosa has the number.*"
"*Yes Mamma.*"
"*Good girl. Bye.*"
"*Bye.*"
Sydney hung up the phone, and then turned her attention to her father who still stood in the doorway. "Come on in." Sydney said. She wanted to tag a 'Dad' at the end, but wasn't sure she would feel comfortable with that, or if he would feel comfortable with that.
"It has been a long time Sydney, hasn't it?" Jack said.
"I guess. I don't really remember much. And I'm afraid I don't really remember you at all."
"I can understand." There was an uneasy pause. "If you don't mind me asking, who were you speaking to on the phone?" Jack figured that it was the granddaughter that had been mentioned when he briefly spoke to his son-in-law on the phone.
"That was Juliana." Sydney said. "Did Michael tell you who she was?"
"Yeah actually he did. But he didn't tell me anything else, saying that you should be the one to tell me." Through awkward conversation, Sydney and her father talked for hours. She even braved the public and went to a nice lunch with him, as they talked about everything that had happened in the six years. Sydney told him all about Juliana, and told him of their upcoming plans to move back to LA.
Sydney and Jack had moved to the couch by the time Alexandra came home. The nine year old came running through the door, throwing her backpack onto the table. "Mom!" She called, running into the living room.
Three other figures came into the house as well, although they came quieter. Sydney went and greeted them. "Hi, you probably don't remember me." Mia said, holding her hand out for Sydney to shake. "I'm Mia Tippen."
"I'm afraid not." Sydney admitted. "I'm Sydney Vaughn."
"You're name is Sydney too? My name is Sydney, but everyone calls me Leigh." Leigh said, taking an instant liking to her namesake.
"Yup. I like your name Sydney." Sydney joked. She then turned to Leigh's twin. "And who are you?"
"Ally." She shyly answered.
"You have a really pretty name too." Ally smiled. "You won't tell your husband that I'm here will you?" Sydney said, turning to Mia. "I'm not sure if I can face friends that have known me since the dawn of time. I'm afraid that they will keep trying to see me as how I used to be. I want to sort things out before I meet with them again."
"I don't think it will be much of a problem with Will. I'll keep it a secret, and I'll make sure that these two will also keep their mouths closed." Mia promised.
"Hey Mom! Come look at what Grandpoppy brought me from Taipei and Madagascar!" Alexandra called from the living room.
"I better get going. Come on girls. It was nice to see you again Sydney."
"Nice to meet you Leigh. You too Ally. And it was nice to meet you again Mia." Sydney said.
Mia herded the twins to the waiting mini van, and Sydney returned to the living room. Upon entering the room, Sydney was immediately blinded by brightly colored fabric. She pulled the fabric away from her face and took a better look at it. It was a doll dress, obviously a traditional dress from some exotic country, although Sydney couldn't tell you which. "This is very beautiful."
"That one is from Madagascar." Alexandra placed another dress in Sydney's other hand. "This one is from Taipei. I like the one from Taipei better."
"They are both gorgeous. Do you have a doll these will fit?"
"Yep! Grandpoppy brought it back from France for me when I was five. And then every time he goes someplace, he brings me back a new dress for her. I'll go get it!" Alexandra raced out of the room.
"Those are really pretty dresses."
"I'm going to grab Juliana one when I'm in France next week. I can't spoil one granddaughter without spoiling the other." Jack said with a large smile spread across his lips.
"Oh, I'm sure Juli will love it." Sydney paused. "Are you ever in Barcelona?"
"I'm sorry, but rarely. Somehow Spain steers pretty clean of the whole intelligence business, so I don't get a chance to make it that direction often."
"Oh. Right. I was just wondering in case you ever wanted to stop by my apartment for a visit or something."
"I might be able to take some vacation time, and swing by Barcelona anyway." Jack offered.
"I'd like that."
Alexandra burst back into the living room, bearing a porcelain doll in her arms. "Her name is Susanna."
Jack didn't leave before Vaughn got home. In fact, he didn't leave until well after Alexandra had gone to bed. Sydney had two more days to herself. Each afternoon her father would stop by and spend time with both Sydney and Alexandra.
Like Vaughn had promised, he did arrange for Sydney to meet with Barnett on Saturday morning. Sydney didn't sleep much Friday night. She was worried about what she would uncover. There had to be a good reason why she forgot what she did. Maybe her life before six years ago had been too horrible for her to remember. Perhaps that night six years ago, when whatever it was that happened, was just the final straw and she just compartmentalized everything she knew. Before they left for the CIA, Sydney and Vaughn dropped Alexandra off with the Tippen's.
Thecar ride to the Joint Task Force was silent. Vaughn carefully parked the car in the familiar lot. Hand in hand, Sydney and Vaughn walked through the front door. The woman at the desk directed them to Weiss' office, where Eric had requested to see them before they headed to Barnett's office. "The prodigal spies have returned!" Eric greeted before they even knocked on the door. "So how does it feel to be back here?" Eric said, ushering them into his office. He picked up a yo-yo and sat on the corner of his desk.
"I can't remember how it felt before, so I couldn't tell you." Sydney admitted.
"Mike? Come on, I know you're dying to get back into action."
Vaughn smiled a little. "It is good to see the action going on. But they wouldn't rehire me in a million years, and there is no way that Sydney would let me come back."
"I don't remember how dangerous it is right now. So if you want to join up now, be my guest. But when I remember how bad this place is, you will be quitting." Sydney ordered.
"See?" Vaughn gestured towards his wife.
"That's great man. See, when Stephanie does that, I know she's serious. When you do it Syd, I can never tell."
"Stephanie would be…?"
"My fiancé." Eric proudly boasted.
"That's great! Congratulations." Sydney said. "When is the wedding?"
"November. You will be here by then, right? I'd hate for Mike to sit through another wedding, upset because the love of his life isn't there with him."
"Yeah. Juliana and I should be moved in sometime in August."
"Don't worry about me anymore man. Sydney and I are going to get married again."
"That's so great!" Weiss took off his yo-yo, and placed it back on his desk. "Ok, down to business. The reason why you're seeing me first is because I am to explain what's going to happen." He began to explain to Sydney the types of questions she would be asked, and the machines she would be hooked up to. Then Vaughn escorted her to Barnett's office. Along the way, people saw the Vaughn's and warmly greeted them. Sydney smiled politely, not having a clue who anyone was. Vaughn gave Sydney's hand one last squeeze before she entered Barnett's office to recover what was lost.
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