A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews! I know that some people aren't
big fans of my Marissa right now, but keep reading! I'm trying hard to
show that everyone makes mistakes, even in fanfic. This story was planned
as a 25-chapter piece, though I think it may end up being 26 chapters.
Thanks to all who reviewed - I'm learning a lot and the comments will
really help for story #2!
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Time always moved quickly in Newport - Ryan recalled the blur that had encompassed Thanksgiving, Chrismukah and New Year's Eve. Now that school had started again, the days seemed to slip by faster than ever.
Wednesday at school was difficult. He'd passed Marissa in the hallway, talking with a redhead he didn't recognize. He did, however, remember her forced smile, the one she wore when she was really hurting inside. As they'd brushed by each other, their eyes had met for a moment and her face had relaxed. He knew from past experience that a good number of people found it easier to push people away with anger and cruelty than to admit that they were suffering themselves. Even though he recognized that Marissa wasn't the girl for him, he still cared for her, and found himself worrying despite himself.
He'd asked Anna to the school dance at Summer's urging, and something about the way Anna had agreed sparked a new hope inside him. Maybe it was because she was so much like Seth, but Ryan felt at ease around her. She also possessed a calmness that Seth lacked, and Ryan enjoyed the steadiness of her character.
Thursday was more of the same - Ryan was reveling in the comfort of a routine. He had breakfast with Seth, Summer and Anna, then class, lunch with the group, more class, and soccer practice. Some might have called it boring, but Ryan found it fascinating - the lack of drama and problems gave him an opportunity to examine his own life, instead of constantly worrying about someone else. And as much as he hated to admit it, he liked being selfish.
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Seth fidgeted nervously as he waited for Summer to answer her door. It was Thursday night, and they were going to an awards ceremony. Summer had sworn him to secrecy - he wasn't sure what the ceremony was even about - maybe something for her father, who was flying back into town from London that evening. He rubbed his fingers together and rang the doorbell again. He had to tell her about the literary magazine, he realized. He was just so scared that she would be angry. At least the publication would be anonymous, he told himself.
The door swung open. Summer looked. well, great, as usual, but completely different.
Her dark hair was pulled back into a loose bun. She was wearing a white blouse with a fitted argyle sweater pulled on over it. The fitted, black, knee-length pencil skirt hugged her curves. She pulled on her left shoe, a heeled mary-jane style, and grabbed a black portfolio, tucking the case under her arm.
"Ready?" She took in the look on his face and self-consciously tugged at the sweater. "I know, it's different, I-"
"You look so sexy," Seth murmured, sliding in close to her. "Like a naughty librarian."
"Seth Cohen!" Summer poked him squarely in the chest and closed the front door to her house before heading to the Range Rover.
"I'm serious!" Seth exclaimed as he started the ignition. "One of my all- time favorite fantasies."
"Oh, really?" Summer purred back at him. She opened the portfolio and pulled something out of the inside pocket. She turned to face him. When he saw her, the car swerved a little.
"Oh god, glasses." Seth couldn't believe that this was his girlfriend. The cat's-eye glasses magnified Summer's chocolate eyes. The glasses, combined with the outfit that just hinted at the body underneath, were enough to drive him absolutely crazy.
"You need to stop!" Seth laughed. "I'm serious, take those off or we'll never make it to the ceremony." He paused. "What is this ceremony, anyway? Is it a sexy library convention? Because, you know, I could really get into that."
"You'll see, sugar." Summer smiled and gazed out the car window, propping her feet up on the dash and stretching out her legs.
"Alright, can't look at you anymore - bad for driving." Seth concentrated on the road. "Also bad for the construction of coherent sentences."
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The front of the Sebastian Institute was lit with tiny white lights. As Seth and Summer walked into the building, he noted that they were the youngest people there by about thirty years. He whispered in her ear as they were shown to their table near the front of the room. "Summer, why are we here?"
She ignored him and settled into their seat. A couple in their 60s sat across from them, and a single chair at the table was empty. That's odd - Seth noticed that all the other tables had six chairs.
"Welcome to the annual Sebastian Institute gala!" Summer turned at the sound of Dr. Hawkins' and smiled. "As you know, the Sebastian Institute hosts a gala each year to celebrate the finest achievement in the academic world." The crowd clapped at the statement. "This year, I am honored to introduce one of the finest young minds I have ever encountered. The 2004 winner of the Sebastian Fellowship is destined for greatness in the field of economics. With a groundbreaking project, an analysis of formulas of risk and the effect on investment possibilities, this year's winner's work is already being utilized by Barrett Financial. Here to explain her project and plans for the future, please welcome Miss Summer Roberts."
