Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter (for all of you who didn't guess)
Here it is the third chapter of Past's Gone By
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Well the polls are in… House Elves do sleep. And let me tell you, they tend to get upset when you wake them up. I made that mistake once and I don't plan to do it again.
Last night, after my midnight snack, I came back upstairs and fell right asleep. Didn't change out of my jeans. Have you ever done that? It hurts, a lot. I couldn't move. That might have been because James had climbed in behind me and had his arms wrapped around my waist.
When he felt me move he moaned. "Stop." I ignored him and rolled over to face him. His eyes were closed and he smiled slightly. I turned onto my back and sighed. I felt him sit up on his elbow. He traced my forehead, running his finger around my face.
"You're going to be sore." He said in a sing-songy voice. I groaned.
"Why?"
"You wore jeans to bed. That was smart." I sighed again.
"You're lucky I love you." He said lying back down again. My heart flipped over as he said that, as it does every time.
"Why?"
"Because your diary is right there and if I didn't love you," damn heart. "I would've read it." I grinned.
"I'm a lucky girl." He leaned over and kissed me before asking.
"Are you going to write again today, or are you going to come outside and play? We missed you yesterday."
"Sorry." He sighed and I grinned. "I promised I'd finish it." He rolled his eyes.
"Fine." He said, standing, trying to sound hurt. "Write. I'll just have a snowball fight with myself then." As if on cue Sirius ran in panting.
"Hey Prongsy Boy want to have a snowball fight?" James paused to glare at him.
"Don't call me Prongsy Boy." He hissed. I laughed and Sirius made a face. They left and I settled back. Back into 5th year, Christmas vacation.
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Brad and I broke up not long before Christmas, so I was in a particularly cheerful mood on the train home. Casey, Belinda, and I had grabbed a compartment to ourselves, and we were relaxing. I had forbidden Casey from asking the Marauders to sit with us, so life didn't get much better for me. We had almost cleared the food cart completely so we were sitting in a mound of Chocolate Frogs, Berttie Botts Every Flavored Beans, and anything else that had looked good. Something in one of them had undoubtedly been spiked, because about halfway through the trip we were high. Very high.
"Guess what?" Belinda asked, giggling.
Casey and I both stopped laughing. "What?"
"My mom," laughter. "Isn't gonna be there to pick me up!" We found this very amusing, for some odd reason. It was probably the Jolly-Lolly-Licorice. So we started laughing hysterically.
"You're gonna be stuck there!" I said between breaths.
She laughed. "I know!"
"Remus is coming to my house!" Casey said while laughing so it came out a bit broken, "And my dad is gonna flip!" This apparently was quite funny as well, though now looking back on it, I don't see the humorous part. There we were, falling down laughing when Remus came in, looking for Casey. He paused at the doorway when he saw us laughing. We calmed down a little, taking deep breaths, before he said.
"You guys all right?" Which sent us off again. "I guess that's a no, then."
"Whew," I sighed. "I'm tired." Remus just sort of looked at us, as though we were insane. Though why he thought that I have no idea.
"Right then, anyways. Casey how are we getting to your house?" This, of course, was amazingly funny to us, although Remus had no idea what it was that he had said. "You know what?" He said standing, and backing away from the three of us. "I think I'll come back later." As he left we continued laughing.
Minutes later, after the three of us were exhausted; I sighed and laid back into my seat. "Well that was fun."
Belinda giggled. "We're so high." Casey nodded and agreed, while laughing. I grabbed another Chocolate Frog and unwrapped it. As I popped it into my mouth the compartment door slid open and Snape walked in, followed closely by his hooligan friends.
"Well if it isn't the Mudblood, and her little friends." He asked, walking in.
Casey looked around. "I'm sorry, I don't see a Mudblood, only a Muggle Born who's doing better than you in all of her classes." Snape glared at her as he sat down.
"Doesn't change her background." He replied.
"And whatever shit you're saying doesn't change our opinions about her." Belinda shot back. I was afraid that if I tried to talk I would end up hexing him, so I stayed quiet. That didn't work for long though.
Looking at me next he asked. "So do you always get others to fight your battles." I smiled sweetly.
"I'm sorry, who was it that got you into the Hospital Wing for a week. I could've sworn that was me." He raised his eyebrows.
"That was last year. I'm smarter now."
"So 'm I." Casey and Belinda had sat back, curious as to how I was going to solve this one.
