(AN: Well, yep! I redid the second chapter two! I feel so inspired, I thought I should fix up this previously old and bad fic and make it all prettily-funny for you! So I am! ^_^ ~*~Tams~*~

( ) = "Me" comments, again. )

Royal Blunders

Chapter Two: The World As We Know It Is Coming To An End


Zelgadis peered out of the red curtain they were hiding behind, and dropped it again. He was dressed in a tux, his wirey hair combed as much as possible by the royal hairdresser, but with little luck. There were still pieces of comb stuck here and there, but mostly concealed by liberal amounts of hairgel.

Gourry was sitting behind him in a poofy chair, staring absentmindedly at the ceiling, drumming his fingernails on the chair's arm. "Zel, do we have to wait? I'm hungry!" He looked at a bowl of wax fruit beside him, and his stomach let out a loud growl as he stared at it hopefully.

"You're always hungry," Zelgadis answered dully, still peering out of the curtain. He was searching for Amelia, but the large group of guards outside the curtain made that slightly impossible. He let out a plaintive sigh and leaned backwards in the squishy scarlet chair next to Gourry, who was slowly allowing himself to slip into deep-set statue mode as he gazed at the bowl.

"I wonder if the staff managed to tame Lina into a dress," remarked Zelgadis, his hands cupped around a mug of coffee. (Yes, even when he's about to become a member of Seyruun's Royalty, he drinks his coffee nonstop. *scoff*) "I wouldn't be even a little surprised if every one of them came out of it toasted."

"If they did, it's probably a skort," said Gourry, gazing sadly at the bowl of wax fruit, and wearing a hypnotized look as his fingers inched slowly towards the bowl. Zelgadis was about to both question the mention of a skort and stop Gourry from digesting something previously known as unedible when there was a rustling noise at the door, to which they both looked.

Lina stood in the doorway, not in her traveling apparel, but in a ball gown. She wore a gown of a pale, pearly lavender color that shimmered in the light creeping in from the curtain, and had gloves of the same color and silken, pearly material on, stretching to her elbows. A ring was on each middle and ring fingers, and the straps of the dress were slightly thick, just enough to almost hang off her shoulders. She wore a thin string of pearls across her bare neck, and earrings, also pearls, hung in place of her bulky sorceress' earrings.

The most surprising part, besides the whole dress bit, may have been her hair, which was not hanging wildly about her waist, but was twisted into a silken knot at the back of her head very elegantly. Someone had dabbed a bit of eye color on her eyelids to match, and although Lina's new attire was astounding, her expression was nothing except grumpy, with her crimson eyes narrowed.

Zelgadis suddenly realized he had dropped his coffee, and looked at his pants, soaking a stain into them. "Crap…"

"Well?" asked Lina, folding her arms and glaring irritably at both of them, as though daring them to say anything less than positive about her outfit, which no one could doubt that she was.

Gourry looked Lina up and down for a minute and concurred, "Hey have you seen Lina Inverse around?"

His question was answered, in the form of a hard fist crashing down on the top of his head. "I AM LINA, YOU BIG JELLYFISH-FOR-BRAINS!" she shrieked, loud enough to make the ballroom go silent. Zelgadis was still trying to wipe off the stain on his pants when an usher appeared at his side.

"Sirs and …" he took a brief glance at Lina whacking Gourry on the head, and cleared his throat, "And…Madame…You will now enter the ballroom in an elegant fashion to be Knighted." This announcement was accompanied by a questioning look at Lina before he turned on heel and swept through the curtain.

Lina stopped, leaving several bumps on Gourry's head. "Now?" She composed herself and pulled Gourry to his feet by yanking on his hair. "C'mon, Gourry! We can't sit down now!"

His response was a mumbled "Unnhh.." Lina glanced down at her hand and said something that was halfway Lina-like and halfway disturbing (being that this was Lina, anyway); "Damnit…I broke a nail."

In the Ballroom just outside the velvet curtain, the buzz of droning chatter was at its peak. Prince Philionel was seated at a modest throne, adorned with Seyruun's Royal seal, tapping his fingers lightly on the armrest as he waited for the arrival of the new lords and lady. He nodded quietly, a wide grin on his face, to the twitchy squire standing at his side. The squire shook his head in response and darted up the stairs, a small, scrawny lad of twelve, running to signal to the usher.

