(A/N) Hello Readers, Fans of HP, and psychopaths. Its true! I am not dead
and I have come back from beyond the hell that we call high school to
update this story. Yes I do know its been several months *smacks self with
something HARD and PAINFUL* but I am currently doing an update style much
like "Once upon a freakin' time". This means that:
a.) I will update whenever I have a plot idea that is worth writing
b.) It will annoy the heck out of you
Once again I apologize for this taking so long...
Readers: Damn straight
Okay so anyways I present to you the eighth chapter of VOLDEMORT'S TOP SECRET VERY EVIL PLANS *drumroll please and raise up the velvet curtains*
Chapter Eight: Voldemort's evilest plan continued
Lily sighed. "What a wonderful dream...I was at disneyworld and the beach and...OH MY GOD! JAAMES!" she exclaimed vehlemently. "..No...Don't turn me into a marshmallow professor Trelanway...please...". Lily kicked the sleeping lump, this time with success. "W-WHAT the bloody he-" he exclaimed only to find Lily staring at him with huge eyes but something was different... "L-Lily! Since when did you look like a...a...erm..." he stammered, "Like I've been left in an oven and then thrown in a toaster?" She replied. James was still too shocked to speak, and what the heck was that stinging sensation? "It seems that somehow we fell asleep and got SUNBURNED, since SOMEONE forgot to bring the SUNSCREEN." Lily explained while rummaging through a towel bag. She cautiously pulled out a slender twig and waved it through the air. James screamed.
Voldemort squinted at the large, glowing sun... a perfect round sphere that was large...very very large... *SMACK* Voldemort shrieked as the volleyball was spiked into his face yet again. "I demand that you place me on the other side!" He yelled, only to see Bellatrix glare at him and reply, "No way! We ended up with WORMTAIL *readers flinch and threaten to stab their computer screens in a desperate attempt to not be reminded about that lousy burlap bag full of scum* and well...you even out that problem by being on the other team...." Voldemort hissed. This was definitely not going well.
Lucius was meanwhile trying to fill out the orders that the Deatheaters had given him for lunch. "Okaay...so we have 12 hotdogs, 4 large Dr.Peppers, 4 large DIET Dr. Peppers, Fritos, Dorritos, Cheetos, five bags of popcorn, and one metric ton of PEZ candy... Now do you want me to give you the other orders?" ************************************************************************
The Dark Lord had decided that while an amusing sport, it was simply not EVIL enough, so he plotted to create a different sport, an EVIL sport that could be played EVILLY. *Intelligent readers flame me for such a repetitive sentence* He ran back to the van and carefully pulled out a large FINDING NEMO GYMBAG (Availiable at WalMart and most retail stores for $14. 95)
Dolahov: What the hell are you doing with our foldable chairs and boogie boards?
Voldie: I have come up with THE ULTIMATE EVIL TEST OF DOOM! MWAHAHAHAHAAHA! Wanna try it out?
Dolahov: erm that's okay...*backs away slowly*
EXT BACK TO THE FOOD STAND WITH LUCIUS
"Okay I think I've figured out Crabbe's writing....hmmm I didn't know he could write...Lets see... he either wants a pepperoni piece of pizza or a macaroni lease on Giza...How about you get me both just in case. Now finally for me, I think I'll have pancakes...yes that will be all. Now I expect full service or else I'll have to kill you..." The vendor gulped. He always knew this job would be nothing but trouble.
James screamed again. "Lily WHAT is THIS!" They were both emersed in green gloppy junk that smelled faintly of the addicting scent of sunscreen. "Honey Its Aloe-Vera. It helps with sunburns..." James glowered. "LILY! WHAT IS IN YOUR HAND!?" Lily: "A-a Wand...but I don't see...". James: "WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A WAND?" Lily: "Well DUH magic but...Ohhh. *lightbulb*. Instantly the painful sunburns disappeared and the green herbal junk disappeared. So much for Voldie's Evillest plan.