"That I find hard to believe."
I grinned. "I could not care less what you do or don't believe, I have more important problems."
"Like why your boyfriend broke up with you." He threw it in my face, as though he expected it to hurt.
"Like how to get rid of a Jackass. One seems to have stumbled into my compartment." I glanced at his friends. "Well, one Jackass, and all of his little friends." Casey gasped.
"Snivellus has friends?" She asked, using the Marauder's favorite name for Snape. "I had no idea!"
"I'm pretty surprised myself." Belinda admitted.
As Snape reached for a candy I slapped his hand. "Get out."
"Or what?" He asked, looking interested.
"Do you want to spend the whole Christmas Break injured?" I asked, pleasantly.
He chortled, there's no other word for what he did. "Normally I'd be worried, but see, I've got something that might be of some use to you." He held up my wand and studied it. "I'd like to see you hex me without it." I saw flames, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if my hair was sparking.
"I come from the Muggle world, and believe me I've learned better ways of hurting people than hexes. And none of them involve a wand." He chortled again.
"If you weren't a girl I'd believe you."
"And if you weren't a girl I'd kick your ass." I said smiling.
"I'd like to see you try." He was daring me, and as I was about to smack that guy about I heard James' annoying voice.
"Give her the wand back." I turned to glare at him.
"As much as I know you love playing the hero I am not a damsel in distress." He rolled his eyes at me and turned back to Snape.
"Why do you still have the lady's wand?" He asked, which really pissed me off.
"You don't even have the decency to call me by my name? I'm just 'the lady'? Should I spell it for you, or are there too many long words. I don't need your help!" I emphasized the last sentence trying to get it through his head.
"You don't have your wand yet so apparently you do." He sounded exasperated, as if I was the one being difficult.
"You don't exactly have my wand in your hands yet either!" Neither of us noticed Snape as he and his followers left, leaving my wand on his empty seat.
"Well I might by now if you didn't keep interrupting me!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was disturbing you. Why don't I just sit back and look pretty? Would that help?" I was practically fuming as I yelled this.
He grinned cockily. "Actually that'd be great. Now you just stand back and I'll deal with…" He trailed off as he noticed that Snape was gone. "Dammit, you made me lose him." I made a noise of disgust.
"Excuse me? I made you lose him? You must be very confused because before you came along I was doing great and if you hadn't shown up then I wouldn't have lost him!" Belinda was laughing while she spoke up.
"Guys?"
"What?" We yelled in unison.
"Lily's wand is right there." She pointed at it and we both paused.
"That's not the point." I said after the moment's silence.
James sighed. "Then what, pray tell, is the point?" I sneered at him.
"That you think you can waltz up and save me when I don't need saving! And the whole, 'lady' thing! If you're going to talk about me at least can you call me by name?!"
"I don't have to take this." He said turning around. "I'm leaving."
"Good riddance!" was all I could think of to say. As the door slammed shut I collapsed into my chair with a sigh. Casey handed me a pillow which I promptly stuck my face into and screamed.
"Well," Belinda said after I was finished. "That was amusing."
"He is such a… a… AGH!" Bel and Casey looked at each other and rolled their eyes, while I continued ranting.
"He thinks he's so great! Sauntering in here as if he owns the place! How dare he call me 'the lady'! As if I don't even deserve a name! Who does he think he is?!" I was pacing around the room, not really talking to Casey or Belinda. "One of these days I'm just going to kill him! Then what will he say? Then will he believe I'm capable of actually doing something?!"
"Lily?" Casey asked, cautiously.
"Don't interrupt me I'm venting!" I yelled, before returning to pace. "This was supposed to be fun and cheerful! I was purposely not going to run into him, but what does he do? Goes out of his way to piss me off!"
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I went on like this a lot, and Casey and Bel learned how to tune me out. I had finished complaining by the time we reached the station and as we climbed out, more sober than before, Belinda's situation seemed more urgent.
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"Belinda," I asked as the train slowed to a stop. "Where are you going to go?" She shrugged. "How are you getting there?" Another shrug.
"So basically," Casey explained. "She's going to completely wing it." Bel nodded, refusing to speak.
"Come home with me." She shook her head. "No come on. It'll be fun, and we can freak out my sister's annoying boyfriend."
She smiled. "I don't want to intrude. Christmas is a family time."
