A/N: I'm about to die of shock...this fic reached over 200 reviews. I love you reviewers so! To think that my way of summarizing episodes would become popular! I'm glad you guys like it! Here's your update! Oh, and Otogi is in this one. I call him "Duke" temporarily because I started this as a summary for the English translation. Sorry to his fangirls. But I'll have to call Malik... "Marik"....so we're even.
DAY TWENTY FOUR:
How threatening is this name: "The Big 5"? That's what Kaiba's top henchmen are called. The same ones who stuffed him in a video game. It took me a while to catch on that the "Big Five" are individual semi-important people working for KaibaCorp, not some guy with a big hand.
Anyway, here's my team in this virtual world: Yugi, Me, Joey, and Mokuba.
Pen is seriously running out of ink. ...Pen dying...getting faint...must remember...to...recap...
DAY TWENTY SIX:
Have a brand-new blue-ink pen! Pulled off the tag, though, and is sticking to my fingers. Blech.
Settled for sticking it to Joey's forehead. Stupid mortal is trying to get it off of *his* fingers now. Good luck, I say, sarcastically. Not out loud of course, because Yugi would be mad.
Right. Here's what happened to Kaiba:
We went searching for him in a nice little town. Of course, everyone there was dueling like there was no tomorrow. Found out that Kaiba had been taken to a castle across an 'uncrossable' desert, and the only way (which made it crossable) was to get a Niwatori. Joey dressed up like a pig and dueled some lady in a butterfly mask. Turned out it was Mai, just so you know.
So, Mai joined our little group, but unfortunately since we weren't out on a life raft in the middle of the ocean, I couldn't ditch someone in exchange for her. Oh well. One more idiot in a band of Yugi's followers didn't do much damage to me. Much.
So we got Niwatori cards, summoned them (they're chickens on steroids, so Yugi said, to me) and rode them across the desert. Should have had these back in Egypt. Camels are slow and they stink. Niwatori tend to smell of turkey dinner. Mmm...
Then we met Princess Adena who looked just like Mokuba. (Here's what I don't understand. Kaiba made this game. He *designed* the characters. Why did he make his brother a girl? Is he confused? Does he think Mokuba is a girl?) Anyway, we made fun of Mokuba a lot. Until Joey was forced to dress up like a caveman when the rest of us were dressed up like knights. Then I made fun of Joey. Inwardly, of course.
Then the princess was captured. (Well, not really. Mokuba was. He got a little caught up in playing in Adena's wardrobe room; somehow ended up in the princess's clothes.) Then we were short another Kaiba brother. Which was too bad...he was starting to grow on me. At which point Yugi said that Mokuba hadn't *died* and I could stop being angry because we were still going to rescue both Kaibas.
Packed up my determination and went off in search of Seto. Blah! I called him *SETO*! Hah! He'd be so mad if he knew. Joey and Mai hit the dirt; as in, they were defeated when we did find Kaiba and went up against the Mythic Dragon. This left it all up to me...and Kaiba. We won. Yippee. Went home after that. Bought the pen.
Would it have killed Kaiba to show a little gratitude? Just a little? He'd better repay me. Virtual Reality bites. I mean, even back before there were *manners* the cave people probably still had common courtesy. Even the animals do. I saw the dolphins on the Discovery Channel.
Anyway, got lots of compliments on my clothes today. Or rather, *Yugi* did. By lots of girls who we kept running into, since it's a weekend. Yes, I *told* him girls liked him. I was right, but ignored, as usual.
Okay. Here's why I'm gloating. I dressed 'us' today and he didn't like it until a few heads turned and started showering him with praise. THEN he was all "Thanks, Yami", "Great choice, Yami", "Where did this come from, Yami?", "Did you steal this, Yami?", "Tell me who you stole this from, Yami!".
I *didn't* steal, but I kind of figured it would be worse to tell him I'd made his eye-catching new accessories out of his father's old things. Even if he was getting positive attention for it. So I played dumb about the whole 'thievery' issue. I almost had him believing there *were* no thieves in Ancient Egypt, until he asked Ryou Bakura.
Then I got in trouble. So, we went home with no cotton candy (the stuff's almost as amazing as how it's made!)
