Blessed are my reviewers, who are angels in my eyes. Only Rachel is an angel carrying a pitchfork and dashing after Clear with it. And note to Kylah, the rules of death are - once it's skipped you, it goes to the next person. You're gonna be FINE.
PART 5
EXT. BEACH - NIGHT
Alex sits facing away from the camera, not looking at the sky, but looking down, shoulders shaking as if crying. We hear a faint moaning.
INSERT - ALEX'S POV - Ms. Lewton's photo is surrounded by candles.
CLEAR(o.s.): I thought you'd be here.
Alex JUMPS up, he didn't see her there. He stumbles, and we can see his FLY IS OPEN.
ALEX: Clear! Never walk in on a grieving man!
Clear looks at Alex unsurely.
CLEAR: Please wash your hands.
Alex, defeated goes over to the water and splashes some on his hands. He rubs them and approaches Clear.
ALEX: What are you hear to talk about?
Clear sighs.
CLEAR: I wanna know who's next.
Alex looks at her coldly. He chews a thumbnail.
ALEX: Rachel.
CUT TO: INT. CARTER'S CAR
The car is parked somewhere near the bush. The five gal pals sit on in the car, with Carter, Billy, and Tod, pacing around boredly outside. Rachel takes a large triangular guitar pic from Kylah, a lighter from Tina, and flicks the lighter.
Fwoosh! The pic lights afire, crackles, and sparks. Rachel blows it out. Except for one corner, it is charred, but more crisp and solid than gooey and melty.
BREE: I told you. Guitar pics don't melt.
RACHEL: Don't I feel special?
Billy taps on the window.
BILLY(sound slightly muted by the glass): Can I come in? It's cold and there are angry birds after me!
KYLAH: You brought it on yourself!
BILLY: How?
Kylah, shrugging, opens up the door and hits the capped boy RIGHT IN THE CROTCH! He groans and falls to the ground.
KYLAH: By not being prepared.
She SLAMS the door shut.
RACHEL: Okay, Bree, truth or dare.
BREE: Truth. I never pick Dare.
RACHEL: How far have you gone?
BREE: Well, in Band Camp, I was bored, so I took my French Horn and...
RACHEL: You didn't let me finish. How far have you gone same-sex-wise?
Bree hesitates.
BREE: When I was nine my friend kissed me because I got her a Spice Girls CD.
The others groan.
BREE: Kylah. Truth or dare.
KYLAH: Truth.
BREE: What's the most serious abmision you have?
KYLAH: The MOST serious? Uh... to own a Cheese Curd factory in Japan and call it Umi Izumi's Curds.
BREE: O... kay... moving on.
KYLAH: Jackie. Truth or dare?
JACKIE: Dare.
KYLAH: This is gonna be fun... climb the tallest tree in the forrest and flash the boys!
Jackie gulps. She turns around and looks out the window at a TEETERING spruce tree that twists and twirls in the wind. Horribly suspensful and scary music plays.
JACKIE(suddenly bright): Looks fun!
They exit the car. 'Cannonball' by The Breeders plays.
Tina and Kylah suddenly stop, interrupting the music. Tina peers towards the screen.
TINA: What the FUCK are you doing?
PAN AROUND - TINA'S POV - CARTER, BILLY, AND TOD are dressed in yellow hula skirts with (yay!) no shirts, wearing tiki jewelery and giant wooden masks on their backs. Billy holds a decorated staff. Carter tears into Tod like Oprah on a baked ham.
CARTER: It's step step trust hit, not step thrust step hit! Are you TRYING to piss off the volcano?(he graps Tod by the necklace)You don't DESERVE to be the human sacrifice!
TINA: Put him down!
Carter smiles, as if realizing Tina FOR THE FIRST TIME. He puts his arm around Tod.
CARTER: We were just talking, weren't we, George?
TOD: It's Tod.
CARTER: Whatever.
The music commenses again.
Jackie slowly begins scaling the tree.
INSERT - JACKIE'S POV - RACHEL stands on the ground and flashes her a grin and a thumbs up.
Jackie climbs about halfway up before starting to pant. She swings herself up on a branch.
JACKIE: Okay, I'll make base camp and try for the summit tomorrow.
RACHEL: HEY! Don't make me come up there!
JACKIE: Like to see ya try!
CARTER: TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!
KYLAH: Carter, you are such an asshole.
CARTER: And?
RACHEL(to Carter): And you're an insensetive moron who would deserve to die if only you weren't so beautiful!
BILLY: Guys...
A semi comes CRASHING into Billy's bike. A big slow-motion 'NOOOOO!' is drawn out from Clear, who runs towards Rachel.