I shook my head. "No, you're coming. Let's go." We grabbed our trunks and hauled them onto the platform. Waving to Casey we walked through the barrier entering the Muggle world. I saw my parents as soon as I stepped out. Standing by themselves, trying to avoid being seen by anyone else. I waved to them and they returned a smile, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.
"They don't want to be associated with me." I whispered to Bel as we walked over, plastering a mile on my face I greeted them. "Mom! Dad! It's so great to see you guys again!" We exchanged forced hugs before my mom noticed Belinda.
"And who's this?"
"Mom, Dad, this is Belinda, a friend of mine from school." They both shook her hand, their smiles not reaching their eyes. "Her parents forgot to come pick her up. So I volunteered to take her home. Is that okay?"
They nodded and assured us that it was no problem, although I saw they weren't too happy with the idea. Ever since I received my letter my parents have been cautious with me. They acted proud and 'ever so happy' but everything changed. It was as if they were afraid their real daughter had been kidnapped and I was just replacing her.
"Your parents hate me." Bel whispered as we followed them to the car.
"Don't feel bad, they hate me too." I grinned.
"How can they hate you?" She asked, astonished. "You're their daughter."
"That's what you think." I lowered my voice. "In reality I'm just an alien who abducted her body and am going to kill everyone in the house." I added an evil laugh at the end for fun.
"Is that what they think?" Belinda still could not believe that my parents hated me.
"Something along those lines." I answered smiling as we climbed in the back.
The car ride home was normal strained conversation. My parents knew nothing (and still know nothing) about wizards or talking to them. Which may be the reason I'm not bringing James home. I entered the house, awaiting Petunia's shriek.
"There's two of them?!" I didn't have long to wait, the second Belinda closed the door we could hear her voice. "Mother! Why did you let her bring a friend?!" My mom smiled at Belinda, trying to distract her from Petunia's piercing voice.
"You can stay in Lily's room. Lily can you show her?" I nodded and started dragging my trunk up the stairs followed closely by Bel.
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Belinda just came in and started reading over my shoulder. When I asked what she was doing she demanded.
"Why are you writing about Christmas? It has nothing to do with James!"
"Because," I retorted. "It has to do with me." She sighed.
"This story's not about you! It's about James!" Then she saw my face. "Well I mean, it is about you, but it's just, oh whatever. Write about Christmas, but skip the week after." I agreed, basically to get her to leave.
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We stayed in my room until dinner, avoiding the rest of my family. Belinda had never been in a completely Muggle household, and she was fascinated by my room. When my mom yelled up the stairs that dinner was ready I led the way to our dinning room, stopping in the kitchen to grab plates first. As I set them around the table I explained to Belinda the 'rules'.
"Petunia's boyfriend is a Muggle, so we have to be extremely careful around him okay? One: don't ever mention Hogwarts. If he asks, you go to my school. Two: If he asks where your parents work say the government, and don't get into the details. Three: Don't under any circumstances mention the word Magic. And lastly remember, this is going to be really different, anything that relates to our World do not bring up." She nodded once, to show she understood, before sighing deeply.
"This is going to be difficult."
I smiled and reassured her that everything would be fine, before my parents came in, leading Vernon, and Petunia, who was clinging onto his arm. She was doing the ditzy, giggly girl routine. Remember earlier how I described the kinds of girls I can not stand? She was doing an excellent impression of one of them.
"Oh my God, Vern, you are so completely right!" And then some grinning flirtatiously at him. To be quite honest, it was nauseating. As we sat to eat Vernon noticed Belinda.
"Who's this?" He grunted.
"Belinda," I answered. "She's a friend of mine from school." He then informed us of all his friends their names, jobs, hobbies. It took quite a while even though there were only 32 of them.
I zoned out, trying not to hear his voice until Belinda poked me and motioned toward the door. I got the hint, she was as bored as I was.
I stood up. "We're going to go. We've got some homework to do. We want to finish it early." My mom nodded half heartedly.
"Sure honey, whatever."
"We'll probably go out later."
She nodded again. "Okay." I grinned at Belinda and taking our plates we left. As soon as we entered the kitchen Belinda let loose.
"That was insane! The guy is so full of himself!" She was laughing so hard her sentences came out in breaks. "And he actually thought we cared!" I feigned amazement.
"You didn't care! I was fascinated!" we walked up the stairs still laughing and as we got into my room Belinda grinned.