DAY TWENTY SEVEN:
Found Grandpa all upset. He's usually acting spry, kind of dorky even though you can tell he thinks he's being cool. Won't listen to me when I tell him not to do things, so he gets hurt, has his soul stolen, or just looks stupid.
He was all mad about some guy across the street opening a new game shop. They were selling a new game that the Turtle Game Shop doesn't carry. (I *told* you, he's running a monopoly here! It's...it's evil! And limiting!) 'Dungeon Dice Monsters'. *I* wanted to try it. Yugi wanted to be loyal to Grandpa. As I promised after trying to kill Kaiba, I backed off and let him have his way. Someday that promise will get me into *real* trouble.
Went to school and ran into the owner of the new shop! I was excited; Yugi got into an argument with him. He's grown a lot of backbone. Or maybe his backbone has just attached to his mouth since I came along. Either way, Joey somehow got it into his head that he ought to challenge this guy to Duel Monsters. If Joey won, the guy would close down his shop. If 'Otogi' or "Duke" or whatever his name is won, then...I don't know. Wasn't listening. Got distracted by the size of this dueling ring he has in his shop.
Never, ever going to buy from Grandpa again; someone needs to stop the monopolizing, and "Duke" is just the guy to do it.
His arrogance rivals Kaiba's! He's got...he's got *cheerleaders!* Then again, so do I. Well...I have cheerleader. Singular. She calls herself 'Tea'. She's not a very good cheerleader, but Yugi has a crush on her, so she'll do. I'd prefer dancing Kuriboh, personally.
The duel was broadcast, live, around the world. That should have been a warning, but no. Joey went ahead with the match anyway.
At first, Joey was winning. He used a Sword Hunter to get rid of "Duke"'s Oni Tank 234 in the first turn; it also powered up Joey's card. Not a bad move.
"Duke" put a card face down and summoned Dark Bat, in defense mode. So
Joey played a Swordhorn Beast which does Life Point damage even when the
monster in defense mode. Was vaguely impressed, for a while. Then he took out
the Dark Bat, but "Duke"'s trap card destroyed the Sword Hunter as well.
"Duke"'s next monster destroyed the Swordhorn Beast and he put more
cards down. Joey played the Goblin Attack Team (2300/100), to kill off "Duke"'s
Monster but then went into defense mode.
"Duke" played a 1200/800 monster, and doubled its attack with Limit
Remover. Finally, "Duke" revealed the Meteor Crush card, which, he said, is "like a
magic card version of the Swordhorn Beast." Meaning the monster equipped with it
can damage LP when attacking defense monsters too. He attacked the Goblin
Attack Team and won the duel.
So what did Joey have to do? Aside from be torn down on live, worldwide,
Jumbo Screen TV? He had to be a slave. And wear a dog costume. Was tempted
to pull of "Duke"'s mask, since I suspected it was Kaiba underneath, but Yugi
wouldn't let me.
Instead he challenged "Duke". (That guy really seems to get to Yugi. Wonder what that means?) Duke said that he'd only play Dungeon Dice Monsters (yippee!) And if he won, I'd never, ever, for as long as I lived, play Duel Monsters again. Am dead, so I accepted. Then it registered that he'd said if I lost, I'd also have to give up my title as Game King. Felt angry and regretful then.
Room turned into a board. Heck, everything in it was. Bored, I mean. Or maybe that was just me. I've seen scary, freaky, unbelievable things in the Shadow Realm; Duke's crappy technology no longer does anything for me.
Felt slightly more insignificant and singled-out when I learned we have 3 "Heart Points" instead of 2000 Life Points. (Where did he get "heart points" from? That guy plays up too much to his cheerleaders.)
We have to build a path with our monsters; get to the other players frilly "heart points" and hack away like a drunken chain-saw murderer. Oh, and...did I mention this? Because "Duke" sure didn't: We have to match up two dice in order to make the path.
Stupid...man. Knows I'll win and won't tell me how to play. Cheater. I'm going to banish him for this.
I must look bored or frustrated. Duke is telling me a story.
...He worked with Pegasus. To make this game. Pegasus Boy. Yes. Much better; 'Duke' is a Western title of nobility. Henceforth he'll be known in *my* diary as "PB".
HEY! He took a heart point! That's it. I'm putting down this book and getting back to business.