CLEAR: RAAAAA-CHELLLLL!
She swoops to Rachel's side and pushes her away just as the BICYCLE TIRE flies overhead.
Return to normal speed: Clear lies on top of Rachel. They breathe heavilly and scared for a few seconds.
RACHEL: Please roll off me.
Clear rolls away. Rachel looks at Clear disgusted.
RACHEL: You beaver! What were you thinking!
CLEAR: Oh, be thankfull you biggot! I just saved you from a bloody bloody death!
BREE: Uhhhh... guys?
RACHEL&CLEAR: What?
BREE: Maybe someone should do something about that.
Upon 'that' she points to the ground, where Carter lay headless and bloody on the ground. A sharp piece of the bike tire lies on the ground next to him.
ALEX: Oh, fuck, what now?
TOD: Oh, I phoned the cops to come scrape up Carter's body two seconds ago. Alex, you, uh, might wanna make the break to Mexico.
ALEX: Damn!
He hops onto a scooter (don't ask ME where it came from!) and rides off.
CLEAR: Oh, dear God, Carter wasn't supposed to die!
KYLAH: Believe me, it was his time.
They look behind them to see a police car approaching with it's lights on.
TINA: What efficient police services!
We cannot see the car, just the faces of our heros. We can hear the door of the car open and close, and Rachel's jaw drops to the floor.
Standing in front of them is none other than Officer Irriating.
Rachel snaps out of her shocked state and puts her hands over her ears.
RACHEL: I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die...
THOMAS: I understand you're upset about your friend, but we have to do the honorable thing and... scrape him up with a shovel, put him in a garbage bag, and feed him to some angry bears.
BREE: What about his family?
THOMAS(snickers): They think his body's being donated to science!
JACKIE(o.s.): HELLLLOOOOOOOO? MR. LANDES?????? I'D LIKE TO GET DOWN NOW!
Officer Irritating looks up to see Jackie in the tree.
THOMAS: DON'T WORRY! WE'LL BRING IN THE CHERRY PICKER!
JACKIE: THANK YOU MICHAEL!
THOMAS: Michael?
CUT TO: Same scene, sightly later. Officer Irritating is in a Cherry Picker which rises to the top of the tree, Jackie holds on to the tree tightly.
RACHEL: Enough of this shit.
She opens the door of the cherry picker and RELEASES THE PARKING BREAK.
CLOSE IN - OFFICER IRRITATING'S COMICALLY TERRIFIED FACE as the cherry picker goes ROLLING DOWN the road, through several trees, and finally, into the water.
Shots of everyone's faces. They are shocked, scared, and mostly in negative spirits. Except for Rachel, who does a little dance.
RACHEL: I killed someone! Yes!
KYLAH(sarcastic): Brilliant! First you kill Kerr Smith now Michael Landes! And we've got Jackie stuck in a tree, Devon Sawa's run off to Mexico, and Seann William Scott is still in danger! We are stuck in this movie world! You wanna know what I think? You want the truth? You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! 'Cause when you stick your hand into a pile of goo, THAT WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND'S FACE! FORGET IT, RACHEL! IT'S CHINATOWN!
CLEAR: Okay, Kylah, we've all had our share of Iced Cappucinos. Let's just get to my dad's cabin before we cause anymore trouble.
They all begin walking down the road.
JACKIE: HELLO?
She is answered only by the sound of crickets chirping.
JACKIE: SOMEBODY?
An owl hoots in the night.
JACKIE: Mr. Owl? Little help?
The owl gets up and flies away.
JACKIE: Shit...
She hears a cracking in the tree. INSERT SHOT: The tree's trunk is beginning to crack just under Jackie.
JACKIE: Well that can't be good.
CUT TO: INT. CLEAR'S CABIN - NIGHT
The guys/girls, minus Tina, sit in cozy cozy armchairs sipping nice hot cocoa. A fire crackles in the fireplace. Everything is cheery. Kylah plays a guitar and sings the Juicy Fruit song.
TOD: Woah. Things rock now that Carter's dead.
Tina comes out of an inside door, possibly a bathroom, and looks at the cocoa, the fire, and the guitar.
TINA: You idiots!
The music stops. They look incredibly guilty.
TINA: You call this practical?
They avoid her gaze.
TINA: You guys don't know the first thing about teen movies!
CUT TO: SAME SCENE - LATER
Billy sits on the couch and twirls a Twister wheel. It stops on...
BILLY: Right hand yellow!
Rachel, burried in a heap of people on top of a twister board, reaches out her hand onto a yellow pad. Everyone laughs joyously.
Jackie BURSTS through the door, disgruntled and dirty, bruised and scratched from her fall. She grabs Rachel by the collar and calmly, yet hoarsly states...