After the usher had responded that they were ready, the young squire staggered to a prompt position, inhaling deeply.

"May I present," he began in a clear voice that was surprising, coming from such a scrawny kid, "Miss Lina Inverse, Mister Gourry Gabriev, and Mister Zelgadis Graywords." He stepped aside with a surprisingly well-balanced flourish and retreated to the side hall. The crowd gasped at the sight of the three afore-mentioned.

With Gourry at her left, and Zelgadis on her right, Lina made her way down the stairs as elegantly and composedly as she possibly could, which was considerably hard, considering the height of her new heels. She was an almost astounding sight in her ball gown, and looking quite the contrary to what the regular palace snobs were used to seeing every now and then when she popped in for a visit. A great number of the young lords and dukes watched her scale the steps with intense interest, whispering attentively to each other. With the two dashing-looking nobles-to-be flanking her right and left, Lina felt very significant indeed, displaying her satisfaction with her head held high and her newfound elegance flaunted.

Gourry received a similar reaction from the young women in the royal audience; the debutantes, ladies-in-waiting, and princesses from other various counties were twittering quietly to each other and flashing Gourry flirtatious smiles and secretive glances from behind their fans. He perceived this as normal behavior for Royal women, and luckily didn't wave back as he concentrated on not tripping over his feet in this crinkled new outfit they'd fixed him up in.

Zelgadis was his usual rigid self, trapped in a room full of the people most likely to judge him at first sight, or at least, in his opinion. The last thing he'd expected was to end up in their presence—permanently, or at least until this knighthood thing had reached its limit….if it had one. He walked stiffly down the steps, staring straight ahead as he tried to avoid the darting eyes of royalty, his fingers twitching slightly, as though aching to pull up his hood that was currently in absentia from his neck. He needn't have wanted that; the very same mob of women was eyeing him eagerly, attracted to the curious-looking visage of this mysterious man.

When all of them had reached the bottom, Phil, unsheathing a thin but polished, silver-hilted sword, walked forward to greet them, and the four of them bowed, Lina somewhat quickly, Zelgadis somewhat jauntily, and Gourry in his usually blundering way, though there was nothing less than an adoring sigh from the ladies-in-waiting. As Zelgadis brought himself back up, he caught a glimpse of Amelia's happy face, and she waved excitedly to him, but then the glimpse was cut off by Phil's bulky shoulders rising up again.

"Kneel, Lina, Gourry, Zelgadis," commanded Phil solemnly. Zelgadis and Gourry sat on bended knee while Lina settled on both of her knees, her skirt spread out elegantly on the floor. Each Slayer bended their head in respectful reverie as Phil raised the silver blade to just above Lina's shoulder.

"I, Prince Philoniel el di Seyruun, do hereby proclaim Lina Inverse, Zelgadis Graywords, and Gourry Gabriev to be knighted and commended into the Royal Court of Seyruun." He tapped both of Lina's shoulder lightly with the blade as he said the oath, and Lina remained still, her concentration focused on the silence.

"Arise, Lady Lina Inverse." A round of modest but somehow deafening clapping (Maybe this was because of the large gathering of people in the Ballroom) followed shortly after this, including some whistles lost in the din of applause. Lina arose to face Phil, curtsying quickly, as though her reputation would be dimmed, should she act formal for so long, and hurried behind the two men, her hands cupped in the folds of her dress.

Phil was now facing Gourry. "Kneel Gourry Gabriev…" he said in the same focused but gentle voice, and Gourry did so, again in his own blundering fashion, but managed to stay on one knee. Another sequence of the blade tapping, and Gourry stood jauntily, as Phil announced, "Arise, Sir Gourry Gabriev." More sighs from the ladies erupted, and Gourry walked over to Lina, looking proud of himself.

Zelgadis was last, and knelt before the prince. He felt the blade touch his shoulder briefly and looked up. "Arise, Sir Zelgadis Graywords." The ballroom erupted into a frenzy of sighs (from the ladies), whistles (from the men), and polite clapping (from the elder residents of the Court who couldn't really bother to care), as the three of them bowed to Phil.