Summer stood and made her way to the podium. She glanced back at Seth, who was watching with an expression of total awe and love. Her gaze fell to the single chair at their table that was still empty. She pushed her disappointment back in her mind and began to speak.
"My interest in economics began early in life." Summer looked out at the crowd, scanning the room for his face. "I suppose that there aren't many six-year-olds who asked to be read Adam Smith and John Nash as bedtime stories. But I think now that any subject can be made interesting if it's clear that the teacher has a passion for the subject." She looked down at her notes. "And I was lucky to have my father, a former Sebastian Fellowship winner, as my teacher." She took a breath.
"I stumbled upon my thesis by searching for answers within my own life. I have always felt that the formulas of risk, so gracefully designed into equations within economics, have a direct correlation to human behavior. By applying this psychology to a logical formula and deviating a practical application, I have found that, in investments, one can always gauge the most rational path."
Summer looked out at the crowd again, summoning the strength to look one more time. He wasn't there. She looked at Seth again, keeping eye contact with him as she concluded.
"The financial world is a place where rationality is rewarded. But even with the proper analysis of risk, it is always vital that we remember what cannot be deviated from formulas. By listening to our hearts and retaining a connection to our gut instinct, we will not only make the right choice - we will make the best one."
She paused and gave a small smile. "Thank you."
The crowd applauded enthusiastically. Summer watched Seth's face, a wide grin across his features as he stood to applaud her. As she looked around the room while she strode into his arms, she tried to think about everything she had in her life, how lucky she was. Seth's arms slid around her and she closed her eyes.
"Summer." A deep familiar voice gave her goosebumps as she turned slowly. Her lips trembled and all of her self-restraint vanished as warm tears trickled down her face. Her father awkwardly embraced her. "I'm sorry I'm late."
"That's ok, it's fine, it's fine." Summer repeated the phrase. "I'm just glad you're here now."
Her father stepped back to study her at arms length. "You're all grown up." Sadness tinged his voice, and Summer understood that she and her father were more alike than she'd ever thought. He was running too, afraid to show his faults, scared of getting hurt again after her mother. She swallowed and introduced Seth to her father. The two shook hands and exchanged formalities.
Seth looked at Summer. She continued to amaze him. She looked so happy right then, her father by her side - her skin positively radiated bliss.
"Seth, I know that you escorted my daughter here tonight," Mr. Roberts spoke formally, "but I'd like to take her out for a daddy-daughter dessert."
"Like when I was little?" Summer smiled hopefully.
"Ice cream sundae, extra fudge, no cherry." Mr. Roberts remembered. Summer smiled.
"Do you mind?" Summer turned to Seth.
"'Course not," he replied.
The three made their way out of the gala. Summer waved to Seth from the window of her father's sedan as he pulled out of the driveway. It wasn't until he was halfway home that he remembered that he'd never warned her about the literary magazine.
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Anna shifted in her chair at the country club. She hated coming here for dinner. Her parents were extraordinarily boring and seemed desperate to suck up to everyone at the club. The only redeeming thing about being dragged to the club was the incredibly good French fries that accompanied her $22 hamburger.
When Julie Cooper approached their table to chat with Mrs. Stern about the Havana Heaven fundraiser for literary awareness, Anna made an excuse to leave the table. She headed towards the ladies restroom, always a good hideaway at the club.
She pushed open the door quietly and was surprised to hear the sound of someone crying in one of the stalls. "Hello?" she said timidly. "Are you ok?"
The door to the stall swung open, and Marissa's tear-stained face greeted her. She was slouched against one of the walls. Anna stepped in and sat down next to her. "Are you ok?"
"Anna." Marissa sniffled. "I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting towards you. I've just been horrible to everyone, you and Summer and Ryan." A few more tears trickled down her face. "I just feel so lost here; I don't belong anymore. You know," Marissa sat up and began tearing the tissue she held in her hands, "when I was away at rehab, that's the first time I really felt like myself. But coming back here - I don't know who I'm supposed to be. I'm two different daughters - one for my mom, one for my dad. I'm have two kinds of friendships - the real one with Summer, and the fake ones with people like Candace. And being with Ryan was just too much."