Okay so that may have been a little disappointing but hey ill post another chapter l8ter I PROMISE! R&R PLEASE! If you've read this far then good job! You get a gold star!
a.) I will update whenever I have a plot idea that is worth writing
b.) It will annoy the heck out of you
Once again I apologize for this taking so long...
Readers: Damn straight
Okay so anyways I present to you the eighth chapter of VOLDEMORT'S TOP SECRET VERY EVIL PLANS *drumroll please and raise up the velvet curtains*
Chapter Eight: Voldemort's evilest plan continued
Lily sighed. "What a wonderful dream...I was at disneyworld and the beach and...OH MY GOD! JAAMES!" she exclaimed vehlemently. "..No...Don't turn me into a marshmallow professor Trelanway...please...". Lily kicked the sleeping lump, this time with success. "W-WHAT the bloody he-" he exclaimed only to find Lily staring at him with huge eyes but something was different... "L-Lily! Since when did you look like a...a...erm..." he stammered, "Like I've been left in an oven and then thrown in a toaster?" She replied. James was still too shocked to speak, and what the heck was that stinging sensation? "It seems that somehow we fell asleep and got SUNBURNED, since SOMEONE forgot to bring the SUNSCREEN." Lily explained while rummaging through a towel bag. She cautiously pulled out a slender twig and waved it through the air. James screamed.
Voldemort squinted at the large, glowing sun... a perfect round sphere that was large...very very large... *SMACK* Voldemort shrieked as the volleyball was spiked into his face yet again. "I demand that you place me on the other side!" He yelled, only to see Bellatrix glare at him and reply, "No way! We ended up with WORMTAIL *readers flinch and threaten to stab their computer screens in a desperate attempt to not be reminded about that lousy burlap bag full of scum* and well...you even out that problem by being on the other team...." Voldemort hissed. This was definitely not going well.
Lucius was meanwhile trying to fill out the orders that the Deatheaters had given him for lunch. "Okaay...so we have 12 hotdogs, 4 large Dr.Peppers, 4 large DIET Dr. Peppers, Fritos, Dorritos, Cheetos, five bags of popcorn, and one metric ton of PEZ candy... Now do you want me to give you the other orders?" ************************************************************************
The Dark Lord had decided that while an amusing sport, it was simply not EVIL enough, so he plotted to create a different sport, an EVIL sport that could be played EVILLY. *Intelligent readers flame me for such a repetitive sentence* He ran back to the van and carefully pulled out a large FINDING NEMO GYMBAG (Availiable at WalMart and most retail stores for $14. 95)
Dolahov: What the hell are you doing with our foldable chairs and boogie boards?
Voldie: I have come up with THE ULTIMATE EVIL TEST OF DOOM! MWAHAHAHAHAAHA! Wanna try it out?
Dolahov: erm that's okay...*backs away slowly*
EXT BACK TO THE FOOD STAND WITH LUCIUS
"Okay I think I've figured out Crabbe's writing....hmmm I didn't know he could write...Lets see... he either wants a pepperoni piece of pizza or a macaroni lease on Giza...How about you get me both just in case. Now finally for me, I think I'll have pancakes...yes that will be all. Now I expect full service or else I'll have to kill you..." The vendor gulped. He always knew this job would be nothing but trouble.
James screamed again. "Lily WHAT is THIS!" They were both emersed in green gloppy junk that smelled faintly of the addicting scent of sunscreen. "Honey Its Aloe-Vera. It helps with sunburns..." James glowered. "LILY! WHAT IS IN YOUR HAND!?" Lily: "A-a Wand...but I don't see...". James: "WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A WAND?" Lily: "Well DUH magic but...Ohhh. *lightbulb*. Instantly the painful sunburns disappeared and the green herbal junk disappeared. So much for Voldie's Evillest plan.
Okay so that may have been a little disappointing but hey ill post another chapter l8ter I PROMISE! R&R PLEASE! If you've read this far then good job! You get a gold star!