JACKIE: I am going to kick... your... aaaaaasssssssssss.
PART 5
EXT. BEACH - NIGHT
Alex sits facing away from the camera, not looking at the sky, but looking down, shoulders shaking as if crying. We hear a faint moaning.
INSERT - ALEX'S POV - Ms. Lewton's photo is surrounded by candles.
CLEAR(o.s.): I thought you'd be here.
Alex JUMPS up, he didn't see her there. He stumbles, and we can see his FLY IS OPEN.
ALEX: Clear! Never walk in on a grieving man!
Clear looks at Alex unsurely.
CLEAR: Please wash your hands.
Alex, defeated goes over to the water and splashes some on his hands. He rubs them and approaches Clear.
ALEX: What are you hear to talk about?
Clear sighs.
CLEAR: I wanna know who's next.
Alex looks at her coldly. He chews a thumbnail.
ALEX: Rachel.
CUT TO: INT. CARTER'S CAR
The car is parked somewhere near the bush. The five gal pals sit on in the car, with Carter, Billy, and Tod, pacing around boredly outside. Rachel takes a large triangular guitar pic from Kylah, a lighter from Tina, and flicks the lighter.
Fwoosh! The pic lights afire, crackles, and sparks. Rachel blows it out. Except for one corner, it is charred, but more crisp and solid than gooey and melty.
BREE: I told you. Guitar pics don't melt.
RACHEL: Don't I feel special?
Billy taps on the window.
BILLY(sound slightly muted by the glass): Can I come in? It's cold and there are angry birds after me!
KYLAH: You brought it on yourself!
BILLY: How?
Kylah, shrugging, opens up the door and hits the capped boy RIGHT IN THE CROTCH! He groans and falls to the ground.
KYLAH: By not being prepared.
She SLAMS the door shut.
RACHEL: Okay, Bree, truth or dare.
BREE: Truth. I never pick Dare.
RACHEL: How far have you gone?
BREE: Well, in Band Camp, I was bored, so I took my French Horn and...
RACHEL: You didn't let me finish. How far have you gone same-sex-wise?
Bree hesitates.
BREE: When I was nine my friend kissed me because I got her a Spice Girls CD.
The others groan.
BREE: Kylah. Truth or dare.
KYLAH: Truth.
BREE: What's the most serious abmision you have?
KYLAH: The MOST serious? Uh... to own a Cheese Curd factory in Japan and call it Umi Izumi's Curds.
BREE: O... kay... moving on.
KYLAH: Jackie. Truth or dare?
JACKIE: Dare.
KYLAH: This is gonna be fun... climb the tallest tree in the forrest and flash the boys!
Jackie gulps. She turns around and looks out the window at a TEETERING spruce tree that twists and twirls in the wind. Horribly suspensful and scary music plays.
JACKIE(suddenly bright): Looks fun!
They exit the car. 'Cannonball' by The Breeders plays.
Tina and Kylah suddenly stop, interrupting the music. Tina peers towards the screen.
TINA: What the FUCK are you doing?
PAN AROUND - TINA'S POV - CARTER, BILLY, AND TOD are dressed in yellow hula skirts with (yay!) no shirts, wearing tiki jewelery and giant wooden masks on their backs. Billy holds a decorated staff. Carter tears into Tod like Oprah on a baked ham.
CARTER: It's step step trust hit, not step thrust step hit! Are you TRYING to piss off the volcano?(he graps Tod by the necklace)You don't DESERVE to be the human sacrifice!
TINA: Put him down!
Carter smiles, as if realizing Tina FOR THE FIRST TIME. He puts his arm around Tod.
CARTER: We were just talking, weren't we, George?
TOD: It's Tod.
CARTER: Whatever.
The music commenses again.
Jackie slowly begins scaling the tree.
INSERT - JACKIE'S POV - RACHEL stands on the ground and flashes her a grin and a thumbs up.
Jackie climbs about halfway up before starting to pant. She swings herself up on a branch.
JACKIE: Okay, I'll make base camp and try for the summit tomorrow.
RACHEL: HEY! Don't make me come up there!
JACKIE: Like to see ya try!
CARTER: TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!
KYLAH: Carter, you are such an asshole.
CARTER: And?
RACHEL(to Carter): And you're an insensetive moron who would deserve to die if only you weren't so beautiful!
BILLY: Guys...
A semi comes CRASHING into Billy's bike. A big slow-motion 'NOOOOO!' is drawn out from Clear, who runs towards Rachel.
CLEAR: RAAAAA-CHELLLLL!
She swoops to Rachel's side and pushes her away just as the BICYCLE TIRE flies overhead.