"Are we really going to do our homework?" She asked, I shook my head.
"Hell no. We're going into town!"
She grinned. "This place has a down town?" I shrugged.
"More or less."
As I crept past the dinning room door Belinda grinned and started humming the James Bond theme.
I smiled and plastered myself to the wall. I slunk down the hallway staying up against the wall and Belinda followed my example, still singing.
As I crawled towards the front door I heard Belinda giggling. I turned to face her, still on my hands and knees. I looked down at the two pairs of feet and as I slowly lifted my gaze I saw Vernon's confused face. I grinned up at him, trying to look as innocent as possible.
"Good to go Bel," I said. "No nails at all." Belinda continued laughing as she opened the door and waved to Vernon. "Well see you later Vern ol' pal. Don't wait up." I grinned again and crawled out the door, closing it behind me.
As the door slammed shut we burst. Lying on the front porch laughing, just remembering his confused face.
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Vernon was born stupid, and I'm being nice putting it that way. This guy has no idea how to survive in life. He is oblivious to everything around him. Last time I saw him I mentioned Hogwarts by accident. He stared at me for a moment before asking:
"Is that in London?" And I just smiled and nodded, because that's the only way to get by with him.
Petunia hates it whenever I say that, the truth is though he was her first boyfriend. The first guy that could put up with her. And he'll be the last too and guess who has to go to the wedding. Yup, and I'm supposed to bring someone too. Great! It's in April and it'll be a whole bunch of annoying Muggle's asking me how school's going and when James and I are getting married. That is Hell, let me tell you. And if I didn't bring James it would be all the old married ladies asking me why I'm still single and trying to set me up with their daughter's husband's friend's brother, or something. I've been through that before and it's not happening again. Maybe I'll be sick. Hmmm, now that's a thought.
Oh God, how did I get on this subject. I am hopeless. That's the only word for me. I am never going to amount to anything. Maybe one day someone will read this and shake their head and say: "Why did this girl bother recording her life, she's so boring." And I'll say: "It's not my fault, blame Belinda!" Ha, if anyone reads it that is. Wow depressing thought. Maybe I'm writing all this for no one. Because no one cares.
On another thought though, why should anyone care? I don't care about their life, why should mine be so special? What is the point of living? The happiness? The pain? Will it ever amount to anything? We all eventually die anyways, why do we bother living? Would the world change at all if I died? Would it affect anyone for longer than a week? Everyone would forget about me until I was just a vague memory. Maybe people would talk about me years later. "Do you remember Lily Evans?" "Lily who?" "Evans, she died a couple years ago." "Oh yes, Lily, I hadn't even thought about her until you mentioned her." "Well why bother remembering her… she's dead."
Would anyone cry? I doubt it. Why should anyone cry over poor, quiet, shy, Lily Evans, who never amounted to anything? If I was someone else I wouldn't. Hopefully one day someone will care enough about me to talk me out of these moods, instead of just ignoring them like everyone else. I help them ignore it though, by pasting a smile of my face and laughing over everything. My theory: If I don't let anyone else see I'm hurt then I'm not vulnerable. Letting someone know all my fears and hopes would leave me open to anything, with that power they could kill me slowly, day by day. So instead I shut everyone out, not letting them see the real me. That's all I want, someone who can see it and would never use it against me. But I'm getting doubtful. For a while I thought it would be James, but he doesn't see all my fears. Maybe someday I'll let him, but until then I'm all alone in a world full of pairs…
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A/N: Sorry about this, my boyfriend dumped me so I kind of went through a depressed 'why live?' faze. Next chapter will be more cheerful, Lily's going back to school and we get to meet Sirius! Fun scenes, I'm looking forward to it. Sorry it took me so long but I'd get my laptop back long enough to write a page and then they'd take it away again. So I'm taking advantage of the time with it. No idea when the next one should be coming out. Hopefully soon.
As always I'll LOVE YOU if you review because I only have 9 and my friend has 100 and that's kind of depressing. But oh well, I'll put it up anyways regardless.
-Gretch
PS: Madison wants me to change the name to Time's Gone By, but I want another opinion, so anyone who cares say something.
PPS: Pomegranette, Tiara who ever you are YOU MADE MY DAY! I LOVE YOU! I was so sad because no one had reviewed in a week and I wasn't expecting anyone to and then I saw your review. I love you all, everyone who reviewed THANK YOU!