(AN: Okay, okay, fine, I know what you're all thinking—what in L-Sama's name took you so long to update?! Well, I have four reasons: One, I am a lazy arse. Two, because I only update when I get really inspired, which I currently am, so I'm going to put that to good use. Three, because people, I noticed, have been asking for some L/G. And we all know I'll do anything to appease your wishes. *sarcasm drip* When I'm not lazy, anyway. And four, because if I don't, D.S. is going to threaten me with a nameless blackmail that scares the livin' crap out of me. Especially since she discovered that new caffeinated-to-the-core drink that gets her more hyper than Mountain Dew Code Red and Surge put together, god knows how scary that could be…
D.S.: GET ON WITH THE FIC, DAMN IT!!
Ah, right, anyway. ^.^; Enjoy, oh loyally patient readers! By the way, if you're wondering, this is the day after the, erm, wine-drinking incident. *wink wink* )
Royal Blunders
Chapter Seven: When Life Gives You Lemons, Talk To Gourry
"All I think about is waiting
and the people
we are changing into
There was a sound
but I don't know how it goes
There was something
we went through,
blew in from the coast
You said,
you are of the earth,
I am of the sky
I don't even know what the hell that means "
~ Farther, Third Eye Blind
Lina was, to put it bluntly, bored.
It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the mounds of food being laden on her each day, oh no—who wouldn't be able to appreciate that? No, that portion of royalty was a divine little piece of heaven for her, even more so than when Amelia paid for all her meals at restaurants, because palace food was basically six-star quality.
Was it because she was learning things she'd never imagined could even matter to a normal human being, such as, a lady should never frolic around at social gatherings in anything that could even remotely be considered pants, because only something that resembled a skirt was acceptable, and, added to that, the fact that nearly every maid, servant, or worker of higher class was constantly reminding her of that every chance that they got?
No. It wasn't even that reason.
It was merely the fact that she hadn't been able to use any type of magic in nearly a month.
This was a draining process. When Lina Inverse couldn't use magic, Lina Inverse got bored and even a little weak, sometimes. She'd noticed that when she tried picking up a bucket full of water that one of the servants had left lying carelessly around the grounds, she'd left a couple of calluses on her palms. Even not running around in her usual fashion due to high heels was slowly making her into a delicate girl.
The lack of physical prowess and absence of magic left her feeling bored, tired, and impatient. Magic was a part of Lina that couldn't go unnoticed. It was as much a part of her as her arms or legs, and not using it drained her a little.
Not to mention the fact that nothing had been blown up, burned, broken, or permanently made into charcoal by the Dra-matta for a month—a new record. All of that added up to a very irritable Lina.
She was reflecting on the dilemma one day when she finally grasped a bit of time to herself. (Note that Sir Recburg had been practically stalking her, most likely to point out her many societal faults.) Lina sat in her room, wearing a white, corset-like day dress and laying on her bed with her hands behind her head. That was when there was a knock at the door.
"Lina? Are you decent?"
The bandit killer rolled her eyes. "Don't be stupid, Gourry, of course I'm decent."
The door opened and Gourry poked his blonde head in, wearing a tentative look. "Well, yeah, but I thought that if I came in and you were naked, you might throw something at me. Not that there's much to see."
He had a split second to wear a dopey grin that clearly conveyed that he had no idea what he just said, until Line launched her shoe at him.
"You don't say that to girls, you idiot!" Now she was sitting up on her bed, wearing an even grumpier face than before as Gourry stood up straight, massaging the lump on his forehead and coming over to pull a chair from the vanity.
"Well, I was just making sure you wouldn't hurt me, even though you did anyway…." He sat with his arms resting on the back of the chair, giving Lina a curious look. "I just wanted to know how you're doing."
Lina raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "Why do you need to ask? I'm fine. I always have been," she said with an edgy tone, giving Gourry a sideways look to see if he believed her. She wasn't surprised when he shook his head to say he didn't.
"Nope, that won't work, Lina, you've been moping around for a while. I can tell. I know these things." He held his head up high.
Lina had to laugh at that one. "You? Gourry, you didn't even notice you had salad dressing all over your face that one night," she snorted. "How can you tell what people are feeling?" She chuckled again.
Gourry glanced at her, looking strangely serious. "I may not know a lot of things, Lina, but I know when you're down. And right now, you're so down you're…." He stopped to scratch his head and look heavenward, searching for a good phrase. "You're.…um….you're…." He shrugged. "You're so down, you're in China!"
He was answered by receiving yet another lump on his forehead. Lina brought her fist back down and rubbed it. "Don't try to be smart, it doesn't suit you! And it's gonna give you a headache, if you're not careful." When Gourry came back up from the floor, he watched her massage her knuckles.