Return to normal speed: Clear lies on top of Rachel. They breathe heavilly and scared for a few seconds.
RACHEL: Please roll off me.
Clear rolls away. Rachel looks at Clear disgusted.
RACHEL: You beaver! What were you thinking!
CLEAR: Oh, be thankfull you biggot! I just saved you from a bloody bloody death!
BREE: Uhhhh... guys?
RACHEL&CLEAR: What?
BREE: Maybe someone should do something about that.
Upon 'that' she points to the ground, where Carter lay headless and bloody on the ground. A sharp piece of the bike tire lies on the ground next to him.
ALEX: Oh, fuck, what now?
TOD: Oh, I phoned the cops to come scrape up Carter's body two seconds ago. Alex, you, uh, might wanna make the break to Mexico.
ALEX: Damn!
He hops onto a scooter (don't ask ME where it came from!) and rides off.
CLEAR: Oh, dear God, Carter wasn't supposed to die!
KYLAH: Believe me, it was his time.
They look behind them to see a police car approaching with it's lights on.
TINA: What efficient police services!
We cannot see the car, just the faces of our heros. We can hear the door of the car open and close, and Rachel's jaw drops to the floor.
Standing in front of them is none other than Officer Irriating.
Rachel snaps out of her shocked state and puts her hands over her ears.
RACHEL: I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die...
THOMAS: I understand you're upset about your friend, but we have to do the honorable thing and... scrape him up with a shovel, put him in a garbage bag, and feed him to some angry bears.
BREE: What about his family?
THOMAS(snickers): They think his body's being donated to science!
JACKIE(o.s.): HELLLLOOOOOOOO? MR. LANDES?????? I'D LIKE TO GET DOWN NOW!
Officer Irritating looks up to see Jackie in the tree.
THOMAS: DON'T WORRY! WE'LL BRING IN THE CHERRY PICKER!
JACKIE: THANK YOU MICHAEL!
THOMAS: Michael?
CUT TO: Same scene, sightly later. Officer Irritating is in a Cherry Picker which rises to the top of the tree, Jackie holds on to the tree tightly.
RACHEL: Enough of this shit.
She opens the door of the cherry picker and RELEASES THE PARKING BREAK.
CLOSE IN - OFFICER IRRITATING'S COMICALLY TERRIFIED FACE as the cherry picker goes ROLLING DOWN the road, through several trees, and finally, into the water.
Shots of everyone's faces. They are shocked, scared, and mostly in negative spirits. Except for Rachel, who does a little dance.
RACHEL: I killed someone! Yes!
KYLAH(sarcastic): Brilliant! First you kill Kerr Smith now Michael Landes! And we've got Jackie stuck in a tree, Devon Sawa's run off to Mexico, and Seann William Scott is still in danger! We are stuck in this movie world! You wanna know what I think? You want the truth? You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! 'Cause when you stick your hand into a pile of goo, THAT WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND'S FACE! FORGET IT, RACHEL! IT'S CHINATOWN!
CLEAR: Okay, Kylah, we've all had our share of Iced Cappucinos. Let's just get to my dad's cabin before we cause anymore trouble.
They all begin walking down the road.
JACKIE: HELLO?
She is answered only by the sound of crickets chirping.
JACKIE: SOMEBODY?
An owl hoots in the night.
JACKIE: Mr. Owl? Little help?
The owl gets up and flies away.
JACKIE: Shit...
She hears a cracking in the tree. INSERT SHOT: The tree's trunk is beginning to crack just under Jackie.
JACKIE: Well that can't be good.
CUT TO: INT. CLEAR'S CABIN - NIGHT
The guys/girls, minus Tina, sit in cozy cozy armchairs sipping nice hot cocoa. A fire crackles in the fireplace. Everything is cheery. Kylah plays a guitar and sings the Juicy Fruit song.
TOD: Woah. Things rock now that Carter's dead.
Tina comes out of an inside door, possibly a bathroom, and looks at the cocoa, the fire, and the guitar.
TINA: You idiots!
The music stops. They look incredibly guilty.
TINA: You call this practical?
They avoid her gaze.
TINA: You guys don't know the first thing about teen movies!
CUT TO: SAME SCENE - LATER
Billy sits on the couch and twirls a Twister wheel. It stops on...
BILLY: Right hand yellow!
Rachel, burried in a heap of people on top of a twister board, reaches out her hand onto a yellow pad. Everyone laughs joyously.
Jackie BURSTS through the door, disgruntled and dirty, bruised and scratched from her fall. She grabs Rachel by the collar and calmly, yet hoarsly states...
JACKIE: I am going to kick... your... aaaaaasssssssssss.