Marissa stood. "I know that you like him." She bit down on the inside of cheek. "Just make him happy, ok?" Anna looked up at Marissa. "Make him feel the way that I never could." Marissa hurried out of the bathroom, leaving Anna standing in the middle of the floor, completely dumbstruck.
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Time always moved quickly in Newport - Ryan recalled the blur that had encompassed Thanksgiving, Chrismukah and New Year's Eve. Now that school had started again, the days seemed to slip by faster than ever.
Wednesday at school was difficult. He'd passed Marissa in the hallway, talking with a redhead he didn't recognize. He did, however, remember her forced smile, the one she wore when she was really hurting inside. As they'd brushed by each other, their eyes had met for a moment and her face had relaxed. He knew from past experience that a good number of people found it easier to push people away with anger and cruelty than to admit that they were suffering themselves. Even though he recognized that Marissa wasn't the girl for him, he still cared for her, and found himself worrying despite himself.
He'd asked Anna to the school dance at Summer's urging, and something about the way Anna had agreed sparked a new hope inside him. Maybe it was because she was so much like Seth, but Ryan felt at ease around her. She also possessed a calmness that Seth lacked, and Ryan enjoyed the steadiness of her character.
Thursday was more of the same - Ryan was reveling in the comfort of a routine. He had breakfast with Seth, Summer and Anna, then class, lunch with the group, more class, and soccer practice. Some might have called it boring, but Ryan found it fascinating - the lack of drama and problems gave him an opportunity to examine his own life, instead of constantly worrying about someone else. And as much as he hated to admit it, he liked being selfish.
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Seth fidgeted nervously as he waited for Summer to answer her door. It was Thursday night, and they were going to an awards ceremony. Summer had sworn him to secrecy - he wasn't sure what the ceremony was even about - maybe something for her father, who was flying back into town from London that evening. He rubbed his fingers together and rang the doorbell again. He had to tell her about the literary magazine, he realized. He was just so scared that she would be angry. At least the publication would be anonymous, he told himself.
The door swung open. Summer looked. well, great, as usual, but completely different.
Her dark hair was pulled back into a loose bun. She was wearing a white blouse with a fitted argyle sweater pulled on over it. The fitted, black, knee-length pencil skirt hugged her curves. She pulled on her left shoe, a heeled mary-jane style, and grabbed a black portfolio, tucking the case under her arm.
"Ready?" She took in the look on his face and self-consciously tugged at the sweater. "I know, it's different, I-"
"You look so sexy," Seth murmured, sliding in close to her. "Like a naughty librarian."
"Seth Cohen!" Summer poked him squarely in the chest and closed the front door to her house before heading to the Range Rover.
"I'm serious!" Seth exclaimed as he started the ignition. "One of my all- time favorite fantasies."
"Oh, really?" Summer purred back at him. She opened the portfolio and pulled something out of the inside pocket. She turned to face him. When he saw her, the car swerved a little.
"Oh god, glasses." Seth couldn't believe that this was his girlfriend. The cat's-eye glasses magnified Summer's chocolate eyes. The glasses, combined with the outfit that just hinted at the body underneath, were enough to drive him absolutely crazy.
"You need to stop!" Seth laughed. "I'm serious, take those off or we'll never make it to the ceremony." He paused. "What is this ceremony, anyway? Is it a sexy library convention? Because, you know, I could really get into that."
"You'll see, sugar." Summer smiled and gazed out the car window, propping her feet up on the dash and stretching out her legs.
"Alright, can't look at you anymore - bad for driving." Seth concentrated on the road. "Also bad for the construction of coherent sentences."
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The front of the Sebastian Institute was lit with tiny white lights. As Seth and Summer walked into the building, he noted that they were the youngest people there by about thirty years. He whispered in her ear as they were shown to their table near the front of the room. "Summer, why are we here?"
She ignored him and settled into their seat. A couple in their 60s sat across from them, and a single chair at the table was empty. That's odd - Seth noticed that all the other tables had six chairs.
"Welcome to the annual Sebastian Institute gala!" Summer turned at the sound of Dr. Hawkins' and smiled. "As you know, the Sebastian Institute hosts a gala each year to celebrate the finest achievement in the academic world." The crowd clapped at the statement. "This year, I am honored to introduce one of the finest young minds I have ever encountered. The 2004 winner of the Sebastian Fellowship is destined for greatness in the field of economics. With a groundbreaking project, an analysis of formulas of risk and the effect on investment possibilities, this year's winner's work is already being utilized by Barrett Financial. Here to explain her project and plans for the future, please welcome Miss Summer Roberts."