"What's wrong with your hand?"
Lina stopped immediately. "Nothing, it's just…I haven't hit you for at least a week."
Gourry pointed a finger at her in a good imitation of the Justice Finger ™. "You see?? There IS something wrong with you!"
Lina gave him a dangerous glare that clearly said, 'I'm going to hurt you', so Gourry scooted his chair backward before continuing. " C'mon, Lina, I don't care if you admit you're not feeling well." He glanced at her, cocking his head in an attempt of puppy eyes, but ended up looking foolish.
However, it must have worked in some weird way, because Lina heaved a great sigh and folded her arms across her chest. "Fine….I guess you know I haven't been myself lately, or something like that."
Gourry nodded attentively. Lina continued. "It's.…well, you know, we've been here for a month, and all we've been doing is sitting here and primping ourselves up and that damn Recburg is always on my case…."
Soon, Lina was laying out her entire dilemma to the last person she expected to get advice from; Jellyfish-For-Brains Gourry, who listened incredibly well for his usual dimwitted self. When she finished, he was looking heavenward again, seeming, to Lina, that he might be having his very first intelligent thought.
"Well, Lina.…you should go see a shrink!"
Ah, how wrong she was.
Poor Gourry, already laden with bruises, tumbled backwards after being socked in the jaw by an indignant Lina. " YOU STUPID JELLYFISH BRAINS! I just told you my depressing story and you tell me to visit a shrink?! What is the matter with you?!" She sat there steaming, and not bothering to resist the temptation to throw her other shoe, which she did.
Gourry scrambled back onto his chair with difficulty, as there was a shoe stuck to his face. "I'm sorry, Lina!" he said, his voice muffled until he pulled the shoe off, leaving the shoe's imprint on his face. "But I guess since he's out of town on business, I should tell you what I think."
"Gee, are you sure you're capable of that?" answered Lina sourly, narrowing her crimson eyes at him, but Gourry didn't seem to notice. He leaned his head on the back of the chair and was silent for a minute.
"I think you're homesick. Well, not homesick, since you don't really have a home, but you're.…um…..roadsick! Yeah, that's it! Roadsick!" He held his head up in pride, grinning broadly.
Lina just blinked. "I don't follow."
Gourry gave her a blank look, as if it were difficult to explain all of that again. He ran his fingers through his blonde mane and looked at her. "Well, we've been out on the road for about three years, or something, right?"
Lina nodded mutely, surprised that he could even remember how many years he'd known her.
"Well, yeah.…I guess when you're out on the road for that long, you get used to it. You've been traveling and running around and Fireballing and Dragon Slaving things for so long that you're not used to being pampered like this. You need to be adventuring to be yourself, Lina." He half-smiled at her. "You need to be the Bandit Killer again."
Lina, struck by his simple but knowledgeable advice, stared at him for a second, before giving him a rare, genuine smile. "....Thanks, Gourry. I think you're right."
Gourry nodded encouragingly. "Yeah, especially because the Pink Frilly Puffball doesn't have as much of a ring to it, does it?"
WHAM! For the third time, another bruise was applied to Gourry's growing collection of bodily injuries from Lina's foot landing on his already boot-imprinted face. "Itai…." murmured the poor swordsman from the jumbled heap on the floor.
"DO NOT…." breathed Lina heavily, casting a dark look at him as a vein popped out of her temple, "CALL ME….THE PINK—" ---she stomped on his foot—"FRILLY—" –she stepped on his stomache ("Oof!")—"PUFFBALL," she finished by lifting him up by his hair and tossing him aside.
She stood there, looming creepily over poor Gourry, who was by now nearly crippled but managed to pull himself up onto the chair again, grinning weakly at Lina. "Well, Lina….I did help you better than a shrink, right?"
"Yes. I'll give you that much," said Lina shortly, not hinting to the slight admiration she was holding for him. "I'll have to talk to Amelia about it and see what she'll say…when she wakes up from her hangover anyway."
She was wearing an expression that was hard for Gourry to read, but Lina knew—something between that slight admiration and something else….she suddenly felt inspired to do something about it, and before Gourry knew what happened, Lina had kissed him swiftly on the mouth before dashing out the door with a hurried, "Thanks!"
Stunned, Gourry lightly touched his mouth before standing up and dusting himself off. Something about that kiss made him feel so good that be bent over and began cleaning the mess in Lina's room, with a little smile on his face.
(*sigh* Well, I hope you liked that! Was it in character enough? I hope it was…tell me honestly. And by the way, I deleted some of my old stories I'm not finishing, but don't worry, there's still plenty. ^_^ Ja ne! ~*~Tams~*~)