Immediately, Lina and Gourry were shuffled off to the side, where they were promptly introduced to nearly every lady-in-waiting and duke or lord there was in the Ballroom. Zelgadis, meanwhile, had escaped the rush to try and find the only person he could really talk to at this dance; Amelia. He managed to make it over to the throne, where'd he'd last seen her, and as he looked around, he heard her voice behind him. "Zelgadis-san, over here!" He turned around to see her.

Amelia was stunning. She was donned in a shimmering pink gown that fit her shape as though she were born to wear it. It wasn't tight, but fit her waist snugly and spread out to a flowing, sparkling wave of what looked lie tiny diamonds. The straps were slightly thick, but not too much, and hung elegantly below her shoulders, like Lina's, and she wore a gold chain with glittering emeralds, rubies, diamonds, and sapphires hanging from it. Her earrings matched the necklace, and a tiara, made of gold and small, but stunning diamonds was perched atop her head. Her hair had been expertly styled into a pile of twisted curls behind the tiara, and her eyes shone as brightly as any of her jewels.

She waved her gloved hand frantically to catch his attention (as if that was really needed at that point.) and hustled over to where he stood, his feet rooted to the ground, and she clasped his hands together, standing up on her tiptoes. "Zelgadis-san," she began, "You look wonderful! See, I told you you'd look nice in a tux! Don't you think?"

Zelgadis blinked, recovering, and then shifting subconsciously into his natural, cross-armed, indifferent position. "I guess so."

Amelia giggled lightheartedly. "Zelgadis-san, you need to give yourself more credit sometimes. Now, come on, I'll show you how to dance!"

Zelgadis blinked. "What?" He looked around quickly, as though Lina or Gourry could come up at that second to save him from any possible predicament, but (and this surprised him) they were already out on the dance floor, waltzing away as though it were no trouble at all. (Although it did look slightly unsettled; Lina was poking Gourry in the chest and chastising him for stepping on her feet.)

He looked back at Amelia, eagerly nodding her head.

"Dance! I know you'll be taught how to dance later on, but wouldn't you feel better if I showed you first?" Amelia's expression was earnest, and Zelgadis couldn't help but cave at her unblinking gaze.

"Fine…" he said slowly. "Lead the way." An unsettling feeling of doom (a.k.a. utter embarrassment) made his stomach drop as Amelia grabbed his arm and led him out to the middle of the dance floor.

As they stopped on the emblem etched into the marble floor, Amelia pulled both of his hands upwards. "This is informal dancing. You just keep both of your hands up. I—" She rested one arm on his shoulder and clasped his right hand with the other—" Do this. Now, we're all set, okay?"

Zelgadis nodded quickly. "Uh, sure."

"Good! Now, try back and forth, sort of fast, but not too fast." She began moving in time to the music, watching Zelgadis' feet. He was watching his own feet carefully, moving awkwardly and off-balance. Amelia giggled quietly and stopped him.

"Here, watch me for a second." She took a step back and began moving back and forth again to show him clearly. He watched blankly. How did she make it look so easy?

She twirled around to face him, her dress swishing quietly around her feet. She threw out her hands. "See? It's very simple, Zelgadis-san! Now, you try with me!" She took hold of his hands once again and stood in place, waiting for him to begin.

He murmured under his breath for a second, staring at his feet, until he swallowed hard, straightened up, and began to dance as Amelia had. Back and forth until he was able to move side to side without tripping, slowly but surely. His mouth began to crease upwards, showing a remnant of a smile. He was just the tiniest bit proud of himself when he managed to whirl Amelia around without any faults.

Amelia clapped as the waltz music began to fade into the background of friendly chatter. "You did it, Zelgadis-san! You did perfectly, I knew you would, once you had a little direction!" She folded her hands and smiled up at him. "Would you like to try a faster dance? I think you're good enough."

Zelgadis managed to capture a look of surprise, indifference, and contentment at the same time, as he took her hands once again.. "Sure." His smile widened even more. But just a little.



(Okay, it's redone and not so cliché! Yay! I can not feel guilty now!! ^____^

I'll be making sure RB is totally pretty and nice-looking for you. By that, I mean words in italics and bold print and labeling, and all that spiffy stuff we like in a good fic.

Also, there will be song quotes at the top of each chapter to fit the setting starting with chapter four…because I'd like something to show the mood of the chapter, because it gets deeper and the characters' feelings are examined. Just so you know. ^^ ~*~Tams~*~)