Summer stood and made her way to the podium. She glanced back at Seth, who was watching with an expression of total awe and love. Her gaze fell to the single chair at their table that was still empty. She pushed her disappointment back in her mind and began to speak.
"My interest in economics began early in life." Summer looked out at the crowd, scanning the room for his face. "I suppose that there aren't many six-year-olds who asked to be read Adam Smith and John Nash as bedtime stories. But I think now that any subject can be made interesting if it's clear that the teacher has a passion for the subject." She looked down at her notes. "And I was lucky to have my father, a former Sebastian Fellowship winner, as my teacher." She took a breath.
"I stumbled upon my thesis by searching for answers within my own life. I have always felt that the formulas of risk, so gracefully designed into equations within economics, have a direct correlation to human behavior. By applying this psychology to a logical formula and deviating a practical application, I have found that, in investments, one can always gauge the most rational path."
Summer looked out at the crowd again, summoning the strength to look one more time. He wasn't there. She looked at Seth again, keeping eye contact with him as she concluded.
"The financial world is a place where rationality is rewarded. But even with the proper analysis of risk, it is always vital that we remember what cannot be deviated from formulas. By listening to our hearts and retaining a connection to our gut instinct, we will not only make the right choice - we will make the best one."
She paused and gave a small smile. "Thank you."
The crowd applauded enthusiastically. Summer watched Seth's face, a wide grin across his features as he stood to applaud her. As she looked around the room while she strode into his arms, she tried to think about everything she had in her life, how lucky she was. Seth's arms slid around her and she closed her eyes.
"Summer." A deep familiar voice gave her goosebumps as she turned slowly. Her lips trembled and all of her self-restraint vanished as warm tears trickled down her face. Her father awkwardly embraced her. "I'm sorry I'm late."
"That's ok, it's fine, it's fine." Summer repeated the phrase. "I'm just glad you're here now."
Her father stepped back to study her at arms length. "You're all grown up." Sadness tinged his voice, and Summer understood that she and her father were more alike than she'd ever thought. He was running too, afraid to show his faults, scared of getting hurt again after her mother. She swallowed and introduced Seth to her father. The two shook hands and exchanged formalities.
Seth looked at Summer. She continued to amaze him. She looked so happy right then, her father by her side - her skin positively radiated bliss.
"Seth, I know that you escorted my daughter here tonight," Mr. Roberts spoke formally, "but I'd like to take her out for a daddy-daughter dessert."
"Like when I was little?" Summer smiled hopefully.
"Ice cream sundae, extra fudge, no cherry." Mr. Roberts remembered. Summer smiled.
"Do you mind?" Summer turned to Seth.
"'Course not," he replied.
The three made their way out of the gala. Summer waved to Seth from the window of her father's sedan as he pulled out of the driveway. It wasn't until he was halfway home that he remembered that he'd never warned her about the literary magazine.
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Anna shifted in her chair at the country club. She hated coming here for dinner. Her parents were extraordinarily boring and seemed desperate to suck up to everyone at the club. The only redeeming thing about being dragged to the club was the incredibly good French fries that accompanied her $22 hamburger.
When Julie Cooper approached their table to chat with Mrs. Stern about the Havana Heaven fundraiser for literary awareness, Anna made an excuse to leave the table. She headed towards the ladies restroom, always a good hideaway at the club.
She pushed open the door quietly and was surprised to hear the sound of someone crying in one of the stalls. "Hello?" she said timidly. "Are you ok?"
The door to the stall swung open, and Marissa's tear-stained face greeted her. She was slouched against one of the walls. Anna stepped in and sat down next to her. "Are you ok?"
"Anna." Marissa sniffled. "I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting towards you. I've just been horrible to everyone, you and Summer and Ryan." A few more tears trickled down her face. "I just feel so lost here; I don't belong anymore. You know," Marissa sat up and began tearing the tissue she held in her hands, "when I was away at rehab, that's the first time I really felt like myself. But coming back here - I don't know who I'm supposed to be. I'm two different daughters - one for my mom, one for my dad. I'm have two kinds of friendships - the real one with Summer, and the fake ones with people like Candace. And being with Ryan was just too much."
Marissa stood. "I know that you like him." She bit down on the inside of cheek. "Just make him happy, ok?" Anna looked up at Marissa. "Make him feel the way that I never could." Marissa hurried out of the bathroom, leaving Anna standing in the middle of the floor, completely dumbstruck.